Ramana Maharshi -Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma -7

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam,

 by Suri Nagamma

 

 

 

(236) THE BANYAN TREE

  10th April, 1949
In the third edition of the Ramana Leela, which is just
out, several matters which were in the earlier editions have
been omitted and some were added. Bhagavan looked into
the book and said that there were some factual errors. I told
Krishna Bhikshu about it and suggested that he should get
them corrected in Bhagavan’s presence, so that the
corrections could be incorporated in the next edition. He
had come here for the Kumbhabhishekam and was here till
recently. On the 29th ultimo he obtained the permission from
the office to read the book in Bhagavan’s presence and make
the required corrections. Accordingly he began to read it
from 2-30 p.m. on the 31st ultimo. As Bhagavan was giving
him instructions about the various corrections to be made
and was incidentally narrating several incidents, only half
the work could be completed by the 2nd instant. The tumour
that had grown on Bhagavan’s arm was operated on the 3rd
instant, and so the reading of the book was stopped that day.

The doctors and the Ashram authorities permitted the
reading of the book on the 3rd day and so it was resumed
and completed in two days. Krishna Bhikshu left this place
afterwards.
Even though he had left, discussions relating to the book
were continued subsequently in Bhagavan’s presence.
Yesterday afternoon a devotee said that between the Telugu
and the English versions of the biography there were several
discrepancies. Bhagavan remarked, “Yes, that is so. Krishna
Bhikshu has made several alterations as he has been coming
here every now and then and checking up. Narasimhayya,
who had written the English version and Suddhananda
Bharati, who had written the Tamil version, have not come
here since writing them.”
I said, “The incident regarding the bees and the banyan
leaf has been written in ‘Ramana Leela’ differently. I
remember Bhagavan telling us that he had gone up the hill
only after seeing the leaf and it was only then that the insects
stung him.”
“Yes, yes. One morning unintentionally I came down
the hill from the Virupaksha Cave and was going round the
hill, when it occurred to me that I should go up the hill by a
short cut between Panchamukha Temple and Pachiamman
Temple. It was all a big forest. While I was feeling my way, a
big banyan leaf drifted across my path. That one leaf was as
big as the leaf we stitch together with several banyan leaves
to eat food on. When I saw that leaf I was reminded of the
sloka in the Arunachala Puranam where there was a description
of the banyan tree under which Arunagiri Yogi was living.”
“What is that sloka?” asked one devotee. Bhagavan
thereupon recited it as follows:
ASTyuÄreiSmn! izore †Zyte vqÉUéh>,
isÏve;SsdEvaSte ySy mUle mheñr>.
ySyCDayait mhtI svRda m{flak«it>,
lúyte ivSmyaepÇE> svRda dev manvE>.
On the northern peak of the hill there is seen a banyan
tree where the great Lord in the form of a Siddha eternally
sits. The immense shade of the tree constitutes a charmed
circle of immortality. Its expanses of foliage represents the
entire universe, including men and gods.
“As soon as I was reminded of that sloka, I thought that
that leaf must be from that banyan tree and so felt that I
could see that tree if I went along the direction from which
the leaf came. I started climbing up farther and soon saw a
tree on an elevated spot. As I was going along to it, my thigh
hit against a bush. On account of the disturbance, the bees
in the bush came out and began stinging me. I thereupon
thought that I had committed an offence and that that was
the punishment. So thinking, I stood still. The bees did not
sting me at any other place than the one that touched the
bush. They bit me to their fullest satisfaction. After they left
me, I began walking. Curiously enough I forgot all about
the banyan tree and wanted to reach the place of the seven
springs. But there were three big streams in between which
were very deep. The thigh too had swollen and was paining.
I somehow crossed the three streams, and reached the seven
springs. From there I began to descend the hill and reached
the cave of Jataswami by the evening. Till then I had no
food, nothing whatsoever. There they gave me a tumblerful
of milk which I drank and then took a little fruit. After some
time I went to the Virupaksha Cave and stayed there for
that night. The leg got still more swollen. Jataswami and
others did not notice it, but Palalniswami saw it and said,
‘What is it?’ and I told him all that had happened. Next day,
he applied some gingelly oil to it. When he smeared it with
the oil, he found that in every place I was stung there was a
spike as strong as a wire nail. With great effort he took out
every one of them and gave some treatment. The swelling
subsided after two or three days.”
“Did not Bhagavan make any effort afterwards to trace
the place where the banyan tree was?” I asked.
“No. That thought never came to my mind again,”
replied Bhagavan.
I said, “It seems that some time later, Venkatramayya,
Muruganar, Kunjuswami and others went in search of the
place and came back disappointed.”
“Yes, yes. That was a tamasha. You were also here at
that time and you have heard about it, haven’t you?”
questioned Bhagavan.
“I did hear about it but I do not know the details,” I
said.
“If that is so, you had better ask any one of them. They
would tell you. It would be good if the people who had
experienced those troubles told you about them,” said
Bhagavan.

(237) DEVOTEE’S DISCOMFITURE

Prev Next    12th April, 1949
After writing all that Bhagavan had said about the
banyan tree, I was wondering whom to ask amongst the
devotees that had gone out to locate the banyan tree, when
unexpectedly Kunjuswami came to see me this morning.

I told him all that had happened in Bhagavan’s presence
and said, “I don’t know why Bhagavan asked me to enquire
and find out from others the required details. Please let
me have them.” Taken by surprise he exclaimed, “Ayyo!
That (affair). Why ask? God alone knows what troubles
we experienced.” “That is why I want to hear them from
you,” I said. “All right. You hear me and write down what
I say. It will be a good lesson to others so that no one
would attempt to do such things in the future.” So saying
he related the incident as follows:
“It must have happened some five or six years ago. That
year quite a number of devotees came for Jayanti. The Jayanti
was celebrated as usual. After the bustle of the celebrations,
we all thought of visiting the summit of the Arunachala Hill.
About twenty-five of the devotees expressed their readiness
to start. So the previous night we informed Bhagavan about
our intention.
“While telling us about the route and the facilities
available, Bhagavan casually made a mention of the banyan
tree where Arunagiri Yogi lived and told us all in the same
way as he told you, about the stinging of the bees while he
was walking along that side. After hearing that, Munagala
Venkataramayya and myself felt very eager to see the place.
We didn’t, however, tell Bhagavan anything about it. After
we returned to Palakothu, Venkataramayya and myself
started for the journey. We conferred with Muruganar,
Kalyanasundaramayya, a European by name Thomas and
his friend, a Zamindar youth and two other new people,
without telling anything about the plan to the rest of the
party. We all started early taking with us the necessary food.
By morning we reached the side where there were steps
leading to the town. Our party of eight stopped there and
told the others that they should go ahead as one or two others
were yet to come. Sending them ahead on that pretext we
sneaked away from there and started climbing the hill by a
short cut on the side of Pachiamman Temple. The Zamindar
youth brought a camera as we wanted to take a photo of the
banyan tree and show it to Bhagavan. We climbed up and
up in search of the tree but could not locate it. We could not
even get up to the summit for that was not visible. Unable to
know whether to go up or down, we went round and round,
felt tired and ultimately got stuck at one place. Down below
there was a deep valley. There was no level ground even to
sit and there was nothing even to lean against. The scorching
sun was beating on us as it was 12 o’clock. Venkataramayya
suddenly began to have a palpitation of his heart and so lay
down on the grass. Muruganar could not be seen anywhere.
Wondering what had happened to him, we searched and
found him crawling up behind us. He had no strength left
even to walk. We were half dead and had no energy left
even to speak to one another. I began to feel worried and
anxious because we had done all this without telling
Bhagavan. How could I go to Bhagavan’s presence if
anything happened to any one of us? Instead of facing him,
I thought I would go straight up to northern India on a
pilgrimage, abstain from taking food and water, and thus
give up my life. I had never till then prayed to Bhagavan for
the fulfilment of any of my desires but on that occasion I
prayed to him from the depth of my heart to save all these
people from danger.
“Immediately thereafter the sound of someone
chopping wood was heard. Looking towards the side from
where the sound was coming, we saw a woodcutter a long
way off. As our voices would not reach him, one of us waved
his upper cloth indicating our presence to him. As one or
two in our group were wearing pants and coats he mistook
us for forest officers, and began to run away. Then I waved
our ochre robes which showed him that we were Ashramites
and assured him that he need not be afraid of us. Thereupon
he believed us and came to us. By that time, we had given
up all hopes of locating the banyan tree and so requested
him to take us either to the summit of the hill or to the seven
streams. He told us that there was no path to reach the
summit of the hill and that he could take us only to the
seven streams, but that there were three deep streams in
between which would be very difficult to cross. Even so, he
began taking us one by one by the hand and helped us to
cross the three streams. By the time he finished helping all
of us to cross the streams, and seated us on the other side we
were completely exhausted and unable to move. At that
stage, through Bhagavan’s grace, there was a slight drizzle.
That shower gave us great relief and we felt very much
refreshed. We could see from the seven streams the people
who had gone earlier up the hill. They could not see us.
After eating something, they began searching for us, worrying
themselves about our safety. Ultimately they caught sight of
us in our sorry plight. They shouted. We responded. The
wood cutter somehow managed to take us to them.
“We were a sight to see with our torn clothes and bruised
bodies. They first gave us fruit and then after finding out
what had happened and seeing the camera and the thermos
flask, remarked, ‘It does not matter if you have drunk all
the curd from the flask, but have you at least taken a photo
of the place?’ Only then did we realise that we had a camera.
We had completely forgotten its very existence.
“We rested for a while and then came down to the
Virupaksha Cave. As we felt we should not go to Bhagavan’s
presence in that untidy state, our group stayed on until sunset
and then came down. I went to Palakothu with the intention
of bathing and then going to Bhagavan. The Zamindar youth
and Venkataramayya however went straight to Bhagavan and
prostrated themselves before him from a distance. As they
were leaving the place, Bhagavan noted their dishevelled
condition and remarked to the devotees sitting near by him,
‘Look at them. See their condition. Something unexpected
appears to have happened.’
“At that moment I went there. As soon as I got up after
prostrating, Bhagavan asked me anxiously, ‘What happened?
From what I see of those two people they are in a frightful
state, with blood sprinkled all over their bodies and with
clothes torn.’ I related respectfully all that had happened.
Scolding me for what I had done Bhagavan said, ‘Is it proper
for you to do such things? If you had asked me beforehand,
I would have told you not to go. Is it not a wrong thing to
pry into the secret places where Mahatmas stay? Bees stung
me violently even though I stepped into that place
unintentionally. It never occurred to me afterwards to go
that way again. It was a mistake of mine to have told you at
all about those places.’ With folded hands and in a penitent
mood I said, ‘Bhagavan, it was a mistake. I used to feel curious
to see and investigate all the places whenever Bhagavan was
relating to us about the great and interesting things connected
with the hill. Now that desire has vanished. I have also been
suitably punished for going there without informing
Bhagavan. I shall never do such silly things hereafter.’ That
is how I sought Bhagavan’s pardon,” said Kunjuswami.

(238) AASURA VASANA

Prev Next    13th April, 1949
Sri Yogi Ramiah came here about a week back. Sitting
before Bhagavan this morning he said, “Bhagavan, some
people say ‘We have become Jnanis. We are in the Jeevanmukta
state.’ They do not, however, sit quietly even for a minute
but will always be wandering. How can they be Jeevanmuktas?”
“What of that?” said Bhagavan. “Are not Narada and
others Jeevanmuktas? What is wrong with the Jeevanmukta state
if one goes about the world? All things happen according to
one’s prarabdha.”
“That is not it, Bhagavan. People like Narada went
round the world singing celestial songs for the benefit of the
world after they became Jeevanmuktas. These people are not
like that. They mix in all worldly affairs full of raga and dvesha
(desires and aversions) and claim to be Jnanis and
Jeevanmuktas. How can that be?” said that devotee.

“That is what you ask, is it?” said Bhagavan. “I see.
That is all known as Aasura Vasana (demoniac tendencies). It
has been humorously described in Vasudeva Mananam. Wait.
I will have it read.” So saying, Bhagavan asked Venkataratnam
to bring a copy of Vasudeva Mananam. Taking the chapter on
Aasura Vasana and asking him to read it, Bhagavan said,
“Look. Please note that you must read it without laughing.
You should also read it aloud without mumbling to yourself.
There you are. You have already started laughing. Read
without laughing.” He somehow controlled his laughter and
began reading. I will only write down the summary. “For a
sadhaka the obstacles relating to Aasura Vasana exhibit
themselves frequently though he feels that he has got rid of
them. For instance, he would say, ‘You are a fallen yogi.
Useless fellow. Is this the way to perform rituals? There is
no doubt about it. Even the Guru who taught you these rituals
is also a brashta (a fallen person). Don’t come to my presence
from tomorrow. Get away.
“‘You fellow! Prostrate before me and save yourself. Take
the holy waters from our lotus feet and save yourself. What
other Vedantic enquiries are required than serving us? All
your desires will be fulfilled if you worship us. Do not serve
any one else but us. You fellow, if you do not give all that you
have to one of the people here, do not come to us. Look! One
person never cared for us. We therefore said that he should
live no longer. He was thereupon reduced to ashes. In the
same manner another person lost all his wealth and still another
fellow received upadesa from us and never cared for us and
therefore got reduced to ashes subsequently. Who could know
about our greatness except great people like ourselves? We
know the past, the present and the future. We protect the
world at all times. We earned a good deal of money and gave
it away in charity. We know the desires that are in the minds
of each and every individual. Those desires come and stand
before us. We know when a particular person is to get into
trouble and when another person is to get huge wealth. In
this manner we surely get to know future happenings. I am a
Siddha; I am Ishwara. Who is there higher than me? All must
serve me. It is only through me that persons could get their
desires fulfilled. If they do not try to get their desires fulfilled
through us, they will fall into the well of sin. They will soon be
guilty of sinning against the Guru. Take care’.”
With some more things like this the chapter concludes
with the remarks: “Feelings like raga and dvesha are the causes
of retarding the progress of the spiritual aspirant and so
those who are anxious to attain moksha, must practise ‘Self-
enquiry’ and give up those feelings. If any one observes
practices like sravana, manana, etc. he may not gain moksha
during his life time, but those practices will not go to waste.
He will get into uttamaloka (higher life) through that, attain
chitta suddhi and will be born as a Brahmanishta and, by
repeated practice of sravana, manana and the like, attain
Jnanam in due course.”
After Venkataratnam finished reading this chapter,
Bhagavan looked at the devotee who had originally asked
the question and said with a laugh, “Now, sir. You have heard
everything, have you not?” The devotee said, “Yes. I have
heard. But there it has been stated that when there are
obstacles, a person will not attain moksha even if he practises
sravana, manana, etc. It has also been stated that those
practices will not go to waste and will lead him to higher
life. But what happens if one does not practise sravana,
manana, etc. but continues one’s malpractices?”
“That will be the cause of his ruin. Have you not heard
of Nahusha who lost his empire and remained as ajagara
(boa constrictor) for ten-thousand years?” replied Bhagavan.

(239) TULYA NINDA STUTIHI (HE WHO TAKES PRAISE AND REPROACH ALIKE)

Prev Next    14th April, 1949
Sometime in the month of June or July, 1945, a
European youth came here from Nilagiri. When he came it
was 7-30 a.m. Bhagavan had by then gone for taking light
refreshments. Handing over to the attendants in the hall a
basket of fruit which he had brought with him, the youth
went hurriedly into the dining hall. While doing so, his purse
fell out. He did not notice it. An old man, a Reddiar from
Anantapur, who observed the whole thing thought of telling
that youth about it on his return. Meanwhile, a Vaishnavite
with a Namam* came and picked up the purse. The old man
saw that and told him that it belonged to the European. The
Vaishnavite said, “I am his representative. He has asked me
to bring it. I will give it to him only.” So saying he disarmed
the suspicion of the old man, went into the dining hall and
disappeared from there unnoticed.

When the European youth returned, he told all the
people there about the loss of his purse. The old man told
him about the trick played by the man with the Namam. The
people there searched for the trickster all over the place,
* A caste mark on the forehead worn by Vaishnavaites.
but to no purpose. It seems there were ten rupees in that
purse. All this happened before I went to the Ashram at
7-45 a.m. After hearing the whole story from the old Reddiar
I went into the hall when Bhagavan said with a smile, “Look.
This is the gentleman who gave a present of ten rupees to
that great Vaishnavite.” A gentleman in the hall remarked,
“The person who found the purse will feel happy in the
thought that Bhagavan himself gave it to him.” Bhagavan
remarked, “I see. The person who lost the purse will also
feel that it was Bhagavan who stole it.”
About that time, some devotees came to the Ashram
from a distant place. After finishing their bath they came to
Bhagavan’s presence with fruit and various sweets in a big
plate, prostrated before him, and sat down. After a while,
they all got up saying that they would go to Arunachala
Temple and come back. One of them with folded hands said,
“Swami, I prayed to Bhagavan when I started some work.
That work was successful. It was Bhagavan’s grace that was
responsible for my success.” After praising Bhagavan thus
for a long time he went away to the temple along with the
others. As soon as he left, Bhagavan looked at us and said
with a smile, “It seems he thought of something and it became
a success. That was because of his past karma. He keeps
saying that it was all due to Bhagavan’s grace. Another person
takes up some work but does not succeed because of his
karma. He will decry Bhagavan saying that Bhagavan had
not helped him at all. Reproach comes on me the same way
as praise and I have to accept both.”
Another interesting event occurred only yesterday. A
letter in English was received by post alleging several things
against Bhagavan and decrying him. The Ashram authorities
showed it to Bhagavan in the afternoon while he was taking
rest. At 3 p.m., as soon as Muruganar, Viswanatha
Brahmachari and other devotees came in, Bhagavan began
telling them about the letter and then said, looking at
Venkataratnam, “Please go to the office and get that letter.
One of the people here will read it so that all the others can
hear it.” Venkataratnam hesitated to go as he felt that it was
all unnecessary. Thereupon Bhagavan said, “Why do you
say it is unnecessary? You always speak highly of me, saying
‘Swami, Swami.’ You will now know all about my Swamitvam
when you read that letter.” Venkataratnam did not move.
Looking at him, Bhagavan again said, “Why? Why do you
hesitate? When anybody writes praising Bhagavan, you get
the letter, and read it aloud, so that all can hear. Why don’t
you get this one?” So saying, Bhagavan looked at us and
said, “Look how he behaves. When anyone writes saying
Bhagavan is great, he has it read out. But he does not want
this letter to be read out. Why?”
Muruganar said, “Let us leave it at that. Why read it?”
“Oho! So that is it,” said Bhagavan. “All of you have already
conspired amongst yourselves. If that is so, why should I bother
about it?” So saying, with a tolerant smile, Bhagavan resumed
silence. We all felt that it was nothing when compared with the
patience with which he put up with the attempts to decry him
by Mallaswamy, Jataswami and others, who could not with
equanimity bear the great fame that Bhagavan was getting.
This is a good illustration of slokas 18 and 19 in the 12th chapter
of the Bhagavad Gita:
sm> zÇaE c imÇe c twa manapmanyae>,
zItae:[suoÊ>oe;u sm> s1⁄4ivvijRt>.
He who is alike to friend and foe, and likewise to honour
and ignominy, who is alike to heat and cold, pleasure and
pain, etc., is free from attachment.
Gita, XII: 18
tuLyinNdaStuitmaERnI s
Ainket> iSwrmitÉRi ́maNme iàyae nr>.


He who takes praise and reproach alike, who is given to
contemplation and is content with whatever comes unasked
for, without attachment to home, fixed in mind and full
of devotion to me, that man is dear to me.
Gita, XII: 19

(240) PATALA LINGA (THE UNDERGROUND LINGA)

Prev Next    10th May, 1949
It has been stated in the biography of Sri Bhagavan that
in the early days of his arrival he used to sit near the
underground Linga in the Thousand-pillared Mandapam of
Arunachaleswara Temple and that he was so completely
absorbed within himself that he was quite unconscious of the
insects which were biting him until blood came out. You
remember we had seen that cellar and the Linga. They have
long been in a dilapidated state. Recently Mrs. Talayarkhan
decided to get it repaired and convert it into a fine shrine.

