Day by Day with Bhagavan - Part 9



















Day by Day with Bhagavan





13-8-46
In the afternoon Mr. T.K. Doraiswami Iyer told Bhagavan
of Prof. Swaminathan and others in Madras suggesting that
on the Jubilee Day we might have here some music
performance and speeches in different languages from eminent
persons. Bhagavan did not seem to be much in favour of it.
He said, “What is this, sending for such people from such
long distance? After all, each of them can speak only a few
minutes as there are to be so many. And what expense!” Then
I told Bhagavan, “This is all for our benefit. These people
who will be coming here will be coming not simply to lecture.
They will be coming primarily for Bhagavan’s darshan and
we are going to ask them to speak too. That is all.”
14-8-46
This morning Mrs. Taleyarkhan told Bhagavan, “Bhagavan,
I have got a letter from Shanta (the Maharani of Baroda).
Bhagavan has performed a miracle and she is writing about it. It
seems she went out in a car and on the way the car broke down
and the driver could do nothing about it. So, it seems, he took the
Rani’s permission and went to phone for another car. Meanwhile,
it seems a striking-looking and mild sadhu suddenly appeared
on the scene and touched the car and said, ‘You can go on now.’
The driver returned and when he started the engine, the car moved
on without any trouble. The Rani thinks it was all Bhagavan’s
grace. She is writing, expressing regret for her inability to be
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present at the Jubilee.” So saying Mrs. T. showed the letter and
Bhagavan perused it. He came across “Roman Emperor” in the
letter and asked, “Who is the Roman Emperor?” I told Bhagavan
that by that they mean our Sarvadhikari, and Mrs. T. added “Yes.
We call him that”.
Soon afterwards, as directed by Bhagavan, I read out a
long letter from a devotee of Calcutta who was here two or
three years ago for five or six days, it seems. In that letter he
relates how, after he thought that Bhagavan was not showing
him any grace, suddenly on the fifth day of his stay, he got, by
no effort of his own, experience of a state in which consciousness
of body, world and all, totally left him and he was pure
consciousness and nothing else.
Afternoon
The Sarvadhikari, Mr. T.K.D., and Ranganatha Iyer have
all fixed up a programme for the speeches and the music
performance on 1-9-46, and they sent me to Bhagavan with it for
getting his approval for the same. He declined to give any opinion
and said, “Let them fix it up as they like. Don’t ask me anything
about it.” When I pleaded for his approval, he remarked, “Why
should they consult me about this now? Did they consult me
before deciding to have these speeches and music, that they should
consult me now about the time?” Thereupon I said, “True, at
Madras, on the suggestion of Mr. Swaminathan and others, they
had decided on having all these things. But even now, if Bhagavan
does not like all this, we can stop it, what is there?” Thereupon
he relented and said, “You may tell them I have no objection.
But I must be left off at my usual hours.” I at once replied, “Of
course, that will be done” and we so ordered the programme that
Bhagavan could rise at 4-45 p.m. as usual, after all the speeches,
and could come back about 5-00 p.m. to start the music by Musiri.
In the evening, Muruganar brought a few verses
composed by him at our request for the Golden Jubilee.
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Bhagavan at once went through them and made one or two
corrections and kept them aside saying, “Tomorrow we shall
do the rest, deciding what heading we shall give them.”
17-8-46
This morning, a number of Gujerati visitors arrived here,
evidently returning from Pondicherry, after darshan there on
the 15th. One of them asked Bhagavan, “What is meant by
Self-realisation? Materialists say there is no such thing as God
or Self.” Bhagavan said, “Never mind what the materialists or
others say; and don’t bother about Self or God. Do you exist or
not? What is your idea of yourself? What do you mean by ‘I’?”
The visitor said he did not understand by ‘I’ his body, but
something within his body. Thereupon, Bhagavan continued,
“You concede ‘I’ is not the body but something within it. See
then from whence the ‘I’ arises within the body. See whether it
arises and disappears, or is always present. You will admit there
is an ‘I’ which emerges as soon as you wake up, sees the body,
the world and all else, and ceases to exist when you sleep; and
that there is another ‘I’ which exists apart from the body,
independently of it, and which alone is with you when the body
and the world do not exist for you, as for instance in sleep.
Then ask yourself if you are not the same ‘I’ during sleep and
during the other states. Are there two ‘I’s? You are the same
one person always. Now, which can be real, the ‘I’ which comes
and goes, or the ‘I’ which always abides? Then you will know
that you are the Self. This is called Self-realisation. Selfrealisation
is not however a state which is foreign to you, which
is far from you, and which has to be reached by you. You are
always in that state. You forget it, and identify yourself with
the mind and its creation. To cease to identify yourself with the
mind is all that is required. We have so long identified ourselves
with the not-Self that we find it difficult to regard ourselves as
the Self. Giving up this identification with the not-Self is all
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that is meant by Self-realisation. How to realise, i.e., make real,
the Self? We have realised, i.e., regarded as real, what is unreal,
the not-Self. To give up such false realisation is Self-realisation.”
