Day by Day with Bhagavan - Part 6

Day by Day with Bhagavan

Bhagavan: He cannot be such an ignoramus, as you

started by saying he was a sadhaka in this line already.

23-3-46 Afternoon

Bhagavan was perusing Thirukovalur Puranam and

telling the story of Pari, the philanthropist, and about Avvai

having got his daughters married to a king. Bhagavan was

saying that in this book Pari is traced to Ceylon, whereas

in other books a Pari is mentioned as having lived in these

parts and having eclipsed by his liberality the three kings,

Chera, Chola and Pandya.

24-3-46

I referred to Swami Sambuddhananda’s last question,

what to do with those who have lost faith in God and who, if

asked to find out their source, may say, ‘Our parents are the

source from which we spring.’

Bhagavan: Fancy a man saying our source is our parents.

I asked, “But what about a pure materialist, who does

not believe in God. How are we to deal with him?”

Bhagavan: He will come gradually, step by step, to find

out the source of ‘I’. First, adversity will make him feel that

there is a power beyond his control, upsetting his plans. Then,

he will begin with rituals, ceremonial worship, and through

japa, kirtan, dhyana, go on to vichara.

I asked Bhagavan, “What is the fire that is called the

Nachiketa fire in the Kathopanishad?”

Bhagavan: “I don’t know what exactly it is. It must refer to

some fire ritual. These terms are generally symbolical. Only today,

I saw in the current number of the Ramakrishna Vijayam an article

on the Five Fires.” So saying, he took up the journal and read out

to us almost the whole of the article. It refers to the svarga loka,

184

the megha mandala, the earth, man and woman as the five fires,

and gives allegorical interpretations for all the details.

25-3-46 Afternoon

I again asked Bhagavan about the Nachiketa fire. “I find

from the Kathopanishad that there was already a fire sacrifice

which was supposed to lead one to heaven. After Yama explained

it to Nachiketas as the second boon, he voluntarily said, ‘Hereafter

this fire will be called the Nachiketa fire, after you.’ But later, the

Nachiketa fire is mentioned as three fires. I don’t understand

what this fire is and why it is called three fires.” Thereupon,

Bhagavan asked us to look up the commentary and we took out

Krishna Prem’s Kathopanishad and Bhagavan read out the

portion concerned. He added, “Everything is allegorical. They

gave out truths only in this way, never straight out in a simple

and direct manner. The same fire has three branches or flames,

and so is called one fire or three fires. But both the one fire and

the three branches are allegorical, the fire standing for something

and the branches for other things. The commentary says that the

one central fire has to be kindled on the three planes, bhu, bhuvar,

and suvar, or the physical, astral and mental planes.”

Colombo Ramachandra had sent two more ‘§ÚjRôi

PLm’ (Tiruttandagam) stanzas composed by him. Bhagavan saw

them this morning, passed them, and asked Muruganar to go

through them, as well as the other six stanzas already composed

by Ramachandra, and recorded in the stotra book. Muruganar

perused all the eight and had no alterations or corrections to

suggest. So, again with Bhagavan’s permission, the two stanzas

were recorded by Mr. Viswanath in the stotra book.

26-3-46

About 10-30 a.m. a gentleman from Jhansi, who it seems

teaches music to a princess, arrived here recently in a state of

great excitement and emotion, having made up his mind after

185

reading about Bhagavan that he must somehow run up to him.

He told Bhagavan last evening, “Bhagavan, I have come a long

distance, travelling two days and two nights. I was not sure I

would succeed in seeing Bhagavan. I did not even take leave

from my employers. I was so mad about coming here that nothing

else entered my mind. Now that I have arrived and seen Bhagavan,

my mind is filled with bliss which I cannot express.” And he

sang a few songs. But emotion overpowered him and he could

not proceed. Bhagavan was kindly looking at him for several

minutes and showered his grace on the fortunate devotee.

26-3-46 Afternoon

A lady devotee Sitamma, a resident of Madura, read out

and then gave to Bhagavan, a kummi poem composed by her in

commemoration of the opening of Ramana Mandiram at

Madura on the 10th of the Tamil month Masi in the year Parthiva

when Bhagavan’s portrait was carried in procession through

that town. Chinna Swami told us that this lady came across the

above procession without having had any previous notice about

it, and was so overpowered with joy that she went into ecstasy

and remained in a sort of trance for about 15 minutes.

27-3-46 Afternoon

Mr. Nanavati of Bombay asked Bhagavan the meaning of

the word madhvada in the Kathopanishad. After consulting some

books, it was found out that the expression means the ego or jiva

which is the enjoyer of madhu or all the enjoyments of the world.

In this connection Bhagavan said, “There are so many vidyas

mentioned in the Upanishads. One of them is madhu vidya.

Elaborate details and rules are given for each of these vidyas.

But what is the use of all these vidyas? Still we must note that

there are some whose minds are so built that they can take interest

only in such vidyas. But the truth is, all karma of whatever kind

will lead to fresh bondage. That is why it is said in ‘I¯®p

186

IÓdLm’ (Ozhivil odukkam) that Guru who prescribes fresh karma

or action of any sort i.e., rituals or sacrifices to one who after

trying various karmas comes to him for peace, is both Brahma

and Yama to the disciple i.e., he only creates fresh births and

deaths. The following stanza which says this was quoted:

¡¬ûVd ¡}jÕYkÕ úLhPYodÏf ÑmUô

§¬Vf ÑLm®}jR ºUôu—ÏÚYu±f

Ntú\ TûRl×j R¬àg NLmTûPdLd

Ltøàe LôXàUôe Lôi.

28-3-46 Morning

Bhagavan’s legs were being massaged by Dr. S. Rao, with

a taila, prepared by Siva Das, which was being exhausted with

today’s use. So the Asramam was thinking of preparing a taila

and to help them Bhagavan took up a book in Telugu containing

recipes and, the moment he opened it, it opened at a page dealing

with camphor liniment. The coincidence was remarkable. The

recipe contained almost all the ingredients the Asramam

intended to use and in addition tulsi leaf and something else.

Bhagavan was very particular that the bottle in which Siva Das

had sent his taila should be returned to him and gave instructions

to that effect to attendant Krishnaswami. Again when Siva Das

came to the hall later in the day, Bhagavan asked him and

Krishnaswami whether the bottle had been returned and was

satisfied only when he learned it had been done.

Afternoon

Bhagavan was looking into Arunachala Sthalapuranam,

and reading the Arunachala satakam, where the story of Pari’s

daughters being got married by Avvai is briefly told, to compare

it with the account given in Thirukovalur Sthalapuranam. The

accounts tallied more or less. But Bhagavan told us that the

Pari known as a great giver or philanthropist is supposed to

have lived near Madura, Piranmalai etc., and to have been put

187

to death by the machinations of the three kings, Chera, Chola

and Pandya, who were envious of his reputation, whereas these

two books mention Pari as having ruled in Ceylon.

29-3-46 Afternoon

A visitor wrote some questions in Tamil and presented

them to Bhagavan. Bhagavan said, “He wants to know how to

turn the mind from sense enjoyments and realise that bliss which

is said to be so much above sense-enjoyments. There is only

one way, making the mind merge in That which is not senseenjoyment.

As you concentrate on That, the sense attractions

will fall of their own accord. Again, he asks, ‘When can I attain

that bliss?’ He is daily enjoying that bliss in sleep. There, no

sense object is present, and he still enjoys great bliss. We have

not got to attain bliss. We are bliss. Bliss is another name for

us. It is our nature. All that we have to do is to turn the mind,

draw it from the sense objects every time it goes towards them,

and fix it in the Self. He asks whether he will attain bliss after

death. There is no need to die to attain bliss. Merging of the

mind alone is necessary. Death is also another name for us. For

what is death but giving up the body? Our real nature is to be

without the body.”