She collected some money and entrusted the work to the
contractors Messrs. Tarapore & Co. It was ready before the
Kumbhabhishekam of the Mathrubhuteswara Temple. Even so,
the opening ceremony was put off until the Kumbhabhishekam
was over.
The Kumbhabhishekam being over, Mrs. Talayarkhan
arranged for the opening of the Patala Linga Shrine by the
Governor-General, Sri C. Rajagopalachari, at 8-30 a.m. on
the 4th instant and sent out invitations to all people. Before
the arrival of the Governor General with all his paraphernalia,
several batches of Reserve Police came here. The roads were
repaired and decorated with national flags. The Thousand-
pillared Mandapam was cleaned and white-washed.
Spectators came from all places. The whole town was full of
bustle and noise. Knowing that the Governor General, the
Madras Governor, the Maharaja of Bhavanagar and his wife,
would also come for the occasion and would visit the Ashram
for having a Darshan of Bhagavan, the Municipal authorities
and the police made all the required arrangements at the
Ashram also.
The Governor General went to the temple straight
from the railway station at the appointed hour, performed
the opening ceremony, spoke in terms of praise about Sri
Bhagavan and went away, sending a message to Bhagavan
that he could not visit the Ashram owing to some urgent
work. As soon as he left, all the people assembled at the
temple came here. By 10-30 a.m., the Bhavanagar royal
couple came into Bhagavan’s presence, prostrated before
him with great devotion, spoke to Bhagavan with great
reverence, stayed for half-an-hour, received prasadam, and
went away.
One of the devotees who had witnessed all the festivities
when the shrine was declared open, addressing Bhagavan,
said, “Nowhere do we find cellars in Thousand-pillared
mandapams. What can be the reason for the existence of a
cellar here?” Bhagavan replied, “No, they are usually not in
existence anywhere. The reason for its existence here is
because some important person passed away, and his body
was buried there and a Linga was installed thereon. As the
Linga was there much before the construction of the
thousand-pillared Mandapam it was not disturbed but was
left as it was. The remaining portion of the ground was raised
and the Mandapam was erected. That is why the Linga is
underneath the Mandapam which remains like a cave. Later
on, steps leading to the place were constructed. When I was
staying there it was full of dust. Excepting the elephant on
the Mandapam and myself in the cellar, no one else used to
be there.” We were all surprised at hearing the circumstances
under which the cellar came into existence.
Bhagavan had told us on several occasions that there
were several inscriptions on the walls stating that the Hoysala
Emperor, Krishnadevaraya, constructed the Mandapam and
that it was also stated in those inscriptions that the Emperor
did several other similar good deeds. After hearing this,
Dr. Anantanarayana Rao went there with some devotees, got
the inscriptions in Prakrit language copied and published them
in one of his books. After my return from Tiruchuli in June
1944, Bhagavan related to me several similar anecdotes. I will
write to you about them some other time when I have leisure.

(241) THE MEDICINE ITSELF HAS ARRIVED

Prev Next    12th May, 1949
About a week back, a letter was received by post from
Madhavi Amma. In it was written as follows:
“I hear that Bhagavan is growing weaker and weaker.

My prayer is that you should take tomato juice or orange
juice.”
Reading the letter and telling us about it, Bhagavan
said, “What a suggestion! She is a rich lady. She can afford to
take anything she likes. How can I do that? Even so, how
strong and healthy is she by eating them all? She always
complains of this pain and that. And her height is just about
one foot! Why does she not herself take all those drinks?”
The same evening, Ayuvedic Doctor Ramachandra Rao
came here from Bangalore. Noticing his arrival at the hall,
Bhagavan said to people near him, “Look! Ramachandra Rao
is coming in. He must have brought some medicines with him.
When I see him I do not feel that I am seeing a human being. I
feel that I am seeing the medicines themselves.” In the
meanwhile, Ramachandra Rao came in, placed before Bhagavan
a big bottle of medicine and prostrated. No sooner did he get
up, than Bhagavan said with a laugh, “Did I not tell you all that
the medicine itself has arrived?” With folded hands and in a
prayerful attitude, Ramachandra Rao said, “It is not a medicine,
Bhagavan. It is an Arishtam (a distilled mixture; a tonic).
Bhagavan’s body is very much emaciated. If you take this tonic
it will give you strength. Please use it.”
Bhagavan said, “That is all right. If, by taking this, a
person gets sturdy, why do you not try it on yourself? See
how lean and weak you are! First take it yourself and become
sturdy and strong. After that we shall think of my case.”
Turning towards us, he jocularly said, “See how he is! He is
not able to improve his own health, and he says he will
improve mine!” The doctor could not say anything and so
went away to the office. The next day Bhagavan arranged to
give an ounce of the Arishtam to each and everyone of those
sitting near him and, taking one ounce himself, said, “Look.
That Ramachandra Rao is leaner than any one of us. So give
him one more ounce. We will see if he becomes stout thereby.”
Four or five days after that, contractor Satagopa Naidu
came from Bangalore. He brought with him some bottles
containing sherbet and sent them to Bhagavan through one
of the people who usually sit near Bhagavan, saying that the
sherbet should be given to Bhagavan every day in summer
as it would help in giving some strength to the body.
Satagopan comes to the Ashram, stays for months together,
spends thousands of rupees and contributes a lot of money
for the Asramam’s working but never comes into the presence
of Bhagavan. If you ask why it is so, there is nothing to say.
That is one type of devotion.
As soon as he saw the sherbet bottles, Bhagavan laughed
and said, “Ramachandra Rao and he must have consulted
each other. Why all these things for us? He is a rich man and
so can afford to drink any number of bottles of sherbet. Please
tell him to keep these bottles in his room and take the sherbet
himself in small quantities every day.”
“It seems he brought them for Bhagavan’s use only,”
said a gentleman.
“I see,” said Bhagavan. “We shall then do one thing.”
So saying, he had a big vessel brought, had it filled up with
drinking water, poured all the sherbet into the water and
then asked that one glassful each be given to everyone of the
people assembled there. He moreover directed that one extra
glassful should be given to Satagopan so that he could recover
from exhaustion. The remaining sherbet was subsequently
given to all the other Asramites.
In 1948, a devotee from Kanpur, by name Khanna, sent
by parcel post some tins containing Chyavanaprash, saying
that it was prepared by himself specially for Bhagavan’s use
and that it would give some strength to Bhagavan’s body if
he took it. Saying that if it gave him strength it should give
strength to others also, Bhagavan had it served to all people
in the Ashram along with their early morning breakfast and
himself took along with the others a similar quantity and
nothing more.
If there is anything that is not wanted by others such as
kanji or cold rice, Bhagavan takes the major portion of it
himself. If it is a delicacy like sweetmeats which everybody
likes, he gives away the major portion to others and takes a
small portion himself. Who is there comparable to him in
this feeling of equality? He can be compared to himself only.

(242) VEDA ADHYAYANA (STUDY OF THE VEDA)

Prev Next    16th May, 1949
It is usual for Dr. Srinivasa Rao to take part in Veda
Parayana (chanting of Vedic hymns) along with the boys of
the Sanskrit school whenever he comes here. Two or three
days back, he came here and as usual sat with the boys for
the evening parayana tying his dhoti in the same manner as
the Brahmacharis. Bhagavan had been noticing this for some
time past but had not said anything. That evening he looked
at the doctor and began laughing within himself. I thought
there must be something unusual. As soon as the parayana
was over and the doctor got up, Bhagavan said, “What sir!
Do you wear your dhoti in this way or in the orthodox style
on such occasions?”*
With some nervousness the doctor said, “I do wear it in
the orthodox style usually. I somehow tied it like this today.

From tomorrow onwards I will wear it properly.” “That’s
not it,” said Bhagavan. “The pandits who come for parayana
tie their dhotis in the orthodox style. That is why I asked you.
* The orthodox style consists of weaning a dhoti round the body
with one end taken in between the legs and tucked in at that back.
This is how Maharashtrians and others wear the dhoti and also all
married men.
Moreover, you are a Maharashtrian. You are also a married
man. I am only interested to know whether you are
accustomed to that style or not.” “No, Bhagavan,” said the
doctor. “From tomorrow onwards, I shall wear it in that
manner only.” From that day onwards, he began wearing
his dhoti in the same manner as is done by married people.
Bhagavan, of course, saw this and laughed within himself.
With regard to the Veda Parayana, if anybody commits a
mistake, Bhagavan generally corrects him in this subtle way.
In 1938, a Malayalee devotee by name Sankaran wrote
Bhagavan’s biography in Malayalam and brought it to
Bhagavan saying, “We are thinking of sending it to the press.
Bhagavan may be pleased to go through the book before
publication.” Bhagavan thereupon made a few corrections
after informing the people around him. It seems that in the
book it was stated in one place that people of all castes could
study the Vedas. Bhagavan noticed this and corrected it to
say that all castes could practise the Vedas by inserting the
word abhyasa in place of the word adhyayana. As Ramanatha
Iyer was there in the hall at the time, he heard all this. He
did not know at the time that there was a difference between
the words abhyasa and adhyayana. Hence some people thought
that Bhagavan had approved of adhyayana (Study of Vedas)
by all castes. With the intention of telling Kunjuswami about
this Sankaran went home as soon as Bhagavan went into the
hall for food.
It seems in those days Kunjuswami and Ramanatha Iyer
were living in a room by the side of the path leading to
Palakothu. Both of them sat on a platform in their verandahs
after food and, during a discussion about sundry matters,
Ramanatha Iyer said, ‘Look, Kunjuswami. From tomorrow,
you also can do Vedadhyayanam. Bhagavan has decided about
it today.” Bhagavan, who usually goes to Palakothu after food,
happened to be returning from there at the time and having
heard this, said, “What? Is it I that decided thus? I never
said all castes could do adhyayana.”
Both of them were startled by this sudden interruption
and got up and with folded hands, Ramanatha Iyer said, “It
is only a short time back Bhagavan had approved of
Sankaran’s biography. It is stated that people of all castes
could study Vedas (Vedadhyayana).” “Yes. I did go through
the book. I corrected, however, the word adhyayana into
‘abhyasa (practice)’” said Bhagavan. “Is there a difference
between adhyayana and abhyasa?” they asked. “Why not? Veda
means jnana. So I said Vedabhyasa (practice of jnana). That’s
all. I never said adhyayana (study) can be done,” said
Bhagavan. Ramanatha Iyer replied, “I was not able to
understand the difference. Only now when Bhagavan has
explained to me clearly, I could comprehend the whole thing.
Unless it is clearly stated that adhyayana should not be done
by all castes, it will not be possible for ordinary people to
understand.” Bhagavan said, “Let people understand in
whatever way they like; why should we bother? Are we
responsible for all the misunderstandings in this world?” So
saying Bhagavan went towards the Ashram.

(243) WORLDLY DUTIES

Prev Next    17th May, 1949
Bhagavan has expressed his views not only about
Vedadhyayana and similar matters but also about Lowkika Dharma
— that is, worldly duties. A young lady, by name Rajamma, the
daughter of Thiruppapuliyur Krishnaswami Iyer, a devotee
who has been coming to the Ashram off and on, came here
recently, rented a house in Ramananagar and began staying all
alone in that house. It seems there were differences between
herself and her husband and, as they had no children, she
came away in 1945, saying that she would remain permanently
in Bhagavan’s presence. She was the only daughter of her
parents. Perhaps because they were too old, or because of some
other reason, the parents could not come to stay here
permanently. As they felt it was not proper to allow their middle-
aged daughter to stay all alone here, they were writing letters
to her saying that she should stay either with her husband or
with them. They had no objection to her going to Bhagavan
for darshan now and then but they were unwilling to let her
stay here permanently. She used to inform Bhagavan about all
this and say that she did not feel like going back.

For some time Bhagavan kept quiet as if he had not
heard her properly. At last one day he said, “Look here. You
have elders who want you there, but you insist on staying
here. You may do as you please. Stay if you like or go if you
want to. Why tell me all this? Your parents have been visiting
this place for a very long time. If they come here and ask
me, ‘Swami, what is this?’, what can I tell them?” She was
upset by what Bhagavan said and went out. Immediately
after that, Bhagavan looked at Ramachandra Iyer and said,
“When the parents advise her either to stay with her husband
or with themselves, what is the use of her coming and telling
me all this? What can I do? Will they not think that instead
of advising her properly, Swami has kept her near himself?
Both the parents are old. She is the only child. Whoever
asked her to discard her duties and stay alone here? Whoever
asked her to come here?”
You know, during the early days of my stay here I used
to go over to your place whenever you had any domestic
difficulty and come back in due course. In 1945, you wrote
to me about my sister-in-law’s sickness and the troubles you
were experiencing, but you did not ask me to come. You
did, however, say that my sister-in-law, in her sickness was
always expressing a desire to see me. I read out the contents
of that letter to Bhagavan and told him that I would write to
you again and go over to your place after receiving a reply.
That was because you had not written to me to come.
Bhagavan however felt displeased and told me to do as I
liked best. Noticing it, I said immediately that I was starting
that same night. Then Bhagavan replied saying, “Yes. That’s
good.” Meanwhile, Rajagopala Iyer came into the hall and
enquired whether it was a fact that I was going away to my
brother’s place. Bhagavan said, “Yes. They will be satisfied if
she goes there. It is good that she should go. When a person
is suffering from illness and keeps on asking for her sister-
in-law, should she not go?”
Sometime back a young man, closely related to Sundaram
Iyer (Bhagavan’s father) argued with his parents saying that
he did not wish to marry and that was the reason why he
came here. It did not matter if he came but even in the very
beginning he went and sat for food in the place where non-
Brahmins eat. The Sarvadhikari did not like it and asked him
to come to the place reserved for Brahmins. He did not do so.
Instead, he said that there was no need for caste distinctions
in Bhagavan’s presence. The Sarvadhikari tried to give him
proper advice by saying, “It is all right for Bhagavan as he has
renounced everything. How can you take up that stand? If
your parents hear of this, what will they say?” He did not,
however, heed that advice and began to argue. There was a
heated exchange of words. Bhagavan was silently observing
the whole thing unconcernedly. The young man could not
contain himself and so, approaching Bhagavan, said, “Should
not caste distinctions be discarded when one comes to
Bhagavan’s presence?’
“Oho! Is it the only thing that has remained for you? Does
it mean that everything else has been discarded? If so, this also
could be discarded. Where is the question of discarding? It
disappears of its own accord. What do you say? Have all other
differences been discarded by you?” enquired Bhagavan.
Thereupon that young man went to the place reserved for
Brahmins and sat there without uttering another word. Later
on he married, got children, began doing a job and comes here
now and then for Bhagavan’s darshan.
Is it not clear from this that Bhagavan wants everyone
to perform worldly duties so long as one has the feeling of
ego and also the feeling of love and hatred?

(244) SAMADARSATVAM! (EQUALITY)

Prev Next    22nd May, 1949
The Mandalabhishekam was performed in Mathru-
bhuteswara temple on Vaisakha Suddha Chathurthi, i.e.,
Monday the 2nd May, 1949. Mahapuja (the Anniversary of
the death of Bhagavan’s Mother) was performed yesterday,
Vaishakha Bahula Navami. By that time, the erection of the
front hall of the temple had almost been completed. Hence
the Sarvadhikari consulted his assistants and requested
Bhagavan to stay in the front hall on those two days.

Accordingly on the afternoon of the 20th, Bhagavan came
there. That day I happened to be there a little earlier than
usual. When I went in by the main gate there was an
uncommon activity in the front hall. I went to the verandah
eagerly and found that Bhagavan was seated on the sofa. His
face was not radiant as usual. I was wondering why it was so. I
could not ask anybody.
The Sarvadhikari was standing opposite Bhagavan’s sofa
with his friends and some important people amongst Ashram
workers and was saying something. Bhagavan was merely
saying ‘Yes, yes,’ in a noncommittal manner. I hesitated to
go in under those circumstances and so stood in the
verandah. Bhagavan had noticed through the window my
coming and my hesitation to enter the hall. Ten minutes
elapsed by the time all of them left. Subsequently Sivanandam
alone was there near Bhagavan. Two or three people who
had recently arrived were seated at a distance. Bhagavan
was looking intently at the ceiling of the hall and at the huge
stones that were being chiselled outside. I went in, prostrated
and got up. Bhagavan looked at me and with a voice full of
kindness, said, “Do you see this? They have imprisoned me
within these four walls. They have made me a prisoner by
preventing other people from coming in. Look! There is no
scope for anyone to come in.” So saying, he looked up at the
ceiling, which had no outlet or inlet any where and said,
“How can they (the squirrels) come here?” He continued to
stare at the ceiling. I stood absolutely dumbfounded on
realising his way of looking at things. Sivanandam, who was
close by, said, “The Sarvadhikari and others feel that if
Bhagavan is here he will be protected from rain or hot
sunshine outside.” Bhagavan whose look was concentrated
on the ceiling, came to with a start when he heard those
words and looking at Sivanandam, said, “That’s all right. If
we look to our comfort, is it not at the expense of the
sufferings of others? Squirrels, monkeys, peacocks, cows and
others have no chance of coming here. Does it not mean
that we have deprived them all of their privileges? People
think that it is a great happiness for Swami if he is here.
What is to be done?” Bhagavan’s voice became tremulous.
The attendant took up the thread of the conversation and
said, “Yes, that is true. Only human beings can come in;
animals and birds cannot come in freely.” Bhagavan did not
say anything.
After sometime, some rich devotees came and sat opposite
Bhagavan. One or two poor people came after them but were
afraid to come in. Noticing this through the windows,
Bhagavan said to his attendants, “There you are. Look at those
people. You said there was every convenience for men to come
in. Is there scope for all people to come in? Rich people are
accustomed to see huge buildings with lights, fans, collapsible
doors and other imposing furnishings, and so they come inside
unhesitatingly. But poor people like me will hesitate to come
in, for they feel that it is a place where only rich people live.
They are afraid of what people would say if they come in, and
so, go away quietly like those people who, as you see, are
peeping through the windows. Where is the place for them
here? See those poor people! What a pity!” Unable to say
anything further Bhagavan resumed silence.
As soon as it was evening, he sent away some of his
attendants saying that the evening was the time when all of
them (monkeys, peacocks, etc.) come here. “They may
perhaps think that Swami has given them the slip and gone
elsewhere. Please go. What a pity! Go, give them at least
some food and come back.” As soon as the attendants
returned after feeding them, Bhagavan remarked with a
tremulous voice, “Have you fed them all? They will perhaps
feel that Swami has deserted them and has gone away to a
better place and is sitting there so that he alone can be happy.
Perhaps they thought that I had forgotten them. There is no
scope for them to come here. What to do?” Whenever any
animals or birds come to him, he would always say, “We do
not know who they are,” and would never look at them with
indifference. If any of the attendants do not give them proper
attention he would not tolerate it, but would say, “That is
bad. You merely see the skin that covers the body but not
the person that is within. You feel that you are great, and
the others are small, and so try to drive them away. They
have come here just as we have come. Why do they not have
the same rights that we have?” He used to admonish them
thus. It is not surprising that Bhagavan feels compassionate
towards the animals and the poor who do not venture to
come into this new hall with all these lights, fans, iron doors,
guards and other paraphernalia. You see, samadarsatvam, i.e.,
looking at all living beings with equality, is but natural to
Bhagavan.

(245) KINDNESS TO ANIMALS

Prev Next    23rd May, 1949
One afternoon in 1946, at 2 p.m. some savouries
prepared in the Ashram were distributed amongst the
devotees. A few of them were given to Bhagavan also.