In the evening, after parayana, a visitor asked Bhagavan,
“How to control the wandering mind?” He prefaced the question
with the remark, “I want to ask Bhagavan a question which is
troubling me.” Bhagavan replied, after laughing, “This is nothing
peculiar to you. This is the question which is always asked by
everybody and which is dealt with in all the books like the Gita.
What way is there, except to draw in the mind as often as it
strays or goes outward, and to fix it in the Self, as the Gita advises?
Of course, it won’t be easy to do it. It will come only with practice
or sadhana.” The visitor said, “The mind goes after only what it
desires and won’t get fixed on the object we set before it.”
Bhagavan said, “Everybody will go after only what gives
happiness to him. Thinking that happiness comes from some
object or other, you go after it. See from whence all happiness,
including the happiness you regard as coming from sense objects,
really comes. You will understand all happiness comes only from
the Self, and then you will always abide in the Self.”
21-8-46 Afternoon
A visitor from Bengal asked Bhagavan, “Shankara says
we are all free, not bound, and that we shall all go back to
God from whom we have come as sparks from fire. Then,
why should we not commit all sorts of sins?”
Bhagavan: It is true we are not bound, i.e., the real
Self has no bondage. It is true you will eventually go back
to your source. But meanwhile, if you commit sins, as you
call them, you have to face the consequences of such sins.
You cannot escape their consequences. If a man beats you,
then, can you say, ‘I am free, I am not bound by these
beatings and I don’t feel any pain. Let him beat on?’ If you
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can feel like that, you can go on doing what you like. What
is the use of merely saying with your lips ‘I am free?’
The visitor also asked, “The books mention several
methods for Self-realisation. Which is the easiest and best?”
Bhagavan: Several methods are mentioned to suit several
minds. They are all good. You can choose whatever method
appeals to you best.
Later, Lakshmi (Sambasiva Rao’s sister) read before
Bhagavan a few Telugu songs composed by her for Bhagavan’s
Golden Jubilee. Bhagavan came here fifty years ago on Navami
tithi following Gokulashtami and, as this is Navami, the Golden
Jubilee of his arrival according to tithi will be today, and hence
she thought her songs could most appropriately be sung today.
She began, however, reading in such a low key that after a few
minutes Bhagavan asked her, “Are you able to hear it yourself?”
Somebody suggested Nagamma might read the verses instead
and so N. read them out aloud.
This morning, Mr. Somasundaram Pillai brought his
wife’s verses and mine, which he got printed at Conjeevaram
and showed to Bhagavan a copy of each set. Bhagavan perused
them and said, “The paper is thick and good.” Then I explained,
“These are the copies to be laid at Bhagavan’s feet. The other
copies are printed on slightly inferior paper.”
On 23-8-46 morning I left for Madras to attend the
marriage of my daughter’s son on the 28th inst. and returned
on the 30th evening.
30-8-46
On the 30th evening, when I arrived, the Asramam was
already crowded with devotees who had come from various
parts to attend the Jubilee on 1st September. The new (thatched)
shed, built contiguous with Bhagavan’s hall on its northern side,
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had been already completed with the floor also fully cemented,
and the old ugly parapet wall of the well had been removed and
in its place a fine looking parapet wall erected. The steps leading
from the eastern verandah of Bhagavan’s hall to the quadrangle
and the new shed on the north have been considerably improved
and beautified. Further, a temporary shed, contiguous with the
new northern shed, has also been put up to provide sitting
accommodation to the crowds that are expected on the 1st. I
found Bhagavan seated at the western end of the new shed, on
a stone platform. Mr. C. Madhavaraya Mudaliar (my brotherin-
law) and myself prostrated ourselves. Bhagavan asked, “You
have just come? How did you come; and who else?” I replied,
“I came by train up to Katpadi, arriving there about 12 noon.
From thence I went to Vellore and took the bus and have arrived
here just now. There was no difficulty at all about travelling. I
and my brother-in-law alone have come now. But Kotiswaran
and his wife will come tomorrow evening.”
31-8-46 Morning
An address in Malayalam, composed by Narain Pisharoti
(our compounder) was read out by him. Then an address in
Tamil composed by Uma (i.e., Mrs. Somasundaram Pillai)
was read out by her husband.
Most of the morning, the blind Brahmin girl, Janaki
Ammal of Conjeevaram, entertained Bhagavan with her music
on the Veena.
Afternoon
Mr. Siva Mohan Lal of Hyderabad read out an address
in Hindi. We asked him to translate the same into English for
the benefit of those who did not know Hindi. But as he could
not easily translate it extempore, we asked him to write out
the translation and to read the same before Bhagavan later.
