Day by Day with Bhagavan - Part 9

Day by Day with Bhagavan

13-8-46

In the afternoon Mr. T.K. Doraiswami Iyer told Bhagavan

of Prof. Swaminathan and others in Madras suggesting that

on the Jubilee Day we might have here some music

performance and speeches in different languages from eminent

persons. Bhagavan did not seem to be much in favour of it.

He said, “What is this, sending for such people from such

long distance? After all, each of them can speak only a few

minutes as there are to be so many. And what expense!” Then

I told Bhagavan, “This is all for our benefit. These people

who will be coming here will be coming not simply to lecture.

They will be coming primarily for Bhagavan’s darshan and

we are going to ask them to speak too. That is all.”

14-8-46

This morning Mrs. Taleyarkhan told Bhagavan, “Bhagavan,

I have got a letter from Shanta (the Maharani of Baroda).

Bhagavan has performed a miracle and she is writing about it. It

seems she went out in a car and on the way the car broke down

and the driver could do nothing about it. So, it seems, he took the

Rani’s permission and went to phone for another car. Meanwhile,

it seems a striking-looking and mild sadhu suddenly appeared

on the scene and touched the car and said, ‘You can go on now.’

The driver returned and when he started the engine, the car moved

on without any trouble. The Rani thinks it was all Bhagavan’s

grace. She is writing, expressing regret for her inability to be

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present at the Jubilee.” So saying Mrs. T. showed the letter and

Bhagavan perused it. He came across “Roman Emperor” in the

letter and asked, “Who is the Roman Emperor?” I told Bhagavan

that by that they mean our Sarvadhikari, and Mrs. T. added “Yes.

We call him that”.

Soon afterwards, as directed by Bhagavan, I read out a

long letter from a devotee of Calcutta who was here two or

three years ago for five or six days, it seems. In that letter he

relates how, after he thought that Bhagavan was not showing

him any grace, suddenly on the fifth day of his stay, he got, by

no effort of his own, experience of a state in which consciousness

of body, world and all, totally left him and he was pure

consciousness and nothing else.

Afternoon

The Sarvadhikari, Mr. T.K.D., and Ranganatha Iyer have

all fixed up a programme for the speeches and the music

performance on 1-9-46, and they sent me to Bhagavan with it for

getting his approval for the same. He declined to give any opinion

and said, “Let them fix it up as they like. Don’t ask me anything

about it.” When I pleaded for his approval, he remarked, “Why

should they consult me about this now? Did they consult me

before deciding to have these speeches and music, that they should

consult me now about the time?” Thereupon I said, “True, at

Madras, on the suggestion of Mr. Swaminathan and others, they

had decided on having all these things. But even now, if Bhagavan

does not like all this, we can stop it, what is there?” Thereupon

he relented and said, “You may tell them I have no objection.

But I must be left off at my usual hours.” I at once replied, “Of

course, that will be done” and we so ordered the programme that

Bhagavan could rise at 4-45 p.m. as usual, after all the speeches,

and could come back about 5-00 p.m. to start the music by Musiri.

In the evening, Muruganar brought a few verses

composed by him at our request for the Golden Jubilee.

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Bhagavan at once went through them and made one or two

corrections and kept them aside saying, “Tomorrow we shall

do the rest, deciding what heading we shall give them.”

17-8-46

This morning, a number of Gujerati visitors arrived here,

evidently returning from Pondicherry, after darshan there on

the 15th. One of them asked Bhagavan, “What is meant by

Self-realisation? Materialists say there is no such thing as God

or Self.” Bhagavan said, “Never mind what the materialists or

others say; and don’t bother about Self or God. Do you exist or

not? What is your idea of yourself? What do you mean by ‘I’?”

The visitor said he did not understand by ‘I’ his body, but

something within his body. Thereupon, Bhagavan continued,

“You concede ‘I’ is not the body but something within it. See

then from whence the ‘I’ arises within the body. See whether it

arises and disappears, or is always present. You will admit there

is an ‘I’ which emerges as soon as you wake up, sees the body,

the world and all else, and ceases to exist when you sleep; and

that there is another ‘I’ which exists apart from the body,

independently of it, and which alone is with you when the body

and the world do not exist for you, as for instance in sleep.

Then ask yourself if you are not the same ‘I’ during sleep and

during the other states. Are there two ‘I’s? You are the same

one person always. Now, which can be real, the ‘I’ which comes

and goes, or the ‘I’ which always abides? Then you will know

that you are the Self. This is called Self-realisation. Selfrealisation

is not however a state which is foreign to you, which

is far from you, and which has to be reached by you. You are

always in that state. You forget it, and identify yourself with

the mind and its creation. To cease to identify yourself with the

mind is all that is required. We have so long identified ourselves

with the not-Self that we find it difficult to regard ourselves as

the Self. Giving up this identification with the not-Self is all

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that is meant by Self-realisation. How to realise, i.e., make real,

the Self? We have realised, i.e., regarded as real, what is unreal,

the not-Self. To give up such false realisation is Self-realisation.”

In the evening, after parayana, a visitor asked Bhagavan,

“How to control the wandering mind?” He prefaced the question

with the remark, “I want to ask Bhagavan a question which is

troubling me.” Bhagavan replied, after laughing, “This is nothing

peculiar to you. This is the question which is always asked by

everybody and which is dealt with in all the books like the Gita.

What way is there, except to draw in the mind as often as it

strays or goes outward, and to fix it in the Self, as the Gita advises?

Of course, it won’t be easy to do it. It will come only with practice

or sadhana.” The visitor said, “The mind goes after only what it

desires and won’t get fixed on the object we set before it.”

Bhagavan said, “Everybody will go after only what gives

happiness to him. Thinking that happiness comes from some

object or other, you go after it. See from whence all happiness,

including the happiness you regard as coming from sense objects,

really comes. You will understand all happiness comes only from

the Self, and then you will always abide in the Self.”

21-8-46 Afternoon

A visitor from Bengal asked Bhagavan, “Shankara says

we are all free, not bound, and that we shall all go back to

God from whom we have come as sparks from fire. Then,

why should we not commit all sorts of sins?”

Bhagavan: It is true we are not bound, i.e., the real

Self has no bondage. It is true you will eventually go back

to your source. But meanwhile, if you commit sins, as you

call them, you have to face the consequences of such sins.

You cannot escape their consequences. If a man beats you,

then, can you say, ‘I am free, I am not bound by these

beatings and I don’t feel any pain. Let him beat on?’ If you

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can feel like that, you can go on doing what you like. What

is the use of merely saying with your lips ‘I am free?’

The visitor also asked, “The books mention several

methods for Self-realisation. Which is the easiest and best?”

Bhagavan: Several methods are mentioned to suit several

minds. They are all good. You can choose whatever method

appeals to you best.

Later, Lakshmi (Sambasiva Rao’s sister) read before

Bhagavan a few Telugu songs composed by her for Bhagavan’s

Golden Jubilee. Bhagavan came here fifty years ago on Navami

tithi following Gokulashtami and, as this is Navami, the Golden

Jubilee of his arrival according to tithi will be today, and hence

she thought her songs could most appropriately be sung today.

She began, however, reading in such a low key that after a few

minutes Bhagavan asked her, “Are you able to hear it yourself?”

Somebody suggested Nagamma might read the verses instead

and so N. read them out aloud.

This morning, Mr. Somasundaram Pillai brought his

wife’s verses and mine, which he got printed at Conjeevaram

and showed to Bhagavan a copy of each set. Bhagavan perused

them and said, “The paper is thick and good.” Then I explained,

“These are the copies to be laid at Bhagavan’s feet. The other

copies are printed on slightly inferior paper.”

On 23-8-46 morning I left for Madras to attend the

marriage of my daughter’s son on the 28th inst. and returned

on the 30th evening.