After a pause Bhagavan added, “The story of Indra and

Ahalya in Yoga Vasishta strongly illustrates how, by the force

of the mind being merged in one thing, all other things will

cease to affect one. There Ahalya, the wife of a king, falls in

love with a rake called Indra and they passionately love each

other. The matter reached the king’s ears and attains the

magnitude of a great public scandal. The king then orders the

couple to be put through various cruel tortures. But neither of

them is affected by the tortures. Their faces do not even show a

twitch of pain but are blissfully smiling at each other. The king,

baffled by all this, asks them what the secret of their strength

and resistance is. They said, ‘What! don’t you know? We are

188

looking at each other, and so engrossed are we with each other,

that our mind has no room in it for any other thoughts. So far as

we are concerned, we two alone exist, each for the other, and

nothing else exists. How then can we be affected by other

things?’ Such is the power of the merged mind.”

Night

Muruganar brought a book by Raghava Iyengar, the

famous Tamil scholar, and quoted authority to prove that,

whatever puranas like Thirukovalur Purana may say, it has

been established beyond doubt that Pari, the philanthropist

known to Tamil literature, was one who lived and flourished

near Piranmalai and not anyone who lived in Ceylon.

In the afternoon, Mr. Bose showed Bhagavan a letter he

had received from Paul Brunton. In this, Brunton says he is going

back to America and that he should have very much liked to

meet Bhagavan during the last six years, but it was rendered

impossible by the attitude of the Asramam and that therefore he

had come to accept fate in this matter and was meeting Bhagavan

only in the deep places of his heart where Bhagavan still is.

7-4-46 Night

A visitor said, “In the Pondicherry Aurobindo Ashram it

is said that the final stage of spiritual progress is to become

the purushottama and it would seem that activity is predicated

of that purushottama i.e., some vritti would seem to be

associated with that state, whereas it is believed by other

schools that cessation of all vrittis is liberation.”

Bhagavan said, “You say, all schools advise you to give

up all vrittis so that you can reach your final goal, whether it is

becoming purushottama or something else. You must cease to

be the three kinds of ordinary purusha i.e., the adhama,

madhyama, uttama and become that purushottama. This is

189

accepted. Whether, when you transcend these three kinds and

cease to be the ordinary purusha, there is any vritti still left is a

matter with which you need not concern yourself now. Attain

that state and see for yourself what that state is and whether

there is any vritti in it. To speak even of brahmakara vritti, as

we sometimes do, is not accurate. If we can talk of the river

that has merged in the ocean as still a river and call it

samudrakara river, we can talk of the final stage in spiritual

growth as having Brahmakara vritti. When people from Sri

Aurobindo’s Ashram come here and ask about the differences

between our school and theirs, I always tell them, ‘There,

complete surrender is advised and insisted upon before anything

further could be hoped for or attained. So, do it first. I also

advise it. After making such surrender, i.e., complete surrender

and not any partial or conditional surrender, you will be able to

see for yourself whether there are two purushas, whether power

comes from anywhere and gets into anywhere, etc.’ For we

know nothing about God or any source from which power comes

and gets into us. All that is not known. But ‘I exist’ is known

beyond all dispute by all men. So let us know who that ‘I’ is. If,

after knowing it, there still remain any doubts such as are now

raised, it will be time enough then to try and clear such doubts.”

From this point, the talk drifted to the various schools of

thought, one saying there is only reality, others saying there are

three eternal entities such as jagat, jiva and Ishwara, or pati,

pasu and pasam. In this connection, Bhagavan observed

humorously, “It is not at all correct to say that Advaitins or the

Shankara school deny the existence of the world or that they

call it unreal. On the other hand, it is more real to them than to

others. Their world will always exist, whereas the world of the

other schools will have origin, growth and decay and as such

cannot be real. Only, they say the world as world is not real, but

that the world as Brahman is real. All is Brahman, nothing exists

but Brahman, and the world as Brahman is real. In this way,

190

they claim they give more reality to the world than the other

schools do. For example, according to schools which believe

in three entities, the jagat is only one-third of the reality

whereas according to Advaita, the world as Brahman is reality,

the world and reality are not different. Similarly, even to God

or Brahman, the other schools give only one-third sovereignty.

The other two entities necessarily limit the reality of God.

So, when Shankara is called mayavadi it may be retorted,

‘Shankara says maya does not exist. He who denies the

existence of maya and calls it mithya or non-existent cannot

be called a mayavadi. It is those who grant its existence and

call its product, the world, a reality who should rightly be

called mayavadis. One who denies Ishwara is not called

Ishwaravadi, but only one who affirms the existence of

Ishwara.’” Bhagavan went on to add, “All these are of course

vain disputations. There can be no end to such disputations.

The proper thing to do is to find out the ‘I’, about whose

existence nobody has any doubt, and which alone persists

when everything else vanishes, as during sleep, and then see

if there is any room for such doubts or disputes.”

8-4-46

Most of Bhagavan’s time today was spent in listening

to Arunachala Mahatmyam, compiled by Mr. Venkatrama

Aiyar in English, with material culled from Skanda Puranam

and other books.

9-4-46

Reading of the above work was continued and finished

this morning.

In today’s post were received two books in the Czech

language, one being The Life and Teachings of Ramana

Maharshi and the other a translation of Bhagavan’s important

works. First, we could not understand in what language the

191

books were written. But Mr. Osborne told us it was Czech.

Bhagavan looked into the books and the pictures it contained

of him and of the hill with the clouds above it.

Afternoon

Bhagavan found that the pages of one of the above books

were uncut. So he took a penknife and cut some pages.

Meanwhile, he discovered that the book had not even been

stitched and bound properly. So he decided to send it to the

local binder, who would also attend to the cutting, etc.

Mrs. Shroff brought a small ornamental box, apparently of

silver, and a small plate of copper with some sweets in them, and

offered them to Bhagavan as having been sent to him by her

husband. Bhagavan asked the attendants to take the sweets and

return the box and plate with one or two sweets to Mrs. S. But

when they were returned, Mrs. S. said they were all offered to

Bhagavan, not only the sweets. Thereupon, Bhagavan said, “What

are we to do with them? Send them to the office and tell them

Shroff has sent them.” This put Bhagavan in a reminiscent mood

and he said, “For many years, while I was on the Hill, we had

nothing but one or two mud-pots — no vessel at all of any sort.

After many years, one day, a woman brought me some eatables

in a small vessel, very old and battered and patched up in many

places, and when we took the eatables and returned the rotten

old vessel, she insisted on our keeping the vessel too, saying, ‘It

might be of some use to people who come here for drinking

water, etc. So please keep it here.’ That was the beginning of our

having any vessels at all. After that, gradually one vessel after

another found its way into the Asramam, till now we have all

sorts of things brought here, like this box and plate. What am I to

do with such things?” Thereupon, I remarked, “Yes. What should

Bhagavan do with these things? But when people come across

any such fancy things and like them themselves, they like to

offer them to one whom they love best. That is only natural.”

192

10-4-46 Morning

Dr. Masalavala gave Bhagavan a letter addressed to him

by a friend of his. Bhagavan perused it. Some portions of it

were not cogent. With other portions there could be no quarrel.

The letter said that all is contained in asti (sat), bhati (chit),

priya (ananda), nam and rup, that the first three constitute

reality, and the rest the fleeting and unreal; that jnana consists

in seeing only the reality and not the nam-rup, that the first

three constitute aham and the next two constitute idam (this).