Bhagavan ate them, drank some water, went out and came
back, when some monkeys came to the window near his sofa.
Seeing them, Bhagavan asked his attendants to go and bring
some of the savoury preparations, saying, that the monkeys
would relish them very much. The attendants returned
saying that the people in the kitchen refused, saying that
they had not prepared enough savouries to feed the monkeys
also. “Oho! How did we get them then?” said Bhagavan.
“This is ration time,” said a devotee. “What if it is ration
time? When we have rations, why should they (monkeys)
not have rations as well? The problem will be solved if a
ration card is obtained for the monkeys as well. They will eat
these things with greater relish than we. If they do not have
it, why should we have it either? When we are eating, see
how those children (i.e., the monkeys) are looking at us,”
said Bhagavan. Thereupon, they also got their share.
From that time onwards, Bhagavan used to accept things
only after the monkeys’ share were given to them. It seems
there was an earlier practice of taking out their share first
before anything was distributed. The change that had come
about in the interim period disappeared with this reprimand
from Bhagavan. In the past, on festive occasions like Jayanti
and Mahapuja, Bhagavan used to see that some food was taken
out separately, made into balls, placed in a basket and then
taken into Palakothu where he used to sit and personally hand
over the balls one by one with great joy to the monkeys. A
photo was taken of this event at the time of Bhagavan’s
Shashtiabda-purthi festivities in 1939. The radiance on
Bhagavan’s face at that time can be seen and appreciated if
that photo is looked at.
You know what happened one morning in 1946?
Squirrels came on to Bhagavan’s sofa for cashew nuts. The
nuts, which used to be in the tin near Bhagavan, were
exhausted. Groundnuts were given instead. The squirrels
would not eat them and began to express their discontent in
all possible ways. “We don’t have them, my dears. What to
do?” said Bhagavan, as he tried to cajole them. No. They
would not be appeased. They were crawling over the legs
and hands of Bhagavan continuously as a sign of their
displeasure. So Bhagavan asked Krishnaswami to go and
find out if there was any stock of cashew nuts in the
storeroom. Krishnaswami went and brought a few nuts. “Is
that all?” asked Bhagavan. Krishnaswami said that they were
preparing payasam that night and so they could spare only
that much. Bhagavan felt annoyed and said, “I see. Payasam
will not be less tasteful if the cashew nuts are a little less in
quantity than usual. What a pity. These squirrels do not like
anything less and they are worrying me. The storekeepers
have declined to give cashew nuts saying that they will have
to put them into the payasam. Who will be worried if there
are no cashew nuts in the payasam? See how these children
are worrying themselves for want of cashew nuts!” With that,
the cashew nuts which should have gone into payasam, went
into the stomachs of the squirrels and also into the tin by his
side (for future feeding of the squirrels).
The same evening, Dr. Anantanarayana Rao brought
from Madras two visa (about 4.5 kilograms) of cashew nuts,
saying that he had brought them for the squirrels. With a
smile, Bhagavan said addressing Krishnaswami, “Look at
this. They are earning whatever they want. There is no need
to beg of you. These cashew nuts are their property. Keep
them carefully. Note that they should not be given to the
storeroom. Take care.”
One morning in January 1947, at about 9 a.m., Lakshmi
the cow entered the hall hurriedly with her legs, body and
tail full of mud, with blood oozing out of her nose and with a
half-severed rope round her neck. She went straight to the
sofa where Bhagavan sat. The attendants began saying with
some disgust that she had come in with mud on her body.
Bhagavan, however, said with affection, “Let her come. Let
her come. What does it matter how she comes?” Addressing
the cow, he said. “Come, my dear. Please come near.” So
saying he passed his hand over the body lightly, patted her
on the neck and looking at the face and said, “What is this?
Some blood is oozing!” One of the attendants said, “Recently
they had put a rope through her nose.”
“Oho! Is that the reason? That is why she has come
here to complain to me about it. Is it not very painful for
her? Unable to bear the pain, she has come here running
to complain to me without even washing her body. What to
do? Give her some iddli or something,” said Bhagavan,
evincing great solicitude for her welfare. The attendants
gave her some plantains and thus managed to send her
out. I went to the kitchen, brought some iddlies and gave
them to her. She was satisfied and went away to her usual
place.
After all of us returned to the hall and sat down,
Bhagavan remarked, looking at the attendants, “Do not all
of you come to me to relate your troubles? She too has done
the same thing. Why then are you vexed with her for coming
here with mud on her? When we have troubles, do we
consider whether our clothes are all right or our hair is
properly brushed?”
There is no need to mention the love and affection
Bhagavan has towards the peacocks. Not only is he specially
considerate towards mild animals like these, he is equally
considerate towards beings like snakes which are also given
shelter in the Ashram. Not only is this mentioned in his
biography but we ourselves have now and then witnessed
it here. I have already written to you earlier about the tiger
cubs. Recently an incident happened here about snakes.
As the opening ceremony of the Patala Linga Temple
was fixed for the 4th and as several visitors were expected at
the Ashram on that account, and especially the Governor and
his wife, it was felt that the available space would not be
sufficient and so a pandal was put up to the right side of
Bhagavan’s sofa in the Jubilee Hall to accommodate them. A
week earlier, i.e., towards the end of April, Krishnaswami
arranged that the pandal should be used for Veda Parayana
and also for the ladies to sit under. It is after all a new
construction. On all its sides crotons were placed, khus-khus
thatties were tied and water was sprinkled regularly. Hence
the place remained comparatively cool. Some four days after
the pandal was erected I happened to go there in the afternoon
a little earlier than usual. Bhagavan had just gone out and
come back. There was nobody near him. I prostrated before
him and then sat down under the pandal. A big green snake
came through an opening between the crotons on the side of
Bhagavan’s sofa, glided along some distance, got up on to the
roof of the pandal and settled down comfortably there. I was
not frightened in any way and so kept quiet looking at the
snake and at Bhagavan. He noticed my feelings and said with
a smile, “He has come here because it is cool.” I said, “Since
how long could he have been here?” Bhagavan replied, “He
came here about the same time as I returned after the midday
meal. He has been going around the pandal and also the
crotons. He has been coming here like this for the last three
days and going away around 2.30 p.m.”
I said, “He must be a great soul. He must have come
here in this shape to serve Bhagavan when he is alone.” As I
was saying this, Krishnaswami came in.
Krishnaswami: “I do not know what to do. He is coming
here every day. Bhagavan says we should not chase him away.”
Bhagavan: “What if he comes? What harm has he done
to us?”
Krishnaswami: “He has not done anything to us. But
this is a place to which several people come. Is it not risky?”
Bhagavan: “But he goes away at 2.30 p.m., doesn’t he?”
Krishnaswami: “It is all right now, but during festival
days people come in at all times.”
Bhagavan: “Oho! That is your fear!” So saying,
Bhagavan looked at the snake and at me. I too began
looking at the snake and at Bhagavan, and I said, “He must
have come here to serve Bhagavan. But if he comes with
this cover (meaning the body), there is likely to be some
trouble to him from the people in general and from him to
the general public.”
Bhagavan: “It might be so.”
Bhagavan thereupon looked at the snake for a while,
steadfastly and graciously. Immediately after that the snake,
which was remaining still all the time we were discussing,
got down the pandal rapidly, went into the flower garden
and disappeared. There was no knowing what message he
received when Bhagavan gazed at him. The clock struck
the half-hour. Devotees began coming in rows and
prostrated before Bhagavan. Bhagavan’s look thus got
diverted and he came back to his normal state. The snake
was never seen afterwards.
There are ever so many incidents to show that
Bhagavan’s abode is a place of safe resort not only for the
weaker sex and the poor but also for dumb animals at all
times. I shall write to you in another letter some more
incidents of this nature.

(246) THE HELPER OF THE HELPLESS

Prev Next    24th May, 1949
You remember, till 1943, in the old hall there used to
be a door on the southern side opposite to where Bhagavan
used to sit on the sofa and a window in the southern wall
which is now converted into a door. Devotees used to enter
by the southern door, have a darshan of Bhagavan who is
the incarnation of Dakshinamurthy and go out by the
northern door. Some ladies used to sit on the southern side
opposite to Bhagavan. As time passed, the number of
visitors increased and ladies with their children began sitting
there. The children naturally began to create some nuisance.

Besides that, from 1943 onwards, the number of visitors of
all types increased still more. Moreover, some poor ladies
were coming with their children to prostrate and the
children were urinating there. The mothers do not get even
a cloth to wipe it out; and even if a cloth was given, some of
the modern ladies would not take the trouble to clean the
place. Therefore, Bhagavan’s attendants had to clean it up.
They were tired and vexed at this and thought of
preventing such uncivilised people from coming into the
hall. Bhagavan, however, would not, under any
circumstances, agree to it. Hence, they began thinking of
preventing ladies from sitting in the hall and making
arrangements for their sitting in the verandah only. I came
to know of it indirectly and was very much grieved. I told
them, “Just because one or two people behave in an
uncivilised manner, why do you intend to penalise all ladies
by preventing them from sitting inside? We trusted
Bhagavan and have come here from long distances. Please
do not penalise all of us. I will clean that place whenever
necessary.” From that time I began looking after that work.
Even so, they were not satisfied. At last, one day, they went
to Bhagavan and told him that they would make seating
arrangements for ladies outside. Bhagavan thereupon asked
why men should sit in the hall if women could not sit there.
The attendants stated the difficulties they were experiencing
in looking after the ladies that come and go. Bhagavan said,
“What work is there in the hall even for Bhagavan? It will
be all right if he sits under the almond tree, which is
opposite. There will then be no trouble or worry for
anybody, whatever the children may do.” When he said
that, they gave up all their attempts to isolate the ladies.
Instead, the window on one side was replaced by the door
on the other side and vice-versa. After that, the ladies got
their seating place opposite to Bhagavan’s feet.
A similar incident happened in 1946 when I was
appointed as a volunteer for ladies during the Brahmotsavam.
I have already written to you that Bhagavan changed his
seat to the Golden Jubilee Hall immediately it was ready,
that is, on the third day of the festival. He did not thereafter
come back to the hall even during the rest period in the
afternoons. There was not even a curtain around the sofa.
Only a rope was tied to prevent people from the villages
crowding around him in the afternoons. The people used to
wander about the town and so when they came to Bhagavan’s
presence very much tired, some used to squat on the floors
with legs outstretched; some used to discuss their affairs in
loud voices and some used to lie down and snore. That used
to happen between 12 noon and 2 p.m. Mothers used to
sleep while breast-feeding the children and the other children
used to wander and play about everywhere. When attempts
were made to send such people away, it seems Bhagavan
said, “Poor people! They must have wandered about a good
deal. They are now taking some rest. How could you drive
them away? Let them stay on.”
I went there soon after 2 p.m. By that time, those people
were leaving. Krishnaswami and others had to clean the
places themselves. Unable to put up with that nuisance any
longer, Krishnaswami was requesting Bhagavan to sit in the
hall only. Bhagavan did not agree.
Krishnaswami: “Who will tidy up the nuisance
committed by the children?”
Bhagavan: “It should be all right if their mothers are
asked to clean it up themselves and are requested to be
careful thereafter.”
Krishnaswami: “Who is there to tell them all that? If it
were the Congress, they have women volunteers for looking
after the women visitors.”
Bhagavan (looking at me with a smile): “There she is.
We have a volunteer. Why do you say we have none?”
I: (understanding Bhagavan’s instructions): “Will they
care to listen to me?”
Bhagavan (cooly): “Why not? Outsiders will certainly
carry out your instructions.”
I: “Then it is all right. I shall certainly tell them.”
Bhagavan: “Poor people! They come here only to see
Swami; and they get all the required conveniences here.”
In accordance with Bhagavan’s orders I looked after
the work from that day. That arrangement was found very
convenient, and so the office people considered the matter
and confirmed me in that work. Bhagavan wanted to give
darshan to poor people in that way during those ten days
and he sat there too, with kind solicitude for them. I therefore
felt that I should also do that much of service to them.
As you know, during the time of the Jayanti, Mahapuja
and other celebrations, Bhagavan does not get up for his
meals unless and until the feeding of the poor starts and is
half-finished. It seems in the past, during such festive
occasions, Bhagavan did not take his food except with the
last batch. It is only recently, on representations made by
devotees, that Bhagavan has been taking food after the
feeding of the poor was halfway through. Daily, before the
time for the midday meal, and before striking the gong, rice
was mixed with all the other preparations, made into balls
and was sent out for distribution to the poor. That custom
prevailed for a long time. Within recent times, however, it so
happened that the distribution was done either while meals
were being taken or soon after that. One day, Bhagavan saw
a poor man struggling under a tree as he could not get his
share of the food. Next day, when the gong was struck,
Bhagavan got up and went to the tree where the poor people
had gathered, stood there and said, “If you do not give them
food first, I will not come to the dining hall at all. I will stand
under the tree along with these people, stretch out my hands
for food like them, and when I am given a ball of food, I will
eat it, go straight to the hall and sit there.” From that day
onwards, it is only after food is sent to the poor, they strike
the gong in the dining hall.
You know what happened one day in February 1947?
A poor man came into the hall and stood opposite to
Bhagavan’s sofa. As Bhagavan was busy writing something,
he did not notice him. The attendants asked the poor man
to go out. He did not go. “If you do not go away, why not
sit?” they said. He did not move. Bhagavan lifted his head
and looked at him questioningly. The poor man said with
great eagerness, “Swami, I do not want anything. My stomach
is burning with hunger. Please arrange to give me one handful
of rice to satisfy this great hunger.” Bhagavan looked at his
attendants indicating his intentions. “For this small thing,
should you ask Bhagavan? Come, let us go,” said one of the
attendants and took the poor man towards the kitchen. After
they left, Bhagavan looked at all those in the hall and said,
“Do you see that? As he is a very poor man, he has no desires
except one and that is to fill his stomach with food as it is
burning with hunger. With that, he will be satisfied and will
go. He goes and lies down under some tree and sleeps
happily. Where do we have the satisfaction that he has? We
have any number of desires. If one desire is satisfied another
one comes up. Hence where is the chance for our desires to
be satisfied?”
Is it not clear from this that in Bhagavan’s presence, there
is a shelter for the weak, the helpless and the poor at all times?

(247) RESIDING IN THE FRONT HALL

Prev Next    3rd June, 1949
Bhagavan spent the whole day time in the new hall of
the temple on the Mahapuja day and returned to the Golden
Jubilee hall for the night. The work in the new hall was
finished a week later. Some devotees felt that the Golden
Jubilee Hall would be more comfortable for Bhagavan and
pointed this out to the office people. The Sarvadhikari,
however, desired that Bhagavan should be seated only in
the front hall of the temple. So, he approached Bhagavan
one morning with his attendants and told him that on Jyeshta
Suddha Panchami (the 5th day of the lunar month of Jyeshta),
i.e., on Wednesday, 1-6-1949, at 10 a.m., he would make all
the arrangements for Bhagavan to sit on the Yogasana (couch)
in the new hall and would Bhagavan be pleased to occupy
that seat. Bhagavan in his usual disinterested manner, said,
“What have I to say in the matter? I will sit wherever all of
you want me to sit.” “That is why we have all come here to
beg of you to come to the new hall,” they said. Bhagavan
nodded his head in assent.

On the morning of the first instant, decorative designs
of lime powder were drawn on the floor around the front
hall and strings of green leaves were tied in a row to the
doors and windows. On the Yogasana, a mattress of silk cotton
with a covering of satin cloth was spread and at the back a
broad pillow was laid. A silk bed sheet covered the mattress.
It was also prettily decorated. Abhishekam and other Pujas
were being performed in the temple, the bells were ringing,
arathi (light) with camphor was being waved, when at 9-45
a.m, Bhagavan, who was returning from the Gosala, was led
with Purnakalasa (vessels full of water) and with brahmins
chanting the Vedas, to the front hall and was requested to sit
on the Yogasana. After the recital of ‘Nakarmana’ and other
mantras, and the waving of camphor lights, and after all the
devotees had prostrated before him, Bhagavan sat on the
couch arranged for him.
I sat in the hall reflecting on the whole scene as follows:
Vidyaranya began the building of a city in the shape of a
chakra (wheel) but did not succeed. He had, however, written
about it, saying that in the future some emperor would do
it. Ganapati Muni had that in mind and so wrote in
“Arunachala Ashtakam” (Eight verses in praise of
Arunachala), beginning with: “Sree chakrakriti shona shaila
vapusham”.
In accordance with that sentence, he said, “This hill
itself is in the shape of a chakra, so this is the place meant by
Vidyaranya. Bhagavan is the emperor and the only thing
that remains is to build houses around.” So saying, he drew
up plans for the proposed kingdom but disappointed us
ultimately as he passed away before the plans could be
executed. The Sarvadhikari, however, built a temple over
the Samadhi of his mother, made the front hall the chief place
of the empire, constructed a stone seat like the throne of
Vikramarka for Bhagavan to sit on; all according to Ganapati
Muni’s great dreams. His desires have been fulfilled and the
Emperor amongst Yogis, Sri Bhagavan, is seated there, like
real the Sadasiva.
While I was thus absorbed in my own thoughts, the
Stapathi and others came with a plate containing fruits,
flowers and other auspicious articles and got them touched
by Bhagavan; they then went out through the southern
doorway. I did not understand what it was all about.
Bhagavan was looking with steadfastness in that direction.
With a desire to know what it was about, I went out and saw
opposite the doorway and in the open courtyard a huge
stone. They smeared on it turmeric powder and kumkum,
placed on it a flower garland, broke some coconuts on it, lit
some camphor and began chiselling it. When I asked
somebody what it was, I was told that it was for making a
statue of Bhagavan. My heart throbbed with misgivings. You
may ask, why? I felt disturbed because it is known to us all
that Bhagavan is sick. Under these circumstances I began to
wonder why a statue was being thought of. Comforting myself
with several explanations, I came to Bhagavan’s presence
and sat down. Bhagavan noticed all my misgivings and my
troubled mind. In the meantime the function relating to the
statue was over and they all came in. The bell in the dining
hall rang and all dispersed. But somehow my mind continued
to be troubled. When I entered in the afternoon at 3 p.m.
Bhagavan told us some stories and made me forget the
matter. I will write about all those things in another letter.

(248) THE HAPPINESS OF AN INDEPENDENT LIFE

Prev Next    3rd June, 1949
Revolving in my mind the details relating to the function
held this morning for the construction of a statue, I went to the
Ashram this afternoon before 3 p.m. As Bhagavan had gone
out, I was standing in the hall awaiting his return. The silk-
cotton mattress that was spread on the couch was slippery
because it was new, though it was thick and firmly stitched. As a
big pillow was placed on one side for Bhagavan to keep his
arms, another behind to lean against and a third one at the
feet, the actual seating space got considerably reduced. As I
was wondering how Bhagavan would be able to sit there, he
came in. Sitting on the mattress and pressing it with his hand,
he said, looking at his attendants, “See how this mattress slips
from one side to another! People think that it will be comfortable
for Bhagavan if there is a costly mattress. It is, however, not
possible to sit on this restfully. Why this? It will be much more
comfortable if I sit on the stone seat itself. Truly, I do not find
even the slightest happiness on these mattresses and pillows,
compared with the happiness I had when I was sitting or
sleeping on the raised platform which I myself constructed of
stone and mud in Virupaksha Cave. As was told in the story
about the sadhu, people think that Swami is undergoing great
hardship when he lives in a thatched shed and lies on a stone
bench, and so they make a fuss. I do not find the slightest
happiness on these mattresses and pillows. It will perhaps be
better if, like that sadhu in the story, I gather some stones similar
to those I had in the Virupaksha Cave, take them to whichever
place I go, and spread them on a mattress like this. At that
place it was a stone platform. In the Jubilee Hall and even
here, it is a stone couch. The only obstacle between me and this
couch is this mattress. But one thing. The pillow under the
feet, the pillow on the side, and the broad pillow at the back, all
the three, are almost as hard as stones. So this is almost like the
story of the sadhu. Without bringing stones from elsewhere, my
bed of stones is already here.”
A devotee said, “What is that story of the sadhu, which
Bhagavan has now mentioned?” whereupon Bhagavan began
relating the story as follows:
“A great Mahatma was living as a sadhu under a tree in a
forest. He always used to keep with him three stones. While
sleeping, he used to keep one of them under the head,
another under the waist and the third under the legs and
cover himself with a sheet. When it rained, the body used to
be on the stones and so the water would flow underneath,
and the water that fell on the sheet too, would flow down. So
there was no disturbance to his sleep; he used to sleep
soundly. When sitting, he used to keep the three stones
together like a hearth and sit upon them comfortably. Hence
snakes and other reptiles did not trouble him nor did he
trouble them, for they used to crawl through the slits under
the stones. Somebody used to bring him food and he would
eat it. And so, there was nothing for him to worry about.

“A king, who came to that forest for hunting, saw this
sadhu and felt, ‘What a pity! How much must he be suffering
by having to adjust his body suitably to those stones and
sleep thereon. I must take him home and keep him with me
at least one or two days and make him feel comfortable.’ So
thinking, he went home and sent two of his soldiers with a
palanquin and its bearers, with instructions to invite the sadhu
respectfully and bring him to his palace. He also said that if
they did not succeed in bringing the sadhu, they would be
punished. They came and saw the sadhu and told him that
the king had ordered them to bring him to the palace and
that he should come. When he showed disinclination to go
with them, they said that they would be punished if they
returned without him. So they begged of him to come, if
only to save them from trouble. As he did not want them to
get into trouble on his account, he agreed to go with them.
What was there for him to pack up? A kaupeenam,* a sheet
and those three stones. He folded and kept the kaupeenam
in that sheet, kept those three stones also in the sheet and
tied them together. ‘What is this? This Swami is bringing
with him some stones when he is going to a Raja’s palace! Is
he mad or what?’ thought those soldiers. Anyway, he got
into the palanquin with his bundle and came to the king.
The Raja saw that bundle, thought it contained some
personal effects, took him into the palace with due respect,
feasted him properly, arranged a tape cot with a mattress of
silk cotton to sleep upon. The sadhu opened his bundle, took
out the three stones, spread them on the bed, covered
himself with the sheet and slept as usual.
“The next morning the king came, bowed to him with
respect and asked, ‘Swami, is it comfortable for you here?’
“Swami: Yes. What is there wanting here? I am always
happy.
“King: That is not it, Swami. You were experiencing
hardships in the forest by having to sleep on those stones.
Here this bed and this house must be giving you happiness.
That is why I am asking.
“Swami: The bed that was there is here also. The bed
that is here is there also. So I have the same happiness
everywhere. There is nothing wanting at any time, either in
regard to my sleep or to my happiness.
* Kaupeenam: A small piece of cloth, usually a small strip, worn
over the privities.
“The king was puzzled and looked at the cot. He saw
that the three stones were on it. Whereupon, the king
immediately prostrated before the sadhu and said, ‘Oh Holy
Man! Without knowing your greatness I brought you here
with the intention of making you happy. I did not know
that you are always in a state of happiness, and so I behaved
in this foolish manner. Please excuse me and bless me.’ After
making up for his mistake in this way, he allowed the sadhu
to go his way. This is the story of the sadhu.”
“So, in the eyes of Mahatmas, that free life is the real
happy life?” said that devotee. “What else? Life in big
buildings like this is like prison life. Only I may be an ‘A’
class prisoner. When I sit on mattresses like these, I feel
that I am sitting on prickly pears. Where is peace and
comfort?” said Bhagavan.
Next day that mattress was taken away and the usual
mattress was spread on the couch. Even so, several people
thought that it might be better to leave Bhagavan to a free
life like that of the sadhu. But Bhagavan had to stay there
alone, like a parrot in the cage of the devotees because the
devotees never leave him free.