30-8-46

On the 30th evening, when I arrived, the Asramam was

already crowded with devotees who had come from various

parts to attend the Jubilee on 1st September. The new (thatched)

shed, built contiguous with Bhagavan’s hall on its northern side,

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had been already completed with the floor also fully cemented,

and the old ugly parapet wall of the well had been removed and

in its place a fine looking parapet wall erected. The steps leading

from the eastern verandah of Bhagavan’s hall to the quadrangle

and the new shed on the north have been considerably improved

and beautified. Further, a temporary shed, contiguous with the

new northern shed, has also been put up to provide sitting

accommodation to the crowds that are expected on the 1st. I

found Bhagavan seated at the western end of the new shed, on

a stone platform. Mr. C. Madhavaraya Mudaliar (my brotherin-

law) and myself prostrated ourselves. Bhagavan asked, “You

have just come? How did you come; and who else?” I replied,

“I came by train up to Katpadi, arriving there about 12 noon.

From thence I went to Vellore and took the bus and have arrived

here just now. There was no difficulty at all about travelling. I

and my brother-in-law alone have come now. But Kotiswaran

and his wife will come tomorrow evening.”

31-8-46 Morning

An address in Malayalam, composed by Narain Pisharoti

(our compounder) was read out by him. Then an address in

Tamil composed by Uma (i.e., Mrs. Somasundaram Pillai)

was read out by her husband.

Most of the morning, the blind Brahmin girl, Janaki

Ammal of Conjeevaram, entertained Bhagavan with her music

on the Veena.

Afternoon

Mr. Siva Mohan Lal of Hyderabad read out an address

in Hindi. We asked him to translate the same into English for

the benefit of those who did not know Hindi. But as he could

not easily translate it extempore, we asked him to write out

the translation and to read the same before Bhagavan later.

Then Ramachandra Rao began to read out an address in

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Canarese. But soon he began delivering a speech with the

writing in his hand only as notes for his speech. Bhagavan

also remarked, “He is not simply reading an address. With

the address in his hand, he is firing away as he pleases

(ûL«úX Notes YfÑiÓ @Yo TôhÓdÏ @¥d¡øo).”

He has also composed two songs in Canarese and he finished

by saying that those songs would be sung by Chandramma.

Somasundaram Pillai next read out a message from one

Angayarkkanni in Tamil. Next Chandramma read out the

Canarese songs of R. Rao.

Finally Balaram read out the Telugu message sent by

G.V.Subbaramayya, which was short and sweet. It said in

effect, “May the Golden Jubilee of the day which joined

Ramana to Arunachala — (that Ramana who is always

shedding compassion and grace) — be a grand success!”

1-9-46

This is the Golden Jubilee of Bhagavan’s arrival at

Tiruvannamalai. I went to the hall about 5-30 a.m. hoping to

see Bhagavan there, to fall at his feet, and to offer some fruits

and two bath towels. But I found that today the parayana was

started about 4 a.m. and closed at 5 a.m. and that Bhagavan

went to the bathroom as early as 5 a.m.

After Bhagavan had his breakfast and returned from his

stroll, a number of married women (sumangalis) headed by

Uma came from the Temple in a procession, doing bhajan and

carrying a milk-pot, and Uma and her daughter sang a Tamil

song and offered milk to Bhagavan. He took a spoon of the

milk and the rest was distributed among the devotees. Then I

read out Colombo Ramachandra’s Ramanashtakam, in Tamil,

and also my five stanzas composed for the Jubilee. Then Uma

read out her Muthumalai composed for the occasion. Printed

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copies of all the three compositions were then distributed to

the devotees. Printed copies of tributes by Turiyananda in Tamil,

K.Vaidyanatha Aiyar of Vellore in English verse, T.K. Sundaresa

Iyer in Tamil verse, and K.R. Seshagiri Aiyar in English were

also read out and distributed. One Mr. Bhatt also read out his

Canarese songs. Then a gentleman introduced by Dr. T.N.K.

gave a performance on gottu vadyam. Mr. Chellam Iyer, of

Kalaimagal office, read out Muruganar’s poems composed for

the occasion, including one which he composed at the moment.

After lunch Bhagavan would not allow himself even his

usual rest, but insisted on being available for devotees who had

come from far and near and so, soon after his return from the

after-lunch stroll, various addresses in different languages were

read out. One of them was from the Hindi Prachar Sabha.

Another was Dr. Siva Rao’s tribute in English which was read

out and also translated into Tamil by Mr. T.K.D. Iyer. Mr. Siva

Mohan Lal also read out the English translation of the Hindi

address he read to Bhagavan yesterday. Dr. Siva Rao’s address

in effect said, “I have been trying my humble best to cure

Bhagavan of various bodily ailments of his. But all my efforts

have proved vain, except to give some temporary relief. I believe

this is due to my ego having presumed that it can cure Bhagavan.

All people today are offering various things to Bhagavan —

fruits, flowers, clothes, books, etc. I have decided to offer my

ego. I place it at Bhagavan’s feet and beg him to accept it.”

About 2-30 p.m., the programme already planned and

published for the Jubilee was begun with Mr. Justice

Kuppuswamy Aiyer as President. He made a few introductory

remarks in English. Then Mr. T.K.D. read out Sir S.

Radhakrishnan’s article, intended for inclusion in the Souvenir

Volume, but which, though posted in Calcutta on 7th August,

was received here only on the 30th. Then the following spoke:

Swami Rajeswarananda and Prof. T.M.P. Mahadevan of the

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Madras University, in English, Justice Chandrasekara Iyer in

Telugu, Chellam Iyer of Kalaimagal office and Omandur

Ramaswami Reddiar in Tamil, Mr. S.R. Venkatarama Sastri (of

Vivekananda College) in Sanskrit, and Mr. Airavatam Aiyer, in

Malayalam. After the speeches, Viswanatha Sastri recited a few

Sanskrit songs, and Kunjuswami a few Tamil songs of Bhagavan

and of one Venkatarama Iyer (author of Ramana Stuti

Panchakam). Bhagavan then rose at 4-45 p.m. as usual. After he

returned about 5 p.m., Mr. Annamalai Pillai, the local Congress

leader, made a speech in Tamil, on behalf of the citizens of

Tiruvannamalai, expressing joy and gratitude on Bhagavan’s

completing fifty years’ stay here. Then Musiri Subramania Iyer

gave a very moving and devotional musical performance till about

6-45. For the speeches and music excellent loudspeaker

arrangements had been made by the local Municipal Chairman

and it was a great convenience for the crowds who had gathered.

Finally Veda parayana brought the day’s function to a close.

2-9-46

Early in the morning, old Mr. Ranganatha Iyer told

Bhagavan, “We have had a very good shower of rain last night.

It is fortunate that it did not interfere with our celebrations

yesterday, but came on only in the night after everything was

over.” Bhagavan said, “I remember the same thing happened

on the night of 1-9-1896, when I arrived here. It seems they

had no rains for a long time then. But on that night there was a

heavy downpour. I was then staying at the mantapam in front

of the Big Temple. Only that morning for the first time I had

discarded all my clothes, except a cod-piece and, on account of

the rains beating in, and the cold winds blowing about, I found

the cold unbearable, and so I ran from there and took shelter on

the pial of a house nearby. About midnight some inmates of the

house came out opening the street door and I ran into the Big

Temple. For some days after that too, it rained!”

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After Bhagavan’s morning stroll, various articles about

Bhagavan were read out in the hall, two from the Sunday

Times, one from Free India and one from Bombay Samachar

(in Gujerati). In the afternoon Nagamma read out her Telugu

poem on Ramana Swarna Utsava Vaibhavam. Only today

Bhagavan had time to look at the Souvenir Volume, which

was presented to him on the Jubilee Day. He had been given a

volume bound in silk and with gold-washed front and back

pages. The deluxe edition had a gold-washed front page. The

library in the hall had been given one ordinary copy and one

deluxe edition. The Sarvadhikari came and saw these, as also

a specially bound volume of V. Sastri’s Sanskrit Life of

Bhagavan and instructed T.S.R. that the specially bound

volumes of the Souvenir and V. Sastri’s book should not be

given to anybody. After Sarvadhikari left, Bhagavan asked

T.S.R., laughing, “He has told you these volumes should not

be given to anybody. May I read them?” T.S.R. said, “He only

meant I should not give these to anybody except Bhagavan.”