Bhagavan agreed and said, “‘I’ and ‘this’ between them exhaust

everything.” The letter also said that seeing Brahman alone in

everything and everywhere is jnanottara bhakti. With reference

to this, Bhagavan said, “This is a matter of mere words, whether

you call the stage of seeing only Brahman, jnanottara bhakti

or bhakti-uttara jnana. In reality, saying ‘We must see Brahman

in everything and everywhere’ is also not quite correct. Only

that stage is final, where there is no seeing, where there is no

time or space. There will be no seer, seeing and an object to

see. What exists then is only the infinite eye.”

In the afternoon Mr. Narayanaswamy Aiyar’s daughter,

married to our Sundaresa Aiyar’s son, sang a few songs and

then related the following miracle:

“In Cawnpore, we are living on the third floor of a house

and we are the only residents on that floor. We have a tap there,

but water rarely rises up to that level and we have daily to go

down several flights of stairs and climb up with all the water

necessary for us. My husband used to do this work daily for me.

It was too much for him. And I was too weak to be able to help

him in this daily task. One day, when I was alone in the house

and my husband was in his office, I was pondering over this hard

situation of ours and how we were to find a solution for this. I

had kept the empty vessel before the tap and was singing in a

pensive mood. Then I began singing the song Saranagati. (This

193

is a song well-known among Bhagavan’s devotees. It was

composed by Mr. M.V. Ramaswami Aiyar and is sung by him

and the members of his family whenever they want Bhagavan to

interpose and avert evil from them or bring them good). It says,

in brief, ‘We take shelter under you and you are our sole refuge.

Who else is there to whom we can turn? If you delay to come to

our rescue, we can bear it no longer. So, come at once, end my

misery, give me happiness!’ Then the water began to trickle down

the tap and kept on flowing more as I went on with the song. So

I sang the song till all our vessels were filled with water. When

my husband returned home, he was surprised to find so much

water and could not conceive how I could have got all that water.

Then I told him, ‘I have discovered now a secret device for getting

water. If I sing Saranagati I can get water.’ My husband naturally

could not believe it and so I tried the same device again in his

presence and the water flowed from the tap. Ever since then, my

water problem has ceased. I had only to sing Saranagati, and

water will flow from the tap. I have tried other songs. But they

don’t give the same result. Afterwards, when I fell ill and father

came to see me, I told him about this and he too could not believe

it, till I again repeated the experiment before him and he saw it

succeeded. He asked me to try other songs. I did. But none of

them produced the same result.” The girl told all this with great

glee and there was such a ring of truth about the whole narration

that I consider it would be absurd to doubt the truth of the

experience.

In the night, Bhagavan asked attendant Vaikuntha Vasan

whether the monkeys were properly fed in the noon and whether

many monkeys turned up. It being ‘Sri Rama Navami’, Bhagavan

had suggested, “This is their (monkeys’) day. We must give them

food”. And accordingly about 11 a.m., when we were all having

our food, Vaikuntha Vasan seems to have taken a good quantity

of food, vegetables, vadai, payasam, i.e., all that we were taking,

all mixed up together, to the steps at the back of the Asramam for

194

the monkeys. Bhagavan’s question had reference to this. Vaikunta

Vasan replied, “When I went, there were only two or three

monkeys. But after a time, all of them came and they were all

well-fed. They did not quarrel with each other or bite each other.”

Bhagavan said, “They won’t fight when there is enough for all.

All trouble arises only when there is want. They would also raise

a big cry as an indication of their joy, whenever they get plenty to

eat. We have had such experiences when I was on the Hill. They

used to be fed frequently there.”

11-4-46 Morning

About 8 a.m., as Bhagavan was entering his ‘cage’ as he

calls it, i.e., the new railing round his sofa, he was staring hard at

Dr. Srinivasa Rao who was standing near me to the south of

Bhagavan’s sofa. I was wondering why Bhagavan did so. But

after a few minutes, Bhagavan explained, “It looked to me as if

you were wearing shorts and I was wondering whether you were

about to go out somewhere. Whenever Mudaliar gets into his

pants, I know he is about to go out somewhere. So I thought you

too were preparing to get out. But I see now you had only tucked

up your dhoti in such a way that it looked as if you were in

shorts.” The Doctor said, “No, I have given up trousers now.”

About 11 a.m. after the bell had been rung for lunch as

usual, Bhagavan was trying to get up from his sofa. As usual, he

was rubbing his legs, knees and massaging them gently before

getting up; and turning to Mr. S. Doraiswamy Iyer (who arrived

here last evening), told him, “Your friend (i.e., Dr. S. Rao) is

giving such great attention to this pain of mine that it refuses to

leave me. Who will like to depart from a place where they received

all hospitality and attention?” Mr. S.D. replied, “Apparently,

Bhagavan is keeping this pain, only to benefit the doctor.”

In the afternoon, as I entered the hall, Bhagavan was

looking into the two Czech books recently received, and after

195

looking at them and approving the binding done locally he

returned them to me. I showed them to Mr. S. D. Then

Bhagavan asked him if he had seen Zimmer’s book in German

on Bhagavan. Mr. S. D. replied he had not. So I went and got

the book and showed it to Mr. S. D.

12-4-46 Morning

I told Bhagavan: “Last evening when I went into the town,

a lady, who met me on the road, accosted me and asked me if

I was doing well. I could not recognise her. She felt offended

and told me she also claimed to be connected with Bhagavan.

It seems her mother, one Unnamalai Ammal was giving milk

regularly to Jadaswami when Bhagavan used to frequent

Jadaswami’s place, that then this Unnamalai Ammal would

give milk to Bhagavan also, that her father used to fan

Bhagavan, that she herself as a child of two or three had even

clung to Bhagavan’s back, that her name Rukmani was given

to her by Bhagavan and that even now whenever she goes to

the Asramam, Bhagavan enquires about her, and so on. I

wonder if all this is true.” Bhagavan said, “Yes. Yes. I knew

the mother who was attending on Jadaswami. I have known

this lady from her childhood. She comes here now too. They

are a Komutti family. The father died long ago.”

Afternoon

A visitor had given Bhagavan a piece of paper on which

he had scribbled in pencil a number of questions. When I went

into the hall about 3 p.m., Bhagavan was trying to decipher

them and turning round to me said, “Here is a question paper.”

Question 1: How to get rid of credulousness? The visitor’s

problem was that he starts with some ideal recommended to

him, but when others come and recommend other ideals, he

feels inclined to believe them and give up his old ideals.

196

Bhagavan: Yes. Yes. Our whole trouble is that we are

credulous. We believe in everything except the reality. We

must give up all our false beliefs, and that is the only thing we

have to do. Then the reality will shine by itself.

Question 2: I start with great keenness towards some

ideal. But gradually I get slack. What should I do to prevent

it, and what is the reason for this happening?

Bhagavan: Just as there must have been a reason for your

keenness at one time, there must be a reason for getting slack

also later on.

Question 3: There are a number of spiritual teachers,

teaching various paths. Whom should one take for one’s Guru?

Bhagavan: Choose that one where you find you get shanti

or peace.

Question 4: What is the best way of dealing with desires,

with a view to getting rid of them — satisfying them or

suppressing them?