(249) FAN

Prev Next    4th June, 1949
Yesterday evening, by the time Bhagavan went out and
came back, some of the modern civilised devotees switched
on all the fans in the new hall and sat there comfortably, awaiting
Bhagavan’s return. As soon as he came, he looked up and
while sitting on the couch, asked the attendants as to who had
switched on all the fans. Pointing to the people sitting there,
they said, “They wanted us to do so and we have done it.” “I
see. What a great thing you have done! If they were feeling so
very sultry it would have been sufficient if only those fans
where they are sitting had been switched on. Why all this?”
asked Bhagavan. “They said that it would be very pleasant if
all the fans were switched on,” said the attendants. “Is that so?
What an amount of electric power will be consumed by these
fans! What a costly bill! Why this expense on our account?
Enough, enough. Stop that,” said Bhagavan. “They are asking
that they may be kept on until at least the Veda Parayana is
over,” said Krishnaswami. “Oh! Is that so? They are rich people
and so in their houses they can sit down with fans whose use
may cost ten times more than this. Why should we have this?
Why this show? The hand fan is there and the hands are
there. Stop them all,” said Bhagavan. At that, the attendants
switched off all the fans except the one above those people.

During the early days of my stay here, i.e. in 1941-42,
someone brought an electric fan and requested that it be used
by Bhagavan. “Why this fan? The ordinary fan is there. We
have hands. I will fan myself with it whenever necessary. Why
do I require all these things?” said Bhagavan. “Is it not some
trouble? If the electric fan is used there is no trouble
whatsoever,” said that devotee. “What is the trouble? If the
ordinary fan is used we get just as much breeze as we want.
The electric fan blows too much breeze and with a whizzing
noise. Moreover, some electric current is consumed. For that,
there will be a bill. Why should we make the office bear that
expense on our account?” said Bhagavan. “We have got it
here, Swami, with the permission of the office,” said the
devotee. “Oh, is that so? Then let them have the fan for
themselves. They are people who work and it is necessary for
them. Why should I need it?” said Bhagavan. The devotee
did not say anything further but went away, leaving the fan
there.
As it was a table fan, it was kept near Bhagavan’s sofa
and it used to be switched on by someone nearby whenever
it was sultry. Bhagavan would immediately say, “It is only
because of such things I had said you should not keep it
here at all. If you want a fan you can keep it near yourselves.”
And if nobody stopped it he used to stop it himself with the
aid of a small stick. When Bhagavan would not agree to the
use of even one fan, would he consent to the use of many
fans? Not only that, he will not allow anyone to fan him
even with an ordinary fan. If any one does so, he will say
that if it is so sultry, he too should serve the devotee by
fanning him. Last May, when the radium needles were
applied to Bhagavan’s hands and Venkataratnam and other
attendants were fanning him Bhagavan admonished them
a number of times.

(250) DESIRELESSNESS

Prev Next    5th June, 1949
I wrote to you in my letters of yesterday and the day
before about the disinclination of Bhagavan to use satin-
covered mattresses, pillows, fans and the like. You know, in
September 1946 the Golden Jubilee of Bhagavan’s Advent
at Arunachala was celebrated. About a month before those
celebrations the Maharani of Baroda sent by parcel post a
velvet shawl embroidered with silk and gold thread. The
office people sent it to Bhagavan through Rajagopala Iyer,
one of the office attendants. He showed it to Bhagavan and
wanted to spread it on the sofa, but Bhagavan would not
permit him to do so. When the devotee tried to place it under
Bhagavan’s feet, Bhagavan withdrew his feet and sat with
folded legs. Thereupon the devotee placed it over the pillow
on which Bhagavan reclined. Immediately, thereafter,
Bhagavan stopped leaning on it, moved to the middle of the
sofa and sat in padmasana pose without uttering a single word.

The devotee felt it was no use trying any further and so
he folded the shawl and took it back to the office. After he left,
Bhagavan sat as usual and said, “These are meant for those
who wear shirts, coats, turbans and appear in style, but why
do I require all these? If I have to sit on them, I feel like
sitting on prickly pears. According to the old saying, I have a
bare body and a bald head; of what use are these to me? This
towel itself is my silk shawl and my lace upper cloth.”
“In some places such things are being used. That is
why perhaps they have sent it,” said a devotee. “It may be
so. But what status have I to use them? I am a poor man.
For my status, even what I now have is too much. This sofa,
these mattresses, these pillows — why all these? You people
do not agree, but how happy would it be if I could spread
out this towel and sit on the floor!” said Bhagavan. “You say
even that towel should be no bigger than the present one!”
said Mudaliar. “Why a bigger one? It is half-a-yard broad
and three-quarters of a yard long. It is sufficient for drying
the body after bath, for spreading over the head if you walk
in the sun, for tying round the neck if it is cold and for
spreading on the floor to sit on. What more could we do
with a bigger one?” said Bhagavan.
Some rich people bring silver tumblers and plates and
request Bhagavan to use them. Bhagavan would not even
touch them, but would send them back to the office if received
through them, or give them back to the people if they are
brought direct to him. Knowing that such articles would not
be accepted, Janaki Ammal, the wife of Dr. Ganapati Iyer,
sent through a devotee for Bhagavan’s use wooden sandals
with silver fittings. Bhagavan touched them and seeing the
silver fittings remarked, “They are rich people. Sandals with
silver fittings are therefore suitable for them but not for us.
So, send them back to those people. Tell them, ‘Swami has
touched them and that is enough’. We have feet given to us
by God. Why these ornaments? Give back to them their
articles.” So saying he sent them back.
Let alone the question of wearing sandals with silver
fittings. He does not wear even ordinary wooden sandals. Even
in the height of summer, when the feet get scorched by heat,
he walks barefooted and refuses to use anything to protect
the feet. Sometime back, when the path leading to the Gosala
from the office was cemented and Bhagavan was walking on
it in the hot sun, some devotees, who could not see him
suffering thus, poured water along the path, but Bhagavan
stopped them saying, “Why are you wasting so much water
for my sake by pouring it over the ground? If you open a
shed for supplying drinking water to travellers, how much
more useful it will be! Why do two or three people waste their
time and water for my sake? Please don’t do it.” It was therefore
stopped but, instead, the whole passage was covered with a
pandal. Bhagavan used to say the same thing even if khus-
khus thatties (screens) were hung and water sprinkled on them.
For a great Thyagi and Mahapurusha like this, will there
be any desire for silver sandals, satin-cloth mattresses, silk-
covered pillows and other ornamental things? Why these
luxuries which curtail freedom? Vairagya is his ornament,

(251) THE IMPORTANCE OF YATRA AND PRADAKSHINA (PILGRIMAGE AND CIRCUMAMBULATION)

Prev Next    26th June, 1949
Bhagavan has not been keeping good health for some
time past. Troubled in my mind on that account and unable
to know what to do, I decided to go round the hill, not only
on Tuesdays as usual but also on Fridays and to pray to
Arunachaleswara for Bhagavan’s health. With that decision,
I went to Bhagavan on Thursday evening to tell him that I
was going round the hill the next morning, “Tomorrow? Is
it Tuesday?” asked Bhagavan.

“No. It is Friday,” I said. As if he had understood my
purpose, he said “Yes, yes.”
One of the devotees who had recently come and had
been staying for some time, asked Bhagavan, “Several people
here go round the hill frequently. What is its greatness?”
Bhagavan told him the following story:
“The greatness of this Giri Pradakshina has been described
at length in Arunachala Puranam. Lord Nandikesa asked Sadasiva
a similar question and Sadasiva narrated as follows: ‘To go round
this hill is good. The word ‘Pradakshina’ has a typical meaning.
The letter ‘Pra’ stands for removal of all kinds of sins; ‘da’ stands
for fulfilling the desires; ‘kshi’ stands for freedom from future
births; ‘na’ stands for giving deliverance through jnana. If by
way of Pradakshina you walk one step it gives happiness in this
world, two steps, it gives happiness in heaven, three steps, it
gives bliss of Satyaloka which can be attained. One should go
round either in mouna (silence) or dhyana (meditation) or japa
(repetition of Lord’s name) or sankeertana (bhajan) and thereby
think of God all the time. One should walk slowly like a woman
who is in the ninth month of pregnancy. It seems Amba who
was doing tapas here, went round the hill on the day of the
Krithikai star in the first quarter of the night. Immediately after
the darshan of the holy beacon, she became finally absorbed in
Lord Siva. It is stated that on the third day after the festival of
the Holy Beacon, Siva himself started for the Pradakshina with
all his followers. Really, it is difficult to describe the pleasure
and the happiness one gets by this Pradakshina. The body gets
tired, the sense organs lose their strength and all the activities
of the body become absorbed within. It is possible thus to forget
oneself and get into a state of meditation. As one continues to
walk, the body automatically gets harmonized as in the asana
state. The body therefore becomes improved in health. Besides
this, there are several varieties of medicinal herbs on the hill.
The air that passes over those herbs is good for the lungs. As
there is no vehicular traffic there is no worry about making
way for cars and buses. One can walk carefree according to
one’s wishes.
“It used to be very exciting during those days when we
were going for Pradakshina. We started whenever we felt like
it, especially if there was any festival day, we used to halt
whenever we felt it was late or we were tired, cook for
ourselves and eat. There was no anxiety whatsoever as there
was no stipulation that we should stop at any particular place.
Before railway travel came in, pilgrimages were all made on
foot. They never used to start with an idea of reaching a
particular place at a particular time, or that they should stop
for a particular period at any particular place. There is a
proverb saying that people who go to Kasi (Banaras) and
those who go to Kati (cremation ground) are equal. Only
those who have no hope of coming back would start for Kasi.
Carrying all their belongings with them, they used to walk
along immersed in dhyana, stop whenever they felt tired and
start again in due course. There used to be dharmasalas (rest
houses) at the outskirts of the villages so that there was no
need for those pilgrims to go into the village proper. Where
there were no dharmasalas there used to be temples, caves,
trees and piles of stones, which were available as places of
shelter for them. Those pilgrims became absorbed in their
Atma by walking with no other thought than that of God.
Giri Pradakshina is also the same thing. The body becomes
light and it walks of its own accord. There will not be the
feeling that we are walking. The dhyana that you cannot get
into while sitting, you get into automatically if you go for
Pradakshina. The place and the atmosphere there are like
that. However unable a person is to walk, if he once goes
round the hill he will feel like going again and again. The
more you go, the more the enthusiasm for it. It never
decreases. Once a person is accustomed to the happiness of
the Pradakshina, he can never give it up. Look at Nagamma!
She used to go round only once a week, on every Tuesday.
Now she is going around even on Fridays. She goes around
all alone in the dark without any fear whatsoever.”
“A sadhu by name Kannappa, it seems, goes round every
day,” said the devotee. “Yes, yes. He is a very old man. He
cannot see. So he starts every day at 8 o’clock in the night as
there will not be much cart traffic. He has a conch shell which
he blows as he goes. Hearing that sound, all people make
way for him. There are several devices for people who do
not have eyesight,” said Bhagavan.
“Is it a fact that when Bhagavan was going round the
hill with the devotees during the night he used to see groups
of Siddhas?” asked another. “Yes. All that is written in the
Biography.” So saying Bhagavan resumed silence.

(252) SASTRAS

Prev Next    2nd July, 1949
After Bhagavan came into the new hall it was decided
by the Sarvadhikari to keep the library in the old hall, and so
some big almirahs were made. It was also decided that the
library should be looked after by Govindarajula Subba Rao,
and that Venkataratnam should remain exclusively in the
service of Bhagavan. Venkataratnam handed over all the work
to Subba Rao and sat in the new hall with Bhagavan.

In the afternoon of the day before yesterday, at 3 o’clock
while returning from the Gosala Bhagavan saw the almirahs
that were being made and also the books that were spread
out in the old hall and then came into the new hall. While
sitting on the couch he looked at Venkataratnam and said,
“What, Assistant Librarian? Have you handed over charge
of everything and come here?” Venkataratnam replied in
the affirmative. With a view to remove any little regret about
it that Venkataratnam might be having in his mind, Bhagavan
remarked as follows: “Ancients have said that the
superabundance of book knowledge is the cause of the
rambling of the mind. That will not carry you to the goal.
Reading of Sastras and becoming pandits may give fame to a
person but they destroy the peace of mind which is necessary
for the seeker of truth and deliverance. A Mumukshu (a seeker
of deliverance) should understand the essence of the Sastras
but should give up the reading of Sastras as that is inimical
to dhyana (meditation). It is like accepting the grain and
discarding the chaff. There will be many big almirahs with
many books. How many of them can be read? There are so
many books and religions that one life is not enough to read
all the books relating to even one religion. Where then is the
time for practice? The more you read, the more you feel like
reading further. The result of all that is to go on discussing
with other people who have books and spend time thus, but
that will not lead to deliverance. What books had I seen and
what Vedanta discourses had I heard except to close my
eyes and remain peaceful and quiet during the first two years
of my coming here?”
A person who had come into the hall a little earlier,
said, “Swami, you must favour me by giving me that peace
for my mind.” Bhagavan replied with a smile, “Oho! Is that
so? First find out what is meant by the mind. If you enquire
thus, the mind itself will disappear. That which will be left is
peace itself. You will then know that what is always there is
what is called peace. Even the Vedas begin with ‘Shanti’ and
close with ‘Shanti’ (peace). Everyday the Vedas are being
recited here. Whenever they are recited, the words ‘Shantihi,
Shantihi, Shantihi’ will be repeated. But no one bothers to
find out the meaning of those words. If they understand the
meaning they would realise that what is begun with Shanti
and what is concluded with Shanti must have Shanti in between
also. The whole thing will be full of Shanti. Hence they must
be begun at a time when the mind is peaceful and quiet.”
Venkataratnam remarked, “Sankaracharya has said the
same thing in his ‘Atma Bodha’ when he described the Jnani
as Atmarama and Shanti as Sita:
tITvaR
maeha[Rv< hTva ragÖe;aid ra]san!,
yaegI zaiNt smayu ́ae ýaTmaramae ivrajte.
Having crossed the ocean of illusion and having killed the
demons of likes and dislikes, the yogi, now united to shanti
(peace), finds delight in the Self and so remains in his
own glory.
Atma Bodha, verse 50
It is this sloka, is it not?” “Yes,” said Bhagavan.
“Recently, a gentleman who came here for Bhagavan’s
darshan has written to me. It seems that, since his return he
is seeing a light and hearing a sound while sitting for dhyana.
He is unable to find out what it is. He has asked me to
mention this to Bhagavan and write to him your remarks, if
any,” said Venkataratnam.
“Whatever light is seen and whatever sound is heard,
there must be someone who sees and who hears. Ask him to
find out who that someone is. He should not worry about
these outside things. If he enquires about the someone who
sees, the thought of those outer things will completely
disappear. There will not be any care or concern whether
such things appear or disappear. They are not there without
the Self. None has any doubt about one’s own self. Leaving
such a certain thing as Self, people begin entertaining doubts
and undergo all sorts of troubles to clear those doubts. Let
him doubt the person who gets the doubts,” said Bhagavan.
“If all experiences disappear through the enquiry ‘Who
am I?’ is there any need of Sastras for a sadhaka?” asked
Venkataratnam. “If a person reads Sastras he can debate with
the pandits and thus feel satisfied, but they are of no use for
sadhana. Whenever any thought comes, enquire who gets
the thought. The answer to this is mouna (silence). Where
there is nothing else except one’s own self, whatever you see
or hear, that is Brahman. That is Atma and that is the ‘Self’,”
said Bhagavan.

(253) ADVAITA DRISHTI

Prev Next    10th July, l949
Recently an Andhra gentleman came here, discussed the
story of the deliverance of Gajendra in the Bhagavatam and
read out some padyas (verses) from the Bhagavatam written in
Telugu by Pothana. He then asked for Bhagavan’s opinion about
the ‘Sakshatkaram’ (divine vision) that Gajendra had. Bhagavan
said with a smile, “You see, Gajendra prayed that he might be
saved from death. In the padyas that you have read out, there is
description of God, saying that He is without any of the
attributes, such as birth, sin, form, action, destruction and other
qualities. It is also stated that He is omnipresent. That means
that he prayed to the Paramatma in all His fullness. When he
came to a state where he did not see anyone else except
Paramatma, it means that he sees only the Paramatma
everywhere. If that is so, who is it that causes pain and who is it
that is being pained? When the subject matter is thus so full,
what is the meaning of saying that God came out of a fort in a
garden in Vaikunta? What else is it except a bhavana (idea)?
You may call it Sakshatkaram or whatever you like.”
“If that is so, are all Sakshatkaras mere ideas?” asked the
devotee. “From the viewpoint of Dvaita, that is Sakshatkaram,
but from the view-point of Advaita, those are only bhavanas,”
said Bhagavan.

Sometime back, some Andhras who were going on a
pilgrimage came here and stayed for some days. Amongst
them a lady sang in the hall now and then the songs of
Bhadradri Ramadas. One day she sang the song beginning
with ‘Ikshvaka kulatilaka’. In that song it is stated that Ramadas
made this jewel and that jewel and it cost this much and that
much. After that, she sang the song wherein it is stated that
Ramadas made some ornaments which Sri Ramachandra
wore and went about proudly with them. When Bhagavan
heard this, he looked at us and said, “Did Sri Ramachandra
ask for those ornaments? It is all the devotee’s own desire.
Why then abuse Ramachandra?”
“If you want to abuse, you should abuse God only, it is
said,” remarked a devotee.
“That is all right. Appar also prayed to God abusing
him in the same manner. He however abused in a subtle
way. Apart from that, it is stated that ‘I have made this
ornament and that ornament’. Who is he to make that
ornament? It means that he is somebody different from God,”
said Bhagavan.
“So long as there is a God and a devotee, that feeling is
natural,” said the devotee.
“Yes, that is so as long as we have a Dvaita Drishti — a
feeling of duality; but in Advaita Drishti — a feeling of oneness
— you will not have all this. You are myself and I am yourself.
When such a feeling comes, who is the doer? What is it that
is being done?” said Bhagavan.
“That is called Parabhakti, is it not?” asked that devotee.
“Yes, yes,” said Bhagavan nodding his head and kept quiet

(254) JNANA YAGNAM

Prev Next    26th July, 1949
Gurram Subbaramayya came here the day before
yesterday morning. Whenever he comes, he talks to
Bhagavan all the time he is here. This morning also, while
speaking to Bhagavan as usual, he said, “As I was coming
here, I got down in Madras and went to the house of
Nagamma’s elder brother, D. S. Sastri. They were having a
discourse on the Gita at the time.”
Bhagavan said, “Yes. All of them came here before
having the discourses. What chapter are they reading now?”
Subbaramayya replied, “They are reading the fourth
chapter on “Jnana Yoga”. At the time I sat there, it was stated
that the karma that a person does after attaining jnana is all
Brahmakarma. Everything is Yagna. To illustrate that point, the
slokas from 25 to the 30 of chapter IV of the Gita were read
and it was explained how the various sacrifices done by yogis
merge into Brahman. The word ‘Juhvati’ was used to indicate
that everything is consumed by the sacrificial fire so as to merge
ultimately in Brahman. The commentator said that ‘Shrotradeen
indriyanyanye samyamagnishu juhvati’ meant that they are
controlling the indriyas (senses). I was not able to understand
it properly. Bhagavan may be pleased to explain it clearly.”
Bhagavan, who was till then reclining, sat up and said:
“
ïaeÇadInIiNÔya{yNye s
zBdadIiNv;yanNye #iNÔyai¶;u juþit.