In the evening Mr. Desai read out an English translation

of Ganga Ben Patel’s Gujerati article in the Bombay Samachar.

There was a reference in the article to the cow Lakshmi; and

Rani Mazumdar who was listening to the article from the

verandah close to the eastern window of the hall asked me to

put the following question to Bhagavan and get his reply.

Question: It is said that the old lady Keerai Patti was

born as Lakshmi. How can one, who had the unique good

fortune of serving Bhagavan well and lovingly, have to be

born again at all, and even if she had to be born, how could

she be born as a cow? Is it not said in all our books that birth

as a human being is the best birth one can have?

Bhagavan: I never said Keerai Patti had been born as a cow.

I said, “I have already told Rani so. But she says, ‘It has

been said and also written down in so many books and articles

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and Bhagavan has not denied it. So we can take it as the truth’.”

I added, “But she puts the question on the assumption that the

cow is the old woman reborn, whether Bhagavan has said so

or not, and she desires an answer.” Thereupon Bhagavan said,

“It is not true that birth as a man is necessarily the highest,

and that one must attain realisation only from being a man.

Even an animal can attain Self-realisation.”

In the conversation that followed on this, Bhagavan said,

“Even as a calf only some days old, Lakshmi behaved in an

extraordinary way. She would daily come to me and place her

head at my feet. On the day the foundation was laid for the

goshala (cow-shed), she was so jubilant and came and took me

for the function. Again on the day of grahapravesam she came

straight to me at the time appointed and took me. In so many

ways and on so many occasions, she behaved in such a sensible

and extremely intelligent way that one cannot but regard it as

an extraordinary cow. What are we to say about it?”

This night Mr. Framji Dorabji, ably helped by

Mrs. Taleyarkhan, showed Bhagavan the film ‘Nandanar’ in

Tamil in our dining hall.

3-9-46 Afternoon

Nagamma read out Nellore Narasinga Rao’s poem on

Bhagavan for the Jubilee. Bhagavan suggested that the

Souvenir be read out, adding, “I don’t know what it contains.

I have not looked into the articles so far.” Thereupon I read

out a few pages. In the night the film ‘Tukaram’ in Marathi

was shown to Bhagavan.

4-9-46 Morning

About 10 a.m. I continued reading the Souvenir. In the

afternoon again, I read out the Souvenir and then Viswanath

and also Balaram.

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This night another film, ‘Bhartruhari’ in Hindi, was

shown to Bhagavan.

5-9-46

Reading out the Souvenir was continued by me, V. and

B. in the afternoon.

The whole day Bhagavan was trying to find out the true

history of King Bhartruhari and looked into a number of books,

giving various versions of the famous King’s life. The first

account Bhagavan looked into was Banky Bihari’s introduction

to his English translation of Bhartruhari’s poems. Finally

Bhagavan said, “No version agrees with another, and there are

four or five of them. But all agree that the immortality-yielding

object was given by the King to his queen and by the queen to

someone else and that the King renounced all because of his

sudden discovery that his queen was not true to him. In that,

last night’s film also did not err from the original.”

6 to 9-9-46

Reading of the Souvenir was continued and the same

ended on the last date.

11-9-46

It seems today Rangaswami (an attendant) was trying to

coax Bhagavan into eating an orange about noon and, when he

told Bhagavan, “These oranges and other fruits are all brought

in by devotees only so that Bhagavan may use them. So, why

should not Bhagavan use them?” It seems Bhagavan replied,

“Why should you think that I eat only when I eat with this

mouth? I eat through a thousand mouths.” R. told me of this.

Today Mr. T.P. Ramachandra Aiyer arrived from Madras.

Bhagavan said on seeing him, “What, you have gone down very

much. You look a different man.” T.P.R. said, “My foot became

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swollen. The doctors couldn’t diagnose it properly; besides, I

have had a lot of strain (@~fNp).” Bhagavan is criticised by

some as being so impersonal and abstracted that he cannot appeal

to most people. I record this instance to refute such criticism.

That one remark of Bhagavan must have meant so much to T.P.R.

Many others, including myself, have had such proofs of love and

attention from Bhagavan. This reminds me that just a few days

ago, S. Doraiswamy Iyer came here one afternoon with four or

five of his friends, and Bhagavan remarked as soon as S.D. entered

the hall, “Very unexpected”, and thereupon S.D. explained,

“These friends suddenly proposed about 10 a.m. today that we

should come here, have darshan of Bhagavan, visit the temple

and go back, and that is how I came.”

12-9-46

Casually going through T.P.R.’s notebook I came across

an entry there — Mithya=Jagat; Brahma bhavam=Satyam.

As I remembered Bhagavan occasionally saying mithya

means satyam, but did not quite grasp its significance, I asked

Bhagavan about it. He said, “Yes. I say that now and then.

What do you mean by real or satyam? Which do you call

real?” I answered, “According to Vedanta, that which is

permanent and unchanging, that alone is real. That of course

is the definition of Reality.” Then, Bhagavan said, “These

names and forms which constitute the world always change

and perish. Hence they are called mithya. To limit the Self

and regard it as these names and form is mithya. To regard all

as Self is the Reality. The Advaitin says jagat is mithya, but

he also says ‘All this is Brahman’. So it is clear that what he

condemns is regarding the world as such to be real, not

regarding the world as Brahman. He who sees the Self, sees

only the Self in the world also. To the jnani it is immaterial

whether the world appears or not. Whether it appears or not,

his attention is always on the Self. It is like the letters and the

paper on which the letters are printed. You are wholly

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engrossed with the letters and have no attention left for the

paper. But the jnani thinks only of the paper as the real

substratum, whether the letters appear on it or not.”

13-9-46

Today, one Mrs. Barwell (whose husband, it is said, is a

barrister now staying at Almora), accompanied by the principal

of the Women’s Christian College at Madras, visited the

Asramam. The former comes introduced by Miss Merston

and has already written to the Asramam for accommodation.

The Asramam has not been able to find accommodation for

her. But today, Mr. McIver has promised to find

accommodation for her in his compound and so she is planning

to go and come back here with her things in a week’s time.

Her friend also goes back with her and intends to spend the

forthcoming dasara holidays here with some of her students.

This lady (the principal) seems to have already met some wellknown

disciples of Bhagavan, such as Grant Duff.

14-9-46

This morning Mr. Naganariya came and prostrated

himself before Bhagavan, placing a manuscript and some fruits

at his feet. Bhagavan asked him when he came, and he replied,

“I came last night itself.” Then Bhagavan looked into the Ms.,

for a few minutes and returned it. It is Trisulapura Mahatmyam

in Telugu verse.

Afternoon

When I went into the hall, Bhagavan was reading an

article in the Tamil paper Hindusthan by K.R.R. Sastri, who

has, it seems, just returned from a trip to England and America.

In the article, he mentions he visited Ramana Asramam before

he made this foreign tour. Then Bhagavan said, “I believe he

has sent some poem in Tamil or English for the Jubilee.” I

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replied that I had seen the poem and that it was in English.

But I was not sure whether I read the thing in the Souvenir

Volume or elsewhere. Not finding it in its contents, I took up

the file of cuttings, etc., relating to the Jubilee and as I opened

it, it opened, strange to say, exactly at the page where a typed

copy of this poem of K.R.R. was found pasted. I showed the

same to Bhagavan, and he said, “That is the poem I meant.”

Nagamma read out the dedication to Trisulapura

Mahatmyam of Naganariya, saying, “I find this dedication is

a Jubilee tribute to Bhagavan.” At the head of each chapter

too, N. had a stanza in praise of Bhagavan. So we asked her

to read those stanzas also. As the dedication seemed good, I

requested G. Subba Rao to give us a free translation in English

and he said he would write down one.

My brother has written in a letter to me that Krishna and

Nammalvar have said that God will come to us in whatever

form we worship Him; I wrote to my brother in my reply, “A

jnani is the highest manifestation of God on earth, next perhaps

only to an avatar.” In connection with this sentence, I wanted

to have my doubt cleared about the relative position of a jnani

and an avatar. Then Bhagavan was pleased to tell me that,

according to the books, the jnani was higher than the avatar.