Bhagavan: If a desire can be got rid of by satisfying it,

there will be no harm in satisfying such a desire. But desires

generally are not eradicated by satisfaction. Trying to root them

out that way is like pouring spirits to quench fire. At the same

time, the proper remedy is not forcible suppression, since such

repression is bound to react sooner or later into forceful surging

up with undesirable consequences. The proper way to get rid

of a desire is to find out “Who gets the desire? What is its

source?” When this is found, the desire is rooted out and it will

never again emerge or grow. Small desires such as the desire to

eat, drink and sleep and attend to calls of nature, though these

may also be classed among desires, you can safely satisfy. They

will not implant vasanas in your mind, necessitating further

birth. Those activities are just necessary to carry on life and are

not likely to develop or leave behind vasanas or tendencies. As

197

a general rule, therefore, there is no harm in satisfying a desire

where the satisfaction will not lead to further desires by creating

vasanas in the mind.

Question 5: What is the meaning of ‘Om’?

Bhagavan: ‘Om’ is everything. It is another name for

Brahmam.

I was looking into the January issue of Vision and came

across a story about Kulasekhara Alwar. Having heard during a

kalakshepam that Ravana had taken away Sita, Kulasekhara

identified himself so much with the situation in the story that

he thought it was his duty as a worshipper of Rama at once to

hasten to Lanka and release Sita, that he ran up and had entered

the sea to cross over to Lanka, that then Rama appeared with

Sita and Lakshmana showered His grace on him. I remembered

another version, that Kulasekhara started on a campaign with

his army to succour Rama, that meanwhile the Bhagavatar doing

the kalakshepam, sensing the situation, passed on at once to

Rama emerging victoriously from the battle, killing all his

enemies, etc. Bhagavan also thought the version I had in mind

was the correct one and that the matter referred to Rama’s battle

with Khara and Dushana and not with Ravana for Sita. Bhagavan

looked up a history of the Alwars and told us that both incidents

are found in Kulasekhara’s life. This led me to make the

following remark, “Some Maratha Saint also did a similar thing.

He leaped up to the roof, I think.” Thereupon, Dr. S. Rao asked

Bhagavan, “I don’t know that story. What is that story?”

Thereupon Bhagavan said, “Ekanath was writing the Ramayana

and when he came to the portion in which he was graphically

describing that Hanuman jumped across the ocean to Lanka,

he so identified himself with his hero Hanuman, that

unconsciously he leaped into the air and landed on the roof of

his neighbour. This neighbour had always a poor opinion of

Ekanath, taking him for a humbug and religious hypocrite. He

heard a thud on his roof and, coming out to see what it was,

198

discovered Ekanath lying down on the roof with the cadjan

leaf in one hand and his iron stile in the other, and the cadjan

leaf had verses describing how Hanuman leapt across the sea.

This incident proved to the neighbour what a genuine bhakta

Ekanath was and he became his disciple.”

After a pause, Bhagavan also related, “God appeared in

a dream to Ekanath and asked him to go and repair the tomb

of Jnaneswar. When Ekanath went there accordingly, he found

a contractor ready to do all the work and take payment at the

end. The contractor opened a big account, in which all

expenses were entered, with the names of all the workmen

and wages paid to them. Everything went on systematically

and when the work of repairs having been completed, the

accounts had to be looked into and the contractor paid his

dues, the contractor and his big account book totally

disappeared. Then alone Ekanath came to know God was his

contractor and did the work. Such things have happened.”

13-4-46

Today is Tamil New Year Day. The panchangam for the

New Year was read out by our Sastriar in Bhagavan’s presence

in the afternoon.

14-4-46 Afternoon

Attendant Sivananda was reading out the Tamil Siva

Sahasranama found at the end of Tiru Arul Mozhi. When I entered

the hall about 3 p.m. Bhagavan was trying to correct S. as the

latter went on reading. So I ran up to my room and brought my

copy of the same book and gave it to Bhagavan, so that it would

be easier for him to follow S. and correct him. Bhagavan said,

“No. It is impossible to correct him. He makes so many mistakes.”

Thereupon I offered to help S. and the reading went on for some

time. In the course of this reading I found out how much it goes

199

against Bhagavan’s grain if poems are not read out according to

‘ºo’ (prosodic feet) and in the proper way in which each kind of

verse is to be read, or if mistakes are made. After some time S.

himself thought he would stop reading and did so.

Nagamma returned the Telugu journal Bharati and

Bhagavan asked me if I had read Chinta Dikshitulu’s Asal Neevu

Evaru (In reality who are you?) which appeared in that journal.

I said, “Yes”. Bhagavan suggested that an English translation

of it might be useful. I was under the impression that Mauni

had already translated it into English. For, I remembered that

Balaram in the hall translated ‘Asal’ as ‘In reality’ and that later

Mauni translated it as ‘In the first instance’ and I preferred the

latter. So I ran up to Mauni and asked if he had not made an

English translation. He said he had only translated the title of

the article. So, I told Bhagavan I would myself translate it.

Meanwhile, we requested Viswanath to translate it into Tamil

with the help of Subba Rao.

15-4-46 Morning

About 8 a.m. Nagamma came into the hall and prostrated

herself before Bhagavan, after having gone round the hall a

few times. Bhagavan said, “Ah! you too have started going

round. Have you learnt it from Ravanamma? She used to go

round and round, till I spoke to her about it the other day. If

one goes round like that, everybody who comes here thinks

‘Apparently the proper thing here is to go round’ and starts

going round. Thus all people go round. After all, the proper

pradakshina is going round the Self, or, more accurately, to

realise that we are the Self and that within us all the countless

spheres revolve, going round and round, as described in the

following stanza of Ribhu Gita (3rd Chapter, 39th Verse).

éWQYô SkRôuUô YLùUu ù\iQp

×Lr×hTôg N-VôÏ USkR úLô¥

200

Lô¬VUôm ©WUôiP ùUu² PjúR

Lt©RUônf ÑZÛùU]k §Vô]k Rôú]

úSWÕYôn YXmYWXô ùUuß ùUu{

¨¡XÚúU Yk§lTôo Sôù]l úTôÕ

UôûWÙúU Yk§dúL ù]uàk §Vô]

UôuUULô -eLj§{ YQeLXôúU.

An English translation of this stanza is as follows:

Reflecting “I am the all-blissful Self”

Is worship as with words and flowers.

True circumambulation is the thought,

“In me the million universes roll”,

He who knows all beings bow to him

And he to none,

He bows before the Mahalinga-Self.

“Some go on doing a number of namaskarams, e.g. that

Janaki, she goes on striking her head down countless times

along with namaskarams. She goes round a number of times.

At each window she falls down and does a number of

namaskarams. However much I tell her, she won’t leave off

such practices.” Somebody here interjected, “It seems she is

known to Bhagavan since her childhood.” Bhagavan said,

“Yes, yes,” and continued, “There are others who come and

fall before me while I am moving. They lie prostrate for some

minutes. I cannot stand for them on account of my physical

infirmity. So I walk on, telling myself, ‘Only if we do

namaskarams we will be benefited. After all, true namaskaram

is only the giving up the ‘I’-sense, or killing the ego’.”

I said, “Bhagavan himself advises us to go round the Hill,

for instance. I know Bhagavan is also not against going round

the image in a temple. There are people here who have the faith

that going round Bhagavan is as good as going round the

temple-image or the Hill. How can we object to that?” Bhagavan

said, “I don’t say such things should not be done. But the best

201

going round is going round yourself, or the bhava expressed in

the verse quoted. The other pradakshinams are not condemned.

The jnani, though he knows that meditation on the Self is the

best worship, will join in all the other kinds of worship for the

good of others and as an example to them. In fact, he may observe

all the other ways even more correctly and steadfastly than those

who follow only those paths and know nothing of jnana. That is

referred to in the following verse, also occurring in Ribhu Gita.