Others offer as sacrifice their senses of hearing etc. into
the fires of self-control. Other yogis again offer sound and
other objects of perception into the fires of the senses.
Gita, IV: 26
“The method of performing these sacrifices was first
explained as above. Again,
svaR[IiNÔykmaRi[ àa[kmaRi[ capre,
AaTms


Others sacrifice all the functions of their senses and the
function of the vital airs into the fire of Yoga, in the shape
of self-control, which is kindled by wisdom.
Gita, IV: 27
“This means that the actions of the indriyas and of the
vital airs are sacrificed in the fire of samyama. Having said
this, it has further been stated that vital airs like prana, are
sacrificed into Apana, Apana into Vyana and in this way one
thing is sacrificed into another. Not only the vital airs and
the senses; childhood is sacrificed into boyhood, boyhood
into youth, youth into middle age and middle age into old
age. So also the inhaling and exhaling of vital airs. Thus is
the one sacrificed into the other, and this is a continuous
process. This happens without one being conscious of it. That
which is done consciously is called Jnana Yagna (Wisdom
Sacrifice),” said Bhagavan.
Another devotee joining in the conversation asked, “It
is said that for doing that Jnana Yagna the life’s impurities
must be destroyed. How to destroy them?”
Bhagavan replied, “You want to know how?
AaTmanmri[< k«Tva à[v< caeÄrari[<,
}aninmRwna_yasaTpaz< dhit p.


Kaivalya Upanishad
It means that the Self is to be made the lower ‘Arani’*
and ‘Pranavam’ (Om), the upper Arani and by rubbing them
constantly one against the other, thus causing by friction
the fire of jnana between the two; the Brahma Jnani burns
away the bond known as ignorance. If one understands
this and puts it into practice, life’s impurities get destroyed,”
said Bhagavan.
The devotee said, “But Bhagavan always tells us that
Self-enquiry of ‘Who am I?’ is the most important, is it not?”
Bhagavan replied, “It is the same thing. For enquiry
there must be somebody. There is the person and there is
* Arani means a twig of the ‘Sami tree’ used for kindling the
sacred fire by attrition.
the Self. They are known as the lower Arani and the upper
Arani. The enquiry itself is the attrition. As one goes on
continuously with this attrition the fire called Vijnana gets
generated and the bond of ignorance that the Self is different
from the object gets burnt out. That means the life’s
impurities get destroyed. Then the Self remains as the real
‘Self’. That is ‘Moksha’. It is this, that is called Jnana Yagna or
some such thing.” So saying Bhagavan assumed silence.

(255) PRANAYAMAM (BREATH CONTROL)

Prev Next    2nd August, 1949
A devotee told me that he could not hear properly the
questions you asked Bhagavan when you came here two days
back and the replies Bhagavan gave. He therefore requested
me to write out the whole conversation and show it to him.

Accordingly I wrote it down. I am now sending it to you along
with other letters so that you can see if it is all right.
At 4 p.m. on the 28th of last month you sat near
Bhagavan when you had a discussion as follows:
You: “In Gayatri it is stated ‘Dhiyo yonah prachodayat’.
What is its meaning?”
Bhagavan: “Dhi means buddhi (intellect); yah-that, lustre;
nah-our; dhiyah-the intellect; prachodayat-teaches. That is the
meaning, is it not? It is by the Intellect that the indriyas (senses)
are induced to all action.”
You: “For sadhana (practice) is pranayama necessary?”
Bhagavan: “Yes, yes. Before starting any work you begin
with pranayama, don’t you? One says, ‘Achamya, pranayamya’.
That means you begin with achamana,* then gather the pranas
(vital airs), and proceed with sankalpa (i.e., the purpose of
the worship) and recite the time, date, place, etc. You must
first do pranayama and then only do the Gayatri Japa. It is
the same thing for every Japa. You must first do pranayama.
But then you should not stop there. If you keep the vital
breath under control and then do japa continuously for a
long time, you will realise what japa really is.”
You: “Some say there is not much use in practising
pranayama.”
Bhagavan: “That is so. For immature minds, it is stated
that they should control the breath to meditate or to do japa,
but for mature minds, meditation is the main thing. If one
inhales and retains the breath and thereby tries to control
the mind, one gets choked and upset on that account.”
You: “That means it will be like ‘Jala Pakshivat’ (a bird in
a net).”
Bhagavan: “Yes, that is so. But for an immature person,
the mind cannot be controlled unless he practises breath
control. That is why it is said that it (control of breath) should
be practised until you get control of the mind; even after
that you should not stop it. For mature persons the control
of breath comes of its own accord. That is because what mainly
is, is the act of breath. It goes on of its own accord. The
mind remains concentrated whether you do japa or meditate.
When that happens, the breath becomes controlled
automatically. All the sadhanas are for the concentration of
the mind.”
You: “When one meditates, the whole body appears
overheated. Why so? And is it good?”
* Achamana means taking three sips of water before religious
ceremonies from the palm of the hand.
Bhagavan: “Yes. Would it not be so? When the mind
gets concentrated, the act of breathing stops involuntarily.
When that happens, the body does feel overheated. What of
that? In due course one gets accustomed to it.”
Your wife, who was there at the time, took up the thread
of the conversation and asked, “Are japa and dhyana the same
thing?...”
Bhagavan said, “Yes. As you go on doing japa continuously
for a long time, you will know what japa really is. That is called
dhyana. When vritti (movement or action of mind) becomes
audible (sabda) it is called japa: when there is vritti alone, it is
called dhyana and knowing of the Thing is called jnana.”

(256) SIVAM–SUNDARAM (BLISS AND BEAUTY)

Prev Next    20th September, 1949
The wife of the Zamindar of Peddapavani, a frequent
visitor to the Ashram, came with her children last month.

She stayed for a month and went away a couple of days
ago. One evening, after Veda Parayana, she approached
Bhagavan and said, “Sometime back Bhagavan gave me
darshan in my dream and gave me upadesa. After that, I
realised my Self, but it is not steady. What should I do?”
Bhagavan: (amused) “Where has it gone without being
steady? Who is it that is not steady?”
Zamindarini: “That (realisation) is not steady.”
Bhagavan: “Where has it gone without being steady.”
Zamindarini: “That experience which I had does not
remain steady because of bodily ailment and family worries.”
Bhagavan: “I see. Say so. Those that come, come. Those
that go, go. We remain as we are.”
Zamindarini: “You must bestow on me the strength to
remain as I am.”
Bhagavan: “You have realised the Self, have you not? If
that is so, all the others disappear of their own accord.”
Zamindarini: “But they have not disappeared.”
Bhagavan (smiling): “I see. They will disappear. Vasanas
have for a long time built their nests within. If we realise
that they are there, they will disappear gradually.”
Zamindarini: “Bhagavan must bestow on me the
strength to make them disappear.”
Bhagavan: “We will see.”
The next day about the same time she stood humbly in
the presence of Bhagavan and said, “Bhagavan, it is not
possible for a married woman to stay on in the presence of
the Guru for any length of time, can she?”
Bhagavan: “The Guru is where one is.”
Zamindarini: (still unconvinced) “Should one look upon
the whole world as Brahman or should one look upon one’s
own Self as the most important?”
Bhagavan: “We exist. And the world is Brahman itself.
What then is there to look upon as Brahman?”
She was taken aback and stood still. Whereupon
Bhagavan looked at her compassionately and explained
further: “As you know we undoubtedly exist. The world also
exists as Brahman. That being so, what is there that one
could see as Brahman? We should make our vision as the
all-pervading Brahman. Ancients say, ‘Drishtim jnanamayim
kritva pasyeth brahmamayam jagat’. The world is as we see it. If
we see it as material, it is material. If we see it as Brahman, it
is Brahman. That is why we must change our outlook. Can
you see the picture in a film without the screen? If we remain
as we are, everything adjusts itself to that attitude.”
Overjoyed at this and fully satisfied, she came out and
sat on the step on the verandah which is opposite to
Bhagavan’s couch. Bhagavan was sitting on the couch in his
characteristic pose, silent as usual and with a smile on his
face. Looking at the radiant face of Bhagavan, she said
involuntarily, “Ah! How beautiful Bhagavan is!” A devotee
who heard the exclamation approached Bhagavan and said,
“She is saying how beautiful Bhagavan is.” With a slight nod
of his head Bhagavan said, “Sivam Sundaram”* See how
pregnant with meaning that expression is?

(257) THE MUDALIAR GRANNY

Prev Next    24th September, 1949
The Mudaliar Granny who, like Echamma, was bringing
food to Bhagavan daily, gave up her body last night and got
merged in the lotus feet of Sri Ramana. She was buried in
Gounder’s compound this afternoon. Her native place is a
village called Thillayadi near Karaikal. She belonged to the
Thondaimandala Mudaliar caste. Her name was
Alankaratthammani. She had a son by name Subbiah
Mudaliar and a daughter-in-law Kamakshi. The three used
to spend their time in the service of an old sannyasi. That
sannyasi passed away sometime in 1908 or 1909. During his
last days, when all of them implored him to tell them about
their future it seems he told them that their future was at
Arunachala.

* Sivam-Sundaram means that which is beautiful is the form of
Atma, Satyam-Sivam-Sundaram and Sat-Chit-Anandam are the names
given to describe Atman or Brahman.
Subsequently, in 1910, it appears she came here along
with her son and daughter-in-law. By then Echamma had
been supplying Bhagavan food every day. In the same way
Alankaratthammani also began supplying food. In due
course, she began giving food now and then to the devotees
also. The son and daughter-in-law used to help her in the
work. After some time the son renounced everything, took
to Sanyasa at the Tiruppananthal Mutt and began wandering
about as a Tamburan (wandering minstrel). Kamakshi, the
daughter-in-law, concentrated all her attention in the service
of Bhagavan with single-minded devotion, without being in
the least worried over her husband’s desertion. She passed
away sometime in 1938-1939.
The Granny had no money and none to help her in the
domestic work in the house. Seeing her desolate condition,
and taking pity on her, Niranjananandaswami, Kunjuswami,
Ranganatha Gounder and others advised her saying, “Now
you are an old woman. You can no longer worry yourself
about this service of offering food to Bhagavan. The Ashram
is giving shelter to several people. So you eat here and sit in
peace in Bhagavan’s presence with closed eyes; or if you so
desire we will send you food to your place. Eat and stay at
home.” She replied, “Whatever the difficulties, I will not give
up this holy task. If I do not have money, I will go to ten
houses, feeling my way with my stick, beg for food, offer it to
Bhagavan and then only will I eat. I cannot keep quiet.” So
saying, and with tears in her eyes, the woman went away.
Kunjuswami, Gounder, and other devotees took pity on her
and gave her financial help so as to enable her to continue
her offerings to Bhagavan. It was only after that, that
Rangaswami Gounder built two houses in the place where
Kunjuswami is now staying with a stipulation that
Kunjuswami can occupy them during his life time, and after
him these should be given away for the use of sadhus. He
endowed some property also for their maintenance and
arranged for this old woman to stay there. In her last days,
her son came to her and helped her in her offerings to
Bhagavan, even though he had renounced the world by
becoming a sannyasi and a wandering minstrel. In this
manner, the life of a devotee who had worshipped Bhagavan
for about forty years without failing even for a single day in
her self-imposed duty has come to a close.
Granny took great liberties with Bhagavan. During the
early days of my stay here she used to bring food and serve it
herself to Bhagavan. She used to place on his leaf a handful
of curry and a handful of cooked rice. One day, Bhagavan
reprimanded her saying, “If you serve so much, how can I eat
it?” With great familiarity, she said, “How much is it, Swami?
It is only very little.” “There are several other things also to
eat. Should not my stomach contain them all?” said Bhagavan.
“It is all a matter of the mind, Swami.” So saying, she served
him as usual and left. Laughing at it, Bhagavan told people
near about him, “Do you see? She is paying me back in my
own coin (my upadesa).”
For the last two or three years, she had been sending
food through somebody, and had given up serving it to
Bhagavan personally as her eyesight was failing. It seems
some one told her that Bhagavan’s body had become very
much emaciated. She was therefore feeling that it was all
due to her ceasing to serve food personally, and one day
she came to see Bhagavan. She approached him, and
shading her eyes with her palm, said with great feeling of
sorrow, “Oh! How reduced has the body become!” “Who
told you, Granny? I am all right. What you have heard is
all false,” said Bhagavan. The old woman came to the place
in the hall where women sit and sat down in the front row.
After a while, Bhagavan rose from his seat to go out. When
Bhagavan gets up, as you know, all the rest of us also get
up. She stood at the doorway leaning against the door. When
Bhagavan came near, he said with a laugh, “Granny, have I
become reduced? See how well I am! It is a pity you are not
able to see.” So saying, he went out.
Of late, she has not been able to see at all. Even so,
when about four months ago she expressed a wish to see
Bhagavan, a devotee led her to Bhagavan’s presence. When
a person near Bhagavan said, “Granny, you have no eyesight
to see Bhagavan. Why have you come?” She replied,
“Though I cannot see Bhagavan’s body, my body can be seen
by Bhagavan and that is more than enough for me.” The
agony she experienced when she heard that an operation
was performed on Bhagavan’s arm for the tumour that had
grown on it, is indescribable. When Echamma passed away,
Bhagavan remarked that Mudaliar Granny was still alive.
She too has now passed away. You see, Bhagavan felt relieved
because a great responsibility was off his hands now. She is
indeed lucky, but somehow I could not help grieving over
her death.

(258) PILGRIMAGE TO TIRUCHULI

Prev Next    12th November, 1949
When I came back here after a two week’s stay with you
in Madras, I found that the condition of Bhagavan’s body
had changed a good deal for the worse. Hence, with a view
to give him some rest, no one was allowed to remain in his
presence except during the time of the Veda Parayana. I could
not therefore write to you about the questions of devotees
and the replies of Bhagavan as they have become rare. As I
was troubled over it, I began going through my old papers
when I found the notes I had taken about incidents that
happened in Bhagavan’s presence and the remarks made by
Bhagavan from time to time. The notes were written before
I began writing these letters to you. I am therefore copying
the notes and sending them on to you.

You have already heard of the installation of the photos
of Bhagavan and his parents in Sundara Mandiram in
Tiruchuli where Bhagavan was born. That was done some
time in June or July 1944 when, with the help of devotees,
the building was acquired and taken possession of by the
Ashram authorities. With a view to repairing the house, the
Sarvadhikari started with some devotees on 17-1-1945 for
Tiruchuli. Before he actually left, he invited us all to
accompany him, saying that there would be several travel
facilities for the occasion. Alamelu Amma, Bhagavan’s sister,
and some other women and men also went. Though I was
unwilling to leave Bhagavan’s presence, who is to me the
personification of God, I was prevailed upon to go with them.
As we were about twenty devotees for this journey, it was
interesting in its own way.
To go to Tiruchuli, one has to get down at Madurai
and go by bus for about thirty miles via Aruppukottai. As
the Sarvadhikari had some work to do at Madurai, we had to
halt there for two days. We were put up in the house of
Krishnamurthy Iyer. At night, all of us who came with the
Sarvadhikari, offered worship at the Meenakshi Temple and
also saw the idols of the sixty-three saints before whom
Bhagavan, in his boyhood, overwhelmed with devotion, used
to stand frequently, with eyes full of tears. The next morning,
some of us went to the temple of Perumal (Vishnu) where in
the three storeys of the building, Lord Varadaraja reigns in
three different poses, and we offered worship. Thereafter
we began enquiring about the holy house where Bhagavan
attained jnana (knowledge of the Self). A devotee of Bhagavan
and his boyhood friend joined us and took us that evening
to the house, No. 11 in Chokkanatha Street on the western
side. We entered that old house and went into the upstairs
room which was by the side of the staircase. “This is the
room where Bhagavan realised his Self,” said the people
there. They also pointed out the place where he sat at
11 o’clock in the morning of the day he left Madurai, where
he had to write an imposition from Bain’s Grammar given
to him as a punishment by the teacher and where Bhagavan
got immersed in meditation. My heart was filled with
devotion, my eyes with tears and my voice got choked. I was
in a state where I could not know whether it was grief or
happiness that overcame me. In the eleventh verse of the
“Supplement to the Forty Verses on Reality” Bhagavan had
written as under:
Who is born? Know that he alone is born who, enquiring
‘Whence am I born?’ is born in the Source of his being.
The Supreme Sage is eternally born, again and again, day
after day.
As Sri Ramana was born in the way described above for
the welfare of the world, how holy and blessed that place
must be!
It is from this small house that Bhagavan started,
renouncing everything, after leaving in the almirah by his
side a note which he wrote after a hearty meal, and sitting in
an easy chair. The provocation was a remark made by his
elder brother which was by way of a reprimand, saying, “Why
all these things (writing and study) when a person is like this
(sits still)?” Bhagavan was at the time deeply immersed in
meditation. It looked as if Lord Arunachala did not wish
him to remain for more than six weeks in the place where
he attained jnana. Lord Buddha attained jnana after living
in a forest for six years and doing penance day and night. It
is that place which is known as Buddha Gaya and is now a
place of pilgrimage. In the case of Ramana Bhagavan,
however, he attained jnana without any effort in an ordinary
house in a narrow lane in the centre of a city and in a small
room surrounded by all his relatives. How strange!
I was grieved to find such a holy place remaining
unknown, though it was here that Bhagavan changed from
a young boy into an Atmananda Ramana (a Ramana who
enjoys the bliss of Self-knowledge); the place wherefrom he
started with the Brahmastram known as ‘Who am I?’, to go to
Arunachala and vanquish the myth about the greatness of
pandits who go on arguing but have no practical experience.
However, I felt confident that, with Bhagavan’s grace, this
place also would become a place of pilgrimage like the
Sundara Mandiram in Tiruchuli. I prostrated with devotion
in the room, went on to the terrace at the side and went
down the staircase. There I met an old woman. Her name is
Subbamma, aged seventy-five. She told us that she was there
in the same street when Bhagavan went away on his travels
and told us some stories about his boyhood. We took leave
of her in due course and came back to our lodgings.
Next morning we started by bus, passed through
Aruppukkottai and, as we were approaching Tiruchuli, we
first saw the Gopuram of the temple of Bhuminatheswara.
After passing by the temple and its compound wall, we
reached Sundara Mandiram where the bus stopped. We all
got down, entered the house where Bhagavan was born and,
on seeing the picture of Sri Ramana seated in the padmasana
pose in between the pictures of his parents we prostrated
before it with emotions of great joy. We and the people that
had come to see us, numbering about forty, had our meals
in that house. Several others who came later while we were
taking rest began saying that the house used to be full like
that during the days of Sundaram Iyer.
During the three days that we were there we bathed in
the Koundinya River, had the darshan of Kaleswara,
worshipped Bhuminatha with his consort Sahayavalli, went
round Pralayarudra, prostrated before Bhairavi and saw all
those places where Bhagavan had spent his boyhood days.
Subsequently among those who came from Tiruvannamalai,
some went to Rameswaram on pilgrimage; the Sarvadhikari
with his associates stayed back on account of some work;
and I alone neither stayed there nor went to Rameswaram
but came to Madurai by the night of the 22nd, started again
the next day and so reached the lotus feet of Bhagavan.
Even before I came, people here came to know about the
house in the Chokkanatha Street through a letter written by
Krishnamurthy Iyer. All the devotees enquired about it and
were pleased on hearing the details from me. It is only after
that, that the Ashram purchased the house with the financial
help of the Wanaparti Raja. The joy I felt when I related the
details of my journey was beyond description, even much
greater than what I felt when I actually saw them. What is
more, Bhagavan, while enquiring whether I had seen this
and that place, told me a number of events about his
boyhood. I noted down some of them as they were not in
the biography. I shall write to you about them in another
letter.

(259) BOYHOOD DAYS

Prev Next    14th November, 1949
The morning of the day on which I returned from
Tiruchuli passed off with enquiries about the welfare of all
the people. I went into Bhagavan’s presence in the afternoon
a little earlier than usual, that is, by about 2 o’clock. As soon
as I prostrated and got up Bhagavan asked me, “Did you
have a bath in the Shoola Theertham?”
I: “No. The water in it is not quite good now. We bathed
in tank which was at a little distance from there.”
Bhagavan: “Yes. The water will not be so good at this
time of the year. In the month of Magha, on the day of the
star Magha, it swells and the water rises. The Abhisheka festival
of the Deity is celebrated on that day, that is, on the 10th day
of the Brahmotsavam. That day, the Deity is brought to the
Mandapam and the Abhishekam is done with the water of the
Trisula Theertha. After the Abhishekam is over, all the people
bathe in that tank. In my boyhood days, all of us used to join
together and draw on the steps some signs in order to see
how much the water rose everyday. It used to be amusing.