But when I corrected my letter accordingly, he said, “Why do

you correct it? Let it go as it is.”

A little later, R. Narayana Iyer came and Bhagavan asked

him, “You have come by the 3 p.m. train, have you?” He said,

“Yes”, and added, “The present timings are convenient for

me. On Saturday, I can arrive here earlier, and on Mondays I

can leave here later than under the old timings.”

Then somebody said, “Kalyanarama Aiyer is also now in

Tirukoilur” and I asked about his exact relationship to the late

Echamma. I was told he was her brother’s son. In this connection,

his sister, Chellammal, brought up by Echamma was mentioned,

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and Mr. Viswanath said, “It was for her that Bhagavan wrote the

three songs in Tamil on sat sang”. Then I said, “I thought it was

for Rajammal that Bhagavan wrote them.” Then Bhagavan

related, “One day I was going out from Skandasramam. In those

days Chellamma, Rajamma and others used to go to me on

Saturdays and Sundays when they had no school. They would

go by themselves to me, whether they had any escort or not. That

day I found Chellammal had some bit of a journal or newspaper

in her hand and was getting by heart a song from Yoga Vasishtam

in praise of the benefits of sat sang:

@\dÏû\ûY ¨û\YôdÏg NmTjRôdÏ

UôTjûRf ÑTUôdÏ UÑTk Ru{f

£\dÏØVok RYoáhP ùUàe LeûLf

ºR¿ Wô¥]odÏf ùNk¾ úYs®

«\dL¬V RYkRô]k ¾ojRm úYiPô

ªPoTkR UßjùRYodÏ ª²úVôWô¡l

©\lùTàmúY ~l×|Vô ØQoÜ Nôu\

ùT¬úVôûW ùVqYûLÙm úTQpúYiÓm

(The imperfect will become perfect, danger good luck, the

inauspicious auspicious, by association with holy men. For those

who have bathed in the Ganges of fellowship with such realized

souls, homa (offering, oblations in fire), yagna, penance, almsgiving,

bathing in sacred rivers, are all unnecessary. Seek,

therefore, by all means the company of the good and wise,

which is a boat to carry one across the ocean of birth and death).

“When I found the girl so keen on the matter I composed

those three songs on sat sang which are a translation of the

Sanskrit songs, with which by that time I had become quite

familiar, because they had been so often recited before me by

various devotees who visited me. At that time, I did not know

that any of those Sanskrit songs had been translated by

anybody in Tamil. But some years afterwards, when Rajammal

delivered a lecture on sat sang she quoted a Tamil stanza which

310

was a Tamil translation of one of those three songs.” Then I

said, “I also remember that lecture of hers. It was at

Villupuram. They sent me a copy of that lecture.”

Bhagavan related how Echamma, after she lost her own

daughter, brought up her brother’s daughter, this Chellammal,

and added, “Chellammal used often to go to me as a school

girl. Afterwards too, she always thought of me. In every letter

of hers, she would refer to me both in the beginning and the

end. She died soon after she gave birth to Ramanan, the boy

who is now in Bombay. They brought the boy here, (it was

soon after we came here and we had only a small thatched

room in which the tomb was located and I was also staying).

On seeing the babe, I could not help thinking of its mother

and I wept for her.” (Bhagavan was moved even now after

several years when recounting the event to me).

In the evening, after parayana, Balaram read out an

article in English in the Sunday Leader of Allahabad, on

Bhagavan and his teachings.

15-9-46

This afternoon, Nagamma read out an account in Telugu

of all that took place on the Jubilee Day. I found from what

Bhagavan and T.S.R. said that, in addition to what I have noted

on the first of September, two other addresses were also read,

one from the Arya Vaisya Samajam and another from the firm

of Messrs. Munuswami Chetti & Brothers, and that at about 11

a.m. that day, the priests from the Big Temple came with

Arunachaleswarar’s prasad to Bhagavan. Later, Nagamma also

read out a portion of Naganariya’s Ms. as desired by the author.

17-9-46

This night about 9-15 p.m., T.S.R.’s child Ramana was

bitten by something near the well in their compound. After a

311

few minutes, the child was suffering very much, vomiting

and perspiring profusely. They consulted Dr. Siva Rao living

next door and he gave something which he said was a general

antidote for all poisons. In a few minutes he felt the child’s

pulse and advised them it would be better to take the child to

Bhagavan. They accordingly brought the child and when they

entered the Asramam compound the child was in a state almost

of collapse, the body having become chill and the breath

almost ceasing. They entered the hall, and told Bhagavan, and

he touched the child, passing his hand all over the child’s

body as if soothing the child, and said, “It is nothing. He will

be all right.” It was only after that, the parents had some hope

that the child would survive. When they came out of the hall,

they came across our Ramaswami Pillai, and he showed them

another visitor who had come to the Asramam only this

afternoon, who was an expert in saving people from snakebites,

etc. and pronounced some mantras on the child and

declared the poison had been got rid of by his mantras. The

child recovered gradually, and the parents have told me that it

was saved only through Bhagavan’s grace. Another thing

which may also be mentioned here is that the child himself,

as soon as he felt pain, cried out, “Let us go to Bhagavan. The

pain will go if we go there”, though on some occasions he

would even refuse to be taken to Bhagavan when the parents

proposed to take him there.

This evening at about 6 p.m. Mr. Colombo

Ramachandra’s letter to Bhagavan with seven copies of his

Ashtakam was received and Bhagavan gave one to me and

one to Somasundaram Pillai as desired by R. in his letter.

Bhagavan found the order of the stanzas was not as printed

under Bhagavan’s directions here. Bhagavan said, “He had

stuck to his order”. Thereupon I said, “These leaflets must

have been printed before R. received our leaflet and the letter

accompanying it.”

312

18-9-46

This morning, when I left my room about 9-30 a.m., for

the hall, it struck me I might read out the Ashtakam of Colombo

Ramachandra, of which Bhagavan gave me a copy last

evening. As I went and prostrated myself before Bhagavan,

he was telling T.S.R. with the Ashtakam in his hand, “Should

we not have it read out here, as it arrived only last evening?”

and. T.S.R. said, “Here Mr. Mudaliar has also come. We will

ask him to read it out.” Accordingly I read out the same, telling

Bhagavan, “Somehow, I too thought of reading this today here

and have brought the leaflet with me. Here it is.” I had read

out the Ashtakam before Bhagavan even as it was being

composed in parts, and once after all the eight were finished

during Ramachandra’s illness here; and again I had read it

out on Jubilee Day. But it is strange that I should have thought

of doing the same today also and that Bhagavan too should

have thought of it at the same time.

20-9-46

This afternoon, from a book that Anandammal brought,

Bhagavan was able to find out the story of how Goraknath killed

his Master Maschendra’s child, etc., which Bhagavan was trying

to trace on the 5th instant after having seen the film “Bhartruhari”

the previous night. In this story it is said that Chandu Nath wanted

to write to Goraknath, but not being sure how to address him, in

a patronising manner as a superior, or as a junior writing to a

senior, finally sent a blank piece of paper. In this connection,

Bhagavan said, “This reminds me of an incident in my boyhood.

I was quite young and did not know much about letter-writing

and I wrote to my aunt’s son (father’s sister’s son) aneka

asirvadam (i.e., many blessings, in the manner of an elder giving

his blessings). When he came, he ridiculed me for having sent

blessings to him (who was about 10 years older than myself).

But I did not know then who should bless whom. I only knew

313

that whenever my father wrote to him, he used to write ‘My

blessings to Ramu’, and so I thought that was the way a letter

ought to be written. That to some, blessings had to be given and

to others salutations — I did not know then.”

Mr. Daniel Thomas, minister, visited Bhagavan today

about 4 p.m. He stayed in Bhagavan’s presence for about 15

minutes and then left. He was presiding over a function in the

town in connection with the Golden Jubilee of this

Municipality. I was in Tinnevelly for one and a half years in

1910 to 1912, when this gentleman also joined the bar. He

put no questions to Bhagavan. The press representative Mr.

Tilak was here and apparently took a snap of the minister.