RkûRØRu UWQj§t TkÕ ®u±j

R[oR]Vu ±W®VúU RkR ûZjÕ

YkRN] UÝ¡u\ ¿§ Vuúöu

YZeÏR]l ùTôÚhPu± ÙiûU Vuú\

VkR®R Uô£¬Vu ºP àd¡e

LjÕ®Rm ×LÛeLôt ßR®R úUôRp;

ûUkR®§ ~Vª~ VRöt ùøtR

U\kùRuß UjÕ®R Y¥úY VôYôn.

The gist is, “If the Guru refers to dvaita when teaching

advaita to the disciple, it is not to be regarded as his real

teaching any more than one should regard as real the grief of

one who weeps because he is paid to do so.”

When Bhagavan quoted the first verse above extracted, I

went and brought the book for his reference. He took it in his

hand and opened it. The book opened exactly where the passage

is found. Such a thing has happened many others times too.

In the afternoon I was reading a recent issue of Prabuddha

Bharata. There I found that one disciple asked Shivananda, a

direct disciple of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, “It is said

Paramahamsa once said, ‘Those who have come here will have

no more births.’ Did you hear him say so? What does it mean?

Will only those who came to him and saw in the flesh and

worshipped him be saved, or even those who have only heard

about him and worshipped him?” It is said Shivananda replied,

“The above remark of Paramahamsa is found in all the books,

202

and it means that both classes of people will be saved, provided

however they have surrendered unto him.”

I pointed out, “All that Paramahamsa said was, ‘Those who

have come here will have salvation.’ Why do these people make

this addition, ‘provided they surrender unto him?’ If a man makes

complete surrender to God, Self or Guru he is of course saved.

That is well known. To a man who is able to make complete

surrender, sat sang is superfluous.” Bhagavan said, “When

Paramahamsa said ‘People who come here’ the words really imply

‘People who have come and surrendered themselves here’.” I

said, “If he meant it, would he not have said so? I believe there

are people, to approach whom, is to obtain salvation, whether

we are able to surrender completely or not. Did not all the crowd

that went to attend Saint Sambandar’s marriage, including the

pipers and drummers, get salvation? The drummer and piper had

no idea of making complete surrender.” Bhagavan remained silent.

Then he said, “It is said Sundarar got a vimana and went to heaven

and that he invited others to join him, but that none came forward.

But in Tukaram’s life it is said that he went to heaven with his

body and that he took twenty-one people with him.” To look up

this last reference, I brought Bhakta Vijayam in Tamil and

Bhagavan read how Tukaram, before going to heaven with his

body, invited everyone to go with him and, after seven days, he

went with twenty-two people to Heaven.

In this connection, I told Bhagavan, “It has come down as

a sort of tradition, and I have also heard it said, that Bhagavan

once told some disciples that those who are here (i.e., with

Bhagavan) need not worry about their salvation, even as upper

class passengers, having informed the guard, may quietly go to

sleep in their berths and will be awakened and detrained at

their destination by the guard. I have not been able to find out

when, where and to whom Bhagavan said words to the above

effect.” Bhagavan said nothing in reply. But so far as I am

concerned, the fact that he did not deny it in words or by facial

203

expression is enough to convince me that Bhagavan must have,

in some unguarded moment, uttered these words (of great hope

to lazy men like me).

16-4-46

In the evening, after parayana, Muruganar brought a Tamil

book and gave it to Bhagavan saying that the author had sent

two copies of the book through Padananda. Thereupon

Bhagavan asked M., “When did Padananda arrive?” and he

replied, “Last night”. On enquiry, Muruganar told me it was a

book by Tiruttani Chengalroya Pillai, comparing the two famous

poet-saints Tirumoolar and Arunagirinathar. Bhagavan said, “It

is a short book and can be read out now either by you or

Viswanath.” V. was sitting in the front row before Bhagavan. I

looked at all the rows behind, standing near the first row, and

told Bhagavan, “V. is not here.” Then Bhagavan showed V. to

me and laughed saying, “Why, he is here.” I said, “Then, let us

ask him to read it. I have not got my glasses with me.” Bhagavan

remarked, “I see that is why you could not see Viswanathan.”

Then V. read out the pamphlet and we all heard it. Some Telugu

visitor got up and requested Bhagavan that the matter should

be translated or summarised in Telugu. But such translation

seemed neither necessary nor feasible. The book did not strike

any of us as worth all the trouble it must doubtless have entailed.

17-4-46

Yesterday morning itself, Viswanathan had given to

Bhagavan a Tamil rendering of Asal, Neevu Evaru, Ramana

Bhagavan? Bhagavan asked me yesterday afternoon if I had done

the English translation. I had to say ‘No’. So I sat down last night

and revised the English translation which one Mr. Sitarama Rao

had done for us and left with me. I fair-copied the revised draft

and gave it to Bhagavan at 10-30 a.m. today. Soon after he began

to peruse it, the second tapal arrived and he had to attend to it.

After finishing it, though it was then five minutes to eleven,

204

Bhagavan took up the English translation for perusal and went

on with it till the bell rang for lunch at 11 a.m.

Afternoon

Bhagavan continued reading the English translation and

finished it after suggesting about half a dozen corrections.

18-4-46 Afternoon

Mr. Nanavati of Bombay asked Bhagavan, “In the fifth

stanza of Arunachala Pancharatna reference is made to seeing

‘Your form in everything’. What is the form referred to?”

Bhagavan said, “The stanza says that one should completely

surrender one’s mind, turn it inwards and see ‘you’ the Self

within and then see the Self in ‘you’ in everything. It is only

after seeing the Self within that one will be able to see the Self

in everything. One must first realise there is nothing but the

Self and that he is that Self, and then only he can see everything

as the form of the Self. That is the meaning of saying, ‘See the

Self in everything and everything in the Self’, as is stated in the

Gita and other books. It is the same truth that is taught in stanza

4 of the Reality in Forty Verses. If you have the idea that you

are something with form, that you are limited by this body, and

that being within this body you have to see through these eyes,

God and the world also will appear to you as form. If you realise

you are without form, that you are unlimited, that you alone

exist, that you are the eye, the infinite eye, what is there to be

seen apart from the infinite eye? Apart from the eye, there is

nothing to be seen. There must be a seer for an object to be

seen, and there must be space, time, etc. But if the Self alone

exists, it is both seer and seen, and above seeing or being seen.”

19-4-46 Morning

After Krishnaswami had been massaging for seven or

eight minutes, Bhagavan said, “You have been massaging me.

205

It seemed to me as if I was not being massaged.” And turning

to me, he said, “Sometimes, when they are not massaging

me, I feel as if I was being massaged. What to say?”

Somasundaram Pillai of Cuddalore returned after a visit to

Tiruchuzhi, Madura, and other places, and was telling Bhagavan

that the day he was at Madura it happened to be Punarvasu

Nakshatra, and that devotees gathered in the Ramana Mandiram

there, had bhajan, etc., and that there was milk and vadai for

naivedyam which was afterwards distributed to all those who

were present at the function. Just as he was saying this,

Santhamma entered the hall, with milk for naivedyam and

distribution, because she had just entered her new house.

Bhagavan said, “You say milk was offered as naivedyam, and

distributed to you. Here comes milk for the same purpose.” S.

continued to tell Bhagavan about his trip and Bhagavan asked,

“Did you enquire in Tiruchuzhi, whether on Masi Makam, which

was only a little before you went there, water rose in the temple

tank as it used to do in my boyhood?” S. replied, “No. I took it

for granted that even now the water rises and so did not make

any enquiries.” Then Bhagavan said that the water of the temple

tank is reputed to cure many skin diseases and added, “That is

certain. We have seen as boys that when we bathed in the tank

our silver bangles all turned black, and we had to rub them well

with mud before going back home, lest our parents should blame

us for bathing in the tank. The water contains sulphur.”