The rising of the water used to start ten days earlier and
used to submerge the steps at the rate of one step per day
and become full by the full moon day. To us, it was great
fun. Some people have said that the water was not rising
properly of late. Our people went there last year to test it
and found that it was rising properly. They were thus satisfied
that what has been stated in the puranas was not untrue.”
I: “People say that on that day Ganga, Yamuna and
Saraswati also come there. Is that so?”
Bhagavan: “That is so. It has been mentioned thus in
the Sthalapurana (puranam of the place). As soon as the
Abhisheka of the Swami is over, the water goes down at the
rate of one step per day. We used to play in the Kalyana
Mandapam which is by the side of the temple. The classes of
our school were also held there for some time. You have
seen it, haven’t you?”
I: “Yes. I have seen it. It seems that one Mr. Muthirulappa
Mudali is Bhagavan’s boyhood-friend. He showed us all those
places. I have seen also the Telugu people who were living to
the right of your house. They have kept a photo of Bhagavan
and are worshipping it.”
Bhagavan: “Oh! Those people! In those days I used to be
in their house for the major portion of the day. People who were
older than myself and those of my age have all passed away by
now. Only one of them, who is younger than myself, is still alive.
I got accustomed to talking Telugu by talking with them.”
I: “Is that how you got into the habit of addressing your
father ‘Nayana’, as the Telugus do?”
Bhagavan: “No. That was through Lakshmana Iyer. He
knew Telugu very well. He taught me to call father ‘Nayana’.
After I began calling father ‘Nayana’ all the people got used
to calling him ‘Nayana’. Lakshmana Iyer was very fond of
me. While all were calling me Venkataraman, he alone used
to call me ‘Ramana’ and ‘Ramani’. Ultimately that name
became permanent.”
Rajagopala Iyer: Did Ganapati Sastri know about this
when he gave Bhagavan the name ‘Ramana Maharshi?’
Bhagavan: “No. How could he know? Long afterwards,
during some conversation, I myself told him about this. That’s
all.”
I: “Was Lakshmana Iyer living in the house to the left
of your house?”
Bhagavan: “No, no. He was living for some time in the
left portion of our house. He came there because he was
transferred to that place. He was employed for a long time
in Andhra Desa, and that is how he was able to speak Telugu
well. He was afraid that he might forget it, and so, used to
speak to me in Telugu only. The family of Karpura Sundara
Bhattar, who now performs pujas in our house, were living
even then in the house next to ours. The father of Karpura
Sundara Bhattar is still alive. You saw him, didn’t you?”
I: “Yes. I saw him. He has become very old.”
Bhagavan: “He is, however, two or three years younger
than myself. He had two or three stepbrothers older than
myself. They used to tease him always. One day he got a
sugarcane and a knife, and as he could not cut it himself, he
requested his brothers to help him, but they went away
without heeding his request. He began weeping. I felt sorry
for him. I took the sugarcane and tried to cut it. My finger
got cut and began to bleed. Even so, I felt sorry for him
because he was weeping and was a little fellow, so somehow
I managed to cut the cane into pieces. I tied my finger with
a wet cloth; the bleeding, however did not stop. I was called
for food as it was meal time. I went and sat but could not use
my hand for mixing the food; father mixed it for me. He
had my finger bandaged afterwards. He enquired and found
out what had happened. That cut did not heal up for about
a month.”
I: “So help and sympathy have been natural to Bhagavan
from boyhood itself?”
Bhagavan: “That is all right. What is there in that?” So
saying and changing the topic, Bhagavan said again, “They
are priests, you see. So, when it was their turn to do the puja
of the Kalayar Temple, they used to prepare the food at
home and send it to the temple through the boys. Sometimes
I used to go there with the boys. We used to bathe in the
Koundinya River, pour a vessel-full of water on the Linga in
the temple, offer the food by way of Nivedana and then eat
it. The children in the Pallematam, a village adjacent to the
temple, used to join us there. We used to play together till
nightfall and then go home.”
I: “Sundaramurthi used to live there, didn’t he?”
Bhagavan: “Yes. He went up on the Jyotirvanam(vehicle
of Light) from there only.”
I: “What did you do when the river was full? Was there
another way?”
Bhagavan: “No. That is the only way. But then the river
usually had water only up to the waist. If at any time there
were floods, we used to go by boat. On such occasions the
boys were not sent. The elders themselves used to go. The
floods used to subside in a few days. Did you not bathe
there?”
I: “We did bathe. We do not know why, but the water had
some bad smell and so it was no good for drinking.”
Bhagavan: “That is true. The water is no good for
drinking. As it is supposed to have some sulphur in it which is
good for skin diseases, people bathe in it. That’s all. It is stated
in one of the puranas that a king by name Somaseethala bathed
in it and got cured of leprosy. Once when I had an itch, mother
made me bathe in it every day. That is a jivavahini (perennial),
a river with water flowing in it throughout the year. Even in
the worst summer, water will be flowing in some corner or
other. It seems that when Koundinya was doing tapas in that
place, there was no water and so he prayed to Siva for it. It
was then that the river was born as a perennial stream and
flowed under the name ‘Papahari’ (destroyer of sins). As it was
born for the sake of Koundinya, it was also known as
Koundinya River.”
I: “It is stated in Ramana Leela, that that place is known
as Koundinya Kshetra. Is it so?”
Bhagavan: “Yes, yes. As Koundinya performed tapas at
that place, somebody wrote that Jnanasambandha was born
into their family. That is also stated in the Ramana Leela.”
I: “If that is so, Sambandar belongs to the Koundinya
Gothra?”
Bhagavan: “Yes. That is why our Venkatakrishnayya wrote
down his name in the Ramana Leela as ‘Krishna Koundinya.’
He wrote that Bhagavan was born in Koundinya Kshetra, the
river is Koundinya, the chief disciple Ganapati Muni is a
Koundinya. Several people think that Bhagavan in his previous
birth was Jnanasambandar, as Jnanasambandar was Koundinya
and all Koundinyas are Vasishtas and all people of the Vasishta
family are Advaitins, and so Swami belongs to that family. That
is how it is stated in Ramana Leela. ‘I wrote the biography of
Ramana and so I am a Koundinya; so we all belong to the same
family tree, the same Advaitin family’. That is how Krishnayya
writes in the biography.” So saying, Bhagavan smiled.
I: “Oh! That is the theory?”
Bhagavan: “Yes. That is so. Ganapati Sastri and his
disciples write their gothra first. Krishnayya is one of the
disciples. That is also another reason.”
A devotee: “That Kshetra Puranam (purana of the place)
has not been written in detail.”
Bhagavan: “No. It seems it is mentioned in a portion of
Skanda Puranam itself. There is a manuscript in Sanskrit and
also, a brief puranam in Tamil. In Jyotirvana Mahatmyam also,
there are some stories here and there in Tamil, relating to the
kshetra. It would be good if somebody were to put them all
together and write them in prose.”
Rajagopala Iyer: “Viswanatha Brahmachari might
perhaps do it?”
Bhagavan: “Who knows? He must agree to look into all
those puranams and write it.”
Devotee: “We should tell him and see.”
Bhagavan: “All right. Do it.”
As soon as Viswanatha Brahmachari came that evening,
Bhagavan told him with a smile that all the devotees felt that
it would be good if he wrote the Trisula Pura Mahatmyam
(Tiruchulipuranam) in prose. It was only after this that
Viswanatha Brahmachari went through all the relative
puranas, with the help of Bhagavan, translated the relative
portions and wrote the Trisula Pura Mahatmyam in Tamil
prose. It was immediately published. Naganarya wrote it in
verse in Telugu. That has not been published yet.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(260) HELP FOR GOOD WORKS

Prev Next    21st November, 1949
You remember in March-April 1946, I had written the
Telugu translation of the conversation between Vithoba and
Jnaneswar contained in Bhakta Vijayam. That happened under
peculiar circumstances. In 1944, ever since Manu Subedar
came here and left and the English translation of the debate
between a Siddha and a Sadhaka had been sent to him by a
devotee, I have been inclined to translate it into Telugu. When
Subbaramayya and Venkatakrishnayya were here I asked
them about it in Bhagavan’s presence. “You can speak Tamil
very well,” they said. “It would be better for you to have the
Tamil text read out by somebody and write it yourself, instead
of our translating it from English.” So saying they entrusted
the work to me and went their own way.

Noticing this, Bhagavan one day told Muruganar about
it in my presence. In the evening when Bhagavan went out,
Muruganar looked at me and said, “From what Bhagavan
has said now, it appears that you will have a lot of work to do
with Tamil literature. Why don’t you learn Tamil? I would
not ask you to learn it, if it were any other language. Normally
Bhagavan writes and speaks in Tamil only. That is why I am
suggesting that you learn it.” I took it as Bhagavan’s orders.
Accordingly I obtained a copy of Balabodhini, a Tamil-Telugu
dictionary which is in the library, wrote down the alphabet
by myself slowly by frequent reference to the text,
superscribed the letters over and over again and, in a week’s
time learnt to read and write. I did not care to read primary
lessons about the dog and the fox, but asked the librarian to
give me a copy of Bhakta Vijayam. He did so. When he was
giving it to me, Bhagavan looked at it and said, “Have you
learnt, to read Tamil?” I said, “I learnt a little of it,” and told
him all that had happened. Saying it was all right and good,
Bhagavan asked me why I had taken Bhakta Vijayam in the
very beginning. I told him that I had chosen devotional
stories as they would be interesting to read. Bhagavan asked
me if I would like to read the debate between Vithoba and
Jnaneswar. When I expressed my willingness to do so, he
asked me to fetch the book saying that he would show me
the portion concerned. Accordingly I got him the book
whereupon he picked out the relevant portion and marked
it with red ink. He casually enquired whether I would
translate it into Telugu. I told him that I had taken it merely
to read and I was not sure that I could understand it
sufficiently well to be able to translate it. Then he said that I
could do it but I should seek the help of some Tamilian if I
wanted to translate it into Telugu.
Subsequently I told Viswanatha Brahmachari about
Bhagavan’s suggestion and requested him to help me, to
which he agreed. He kept, however, putting it off. Some
days passed like that. One evening he came to me suddenly
and said, “Shall we do the translation without telling
Bhagavan? If we tell him he would ask for it and then correct
it, thereby straining himself unduly. We would thereby be
giving avoidable trouble to Bhagavan in his delicate health.
What do you say?” I told him that the work ought somehow
to be completed. Things would take their own course and
that we should not worry over anything. We thereupon began
the work and went on with it continuously till 10 p.m. we
completed it. You know what happened in the meantime?
As it was the bright half of the month, several Europeans
wanted to go round the hill in the moonlight. So, at 1 p.m.,
they went to Bhagavan and requested him to give them the
help of some one who knew the path. Looking at the people
near him, Bhagavan said that it would be good if
Viswanathan was sent with them as he knew English. So he
was sent for. People went one after another to Palakothu
and searched everywhere, but could not find him anywhere.
Bhagavan wondered as to where he could have gone. No
one could give any reliable information. Subsequently people
were sent to all the houses in Ramana Nagar to which he
was in the habit of going; still he could be found nowhere.
Whereupon Bhagavan sent someone else as a guide to the
Europeans.
When Viswanathan returned to his room after 10 p.m.
his neighbours told him about what had happened. Thinking
it was no longer possible to avoid telling Bhagavan,
Viswanathan woke up early morning and went straight to
Bhagavan. No sooner did Bhagavan see him than he asked
whether he had gone to town the night before, as he was not
to be found anywhere in Ramana Nagar. Viswanathan told
him the facts. On hearing them, Bhagavan remarked that
the people had not gone to Nagamma’s to search for him as
he was not accustomed to going there. He then enquired if
he was reading anything there. What could he say? He could
not help telling the truth. After learning that the Vithoba-
Jnaneswar discussion had been translated completely,
Bhagavan said with a laugh, “I see. So that was it! Anyway, a
good work has been completed. For a long time Nagamma
has been asking people to translate it into Telugu. There is
nothing wrong in what has been done. It is after all a good
work. It does not matter if I was not told beforehand. But
could you not have told the people in the next room? See
how many people searched for you and felt worried,” said
Bhagavan.
Next morning I went to the Ashram at 7.30 as usual. As
soon as he saw me, Bhagavan began laughing to himself. I
could not understand why. As soon as I had prostrated and
got up, he asked me if it was a fact that the translation work
was completed the previous night. I was taken aback and
could not reply. Then Bhagavan told me that he had learnt
it from Viswanathan early in the morning and pointed
towards him. When I looked at Viswanathan, he smiled and
said nothing. Then Bhagavan asked me for the copy. When
I told him it was yet to be fair copied. Bhagavan told me that
I could do it at my leisure.
When Bhagavan went out, Viswanatha Brahmachari
told me all that had happened and said, “We wanted to
translate it quietly without anybody’s knowledge but every
one has come to know about it now. Who can hoodwink
Bhagavan? When he himself is asking for the copy, there is
nothing for us to be afraid of now. Write out the fair copy
and give it to him.”
Bhagavan enquired every now and then about the fair
copy, and when I gave it to him ultimately, he returned it to
me duly corrected. You know all that happened subsequently.
Bhagavan suggested that it should be published as a
supplement to Part I of the Letters from Ramanasramam and
you agreed to it. Thus, you see, Bhagavan always helps
people when they want to do any good work.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(261) DECEPTIVE APPEARANCES

Prev Next    8th December, 1949
One afternoon in 1944, when devotees were conversing
about sundry matters in Bhagavan’s presence, the topic of
deceptive appearances and talks came up for discussion.

Addressing Bhagavan, a devotee said, “Some people put on
all sorts of false appearances to deceive the world.”
Bhagavan said, “Yes. Not some, but many. What of that?
If people put on false appearances, it is their own minds
that get troubled ultimately. They begin to be afraid of what
others would think of them and so their minds become their
own enemies. If people think of deceiving others by putting
on false appearances they themselves get deceived ultimately.
They think, ‘We have planned and have deceived others and
thereby have shown great cleverness.’ With pride they
practise more and more deceptions. The consequences of
their actions will be realised only when the deceptions are
discovered. When the time comes, they will collapse as a
result of their own deceits.”
While all were wondering whom Bhagavan had in mind,
Yogi Ramiah said, “Swami, this reminds me of an incident. I
remember to have read somewhere that Bhagavan had once
put on Panganamam.* Is it true?”
* Panganamam is the distinctive caste mark of a Vaishnavaite.
Bhagavan replied as follows: “Yes. That was during the
early days of my life on the hill. At that time some
Vaishnavaites used to come to me, and at their pressing
request I used to put on the namam, having nothing to lose
thereby. Not only that. Do you know what I did once? Those
were days when a Kalyana Mandapam was constructed in
Arunachaleswara Temple. It was Navaratri time. (Dasara
Festival). A bhajana troupe had arranged in the temple a
display of dolls for worship. They pressed me to go with
them to see the display. As I was afraid that somebody might
recognise me and start doing all sort of services, I put on a
dhoti of Palaniswami’s and covered my body with another
cloth, put on a namam like a Vaishnavaite and went with
them. The administrators of the temple knew me well. I
wanted to avoid them. They however recognised me at the
gate itself, and came after me saying, ‘Swami! Swami! You
also have come here to see the Swami? You yourself are a
Swami, aren’t you?’ What to do? I felt I was deceiving myself.
I somehow managed to evade them and get inside but I felt
that everyone was looking at me only. I did not see the
Mandapam nor could I see anything else. I turned back
intending to return unnoticed but the chief amongst the
archakas (priest) caught me again at the gate. ‘Swami! Swami!
You have come in this dress? Aha! How nice it is, Swami!
Please wait.’ So saying he stopped me, and addressing his
assistants, he said, ‘You fellow! bring a garland of flowers;
bring sandal paste; bring prasadam. Our Brahmanaswami has
come here putting on the dress of Lord Sri Krishna. It is
our great luck.’ So saying, they began to shower temple
honours on me. I somehow managed to escape their
attentions and went away. Later on, I tried a number of times
to hoodwink them and somehow go to the temple but
invariably they used to recognise me and give me all the
temple honours. Thereupon I gave up all further attempts
and stopped going to the temple altogether. It is the same
with everything. You can stay anywhere without fear, if you
are in your real form. If you put on a dress to deceive others,
you will be afraid every minute that someone might catch
you at your deception and so your mind becomes your own
enemy and troubles you,” said Bhagavan.

(262) IS ALL THE WORK FOR WHICH YOU HAVE COME OVER?

Prev Next    12th December, 1949
Sometime during the year 1943-44, a young Andhra
lady by name Alamelu came here from Coimbatore. As it
was during the early days of her husband’s demise, she
brought her brother with her for company. She had no
children. She and her mother had been coming to the
Ashram even before this. Whenever they came, they used to
stay for about ten to fifteen days, bring some sweetmeats
every afternoon at 2 o’clock and give them to Bhagavan and
to the devotees. Bhagavan told them several times not to do
so. They would not listen, but continued to bring something
everyday, saying “this preparation was liked by my mother,
that is very much to my liking, and this had been done
because my brother had come.” This time also they rented a
house in the town, stayed for about a month and continued
to bring sweetmeats as usual. Perhaps because they were in
difficulties, Bhagavan did not say anything this time. Taking
advantage of that and thinking Bhagavan liked it, they began
to prepare more edibles. At last, the day before they left the
Ashram, they approached Bhagavan and said, “We are going
away tomorrow.”
Laughing to himself, Bhagavan said, “Oh, is that so? Is
the work for which you have come over?” Unable to
understand what exactly was meant by the question, they
said, “There is some work at home for us. Our people have
written to us to come back.”
Bhagavan said, “That is all right. Is all the work for
which you came here, over? Is there anything remaining?”
Unable to say anything, they stood confused.

Bhagavan then said, “That is not it. You say you will go.
Have you finished preparing all the varieties of sweetmeats,
or is there anything left? That is what I am asking.” All of us
laughed. Unable to say anything in reply, the mother and
the daughter stood there with folded hands. Bhagavan said
with a laugh, “That is all right. You can go.” As soon as they
left after prostrating before Bhagavan, he looked at
Ramachandra Iyer and said, “When I tell them to look to
the purpose for which they came, they do not listen to me. I
said to them several times, why all this? What is the use?
Everyday they think of preparing only this or that sweetmeat
and also of what is liked by Bhagavan. Is it for this they
come? Is that the thing that pleases Bhagavan? Many people
do the same thing. They forget the purpose for which they
come. What to do?”

(263) FLOOR DECORATION WITH LIME POWDER

Prev Next    14h December, 1949
On a festival day in 1944, some ladies were decorating
the floor of the Ashram with rice paste prepared by soaking
rice in water and then grinding it. While returning from the
cowshed, Bhagavan remarked to the people following him,
“Look at those people. See what they are doing. They
concentrate their mind on that sort of work. What to do? Let
them carry on. Be careful not to step on the drawings. Why
should we step on them when they are doing it with such
great devotion?” So saying, he walked carefully without
disturbing the designs and sat in the hall.

Immediately after that, Bhagavan noticed an old lady
of the Ashram carefully drawing designs with dry lime
powder on the floor below the steps opposite to the hall.
Bhagavan called her by the familiar name, Granny, and
when she came with great expectations, he said, “Look here,
Granny. You are taking so much trouble for decorating the
floor with that powder, but is it rice flour?” When she replied
that it was powdered lime only, Bhagavan said, “What a
pity! It will not be useful even for the ants. The ladies there
are also doing the same thing. It is mere waste of time.
Their work is of no use whatsoever. The paste they are
using is made of rice dough which sticks to the ground and
so the ants cannot eat it. Decorating the floor really means
feeding the ants. If that dharma is given up and powdered
lime is used not only the ants cannot eat it but if, by mistake,
they come anywhere near, they die because of the strong
pungent smell. Why all that? Please add at least some rice
flour to it.”
An Andhra gentleman enquired, “Is it for feeding the
ants that in the dhanurmasa, i.e., in the month of December-
January, that floors are decorated with rice powder?”
“Yes, of course!” said Bhagavan. “Out of their feelings
of happiness and joy at the receipt of the fresh crop of rice,
they decorate the floor with rice powder thus feeding the
ants. Practices laid down by elders are always based on
kindness to living creatures. But who cares for those
traditions now? They do most things just for the sake of
beauty only.”

(264) FOLLIES

Prev Next    16th December, 1949
Some time in 1942-43, Sri Jagadeeswara Sastri’s son who
was studying in the Vedapatasala in Madurai, came here during
the holidays. Being young, he had tresses of hair hanging
down to the shoulders. May be he wanted to appear
fashionable. As soon as he came into the hall and got up after
prostrating, Bhagavan said, “Oh, is that you? When I saw
your hair style, I thought it was somebody else. Oh! My! How
you look! Who would believe that you are the son of
Jagadeeswara Sastri?” The boy was so ashamed, that he came
to the hall next day with only a small tuft of hair behind.