21-9-46

This morning, as directed by Bhagavan, a letter received

by me from K. Ramachandra of Colombo and another received

by Uma were read out in the hall. The letters described how

the Jubilee was celebrated in Mr. Ramachandra’s house with

about 250 devotees (of different castes), each one of whom

placed flowers at Bhagavan’s feet and worshipped him, and

how all left with the feeling that Bhagavan was present in

their midst that day. The letter to Uma quoted two stanzas

from Subrahmanya Bhujangam as very aptly describing

Bhagavan and also said that R.’s Ashtakam was really

composed by Bhagavan who inspired the lines. Otherwise R.

cannot explain why, when the children sing the Ashtakam at

prayer time, he goes into ecstasy and forgets himself.

In the afternoon, Nagamma read out her revised account

of the Jubilee celebrations. It is very well written and full of

bhakti rasa. It will soon appear in print. When R.’s letter was

read out and the two stanzas therein from Subrahmanya

Bhujangam were quoted, Bhagavan said that it was Mr. K.V.R.

Iyer (deceased brother of our Ramanatha Iyer) who first

314

published from here the above work, though subsequently other

editions and some translations in Tamil also have come out.

One Mr. V.P. Sarathi from Masulipatnam had sent a volume

of typed poems in English entitled Nivedana to Bhagavan. It

seems he offered them at Bhagavan’s feet in celebration, in his

house, on Bhagavan’s Jubilee on 1-9-46. They were received

at the Asramam recently and T.P.R. read the poems out in the

hall. The poems were good and well worth hearing.

22-9-46

Today about 4 p.m. the Minister, Mrs. Rukmini

Lakshmipati and Mr. Sivashanmugam (Speaker of the

Legislative Assembly) visited the Asramam. They were

escorted by local Congress leader Mr. Annamalai Pillai and

the Deputy Collector, Mr. Vaidyanatha Aiyar. They sat in the

hall for some time and then left.

1-10-46

Dilip Kumar Roy of Aurobindo’s Ashram came here last

night, and this morning he sang a few songs before Bhagavan.

Later when Bhagavan was perusing The New Times of today, he

read out to us that at Mount Abu, two serpents fought each other,

that one vanquished the other which became unconscious and at

that stage a boy who came across the scene did some first aid to

the defeated serpent and put a cold bandage over it, that the injured

serpent slowly revived, that seeing all this, the victor serpent was

enraged and bit the boy, that the vanquished snake, which had by

now recovered and revived under the boy’s treatment, ran to the

boy, sucked out the other serpent’s poison and saved the boy.

When Bhagavan read all this out to us, I said, “It looks incredible.”

Mrs. T. to whom T.P.R. recounted the story also remarked, “Is

this a story or what?” Then Dilip asked Bhagavan whether all

this was possible. Bhagavan said, “Why not? Quite possible.”

315

Roy even asked, “How could the vanquished snake know and do

all this?” Bhagavan said, “Why? It was watching what the boy

did to it, what the other snake did to the boy and so it ran and

sucked out the poison. Snakes see and observe and can do such

things. Many stories like this have been told of serpents.”

2-10-46

This morning again Dilip sang a few songs before Bhagavan.

4-10-46

In the afternoon Nagamma asked that a copy of her letter

to her brother, describing the first visit to Bhagavan of Princess

Prabhavati with her husband after their marriage might be shown

to Madhavi Amma (K.K. Nambiar’s sister) now here.

Thereupon, Bhagavan asked, “What is that letter? Have I heard

it?” Nagamma said, “No”. I said, “Then, why not read it now?

We are all here (I meant Professors G.V. Subbaramayya, D.S.

Sarma, K. Swaminathan) and we can all hear it.” Thereupon

she read out the letter. Later Bhagavan asked G.V.S. if he had

seen Nagamma’s song and Chinta Dikshitulu’s Nivedana which

were printed about Jubilee time. He said ‘No’ and thereupon

Bhagavan asked T.S.R. to show him the above two pamphlets.

He also asked T.S.R. to show G.V.S. the Telugu rendering of

Bhagavan’s four songs in connection with his mother’s serious

fever, made by Mr. Narasinga Rao of Nellore. G.V.S. saw the

same and said, “They have not so far been translated into

Telugu.” In explaining the first of these Tamil songs, Bhagavan

told us that in the Tamil @~Vôn YÚ©\® @jR{ÙUôt\

U~Vôn etc., we can have either Uôt\ or At\ as we like

when splitting the sandhi. If we take it as Uôt\, it would mean

“To change the countless waves of births and deaths, Arunachala

rises as a mountain in the middle of the waves”. If we take it as

At\, it would mean “To cure or heal the disease of countless

births, the Arunachala Hill has risen as a medicine.”

316

In the evening after parayana, Dilip again sang a few songs

from Ganapati Sastri’s Forty Verses on Bhagavan. About seven,

he stopped singing. Mrs. T. told Bhagavan, “He has composed

three songs on Bhagavan’s smile. They are very good,” and

requested D. to sing them. But he excused himself, saying, “They

are in Bengali”. A few minutes later, I went and told him, “We

generally have Tamil parayana between seven and seven-thirty.

Today, we have cancelled that item and made that interval

available for your songs. So, unless you find it inconvenient for

you to sing any more, please sing one or two songs more.” D.

said “Is that so?” and then gave us two more songs, one on Devi

and one on Siva. He told Bhagavan he was leaving the next

morning and that he had great peace during his stay here.

This evening, D.S. Sarma, asked Bhagavan: “In Western

mysticism three definite stages are often spoken of — viz.,

Purgation, illumination and union. Was there any such stage as

purgation — corresponding to what we call sadhana — in

Bhagavan’s life?” Bhagavan replied, “I have never done any

sadhana. I did not even know what sadhana was. Only long

afterwards I came to know what sadhana was and how many

different kinds of it there were. It is only if there was any object

or anything different from me that I could think of it. Only if

there was a goal to attain, I should have made sadhana to attain

that goal. There was nothing which I wanted to obtain. I am now

sitting with my eyes open. I was then sitting with my eyes closed.

That was all the difference. I was not doing any sadhana even

then. As I sat with my eyes closed, people said I was in samadhi.

As I was not talking, they said I was in mauna. The fact is, I did

nothing. Some Higher Power took hold of me and I was entirely

in Its hand.” Bhagavan further added, “The books no doubt speak

of sravana, manana, nididhyasana, samadhi and sakshatkara.

We are always sakshat and what is there for one to attain karam

of that? We call this world sakshat or pratyaksha. What is

changing, what appears and disappears, what is not sakshat, we

317

regard as sakshat. We are always and nothing can be more directly

present pratyaksha than we, and about that we say we have to

attain sakshatkaram after all these sadhanas. Nothing can be

more strange than this. The Self is not attained by doing anything,

but remaining still and being as we are.”

5-10-46

This morning a person came and prostrated himself before

Bhagavan at the dining hall. He almost touched him, and as I

was wondering who it could be, the person announced himself

to Bhagavan as Vasu and Bhagavan said, “Is it you? If you had

not said it, I should never have recognised you. You have gone

down so much.” The visitor replied, “I find I must say the same

about Bhagavan.” To this Bhagavan said, “Why, what is the

matter with me? Probably because you are reduced, your

eyesight has also become reduced and I appear reduced to you!”

Later, in the hall, Bhagavan introduced this gentleman to all

present and said, “This is the Vasu who caught hold of me when

returning from an oil bath one hot day to Skandasramam and I

had that experience of what seemed like utter collapse with

even the heartbeat stopping.” Then Vasudeva Sastri said, “I was

then too young. I did not even know that it was death. But

because Palaniswami started crying, I thought it was death and

I caught hold of Bhagavan and I was trembling with grief.”

Bhagavan said here, “I could even in that state clearly see his

trembling and emotion.” V. added that, after Bhagavan

recovered, he told V. and Palani, “What? You thought I died?

Did you believe I would die even without telling you?”