20-4-46 Afternoon

A Muslim visitor put some questions and got the

following answers:

Question: This body dies. But there is another

imperishable body. What is it?

Answer: ‘Imperishable body’ is a contradiction in terms.

The term sariram means that which will perish. Of course,

206

there is something imperishable, something which exists even

after the body dies.

Question: It is said the Lord’s light resides in the eye.

Answer: The eye does not see. That which gives light to it

is the reality, whether we call it Lord’s light or anything else.

Question: The Lord has created all this, has He not? What

was created first? It is said light or sound was created first.

Answer: All these things, which you say have been created

have to be seen by you before you say they exist. There must

be a seer. If you find out who that seer is, then you will know

about creation and which was created first. Of course various

theories as to what came into existence first from God are given

out. Most, including scientists, agree that all has come from

light and sound.

Question: Can we call anything created, like this piece of

wood, for example, God? It is said it is very wrong to do so.

Answer: Even this piece of wood, does it exist apart from

God? Can we confine God to any time or place, since He is

everywhere and in everything? We should not see anything as

apart from God. That is all.

22-4-46 Afternoon

Nagamma told Bhagavan the two latest poems in Telugu

by Naganariya Skandasrama Santarsanam and Ghooha jnani

had not yet been read out in the hall and that Athai (i.e.,

Bhagavan’s sister) and others wanted to hear them, and took

permission from Bhagavan and read out the same.

Later, Mr. Rajagopala Sarma, Sanskrit Pandit in Maharajah’s

College at Pudukottah, came and introduced himself to Bhagavan,

saying that he was well known to our Lakshmana Sarma, and

that, though he had often heard about Bhagavan, he had got the

207

privilege of seeing Bhagavan only now, for the first time. Then

he read out three slokas composed by him in praise of Bhagavan,

and also explained the same to us in Tamil. In these slokas the

Pandit compares Bhagavan to the moon but finds him superior

in some respect. Here is a gist of the slokas: “Like the moon, you

bring coolness and pleasantness to all. If there is a difference

between you and the moon, it is in your favour. The moon brings

sorrow to separated lovers. But you give pleasure to all without

exception by your kind grace. The moon has its dark fortnight.

But you are ever shining.

“The moon is eagerly awaited by the chakora bird which

feeds on the nectar flowing from the moon. So are all the

bhaktas gathered here, eagerly awaiting, and being benefited

by the nectar of your presence and speech.

“The flower kuvalaya blossoms on the moon rising. The

hearts of the entire kuvalaya (the world), or the hearts of all

men, blossom on seeing you.

“Moonlight disperses the gloom of the night which hides

the objects in the world. Thy light dispels the darkness of

ajnana which hides the reality from us.

“The moon is worn by Siva on the crown of His head.

All creation or Brahma bears you on His head.

“The moon was born in the Milky Ocean. You are born

in the ocean of Vedanta.”

24-4-46 Afternoon

When Chinta Dikshitulu’s Ramana Gopalan first came

here, Mr. D.S. Sastri sent us an English translation of the

article. It was read out before Bhagavan and we thought at

the time a few corrections were needed. Mauni took the

translation for the above correction. But it seems to have

lain long with him, without being attended to. So, Nagamma

208

brought it back three or four days ago and gave it to me and

asked me to do the revision. Bhagavan asked me this

afternoon if I had finished the work. I replied, “I had the

Telugu read out to me by Nagamma only last evening and

started writing the revised translation this morning. When I

came to the sentence in which thaga, thaga occurs I wanted

to see how our Viswanath had rendered it in Tamil. I got the

Tamil rendering only at 11 a.m. I am going on with the work

and shall finish it soon.” Then we discussed the words mutte,

thaga thaga, eppatiki appudu, etc., occurring in the original

article. I finished the revision and gave it to Bhagavan. He

asked me to keep it along with the other translations. I gave

them to Nagamma and requested her to bind all together for

future reference. Nagamma asked Bhagavan for the three

slokas in Sanskrit by the Pudukottah Pandit and offered to

write them down in the stotra notebook. We found they had

already been copied by Viswanath. Bhagavan took up the

slokas and read them out. I took advantage of this, to read my

summary of the first of these slokas as given in this diary and

see if Bhagavan thought it fairly correct. Bhagavan gave me

the compliment of remarking, “How did you manage to

remember all this and write them down in your notebook?” I

had omitted reference in my account to Bhagavan having been

born in the ocean of Vedanta, while the moon was born in the

milky ocean. During this reading I added this also.

While I was at Nagamma’s place on the 23rd evening, to

get the Telugu Ramana Gopalan read out to me, she said in the

course of conversation, “You are filling up book after book. But

I have written only little.” (This was with reference to accounts

of significant utterances by Bhagavan about which she has been

writing letters regularly to her brother at Madras, and keeping

copies herself). I told Bhagavan now, “Nagamma says I am

writing all sorts of rubbish and filling up book after book; and

that she will record only important events or statements.”

209

This I said somewhat in jest. Poor Nagamma came out

“Can you utter lies like these, even in Bhagavan’s presence?”

I replied laughing, “They are not exactly lies.”

Evening

Throughout the day the Sarvadhikari has been inviting

all bhaktas to have a look at a clay model of Bhagavan which

the Madras sculptor engaged to make Bhagavan’s statue,

has prepared here. After parayana, Mr. Narayanaswami Iyer,

retired drawing master, came to Bhagavan and expressed

his opinion that the model was not satisfactory. He wanted

Bhagavan’s opinion. Bhagavan only said, “Don’t ask me.

How can one know one’s own face? How can I judge this

clay model?” Poor N. Iyer was disappointed. Bhagavan

added after a while, “Each person has a different opinion.

Rangaswami says the nose is too big, and the sculptor

actually measures it and shows it is correct. But R. says, the

nose looks too big. What are we to do? Supposing someone

produces the most exact possible resemblance, I wonder

whether even then if all those who look at the result will

give the same unanimous verdict.”

Mr. N. Iyer again came when we were all starting with

Bhagavan for the night meal, and pleaded that he must give

his opinion to please his bhaktas. He said he would produce

two big mirrors and that Bhagavan could first study his own

face standing between the two mirrors and then judge the

clay model and give his frank opinion. Bhagavan stoutly

refused to do any such thing.

25-4-46 Morning

When Bhagavan returned from his stroll about 7-30

a.m. and entered the hall, he said, “As I was getting up

the steps to get into the Asramam compound I was saying,

‘How is it Dr. T.N.K. has not arrived? If he came by the

210

morning train, he should have arrived by now.’ Before I closed

my mouth, I find T.N.K. before me. I wonder if it was his

being here that made me think of him. I think of him and

there he is before me.” Then Bhagavan told T.N.K., “It must

have been a great inconvenience for you to rush up like this

now. These people wouldn’t listen to me. They wired to you.

They wired to the sthapati. The sthapati replied he could not

come now. They have now sent a man to fetch him. I don’t

know if the sthapati is going to come after all. All this is quite

unnecessary. But they won’t heed me.”

When discussing some days ago the meaning of dakshina

parsam occurring in Asal Neevu Evaru, Bhagavan wanted to

know if the image of Dakshinamurti in the Madras museum

has its head turned to the right, looking at the heart-centre there.