Noticing it, Bhagavan said, “Yes. That is right. Will not people
criticise adversely if Jagadeeswara Sastri’s son, a bachelor living
in a Gurukula (the house of a Guru), has an unbecoming hair
style?”
In 1943, Gurram Subbaramayya Garu came here with
his daughter of five or six years of age. As you know, she had
no mother. Noticing that she had a plait of hair on either side
of her head, Bhagavan remarked, “What child! Only two
plaits? Why not have two more in front and two in the centre
of the head?” So saying Bhagavan laughed. Bhagavan had
passed similar remarks before whenever he saw other children
dressed up like this. Now this child felt ashamed, came to me,
got her hair done into a single plait and went to Bhagavan.
Smiling at it and saying it was good, Bhagavan told her father,
“Look, European ladies who come here, wear sarees, tie their
hair in a plait and put some flowers in it and thus try to appear
like our ladies, while our people try to adopt their style. What
to do?”
Sometime in 1943-44, a European by name Mr. McIver
used to live here; on a Dipavali day, he wore a Salem silk-
bordered dhoti in the orthodox style, covered the upper
portion of his body with a similar cloth, prostrated before
Bhagavan, put on his forehead holy ashes and kumkum, went
out of the hall and sat there with closed eyes in padmasana
style. Bhagavan began smiling to himself, looking at him
through the window. Meanwhile Rajagopala Iyer came into
the hall, whereupon Bhagavan, laughing loudly, exclaimed,
“Look at that. McIver Sastri has come here. There he is,
sitting over there. Really, if anyone were to see him now,
could they say he was not a Sastri? While all of you put on
suits and boots, instead of wearing dhoties, he dressed himself
up like a Sastri. The only thing that is wanting now is the
sacred thread. As our people are discarding even that, there
is no difficulty even on that score now. Look at him!”
Whenever Bhagavan speaks to native Indians, he
normally talks to them in their own language, namely Tamil,
Telugu or Malayalam, but never in English. Even though
they know this, some of our young men put their questions
to Bhagavan in English. Sometimes, there will be nobody to
translate or the translation will be found difficult. If on such
occasions, we enquire why those people could not put their
questions in their own language, Bhagavan would say, “You
want to know why they ask me in English? That is because
they want to test Bhagavan. They have gained some
knowledge of the English language. Should not all people
know about it? Not only that, they sincerely believe that their
language is no good for such an important matter. The
infatuation for that language makes them feel like that. Poor
people! What can they do?”

(265) BHAJAN

Prev Next    24th December, 1949
In December 1943, that is, in the dhanurmasam* a
bhajan party, while going around the hill, came to Bhagavan,
prostrated before him, went round the hall by way of
pradakshina doing bhajan and then left. As soon as they had
gone, Rajagopala Iyer asked Bhagavan, “Is it a fact that
when Bhagavan was living in Pachiamman Temple, some
people arranged a big bhajan party and invited Bhagavan
to attend it?”
“Yes,” said Bhagavan. “It is a fact. That was in the days
when the plague epidemic raged in the town. The devastation
caused by that plague has already been described in the
biography. When the epidemic was over, the people of the
* Dhanurmasam, that is, mid-December to mid-January, is
considered very auspicious for the worship of Lord Vishnu and
bhajans are conducted during that period, generally in the early
hours of the morning.

town and those that had come for eradication of the plague
arranged a bhajan party. As some of the prominent people
amongst them had been coming to me off and on, they
requested me to attend the bhajan. When I expressed my
disinclination to join the party, they did not leave me alone
but pressed me to attend it. So I went there just to see the
whole thing. I was living in Pachiamman Temple at that time.
You know, there is a tank opposite that temple. They erected
several tents in the maidan adjacent to the tank bund and
arranged for the bhajan, there. The bhajan, however, was not
of the ordinary type. No, not at all. In the big tent they left
the required open space in the centre and arranged chairs
and benches around it as in a circus tent. They brought edibles
as for a tea party and arranged them all systematically as in
an exhibition. There was no limit to the flower garlands they
brought. Collectors, Tahsildars, and police were all there. They
arranged a special platform for me. As soon as I arrived, they
all got up, bowed before me, and requested me to sit on the
dais. I felt embarrassed. But what to do? I never knew they
would make so much fuss about it. Having gone there, I had
no alternative but to sit on the platform. They tried to garland
me but I declined saying that they should garland their own
dignitaries. They did accordingly. Till that was done, they did
not begin the bhajan. After I had sat down, they asked for
permission to start the bhajan. After one party had finished
their bhajan another party started theirs, while the others took
refreshments, soda and other drinks and thus took rest. Till
early morning there was eating and continuous bhajan, by
turns. I was the only one who did not touch or do anything. I
merely sat there. I felt satisfied and contented that they did
not press me to do anything. By daybreak all was over, and
there was not a single soul; all had left along with the tents.
Oh, they were all very enthusiastic and exhilarated.”
“So even in those days Bhagavan was held in high
esteem,” said Rajagopala Iyer.
“Yes. They did not start the bhajan until I came,” said
Bhagavan.
“This incident is not in the biography,” I said.
“Why? Is there not enough in it already? Why tell them
all this?” said Bhagavan.
“We do not know how many more incidents like this
have been kept from us,” I said. Bhagavan smiled and
assumed silence.

(266) MEDICATED OILS AND BUTTER

Prev Next    26th December, 1949
Sometime in September or October 1944, Bhagavan
received a small book on Ayurveda written by Achanta
Lakshmipati which he read and, in accordance with a
prescription therein, got Karpura Thailam prepared (a
medicinal oil prepared from camphor, etc.) and began using
it for the muscular pain in his legs. Observing this, some
devotees said that Narayana Thailam was better, some said
that Mahanarayana Thailam was much better and so on and
so forth. After hearing these suggestions, Krishnaswami got
exasperated and said, “How many medicated oils can we
apply? However much we rub them on, the pain has not
abated.” Bhagavan remarked, “Oho! When they are
discussing about the relative merits of the various medicated
oils, why do you feel exasperated?”
Krishnaswami: “Some treatment is being given. Why
do they not keep quiet? How could we manage if everyone
suggests a different remedy? How often have we applied
those medicated oils? Has the pain been cured thereby?”
Bhagavan: “No. But then, you never rubbed that oil with
a desire that the pain should be cured. If you had done it with
a strong will, why would that pain not leave us? As the pain
has not disappeared, they are suggesting other remedies. Why
would they suggest all these things if the pain were cured?”
Krishnaswami: “There is some relief now by the use of
this Karpura Thailam. Why do they bother us by suggesting
all those other remedies?”
Bhagavan: “But then, are you sure that the pain will
disappear completely with this medicine?”
Krishnaswami: “We can’t say. But we shall try.”
Bhagavan: “Yes, that is the thing. If you apply the
medicine with a desire that the pain should disappear
completely, it will certainly disappear. But then, you are afraid
that if it disappears you will not be allowed to touch
Bhagavan’s legs. That is why you rub the oil with a desire
that the pain should not disappear completely. That being
so, why will that pain disappear?”
One afternoon at 3 o’clock, a devotee who was going
to Madras gave a small tin containing some ointment and
said that if that medicine was applied to Bhagavan’s legs,
the pain would decrease, and that if Bhagavan would
continuously use it, he would bring a dozen tins of it from
Madras. Bhagavan replied, saying, “Enough. The Karpura
Thailam I am using now is adequate. Why do I require such
costly medicines? If diet is properly regulated, no medicine
will be required. When these medicines are used, the ailment
apparently disappears, but it starts again. That is because
of some irregularity in diet, and that can’t be helped.” The
devotee said, “If that is so, it will be all right if the diet is
suitably regulated. Why not do that at least?”
“Yes, Sir. That is good. But how can I regulate my diet?
Whenever I think of having a simple diet with pepper water,
they will say that there is a bhiksha day. I cannot avoid vadai*
and payasam

(milk pudding) prepared for the occasion.
“When the servers come to Bhagavan they serve much
more than to the others. No doubt that is done out of devotion,
but what to do? I must eat it. If food is thus taken, it will result
in some ailment or other. How will that ailment be cured by
medicines? It must get cured of its own accord. Once when I
was on the hill, I was suffering from a severe cough. Many
tonics were given, but they were of no use. I came down and
stayed here. I do not know whether it was because of the air
that blows here over the medicinal herbs of the hills, but it
somehow got cured of its own accord. The forest itself became
full of Chyavanaprash (a specific Ayurvedic medicine for cough).
The present ailment also will get cured likewise. This tin is
enough. Please do not bring any more,” said Bhagavan.
A devotee said, “Swami, some people, after they come
out of the state of samadhi, live on butter only. We have actually
seen some such people. How do they manage it?”
Bhagavan replied with a laugh, “Aha! What is that if a
person puts a handful of butter on a leaf and eats it, how will
he have any appetite afterwards? For that purpose one need
not come out of a state of samadhi. Anyone can eat it. There
are several herbs. If they are eaten, one will not feel hungry
at all. Some people keep those herbs in their pockets or in
their bags and go on eating them one after another. How
could they have any appetite thereafter? People then say
that this Swami is living without food and he is a great soul.
He thereby becomes a Swami.”
*
Vadai is a cake prepared with all dhals, like black-gram, green
gram, etc., ground into a paste and fried in oil.

(267) BOOK BINDING

Prev Next    30th December, 1949
Some people bring ancient and sacred books in a very
bad condition to Bhagavan with a request to examine its
contents. Simultaneously with the examination of the
contents, Bhagavan used to arrange the pages, properly paste
together the torn bits and also write in his own hand the
missing portions of the text and thus give the book a new
appearance. Some people used to send loose leaves of a book
tied together with a string with the request to set them right
after examination. On such occasions Bhagavan used to cut
the papers properly, paste them together, stitch them, get
them bound and on the cover paste a piece of white paper
sufficient to write the name of the book in letters like pearls,
underline it with red ink and thus preserve the book
carefully.

In 1942, Gurram Subbaramayya sent here an old copy
of Amuktamalyada written by Krishnadevaraya with a request
to the Ashram that Bhagavan should read it and that
thereafter it should be kept in the Ashram library. The covers
of the book were loose, soiled and badly torn. Bhagavan
immediately set the whole thing properly, bound it neatly,
pasted a white paper on the cover, wrote the name in bold
letters that appeared better than print, drew a line with red
ink under it, made it look like a new book and passed it on
to me saying, “See how it looks now.” The book was as
beautiful as a newly-married bride and so I wrote some verses
about it and reverently placed them in the hands of
Bhagavan.
Sometime in June or July 1943, you remember, I was
entrusted with the writing work relating to all Telugu matters
in the presence of Bhagavan. In those days when paper was
scarce because of the World War, I brought from your house
all the typed papers relating to your book on banking, as
they were typed only on one side and so could be used for
writing on the back. I used those papers to copy, in Telugu
script, the Ramana Puja Vidhanam written in nagari script
and prepared by Jagadeeswara Sastri. Bhagavan saw it and
asked me where I had got the paper from. I told him the
facts. “You have done a good thing. Others would merely
throw away such papers. We can use them for rough work. I
always use paper which is thrown away as useless by others.
When pages are written only on one side, the written sides
could be pasted together so that the unwritten sides of the
page could be used profitably and bound together into a
new book. We did like that quite a number of times. Why
allow them to go waste?” said Bhagavan.
A devotee enquired if it was a fact that Bhagavan had
picked up sheets of paper that were thrown away in a dustbin
by Nayana and had bound them all together into a book.
Bhagavan replied saying, “Yes, that is a fact. You know,
Nayana was with us for some time in Palakothu. When he
was going away from there, he threw away all the waste sheets.
He was accustomed to writing only on about a half of a sheet
and leaving the rest blank. There are quite a number of
books which are half-written like that by him. When that is
so with books, would he care for mere sheets? A number of
such sheets were thrown in the dustbin. After taking food in
the noon, Madhava and myself went out as usual and noticed
the heap. As we did not like to waste them, we picked out
the useful sheets, cut them suitably, stitched them together
into a book and kept it carefully. That was almost like a newly-
bound book. After sometime Nayana returned and wanted
a notebook to write something. I asked Madhava to give
him that bound-book and he gave it. I kept silent, laughing
to myself. However, Madhava said, ‘Nayana, these are the
sheets of paper which you threw away as useless. Bhagavan
saw them and asked me to pick out the useful ones, which I
did, and bound them into this notebook.’ Nayana was very
much surprised. I usually stitch notebooks with such papers
only,” said Bhagavan.

(268) WHERE TO STAY? WHERE TO GO?

Prev Next    3rd January, 1950
Sometime in 1943/1944, one of the devotees who is familiar
amongst the circle of devotees, built a house in Ramana Nagar
and before the housewarming ceremony, approached Bhagavan
and said in an undertone, “It would be nice if Bhagavan could
come to my place.” With a smile Bhagavan said, “What a request!
Where is Bhagavan to come? Why not think that whoever comes
for the function is Bhagavan himself? If all people come, is it
not something like Bhagavan himself coming? Please go. Finish
the housewarming ceremony.” Sending him away with those
words Bhagavan remarked to those nearby, “Do you see? He
says Bhagavan must go over there. Everyone says the same
thing. Were can I go?”
Another devotee said, “Is it not a fact that someone
said that a temple for Bharata Mata was being constructed
and that Bhagavan should lay the foundation stone?”
“Yes, yes. It must be about five or six years ago. There
was no invitation. Nothing whatsoever. It was however
published in the papers that Bhagavan would be attending
the ceremony and that a first class berth had also been
reserved. Several people came and asked me whether I was
going, and I gave the reply, ‘Where to stay and where to go?
There is no place to which I could go,’” said Bhagavan.

“Arrangements were once made for going to Tirupati
also, weren’t they?” asked another devotee.
Bhagavan replied, “Yes. It is true. That was when I was
in the Virupaksha Cave. At that time I was not covering the
upper part of the body with anything. For some unknown
reason the trouble from mosquitoes was unusually great that
year. Jayaraman bought a good shawl and pressed me to
cover my body with that. I did not even touch it. He waited
for some time. The shawl remained folded. The mosquito
trouble continued unabated. Unable to bear the nuisance,
the people near me conferred amongst themselves and
without the knowledge of outsiders, made all preparations
for going to Tirupati. They told me that we should go by
this way and should come back by that way and the like. I
nodded my head in assent to all that they said. They fixed
an auspicious day for the journey, packed everything and,
before starting, came to me saying, ‘Swami, shall we start?’ I
said, ‘Yes. Do go and come back.’ ‘What about Bhagavan?’
‘Where can Bhagavan go? Where is he staying?’ I said. They
said, ‘We are unable to bear this mosquito trouble, you see.’
I said, ‘If you are not able to bear it, you may go and come
back. Is it for my sake that you are going? Did I say that I
was not able to bear the mosquito nuisance?’ What more
could they say? They felt that it was no use arguing further,
gave up their journey, and began pressing me to cover my
body with the shawl. Jayaram’s son Pichandi was at the time
a very young fellow. He used to come every day covering
himself with an old rug. As I felt that they would not leave
me in peace until I covered my body to avoid the mosquito
bites, I told them that I would wear the old rug if they gave
that young man the new shawl in exchange. What could
they do? Unwillingly they exchanged the new rug for the
old one and I covered myself with the rug. That was the
beginning of my covering the body with anything. When I
began covering myself with that prickly type of rug, the
mosquitoes did not dare to come anywhere near me. It used
to be warm too,” said Bhagavan.
Another person asked, “It seems that someone
requested permission to take you round the whole of the
country for propaganda and for preaching.” Bhagavan
replied, “Yes. That was Swami Rajeswarananda himself. You
know, he used to live here some years ago. At that time, he
was drawing up plans for touring the whole of India; to which
important places we should go for delivering lectures; how a
special train was to be arranged for travel; how many days
to stay in the various places, and so on. I used to hear all
that he said and keep quiet. He mistook my silence for
consent. Ultimately he arranged to travel by first class, packed
all things and said, ‘Swami, shall we start?’. ‘Yes, why not?
Go and come back,’ I said. ‘What about Bhagavan?’ he said.
‘Me, Why?’ I said. ‘You must preach the essence of the advaita
to people in the whole of India, Swami,’ he said. ‘Is that so?
What can I do? Where to stay? Where to go? I have no place
to go to,’ I said. He was taken aback.
“During the early days of the arrival of motor cars into
this country, several people used to buy cars, bring them
here and say, ‘If Bhagavan gets into the car but once, we will
take it round the hill and return immediately. Please get in.’
Where was I to go, getting into such things,” said Bhagavan.
See what is stated in Mahavakya Ratnamala:
What is there for me to do, where am I to go, what am I
to accept and what am I to discard, since I pervade the
entire universe like the waters of the final deluge.

269) BOYHOOD DAYS AT MADURAI

Prev Next    15th January, 1950
I have already written to you about my going to
Tiruchuli (in 1945) when the Sarvadhikari started for that
place to do repairs to the birth place of Bhagavan and how,
on that occasion, several devotees, including a number of
ladies, accompanied him and how, after my return, Bhagavan
told me several incidents of his boyhood. At that time we
had also seen the house in Madurai where Bhagavan had
Self-realisation. When I told Bhagavan that an old lady by
name Subbamma related some more incidents about his life
there, he pressed me to tell him all about it.

I said, “She told me that she was living in the same
street when Bhagavan ran away from his house in Madurai;
that Bhagavan showed even then, by his conduct, glimpses
of his feelings of equality with all human beings and that
there were several incidents at the time to indicate it.”
“What are they?” asked Bhagavan.
I said, “It seems that there was not sufficient supply of
water in the house in which Bhagavan lived and so water
had to be brought from the opposite house; that sometimes
Bhagavan used to help his aunt by bringing water and by
doing several odds and ends of the household work.”
Bhagavan said, “Yes. Auntie could not lift any big vessel.
The water she brought in a small vessel was at times found
insufficient for the household. So I used to fetch water in a
big vessel. So what?”
I said, “It seems that your mother felt a little annoyed
when she heard of this and is reported to have remarked
that her son was being made to carry heavy things. When
she came to Madurai once, she too had to fetch water. She
could not lift the big vessel and requested Bhagavan to fetch
water in the big vessel. While bringing it, Bhagavan is said
to have remarked, ‘You found fault with auntie. What have
you done now?’ Is that all true?”
Laughing, Bhagavan said, “Yes, yes. But what of it? There
are municipal taps now. But in those days there was a lot of
difficulty about water. The Vaigai River is at a long distance
from Chokkanatha Street. It used to be very near to the house
where we first stayed. When we were there, we used to bathe
in the Vaigai River every day. As summer advanced, the water
in the river would dry up. We then used to go there in the
evenings and excavate enough sand in the riverbed so that a
big vessel could be dipped into it. Subsequently we played
about in the sands. By the time we finished our games, the
sand ditch would be filled with water. We would bathe in that
water and return home. The ditches that we excavated every
day were very useful for other people also.”
I said, “It seems even the playthings of Mahatmas serve
as useful things for others.”
Bhagavan said, “That’s all right. But tell me, you have
gone to the temple of Varadaraja Perumal, haven’t you? You
must have noticed that there are three parapet walls for each
of the three storeys. Very often, all of us boys used to go to
the third storey and play hide-and-seek and other games. A
big tank could be seen from the window of the third storey.
We used to go to that tank off and on and have competitions
in swimming. I invariably used to win in the competitions.
That tank is on the way leading to Tirupparankundram.”
I said, “I read in Ramana Leela about a feast that
Bhagavan had with other boys in Tirupparankundram. It
was however not possible for us to go there.”
Bhagavan said, “That is on the way to Tiruchuli. Only
you have to take a little diversion. There are similar places
around Madurai like Pasumalai, Nagamalai, Enugamalai and
several others. We used to go there sometimes. Their
greatness could be found in Halasyamahatmyam.”
I asked, “Is it a fact that you were going to Alagar Koil
also?”
Bhagavan replied, “Yes, yes. That is about twelve miles
from Madurai. The temple is a very big one. There, everyday
Sarkarai Pongal is offered twice to the Lord. It was excellent.
Once when I went there I was given a little of it along with
others. I wished I could have more of it. I felt, however, shy
to ask for more. So I kept quiet. You know what happened
when I went there another time? The children of one of the
archakas were going home for the holidays. I accompanied
them and stayed with them for a whole day. On that day, it
was their turn for archana. Their house was about two
furlongs from the temple. After the night puja was over they
got a big plateful of pongal as their share. On seeing me,
they felt that I was a sturdy fellow and could easily carry it
and so they put the plate on my head and went ahead
chitchatting amongst themselves. You know how heavy it
was! All the muscles of my neck began to ache. It was night
time. It was also dark. The plate must not fall down because
it contained God’s prasadam. What could I do? I felt that it
was a punishment for my wanting to have some more pongal
when I came last, and so I somehow carried it until I reached
the house.”
I said, “Did not any one of them offer to carry it for a
little distance?”
Bhagavan replied, “No. They were walking and were
completely absorbed in their discussions about some of their
own affairs. How would they think about me?”
I said, “Perhaps, Bhagavan did not say that it was heavy
and he could not carry it?”
Bhagavan remarked, “How could I do that? It was
preordained that I should carry it and so I carried it.
Subsequently, they gave me a big lump of the pongal on a
leaf. When I ate some of it, I got a feeling of aversion to it. It
was however prasadam, and as it could not be thrown away, I
somehow managed to eat it. None of the others touched it
even. They gave it away to the servant next morning. It is
the same with everything. If there is ample supply, no one
wants it.”
I remarked, “So Bhagavan carried the plate with the
same feelings as Jada Bharata* had when he carried the
palanquin.”
Bhagavan said, “What of that? They merely felt that I
was robust and could easily carry it. What else did they
know?” So saying, he changed the topic and began telling us
about wrestling bouts, playing with balls and other boyhood
games. All those things have been mentioned in Ramana Leela.