Bhagavan also said, “We were in Virupakshi Cave and

when a tiger came that way one night, this is the person who

hastily ran into the cave leaving us in the verandah, shut the

door and then cried to the tiger, ‘Come on now. What can you

do?’” V. said, “Once Bhagavan and I went round the Hill during

the Skandasramam days. When we reached near Easanya Mutt

318

about 8-30 a.m., Bhagavan sat on a rock and said with tears in

his eyes he would never again come to the Asramam and would

go where he pleased and live in the forests or caves away from

all men. I would not leave him and he would not come. It became

very late. We went there about 8 or 8-30 a.m. and even when it

became 1 p.m. we were still in this deadlock. Bhagavan asked

me to go into the town and eat my food and then come back if

I wanted. But I was afraid that if I went Bhagavan would go

away somewhere. Meanwhile, the Swami of Easanya Mutt very

unexpectedly came that way. Ordinarily it could not be expected

he would have come there at that time at all. But strange to say,

he came that way and he persuaded Bhagavan to go with him

to Easanya Mutt. I left Bhagavan there and ran up to the town

for my food and came back swiftly, fearing that Bhagavan might

have left. But I found him there and we both came to

Skandasramam afterwards.”

When this was mentioned, Bhagavan said, “Another time

too I wanted to run away from all this crowd and live somewhere

unknown, freely as I liked. That was when I was in Virupakshi

Cave. I felt my being there was an inconvenience and hardship

to Jadaswami and some other swamis there. But on that occasion

my plans were frustrated by Yogananda Swami. I tried to be free

on a third occasion also. That was after mother’s passing away. I

did not want to have even an Asramam like Skandasramam and

the people that were coming there then. But the result has been

this Asramam and all the crowd here. Thus all my three attempts

failed.”

In another connection also Bhagavan mentioned this

Vasudeva Sastri today. Mr. G.V.S. read out a Telugu stanza

composed by him on celebration of birthdays (yesterday was

G.V.S.’s birthday, it seems). When this was read out, Bhagavan

said, “It is this Vasu and others that wanted to celebrate my

birthday first in 1912. I was quite opposed to it. But Vasu

pleaded with me: ‘It is for us and so Bhagavan should not

object’ and they celebrated it that year for the first time.”

319

In the afternoon, Sundaresa Iyer’s grandson (about a month

old) was brought by Mr. Narayanaswami Aiyar into the hall to

Bhagavan, his daughter following behind. Bhagavan took the

child into his hands, when it was offered by N. Aiyar and said, “I

was wondering whether you were bringing some doll. He is

looking at me and smiling.” After holding the child, Bhagavan

was about to return him to N. Aiyar, when his daughter ran up to

Bhagavan and, showing a red mark on the child’s abdomen, said,

“There is this red mark on the child. Further he had Brahma

mudi (literally, knot of Brahma) at the time of his birth.” Bhagavan

looked at the birthmark and then returned the child. The girl

continued and said, “We don’t know whether this mark and that

knot are good. Mother asked me to ask Bhagavan. Are they

good?” Bhagavan was pleased to say, “All is only good” (FpXôm

SpXÕ Rôu). I consider these people extremely lucky and I

believe all will be well with this child in his life. Bhagavan further

remarked, after the child was returned and was seated on his

grandmother’s lap, “It is to attain the state of this babe that all

yoga is performed. This babe, what thoughts has it now. It does

not even blink its eyes.” Then the child’s mother began singing

M.V.R.’s Saranagati song. Bhagavan turning to G.V.S. said, “Do

you know what happened to this girl? She was living at Cawnpore

on the second or third floor and, though there was a tap, it seems

water would not flow up there. But she turned the tap and sang

this song and then water flowed, it seems. That is a siddhi. When

the father went to her, she said, ‘I will show you a miracle’ and

repeated the performance before him.”

When the birthmark was shown and there was talk about

it, Bhagavan said, “I too have a red mark on the sole of my

right foot. But the mark on this child’s abdomen is big.” Then

T.S.R. said, “Mr. Ramaswamy Iyer has sung that Bhagavan’s

feet had become red on account of the burning tears shed at

His feet by devotees and another writer has described the red

mark as the anklet (pada chilambu) mark of Nataraja.”

320

Vasudeva Sastri recounted another incident, which he

had seen:

“One day, when we were at Skandasramam, I was aghast

to find a scorpion climbing up over Bhagavan’s body in the front

and another at the same time climbing down his back. I was

terrified and wanted to do something. But Bhagavan remained

calm, as if nothing happened, and the two scorpions, after crawling

over his body as if over a wall, eventually left him. After they

left, Bhagavan explained to us, ‘They crawl over you just as they

would crawl on the floor or a wall or tree. Do they crawl over

these, stinging as they go? It is only because you fear them and

do something that they fear you and do something in return’.”

6-10-46

This afternoon Bhagavan spoke of his days at

Pachaiamman Koil, when he had to remind the office to send

a reply to a relation of Rangachari (who used to go to Bhagavan

daily in those days, and remained with him, during the plague

scare, at the above Pachaiamman Koil). Bhagavan said, “On

account of plague, the whole town was completely evacuated

for six months. There was a staff of about two hundred people

who went on daily disinfecting house after house and they

lived in two camps, one of about one hundred and fifty near

Chetti Kolam Koil and another of fifty at the other end of the

town. I stayed at Pachaiamman Koil, with two or three others.

The disinfecting staff used to go to me frequently. They said

they were going to organise a bhajana at the end of their stay

and that I should attend it. I did not say I would not go, thinking

their proposed bhajana might not come off at all. But one

night, suddenly, a party of thirty or forty people with torches

in their hands came up to us, after we had gone to sleep, and

woke us up. I asked, ‘What is the matter?’ Then they revealed

that the bhajana had been arranged, that everything was ready

and that I should go with them. I could not say ‘No’ when so

321

many of them came like that, and so I went. They had made

elaborate arrangements. So many lights, so many eatables, so

many garlands and musicians of repute sent for from various

places. They had arranged a seat for me and another platform

for those who were to do bhajana. They garlanded me. All

the people in the town were there. All the benches and chairs

also were there. Several of the people assembled there were

also drunk and so they were all in high spirits. I remained

with them for some time and then took leave and came away.

Some of them again came back with me with their torches

and left me at Pachaiamman Koil and returned.”

T.S.R. then asked, “It seems Bhagavan once had a dream

and saw so many siddhas assembled before him, that they

looked all familiar to him and that he sat there on a dais with

chinmudra.” Bhagavan replied, “Is that the only thing? I have

seen several such visions. What am I to say?” He continued,

“Once I came across a sunai (spring in a cave); I went towards

it. As I approached, it was getting wider, and there were trees

on either side. It became broader and broader. There was good

light and the passage led to a big tank. In the middle of the tank

was a temple.” I asked, “This was not a dream?” Bhagavan

said, “Whether it was a dream or jagrat (waking), call it what

you like.” (Somasundaram Pillai says the words Bhagavan used

were L]úYô, Lôh£úVô). Bhagavan also recounted that after

he came here, within the last six years or so, he saw huge streets,

lined with imposing houses on either side leading to the

Asramam; that Chadwick and others were following him in

that dream, and Bhagavan asked Chadwick, “Can anyone call

all this a dream?” and that Chadwick replied, “Which fool will

call all this a dream?” At that stage, he woke up. When Bhagavan

distinctly calls this a dream and the previous experience he

leaves to others to call, dream or waking, I am led to believe

that the other vision of the tank and temple was in the waking

or some other stage, which was not dream.

322

Mr. T.V. Krishnaswami Aiyer asked, “Were Bhagavan’s

brother and others aware of Bhagavan’s absorption in the Self

and indifference to external things?” Bhagavan said, “Yes. They

could not but be aware. For though I tried my best to appear as if

I was attending to external affairs, I could not succeed fully in

the attempt. I would sit down to read like others, open a book,

pretend to read it and after some time turn the page. Similarly,

after some time I would take up another book. But all knew that

my attitude had changed. They used to make fun of me for this

abstraction of mine. I never took offence, as I was totally

indifferent to their taunts. This encouraged them to go on with

their mockery. If I was so minded, I could have silenced them all

with one blow. But I did not care at all. After the ‘death’ experience

I was living in a different world. How could I turn my attention

to books? Before that, I would at least attend to what the other

boys repeated and repeat the same myself. But afterwards, I could

not do even that. At school, my mind would not dwell on study

at all. I would be imagining and expecting God would suddenly

drop down from Heaven before me.”