Bhagavan then remarked, “If we write to Dr. T.N.K., he will at

once take a photo of the image and send it.” Nagamma reminded

Bhagavan of this in the hall this morning, soon after Dr. T.N.K.

left the hall. So, soon after, I brought Dr. T.N.K. again into the

hall and Bhagavan asked him to take and send a photo of the

image or images of Dakshinamurti in the museum. Bhagavan

also enquired if the museum authorities would object. Dr. T.N.K.

replied they would not, and that they might even have photos

of the image or images already with them. He also wanted to

have for reference with him, the sentence in the article describing

the image of Dakshinamurti. So I gave him the extract, with a

translation in Tamil.

A visitor asked Bhagavan, “When I try to be without all

thoughts, I pass into sleep. What should I do about it?”

Bhagavan: Once you go to sleep, you can do nothing in

that state. But while you are awake, try to keep away all

thoughts. Why think about sleep? Even that is a thought, is it

not? If you are able to be without any thought while you are

awake, that is enough. When you pass into sleep, that state, in

211

which you were before falling asleep, will continue and again,

when you wake up, you will continue from where you had

left off when you fell into slumber. So long as there are

thoughts of activity, so long would there be sleep also. Thought

and sleep are counterparts of one and the same thing.

Bhagavan quoted the Gita and said, “We should not sleep

very much or go without it altogether, but sleep only moderately.

To prevent too much sleep, we must try and have no thoughts

or chalana (movement of the mind), we must eat only sattvic

food and that only in moderate measure, and not indulge in too

much physical activity. The more we control thought, activity

and food the more shall we be able to control sleep. But

moderation ought to be the rule, as explained in the Gita, for

the sadhak on the path. Sleep is the first obstacle, as explained

in the books, for all sadhaks. The second obstacle is said to be

vikshepa or the sense objects of the world which divert one’s

attention. The third is said to be kashaya or thoughts in the

mind about previous experiences with sense objects. The fourth,

ananda, is also called an obstacle, because in that state a feeling

of separation from the source of ananda, enabling the enjoyer

to say ‘I am enjoying ananda’ is present. Even this has to be

surmounted and the final stage of samadhana or samadhi has

to be reached, where one becomes ananda or one with the reality

and the duality of enjoyer and enjoyment ceases in the ocean

of sat-chit-ananda or the Self.”

26-4-46 Morning

Bhagavan asked me if I had seen Colombo

Ramachandra’s letter received by the Asramam yesterday. I

said, “No.” Thereupon he told me, “R. has written enclosing

Gunaratna’s letter. He says that this is the first time any saint’s

life is written in the Sinhalese language. It seems, if they try

to bring out the book in time for the Jubilee occasion here, it

may have to be greatly abridged. I don’t know what they are

212

going to do. The Ashtakam, which R. wrote when here, has

also been given for publication, and he will be getting the

printed copies in a day or two.”

I told Bhagavan, “Yes. Even when here, R. already sent it

to the press, while he had written only five of the poems. He

wanted it as a folder with Bhagavan’s picture on the first page.

But he had asked me not to mention it to Bhagavan just then.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Somasundaram Pillai said that in R.’s

letter it is stated that the Ramakrishna Mission, after coming

to know of what we have done about the Tiruchuzhi house,

are taking steps to secure the house where the Paramahamsa

was born, and make it a place of pilgrimage and worship.

Then Bhagavan said, “The bhattar at Tiruchuzhi might have

been expecting Ramachandra at Tiruchuzhi on his way back from

here to Colombo. Does he know of R. having gone back?”

Somasundaram Pillai: I told him all about R. and how I

had to escort him as far as Dhanushkodi.

Bhagavan: It seems the bhattar has been invited to

Vadapuri to attend some special function there, in celebration

of Saint Manikkavachagar.

Then we began talking of Vadavoor, which Bhagavan

said was only about twenty miles from Madura, and also of

Perundurai; there is much controversy among research

scholars whether Perundurai of Tiruvachakam is the place

called Avudayarkoil where there is a temple, and a tradition

that Saint Manikkavachakar built it, or whether it is some

place farther west. Bhagavan said, “All sorts of theories are

put forward, with ingenious and far-fetched arguments both

for and against.”

Later, the Mauni wanted for reference the poems composed

and left here by Dilip Kumar Roy of Aurobindo Ashram, when

he was here last, and also the poem by Mr. Chadwick in which

213

he had addressed Bhagavan, “You will not let me go.” I searched

in the files and could get only D.K. Roy’s. Then I got from Mr.

Chadwick a copy of his poems which, we found, had been

composed in 1941. I gave both Roy’s and Chadwick’s poems to

Mauni.

Evening

After parayana, when the monkeys were getting their usual

parting gifts of fruit of the day, Bhagavan recounted his old

experiences with monkeys at Skandasramam, and how his

favourite Nondippaiyan (the lame one) hurt him twice. After

the monkeys were supplied, there was one plantain left, and

Bhagavan said “Give it to these children” pointing to four of

them who were there and adding, “these are tail-less monkeys.”

27-4-46 Morning

The priest of a temple at Dwaraka, returning from

Aurobindo’s Ashram, visited Bhagavan and asked him in Sanskrit,

“I wish to get sakshatkara of Sri Krishna. What should I do to

get it?” This question was put while Bhagavan was reading a

rather long letter from Lt. Shroff, which his wife had brought.

The letter closed with the sentiment: “Do what you will to me.

Send me health or sickness, riches or poverty.” Bhagavan said

with reference to the priest’s question, “I did not want to disturb

his faith, but wanted to tell him ‘Just leave it to Sri Krishna, —

even this sakshatkara of Krishna.’ And this letter of Shroff

contains the same thing.”

After saying this, Bhagavan added, “What is your idea

of Sri Krishna and what do you mean by sakshatkara?” On

this, the priest replied, “I mean the Sri Krishna who lived in

Brindavan and I want to see him as the Gopis saw him.”

Bhagavan replied, “You see, you think he is a human

being or one with a human form, the son of so and so, etc.,

whereas he himself has said, ‘I am in the Heart of all beings,

214

I am the beginning, the middle and the end of all forms of

life.’ He must be within you, as within all. He is your Atman

or the atman of your Atman. So if you see this entity or have

sakshatkara of it, you will have sakshatkara of Krishna. Atma

Sakshatkara and sakshatkara of Krishna cannot be different.

However, to go your own way, surrender completely to Krishna

and leave it to Him to grant the sakshatkara you want.”

29-4-46 Afternoon

Mr Nanavati asked Bhagavan, “What is the heart referred

to in the verse in Upadesa Saram where it is said ‘Abiding in

the heart is the best karma, yoga, bhakti and jnana’?”

Bhagavan: That which is the source of all, that in which all

live, and that into which all finally merge, is the heart referred to.

Nanavati: How can we conceive of such a heart?

Bhagavan: Why should you conceive of anything? You

have only to see wherefrom the ‘I’ springs.

Nanavati: I suppose mere mauna in speech is no good;

but we must have mauna of the mind.

Bhagavan: Of course. If we have real mauna, that state

in which the mind is merged into its source and has no more

separate existence, then all other kinds of mauna will come

of their own accord, i.e., the mauna of words, of action and of

the mind or chitta.

Bhagavan also quoted in this connection, the following

from Thayumanavar.

“£jR UÜ]g ùNVpYôd ùLXôUÜ]g

ÑjR UÜ]ùUuTôp úRôu±t TWôTWúU”

[If I get pure mauna (quiescence), I shall have mauna of

chitta, mind, word and deed]. Bhagavan added, “Such mauna

is not inertness but great activity. It is the most powerful speech.”