(270) MUKTI KANTA

Prev Next    20th January, 1950
Sometime ago, Putumbaka Srikrishnayya, a devotee of
Bhagavan, wrote the biography of Dhanurdasa, who was a
devotee of Lord Sri Ranganatha, in verse and dedicated it
to Bhagavan. After Bhagavan had graciously accepted this
book of verses, he wrote some more poems separately and
offered them to Bhagavan. The gist of the first poem was:
“Swami, my Kriti Kanya (comparing the poems to a young
* Jada Bharata was a Jivanmukta and an Avadhuta like Bhagavan.

maiden) has refused to accept anyone else but Bhagavan as
her suitor. I have decided to offer you humbly this maiden.
Please accept her and bless us.” In the last poem he wrote:
“You have become my son-in-law. I have partaken of the
marriage feast with you. I have thus become blessed. I will
take leave of you. Just because you have wooed and won
Mukti Kanya (comparing Mukti to a maiden), please do not
neglect my beloved child.”
When this happened, I was not in town. As soon as I
returned, Bhagavan told me all about it: “Look. It seems I
have already married Mukti Kanya. He has ordered me not to
neglect his daughter. Read this,” so saying Bhagavan made me
read the poems. Apart from this, he used to narrate this event
humorously. Later on, when the author of this book came there,
he used to say jocularly, “My father-in-law has come. Have you
seen him?” Sometime later, when Mahadeva Sastri came,
Bhagavan showed him these poems and made him read them.
Ramanamma, a devotee of Bhagavan, not knowing that these
poems were only fit for diversion, got Bhagavan’s permission
and took the book for copying. The next morning, when I
went there, I saw the book in Bhagavan’s hands. Seeing me,
Bhagavan said with a slight smile, “See that lady sitting over
there. She took this book yesterday saying that she wanted to
copy these ‘Kriti Kanya Samarpana’ poems. This evening she
brought the copied poems saying that she wanted to read them
out to me. ‘That’s enough. Don’t read them. Keep them with
you and do parayana everyday,’ I said. The other day when
Mahadeva came, I showed him these poems for fun. He read
them here. What more was needed? She must have thought
that Swami was very fond of them. She copied them
immediately. It is not as though she really wanted them. Her
real intention was only to read them in the hall.” Saying this
Bhagavan laughed. I said, “If anybody writes about Bhagavan
in a humorous way, that he is a thief, a simpleton, and a deceiver,
and Bhagavan starts joking about it, then some people begin
imagining that Bhagavan likes it.” Bhagavan replied, “Yes, yes.
If the writer who had written these poems had also added that
the reading of these verses would give them the merit of giving
away their daughter in marriage (kanya dana phalam), then it
would indeed have been very apt.”
Four or five years ago, the wife of Ranganatha Iyer, a
devotee, gave Bhagavan a book named Ramana Kalyanam
written by their son. It seems that her husband was a playmate
of Bhagavan in his young days. The whole book was full of
songs. In it, Bhagavan was depicted as a bridegroom with a
Mukti Kanta as the bride. One day he started to sing all these
songs in the hall. Everything that pertained to the marriage
ceremony was described in it in detail, such as the bri dal
procession, the exchange of garlands, etc. At that point
Bhagavan, looking at us, said, “Have you all observed me
getting married? Here am I, playing with flowers, exchanging
garlands, hearing songs and getting married in the proper
way. These people are all grief-stricken because Swami has
not been married all these days. In this way they have at last
made up for the deficiency. Just listen to them!” And Bhagavan
laughed.

(271) TITBITS

Prev Next    4th February, 1950
It was decided to construct a building to commemorate
the name of the famous poet, the late Subrahmania Bharati
and unveil his portrait on the 12th October, 1947 at
Ettaiyapuram in Tirunelveli District. Rajaji was to declare
the building open and Ramaswami Reddiar was to unveil
the portrait of the poet, Bharati. For the last five or six days,
Rajagopala Iyer and Krishnaswami have been collecting
cuttings of the photos of Bharati, and the buildings that have
been appearing in the daily papers. They were busy pasting
them on to a cardboard with the photo of the building below
that of Bharati. Bhagavan was helping them with his advice
in all respects. This job was completed on 11th October, and
they both showed it to Bhagavan. Bhagavan said smilingly,
“Well what you have to do now is to cover the top and bottom
of the cardboard with two pieces of cloth fashioned like a
curtain with strings attached, etc. Let Rajagopala Iyer play
the role of Rajagopalachari, the Governor-General and
Krishnaswami Reddiar the role of Ramaswami Reddiar. Just
when the function at Ettaiyapuram takes place, both of you
draw the curtains on these photos so that the function will
be duplicated here simultaneously!”
One day, in 1947, from 2.30 in the afternoon to about
4 o’ clock, Bhagavan was explaining something to a devotee
who had come from the north. The attendants were standing
before him with Bhagavan’s walking stick and kamandalam
indicating that it was getting late for Bhagavan’s evening walk.

Massaging his legs, Bhagavan said, “Wait, wait. Ramabhakta
Hanuman’s father (the Wind God) is holding on to my legs
firmly. He is not an ordinary person. He will not lose his hold
in a hurry. He will do it leisurely. Wait a little.” Then Bhagavan
rubbed a little oil on his kneecaps and got up. Some of those
present, who could understand the way Bhagavan punned on
his stiff joints which were supposed to be due to the wind,
laughed at his jocular remarks.
As soon as Bhagavan returned to the hall and sat on
the couch, one of the devotees put some incense into the
stove nearby. The fumes were a little too intense and as they
spread around Bhagavan’s face, he felt almost suffocated.
“Shall we open the windows?” suggested a devotee. Bhagavan
said, “Let it be. Leave it alone. In the temples, we burn the
incense and fan the fumes towards the deity so that the idol
is completely enveloped in the fumes. Your idea in burning
the incense here also is to see that the Swami should enjoy
the fumes. Moreover, they are spreading out of their own
accord. Why are you now trying to drive the fumes away?”
Just as Bhagavan was saying this, a devotee fanned the embers
in the stove with his hand. Suddenly the whole thing burst
into a flame. We were afraid that the heat of the flame might
affect Bhagavan and began to feel anxious. But Bhagavan
said with a smile, “Yes, now it is all right. The incense has
been burnt and the lights have been waved, the process of
puja is now complete.” Then Bhagavan resumed silence.

(272) THE GREATNESS OF CHILLIES

Prev Next    4th February, 1950
In the last week of April 1947, Bharati, a Telugu monthly
journal, was received in the Ashram. It contained an article
on the chillies of Palnad (a part of Guntur District, Andhra
Pradesh). In it, it was stated that chillies would cure congestion
of the chest due to phlegn, help digestion, and act as a good
tonic for the body. The author also said that chillies have a
number of beneficial effects to the body and stimulate the
brain and are useful in the preparation of many medicines.

He also quoted authorities in support of this theory. Bhagavan
asked me to read out the article, called the Ashram doctors
and said smilingly, “Look here. You want me to cut down on
chillies. The efficacy of chillies has been described in an article
in the Bharati. Nagamma is going to read it. Listen carefully.
It prevents phlegm and acts as a good tonic. Many are the
beneficial effects of chillies.” So saying Bhagavan asked
Venkataratnam to preserve that issue of Bharati.
Venkataratnam and I were wondering why Bhagavan
wanted us to preserve this particular copy. Ten days later,
Janaki Ammal, wife of the retired surgeon, Ganapathi Iyer,
(now Janaki Matha) came with some other ladies to stay in
the Ashram for a few days. One afternoon, around 3 o’clock,
addressing Bhagavan, she said, “Bhagavan, you are looking
very weak. You must completely cut out chillies and take
only nutritious food. Chillies dry up the system,” and quoted
a number of examples in support of her statement. She went
on in the same strain even though someone there remarked
that chillies had never done any harm to Bhagavan.
Again someone nearby tried to interrupt her. Then
Bhagavan remarked, “Don’t be impatient. She is the wife of
a surgeon. While he prescribes the medicines, she prescribes
the patients the diet. What can you know about such things?”
He then turned towards her and said, “You say chillies are
not good but there is a long article in the Bharati extolling
the good qualities of chillies. Whose advice am I to follow?
Wait a minute. They will read the article to you and you can
yourself understand all about it. According to you, chillies
weaken the body but according to the article, the Reddis of
Palnad are strong and sturdy because they eat plenty of
chillies. Listen to the details.” So saying Bhagavan asked
Venkataratnam to get the journal and read out the article.
The lady was not able to say anything any more.

(273) BRAHMANIRVANA

Prev Next    Undated
The small tumour which showed itself on the left upper
arm of Bhagavan in November 1948, began growing from
day to day so that by 1-2-1949 it became as big as a marble.

The doctor in charge of the Ashram hospital, Dr. Sankara
Rao, and a retired surgeon, Dr. Srinivasa Rao, pointed it out
to Bhagavan and offered to remove it by a small surgical
operation. Bhagavan however did not agree to it. As it
continued to grow rapidly, the doctors got perturbed and
somehow prevailed upon Bhagavan to agree to its removal.
Accordingly the first operation was performed on the
morning of 9-2-1949.
All the devotees wanted the bandage to be covered so as
not to be visible to outsiders. But then, was there an upper
cloth to cover it? Was there a shirt to wear? The only thing
Bhagavan had was a white cloth, half-a-yard wide and three-
fourths of a yard long. He tied it around his neck so as to
conceal the bandage. Still the bandage was visible through
the gaps. When some people who had the courage to ask him
what the matter was, Bhagavan used to reply with a laugh,
that he had worn a bracelet on the arm or that a Lingam had
been born there, or that it was a Swayambhu Lingam.* Some
time later the bandage was removed. People said that the
wound was healing up. Somehow, everyone forgot about it
during the bustle of the Kumbhabhishekam which took place
on 17-3-1949. As soon as the festivities were over all people
came to know that the tumour had shown itself again. Some
suggested treatment with green leaves and milk of the fig
tree. Others brought a medicated plaster and put it on. On
27-3-1949, Raghavachari and other doctors who came from
* Swayambhu Lingam is a lingam which springs or arises from
the ground by itself. It is associated with Lord Siva.
Madras, said that none of those remedies would do and that
the tumour must be operated upon again. They left after
deciding that a second operation should be performed and
promised to come back on 3-4-1949 for the purpose.
I was somehow frightened and in a prayerful attitude,
entreated Bhagavan, saying, “Why all these operations? Why
do you not cure yourself by getting some medicine
prescribed by yourself and using it, the same as you did
when you had jaundice?”
Bhagavan replied, “They are all reputed doctors. Let
their treatment be carried out.”
When I said that they had already performed an
operation which had been found unsuccessful and enquired
why Bhagavan should not have his own treatment,
Bhagavan said, “Let it go this time. If it appears again, we
will see about it.”
On the morning of 3-4-1949, while we were discussing
about the details of the operation in the presence of Bhagavan,
the doctors came. Seeing them, Bhagavan said, “Look. The
doctors have come,” and began arranging his legs preparatory
to getting up. Bhagavan was demonstrating the practical
application of his upadesa (teaching), whatever is to happen will
happen, and whatever is not to happen will not happen. Then
Bhagavan said with a firm voice, “Yes. That which is to happen
will not stop even if we say ‘no’.” So saying he got down from
the couch and went into the hospital. Till about the middle of
May 1949, everything went on fairly satisfactorily. But
afterwards there was an all round anxiety and worry because
when the stitches were removed blood began oozing from the
place where the operation had been performed. The tumour
had not healed and was clearly exhibiting its malignancy.
As it was suggested that it would do good to expose the
tumour to the sun’s rays, in June 1949, the doctors used to
seat Bhagavan behind the Gosala (cowshed), open the
bandage, wash the wound and keep it exposed for some
time to the sun’s rays. On such occasions, devotees who
expressed their fear and anxiety were told by Bhagavan,
“See how nice it is! It is like a precious ruby. It has become
an ornament to my arm. See how red it is! It is glowing
brilliantly with the sun’s rays falling on it. Look at it!” And
when they saw blood oozing out and remarked about it with
great grief, he used to say, “Why worry? Let the blood flow
out. It is a ruby, you see. Like the ‘Syamanthakamani* this is
also producing gold every day. The only difference is, in
that case, the gold that was produced was yellow while in
this case it is red. See how much is oozing out.” And if any
devotees prayed to him to heal himself, he used to say “What
have I to do with this?” or “What can I do?”.
On 5-7-1949, an old man from Valuvai, a village nearby
and a reputed Ayurvedic doctor, started applying the juice
of some green leaves and bandaging the wound. Before he
began the treatment, he saw the wound in all its malignancy
and remarked with immense grief. “Oh Bhagavan! How
serious this is! Swami, this is cancer. This should not be
touched at all. Why did you allow it to be operated on? If I
had known it in the beginning, I would have dressed it with
green leaves containing medicinal properties and cured it.
It is too late now Swami.”
When Bhagavan was returning to the hall after leaving
the hospital in the evening of 1-7-1949, his body began to
shake and his legs began to falter. He had fever. He
somehow reached the hall and squatted on the couch. While
we were all alarmed and were anxiously looking at him,
* Syamanthakamani is a kind of valuable gem, said to yield daily eight
loads of gold and also protect the wearer from all kinds of dangers and
calamities.
Santhamma could not contain herself and, being elderly,
and a very old devotee, took the liberty of addressing
Bhagavan and said, “Oh, the body!” No sooner had she
said this than Bhagavan remarked, “Oh, the body? Why?
What has happened? It is shaking. What if it shakes?” So
saying, he suppressed the shivering, and looking at his
attendants, said with a laugh, “That is Nataraja’s* dance.
Why should you be afraid? If everyday the body is giving
you darshan in its static form, today it is giving it to you in a
dance pose. Why all this anxiety?” So saying, he sat there
in dignified silence. The Veda Parayana was then done.
On 7-8-1949, Dr. Guruswami Mudaliar was here
personally to supervise the third operation. I had already
written to you that it was from that date that questions and
answers in Bhagavan’s presence had become rare. After the
final operation was performed on 19-12-1949, Bhagavan
did not come into either the new hall or the old hall. He
confined himself to the small room opposite the big hall.
After homeopathic treatment was tried Ayurvedic treatment
began. The Moos (a famous Ayurvedic doctor from Kerala)
who was treating Bhagavan felt discouraged and on 3-3-
1950 he wrote a stotram in praise of Bhagavan and arranged
for its parayana along with Vishnu Sahasranamam (thousand
names of Vishnu), every day. Some devotees performed
Surya namaskar (salutation to the Sun) and some began doing
Mrityunjaya Japam (prayer to Lord Siva, the conqueror of
death). Just as he had handed over his body to the doctors
to do whatever they liked with it, saying ‘Yes, yes’, he was
accepting the offerings of those devotees in the shape of
tirtha (consecrated water) and Prasadams (offerings of food
to the gods).
* Nataraja is another name for Lord Siva, one of the Trinity. He
is reputed to dance when in ecstasy.
After the Mrityunjaya Japam was over, the people
concerned asked him if they could proceed with the Mrityunjaya
Homam. He nodded in assent and as soon as they left turned
towards Venkataratnam and said, “Extinction of ego and
abidance in Self is the Mritunjaya Homam. In Devikalottaram,
verse 16 and 17, it is stated that one should not get immersed
in mantrams, homams and such things. Also in Sarvajnanottaram,
verse 35, it is said that abidance in Self itself is the mantra, the
devata, the diksha, the tapas, the homam and the dhyana.”
About the same time a lady devotee had Chandi Homam
performed. Another lady lighted holy candles to appease
Sani (Saturn). Some had abhisheka and other pujas performed
in Arunachaleswara Temple.
On 17-3-1950, Bhagavan had some vomitings with
consequent discomfort and so did not take any food
subsequently. Hearing that, his sister Alamelu went to him
and said, “Oh, Bhagavan! It seems you have not taken
anything at all. Today’s payasam (pudding) is very tasteful.
You have not taken even a drop of it.” Bhagavan however
sent her away with some words of comfort.
From the time the cancer showed itself, I always used to
pray to Bhagavan whenever I could manage to see him, “Please
get yourself cured of this ailment and remain in this world for
our sake.” Bhagavan used to console me with some comforting
words or other. When the third and the fourth operations were
performed and I expressed my fear and anxiety, he used to say
that there was no need for worry and there was nothing really
seriously wrong. Hence, however serious the ailment was, and
however much other people felt anxious and discouraged, I
used to think that Bhagavan would hint to me if there was
anything imminent. That egoism enveloped my whole being
and blinded me to the grim realities of the situation. I was
therefore confident that he would get cured ultimately.
19-3-1950 was the Lunar New Year’s Day. From the time
I had come here, it had been usual for me to offer to Bhagavan
for his personal wear a khaddar towel and a kowpeenam and
arrange for bhiksha in the Ashram that day. As I did not like to
give it up this year, I took with me a towel and kowpeenam in the
evening at about 7 o’clock of 18-3-1950, went into that small
room accompanied by our postmaster, Raja Iyer. Bhagavan
stared at me. I quietly placed the clothes on the table and said
the next day was the Ugadi (New Year’s Day). Bhagavan started
at that and said, “Is the Ugadi come? Is the Vikruti (the name
of the new year) come?” There was something strange and
perplexing in that voice. And I cannot explain why, but it seemed
to forebode something disastrous and it was to me heart-
rending. The two attendants stood aghast. I too could say
nothing and so mumbled, “I felt it would be inauspicious if
I gave up my usual practice.” Bhagavan said, “Oh! What is
there in that?” and looking at one of the attendants by name
Anjaneyalu who was by his side, he said, “Keep those clothes
carefully. Nagamma has brought them. Tomorrow it is Ugadi,
it seems.” So saying, in a very gentle manner he gave us leave
to go. As the attendants were removing the clothes, I went near
the couch and asked Bhagavan, “How is the arm?” Bhagavan
said, “What shall I say how it is?” I told Bhagavan, “You must
somehow cure yourself.” Bhagavan replied, “Ahem. I cannot
say anything now.” I pleaded with great humility, “How could
you say that, Bhagavan?” Perhaps he felt that my hopes would
not go unless he told me the bare truth and so looking at me
with compassion, he said, “Ahem. Cure? What cure?” I said,
“Ayyo! Will it not be cured?” Bhagavan replied, “Ahem. Cure?
What cure? How could there be any cure now?” The previous
assurance that there was nothing to worry about and nothing
would happen — all of them disappeared at that moment and
when I heard those words, my whole body shook with fear. My
eyes filled with tears and my voice got choked. I wanted to ask
about our fate for the future and so was trying to gather some
composure of mind and open my lips when someone from the
office came in hurriedly on some urgent work. I was startled by
that noise and came out without asking what I wanted to ask
and slowly retraced my steps to my hut. The next morning
I thought of approaching Bhagavan again and ask for his final
message, but could not get an opportunity. The resonant voice
of Bhagavan that said, “Is the Ugadi come?” appeared to me to
say, “All is over.” With that Ugadi the great privilege I had all
these years of hearing and enjoying the nectar of Bhagavan’s
voice ended.
On the evening of 14-4-1950, I went at 6-30 and stood
in the queue arranged for an orderly darshan of Bhagavan
and when I got up on the raised mound opposite the door
of the room where Bhagavan was sitting, and stood there
for a while with my sight concentrated on him and prayed
to him mentally, “Oh Prabho! Won’t you for once radiate on
me your compassionate look?” Bhagavan’s eyes slowly began
to open and from those eyes, a mild and compassionate look
came on me. That was the last time I had the great fortune
of his compassionate look.
At 8-47 that night, Sri Ramana, the embodiment of light
and enlightenment, left his mortal coil.
When the mortal body of Gurudev, who was at once my
mother, father, Guru and God and who has protected me all
these years, ceased to be the abode of that great soul, I remained
still as a statue, drowned in inexpressible grief and sorrow.
The writing of these letters was begun on 21-11-1945
and continued uninterrupted all these days through the grace
of Bhagavan, and with the end of the Avatar of Bhagavan,
I am giving up the writing of these letters.

OM TAT SAT

 

 

My humble salutations to the lotus feet of Bhagavan Sree Ramana Maharshi
and also gratitude to great philosophers and others     for the collection)