Someone asked Bhagavan whether he deliberately went

in for a study of Periapuranam. Thereupon Bhagavan said, “No.

No. It was a mere accident. A relation of mine, my uncle, was

given the book by a swami who was living near our house and

was advised to read it. Thus the book happened to be in our

house and, coming across it, I looked into it first out of curiosity

and then, becoming interested, read the whole book. It made a

great impression on me. Before that, the sixty-three images of

the Nayanars in the temple were mere images and no more.

But afterwards, they gained new significance for me. I used to

go and weep before those images and before Nataraja that God

should give me the same grace He gave to those saints. But this

was after the ‘death’ experience. Before that, the bhakti for the

sixty-three saints lay dormant, as it were.” Mr. Somasundaram

Pillai asked Bhagavan, “With what bhava did Bhagavan cry

323

before those images? Did Bhagavan pray he should have no

further birth, or what?” Bhagavan replied, “What bhava? I only

wanted the same grace as was shown to those saints. I prayed I

should have the same bhakti that they had. I knew nothing of

freedom from births or bondage.”

8-10-46

This afternoon, a visitor asked Bhagavan, “No doubt the

method taught by Bhagavan is direct. But it is so difficult. We

do not know how to begin it. If we go on asking, ‘Who am I?’

‘Who am I?’ like a japa, with ‘Who am I?’ for mantra, it

becomes dull. In other methods, there is something

preliminary and positive with which one can begin and then

go step by step. But in Bhagavan’s method, there is no such

thing, and to seek the Self at once, though direct, is difficult.”

Bhagavan: You yourself concede, it is the direct method.

It is the direct and easy method. When going after other things,

alien to us, is so easy, how can it be difficult for one to go to

one’s own Self? You talk of ‘Where to begin’. There is no

beginning and no end. You are yourself the beginning and the

end. If you are here and the Self somewhere else, and you have

to reach that Self, you may be told how to start, how to travel

and then how to reach. Suppose you who are now in Ramana

Asramam ask, ‘I want to go to Ramana Asramam. How shall I

start and how to reach it?’, what is one to say? A man’s search

for the Self is like that. He is always the Self and nothing else.

You say ‘Who am I?’ becomes a japa. It is not meant that you

should go on asking ‘Who am I?’ In that case, thought will not

so easily die. All japas are intended, by the use of one thought,

the mantra, to exclude all other thoughts. This, japa eventually

does for a man. All other thoughts, except the thought of the

mantra, gradually die and then even that one thought dies. Our

Self is of the nature of japa. Japa is always going on there. If

we give up all thoughts, we shall find japa is always there

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without any effort on our part. In the direct method, as you call

it, by saying ask yourself ‘Who am I?’ you are told to concentrate

within yourself where the I-thought (the root of all other

thoughts) arises. As the Self is not outside but inside you, you

are asked to dive within, instead of going without, and what

can be more easy than going to yourself? But the fact remains

that to some this method will seem difficult and will not appeal.

That is why so many different methods have been taught. Each

of them will appeal to some as the best and easiest. That is

according to their pakva or fitness. But to some, nothing except

the vichara marga will appeal. They will ask, ‘You want me to

know or to see this or that. But who is the knower, the seer?’

Whatever other method may be chosen, there will be always a

doer. That cannot be escaped. Who is that doer must be found

out. Till that, the sadhana cannot be ended. So eventually, all

must come to find out ‘Who am I?’. You complain that there is

nothing preliminary or positive to start with. You have the ‘I’ to

start with. You know you exist always, whereas the body does

not exist always, e.g., in sleep. Sleep reveals that you exist even

without a body. We identify the ‘I’ with a body, we regard the

Self as having a body, and as having limits, and hence all our

trouble. All that we have to do is to give up identifying our Self

with the body, with forms and limits, and then we shall know

ourselves as the Self that we always are.

The visitor further asked, “May I believe that there is

nothing more to be known now, so far as the technique of

sadhana is concerned, than that which has been written in

your books from time to time? This question arises from the

fact that, in all other systems of sadhana, the sadguru unfolds

some secret technique of meditation to his disciple at the time

of initiation or diksha, as it is called.”

Bhagavan: There is nothing more to be known than what

you find in books. No secret technique. It is all an open secret,

in this system.

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Visitor: If, even after God-realisation, one has to pay

attention to his bodily needs such as hunger, sleep, rest, heat

and cold, of what use is Self-realisation? This state is

something, which cannot be called completeness.

Bhagavan: What will be the state after Self-realisation?

Why should you bother about it now? Attain Self-realisation,

and then see for yourself. But why go to the state of Selfrealisation?

Even now, are you without Self? And are all these

things, eating, sleeping, etc., without or apart from the Self?

9-10-46

This morning, Nagamma read out her Telugu account of

the Jubilee celebrations which appeared in the journal

Navodaya. Last evening a European lady and gentleman arrived

here, with an introduction to Bhagavan from Mr. D.S. Sastri.

About 2-30 p.m. today, the lady came and sat in the hall along

with other ladies and had her legs stretched out in front of her

and opposite Bhagavan. T.S.R. went to her and quietly told her

that it was not quite good form here to sit like that before

Bhagavan; and she folded her legs. Bhagavan was greatly

annoyed at this and rebuked T.S.R. saying, “Why this mischief

(úNxûP)? It is difficult for them to squat at all on the floor

like us. Why should you make it more difficult by imposing

further restrictions?” After saying this, Bhagavan added, “Now,

my conscience pricks me that I am having my legs stretched

out in front of all.” So saying, he drew in his legs, folded them

and kept on like that till 4-45, when he rose as usual.

10-10-46

This morning, after his usual stroll, Bhagavan arrived in

the hall about 7-35 and, sitting on the couch, stretched out his

legs. But immediately, he drew them back and folded them

saying, “I am forgetting,” recounted yesterday’s incident, and

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ended, “My conscience pricks me. I cannot keep my legs

stretched out in front of all.” Still he kept his legs folded. In the

afternoon too, he had not forgotten this and was trying to keep

to this new resolve of his. But before the evening he relaxed a

bit, as all of us entreated him that it should be given up.

This afternoon, Mr. Subba Rao said that some incidents in

Bhagavan’s life had not at all been recorded in any book so far;

for instance, he said, nobody knew that Bhagavan was for some

time nude, but he found out by reading Bhagavan’s horoscope

that he must have been nude for some time. It was then discovered

in the Telugu biography the above fact about Bhagavan was

mentioned. This led Bhagavan to say, “It is true I was nude for

some time in the early days, when I was under the illuppai tree in

the Temple compound. It was not because I had a vairagya that

I should have no clothing of any sort. The cod-piece I was wearing

used to bring on sores where it touched the skin. When the sore

became bad, I threw away the cod-piece. That is all. There used

to be an old Gurukkal who for the first time arranged for some

regular food for me either by supplying some from his house or

by sending the abhisheka milk from the temple to me. After I

had been nude for about a month, this old Gurukkal told me one

day, ‘Boy, the Kartigai Deepam is approaching. People from all

the 24 districts will be flocking here. Police from all the districts

will also be here. They will arrest you and put you into jail if you

are nude like this. So you must have a cod-piece.’ So saying, he

got a new piece of cloth, made four people lift me up and tied a

cod-piece round me.”

Bhagavan also related today that on the morning of the day

after his arrival he had his first meal at Tiruvannamalai.

Apparently, he ate nothing at all on the first day. He said, “The

next day I was walking up and down in the sixteen-pillared

mantapam in front of the Temple. Then a Mauni Swami who

used to be living in the old days in the Kambathu Ilaiyanar Temple

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came there from the Temple. Another Palni Swami, a well-built

man with long matted hair who used to do a lot of service, by

clearing and cleaning the Temple precincts with the help of a

band of sannyasis, also came to the sixteen-pillared mantapam

from the town. Then the Mauni looking at me, a stranger here,

being in a hungry and exhausted condition, made signs to the

above Palaniswami that I should be given some food. Thereupon

the above Palaniswami went and brought some cold rice in a tin

vessel which was all black, with a little salt strewn on top of the

rice. That was the first bhiksha which Arunachaleswara gave me!”