215

Mr. Ramasubba Iyer was taking out a book from the

Asramam Library. Bhagavan asked him what book it was. He

said he was taking a copy of Nannool, because he wanted to

learn ‘Vôl©Vp’ or prosody. Bhagavan thereupon advised him

to take another book dealing with prosody called

‘Vôl©XdLQm’ or, ‘@¦«XdLQm’, as Nannool gives only

a brief treatment of prosody. Bhagavan then fell into a discourse

on various metres and told us something about Tamil prosody

and how there are six parts in Tamil poetry — FÝjÕ, @ûN,

ºo, R}, @¥ & ùRôûP. Bhagavan continued, “Venba is very

difficult to make, even more difficult than the arya vrittams in

Sanskrit, as Kavyakantha himself had to admit once to me. Venba

is described as a ‘tiger’ even to pandits. It will overcome even

great poets. Of course, all this is only spoiling one’s peace of

mind. When great effort is put forth to do all sorts of literary

gymnastics, what is the result but loss of peace of mind?

Sometimes, the first ‘ºo’ in all the four lines will appear to be

the same word or words. But, when with great skill the words

are split up differently in each line, the meanings would be found

to be different.” From this the talk drifted to how by training the

mind people achieve such wonderful things as satavadhana

(attending to a hundred things at the same time) and Bhagavan

described how Nayana (Kavyakantha Ganapati Sastri) used to

do satavadhana in Bhagavan’s presence, how it was really

wonderful, how Nayana used to say that, what he was exhibiting

was only a thousandth part of the powers of memory and mind

he had developed, and how Nayana once composed three hundred

stanzas of his Uma Sahasram between eight and twelve one night

dictating different chapters to different writers at the same time.

2-5-46 Morning

A visitor asked, “I have been visiting various shrines in

a pilgrimage, and worshipping various images. What exactly

is God’s true form?”

216

Bhagavan: The only thing to know is that there is an

entity who is in all these forms, but who is not these forms.

We see the One in the many. We see the One as many, the

Formless in the forms.

In the afternoon, T.P.R. asked Bhagavan where the EokÕ

Ï¥fNôu Ñ{ (the name of a spring) is on the Hill and

Bhagavan described the locality and said it was first shown to

him by a woodcutter. Bhagavan continued, “In those days I

used to go all by myself. For answering calls of nature I used to

stroll along, taking no water with me, but going wherever water

may be available. It was on one such occasion, on one morning,

that I came across the banyan tree of which I have spoken often.

“As I was walking in the bed of a hill-stream, I saw a big

banyan tree on a boulder, with big leaves, and crossing the

stream I wanted to get to the other bund and view from there

this big tree. When I accidentally put my left foot near a bush

on the way to the other bank, the hornets clustered round my

left leg up to the knee and went on stinging. They never did

anything to my right leg. I left the left leg there for some time,

so that the hornets could inflict full punishment on the leg which

had encroached on their domain. After a time, the hornets

withdrew and I walked on. The leg got swollen very much and

I walked with difficulty and reached ‘Ezhu Sunai’ (Seven

Springs) about 2 a.m., and Jadaswami, who was camping there

then, gave me some buttermilk mixed with jaggery which was

all that he could provide by way of food. This is what actually

happened. But afterwards, people have gone and written that I

had purposely set out to explore and find out the banyan tree

described in the purana as the one on the northern peak of the

Hill, where Arunachala is said to be residing as a siddha. I

never had any such idea. When I saw for the first time a

remarkable banyan tree on a huge and precipitous boulder, I

was prompted by curiosity to have a look at it. Meanwhile, the

hornets stung me and I forgot all about the tree.”

217

In the afternoon, an European walked into the hall, sat in

a corner and walked away after a few minutes. Bhagavan turned

to me and asked me if I didn’t know him. I told Bhagavan I had

seen him here before, but I had forgotten his name. He is a

friend of Mr. McIver. Bhagavan said, “His name is Evelyn. His

wife — don’t you know he married that Parsi girl who used to

come and stay with Mrs. Taleyarkhan — has written to

Viswanathan to look after her husband, saying he had come

out of the hospital and that he is better now.”

5-5-46 Afternoon

Mr. Kasturi Chetti brought news that Ganapati Sastri had

passed away that morning, and that hernia was the cause.

Talking about G. Sastri, Bhagavan said he was a great friend

of Grant Duff, that he was a great lover of books, and that he

would promptly buy (not necessarily read) all good books

that came out and keep them in his library.

Bhagavan said, “Some rare books, which could not be

got elsewhere, were available with him.” Mr. T.P.R. said

Bhagavan was once waylaid and taken to G.’s house to see

the library he had collected. Bhagavan said, “It was he who

got the Ramana Gita written in Nagari characters. Nayana

wrote it down in Telugu characters.”

Evening

About two days ago, four books in French were received

from Swami Siddheswarananda in Paris. In the letter the Swami

wrote, “I hope the French devotee Mrs. Sen is still there. I meet

her friends here. If she is there, she may be able to tell Bhagavan

about the references in those books to Bhagavan.” So Bhagavan

asked me to give those books to Mrs. Sen for perusal. This evening

she came and said, “In these books reference is made to Bhagavan

as a perfect sthita prajna, though some other words in French

218

are used for sthita prajna.” Thereupon, Bhagavan read out to her

the verses in Vivekachudamani (from the English translation)

which describes a sthita prajna. Bhagavan also told us how the

Bhagavad Gita describes the same man as sthita prajna in Chapter

II, later on in dealing with bhakti, as bhagavat bhakta, later still

as gunatita (or beyond gunas). This Bhagavan said when I read

in Vivekachudamani the verses that follow those that describe a

sthita prajna. These deal with the jivanmukta (one liberated while

yet alive). A sthita prajna is described as one who has attained

steady illumination in Vivekachudamani. I asked Bhagavan if

these terms were not intended to denote the same class. It was

then that Bhagavan referred to the Gita passages.

5-5-46

In answer to a visitor, Bhagavan said, “Find out to whom

is Viyoga. That is yoga. Yoga is common to all paths. Yoga is

really nothing but ceasing to think that you are different from

the Self or Reality. All the yogas — karma, jnana, bhakti and

raja — are just different paths to suit different natures with

different modes of evolution and to get them out of the long

cherished notion that they are different from the Self. There is

no question of union or yoga in the sense of going and joining

something that is somewhere away from us or different from

us, because you never were or could be separate from the Self.”

In the afternoon I showed Bhagavan the passage in

today’s Sunday Times where Dr. T.M.P. Mahadevan, in his

radio talk, quotes Sri Shankara’s reference to his own

experience as proof of the existence of the jivanmukta and

about the controversies concerning various kinds of mukti.

He read out passages from a Tamil book called @jûYR

DiûU (The Truth of Advaita) in which all doubts about the

state of the jivanmukta are raised and answered. Then he said:

“Various illustrations are given in books to enable us to

understand how the jnani can live and act without the mind,

although living and acting require the use of the mind. The

potter’s wheel goes on turning round even after the potter has

ceased to turn it because the pot is finished. In the same way,

the electric fan goes on revolving for some minutes after we

switch off the current. The prarabdha which created the body

will make it go through whatever activities it was meant for.

But the jnani goes through all these activities without the notion

that he is the doer of them. It is hard to understand how this is

possible. The illustration generally given is that the jnani

performs actions in some such way as a child that is roused

from sleep to eat, eats but does not remember next morning

that it ate. It has to be remembered that all these explanations

are not for the jnani. He knows and has no doubts. He knows

that he is not the body and is not doing anything even though

his body may be engaged in some activity. These explanations

are for the onlookers who think of the jnani as one with a body

and cannot help identifying him with his body.

(Continued  ...)




(My humble salutations to the lotus feet of Bhagavan Sree Ramana Maharshi
and also gratitude to great philosophers and others     for the collection)