11-10-46

This afternoon, I made Nagamma read out to us all in the

hall her account of what Bhagavan had said in reply to Prof.

D.S. Sarma’s questions on 4-10-46. Mr. Sarma had also sent an

account himself of his talk with Bhagavan. We had that also

read out. On comparison, I found that what I had already

recorded in these pages needed few alterations. Nagamma has

recorded all that took place then, including questions which

others besides Mr. Sarma put and the answers Bhagavan gave

them. In this connection, Bhagavan recollected that he had in

answering Sarma quoted “abhyasakale sahajam sthitim

prahurupasanam” (Ramana Gita). (What is sahaja state is

known as upasana during practice). Bhagavan again repeated

much of what he told Prof. Sarma and said, “What is obvious,

self-evident and most immediate to us, the Self, we say we are

not able to see. On the other hand, we say that what we see

with these eyes alone is pratyaksha (direct perception). There

must first be the seer before anything could be seen. You are

yourself the eye that sees. Yet, you say you don’t know the eye

that sees, but know only the things seen. But for the Self, the

Infinite Eye (@kRªXôdLi), referred to in the stanza in

Ulladu Narpadu (Reality in Forty Verses), what can be seen?

You want sakshatkaram. You are now doing karam of all these

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things, i.e., real-ising these things, regarding as real all these

things, making real what is not real. If this karam is given up

out of your present sakshatkaram of the unreal, then what will

remain is that which is real or sakshat.”

This evening, the Polish lady, Uma Devi, arrived with a

party of 25 Polish people, mostly girls, from the Kolhapur

State, where there is a refugee camp of about 5,000 Poles.

12-10-46

This afternoon the Polish party entertained Bhagavan

with their folk-songs and folk dances.

14-10-46

This morning I told Bhagavan, “Last night, as desired by

Uma Devi, I took some of the Polish party round the Hill and

on the way explained to them the tradition about the Hill and

the various gods of our religion. They said ‘How many gods?

How can there be so many gods?’ Though I explained to them

that the same God is worshipped in various aspects, etc., they

said they could not understand it all.” Thereupon, Bhagavan

suggested that they should peruse the book All is One which

had been translated into English and asked me to find out if

typed copies of the English translation were available for being

given to them. I brought three copies from the Mauni. Bhagavan

gave one to Uma Devi, one to the girls of the party and had the

third in his hands. Meanwhile Mr. T.K.S. came there and asked

for the third copy and Bhagavan gave it to him. Uma Devi said

that she had finished her Polish translation of the Gita and that

only her introduction and Sir Radhakrishnan’s foreword had to

be written before the book could be sent to the press.

15-10-46

This morning the Polish party left. This evening Dr. B.K.

Roy who has been staying in Ramana Nagar for about a month

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or more and visiting the Asramam, told Bhagavan that, as

desired, he had gone through Zimmer’s book, and found that

the translation the Asramam had already of a portion of the

book was quite good and that he could not improve it, and

that the rest of the book contained nothing original of Zimmer

but was only a translation of Bhagavan’s works. (This Dr.

Roy seems to be a Bengali writer, well-read in English and

other languages. He is a Doctor of Philosophy who has stayed

long in Germany, Switzerland and other places).

16-10-46

This night, the above Dr. Roy took leave of Bhagavan,

saying he was leaving the following morning. Mrs.

Taleyarkhan also told Bhagavan that one Miss Boman, a Swiss

lady who has been here for the last three days, would be leaving

tomorrow, and Miss B. made her namaskarams and left. (This

Miss B., it seems, has been in India for about eight years, at

the head of the Baroda palace staff of servants. It seems she

does not believe in God, but believes in social service. She

has come here having heard of Bhagavan from Mrs. T. when

the Maharani of Baroda was staying at Ooty last summer and

Miss B. was in the Rani’s party. Before coming here she wrote

to Mrs. T. “I am coming to see your God and hope I can make

him mine too”, (or words to that effect).

This night, another Dr. Roy, a blind gentleman, arrived

here from Sri Aurobindo Ashram, where it seems Dilip Kumar

Roy advised him to come here. It seems he went blind in his

seventh year, but has managed, in spite of it, to educate himself

so well that till recently he was a lecturer in Calcutta University

and is now a lecturer in the Tata Sociological Institute at

Bombay. He has married an American wife and, from the picture

he has been kind enough to show me and some others here, she

is a beautiful woman. He is a very remarkable person. He has

travelled all alone from Bombay now. But this is nothing. He

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has travelled to America, Japan and other places all alone. When

we complimented him on all he has been able to achieve, he

says it is nothing compared to what Helen Keller, who lost all

her senses at 18 months, has been able to achieve for herself.

This gentleman had a private talk with Bhagavan after

8 p.m. today, when he narrated his eye-trouble and prayed

for Bhagavan’s mercy.

17-10-46

This morning Dr. Roy showed before Bhagavan how he

writes, reads, reads his watch, etc. I have learnt he is a M.A.,

B.L., of Calcutta University and afterwards became a Ph.D. of

an American University. In the afternoon, when I entered the

hall about 3 p.m., Dr. Roy was asking Bhagavan, “In the case

of persons who are not capable of long meditation, will it not

be enough if they engage themselves in doing good to others?”

Bhagavan replied, “Yes, it will do. The idea of good will be at

their heart. That is enough. Good, God, Love, are all the same

thing. If the person keeps continuously thinking of anyone of

these, it will be enough. All meditation is for the purpose of

keeping out all other thoughts.” After some pause, Bhagavan

said, “When one realises the Truth and knows that there is

neither the seer nor the seen, but only the Self that transcends

both, that the Self alone is the screen or the substratum on which

the shadow both of the ego and all that it sees, come and go, the

feeling that one has not got eyesight, and that therefore one

misses the sight of various things, will vanish. The realised

being, though he has normal eyesight, does not see all these

things.” (He sees only the Self and nothing but the Self).

After further discussion with Dr. Roy, Bhagavan added,

“There is nothing wrong in seeing anything, this body or the

world. The mistake lies in thinking you are the body. There is

no harm in thinking the body is in you. The body, world, all

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must be in the Self; or rather nothing can exist apart from the

Self, as no pictures can be seen without the screen on which

the shadows can be cast.” In answer to a question as to what

is the best way to the goal, Bhagavan said, “There is no goal

to be reached. There is nothing to be attained. You are the

Self. You exist always. Nothing more can be predicated of the

Self than that it exists. Seeing God or the Self is only being

the Self or yourself. Seeing is being. You, being the Self, want

to know how to attain the Self. It is something like a man

being at Ramanasramam asking how many ways are there to

reach Ramanasramam and which is the best way for him. All

that is required of you is to give up the thought that you are

this body and to give up all thoughts of the external things or

the not-Self. As often as the mind goes out towards outward

objects, prevent it and fix it in the Self or ‘I’. That is all the

effort required on your part. The different methods prescribed

by different thinkers are all agreed on this. The Advaita,

Dvaita, Visishtadvaita schools and other schools all agree that

the mind must give up thinking of external things and must

think of the Self, or God as they may call it. That is called

meditation. But meditation being our nature, you will find

when you realise the Self that what was once the means is

now the goal, that while once you had to make an effort, now

you cannot get away from the Self even if you want.”

18-10-46

This afternoon a visitor from Shimoga asked Bhagavan,

“How to still the tossing mind?” Bhagavan replied, “Who asks

this question? Is it the mind or you?” The visitor said, “The mind.”

Bhagavan: If you see what this mind is, it will be stilled.

Visitor: How to see what the mind is?

Bhagavan: What is your idea of the mind?

Visitor: My idea is, it is thought.

(Continued  ...)





(My humble salutations to the lotus feet of Bhagavan Sree Ramana Maharshi
and also gratitude to great philosophers and others     for the collection)