Then Ramachandra Rao began to read out an address in
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Canarese. But soon he began delivering a speech with the
writing in his hand only as notes for his speech. Bhagavan
also remarked, “He is not simply reading an address. With
the address in his hand, he is firing away as he pleases
(ûL«úX Notes YfÑiÓ @Yo TôhÓdÏ @¥d¡øo).”
He has also composed two songs in Canarese and he finished
by saying that those songs would be sung by Chandramma.
Somasundaram Pillai next read out a message from one
Angayarkkanni in Tamil. Next Chandramma read out the
Canarese songs of R. Rao.
Finally Balaram read out the Telugu message sent by
G.V.Subbaramayya, which was short and sweet. It said in
effect, “May the Golden Jubilee of the day which joined
Ramana to Arunachala — (that Ramana who is always
shedding compassion and grace) — be a grand success!”
1-9-46
This is the Golden Jubilee of Bhagavan’s arrival at
Tiruvannamalai. I went to the hall about 5-30 a.m. hoping to
see Bhagavan there, to fall at his feet, and to offer some fruits
and two bath towels. But I found that today the parayana was
started about 4 a.m. and closed at 5 a.m. and that Bhagavan
went to the bathroom as early as 5 a.m.
After Bhagavan had his breakfast and returned from his
stroll, a number of married women (sumangalis) headed by
Uma came from the Temple in a procession, doing bhajan and
carrying a milk-pot, and Uma and her daughter sang a Tamil
song and offered milk to Bhagavan. He took a spoon of the
milk and the rest was distributed among the devotees. Then I
read out Colombo Ramachandra’s Ramanashtakam, in Tamil,
and also my five stanzas composed for the Jubilee. Then Uma
read out her Muthumalai composed for the occasion. Printed
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copies of all the three compositions were then distributed to
the devotees. Printed copies of tributes by Turiyananda in Tamil,
K.Vaidyanatha Aiyar of Vellore in English verse, T.K. Sundaresa
Iyer in Tamil verse, and K.R. Seshagiri Aiyar in English were
also read out and distributed. One Mr. Bhatt also read out his
Canarese songs. Then a gentleman introduced by Dr. T.N.K.
gave a performance on gottu vadyam. Mr. Chellam Iyer, of
Kalaimagal office, read out Muruganar’s poems composed for
the occasion, including one which he composed at the moment.
After lunch Bhagavan would not allow himself even his
usual rest, but insisted on being available for devotees who had
come from far and near and so, soon after his return from the
after-lunch stroll, various addresses in different languages were
read out. One of them was from the Hindi Prachar Sabha.
Another was Dr. Siva Rao’s tribute in English which was read
out and also translated into Tamil by Mr. T.K.D. Iyer. Mr. Siva
Mohan Lal also read out the English translation of the Hindi
address he read to Bhagavan yesterday. Dr. Siva Rao’s address
in effect said, “I have been trying my humble best to cure
Bhagavan of various bodily ailments of his. But all my efforts
have proved vain, except to give some temporary relief. I believe
this is due to my ego having presumed that it can cure Bhagavan.
All people today are offering various things to Bhagavan —
fruits, flowers, clothes, books, etc. I have decided to offer my
ego. I place it at Bhagavan’s feet and beg him to accept it.”
About 2-30 p.m., the programme already planned and
published for the Jubilee was begun with Mr. Justice
Kuppuswamy Aiyer as President. He made a few introductory
remarks in English. Then Mr. T.K.D. read out Sir S.
Radhakrishnan’s article, intended for inclusion in the Souvenir
Volume, but which, though posted in Calcutta on 7th August,
was received here only on the 30th. Then the following spoke:
Swami Rajeswarananda and Prof. T.M.P. Mahadevan of the
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Madras University, in English, Justice Chandrasekara Iyer in
Telugu, Chellam Iyer of Kalaimagal office and Omandur
Ramaswami Reddiar in Tamil, Mr. S.R. Venkatarama Sastri (of
Vivekananda College) in Sanskrit, and Mr. Airavatam Aiyer, in
Malayalam. After the speeches, Viswanatha Sastri recited a few
Sanskrit songs, and Kunjuswami a few Tamil songs of Bhagavan
and of one Venkatarama Iyer (author of Ramana Stuti
Panchakam). Bhagavan then rose at 4-45 p.m. as usual. After he
returned about 5 p.m., Mr. Annamalai Pillai, the local Congress
leader, made a speech in Tamil, on behalf of the citizens of
Tiruvannamalai, expressing joy and gratitude on Bhagavan’s
completing fifty years’ stay here. Then Musiri Subramania Iyer
gave a very moving and devotional musical performance till about
6-45. For the speeches and music excellent loudspeaker
arrangements had been made by the local Municipal Chairman
and it was a great convenience for the crowds who had gathered.
Finally Veda parayana brought the day’s function to a close.
2-9-46
Early in the morning, old Mr. Ranganatha Iyer told
Bhagavan, “We have had a very good shower of rain last night.
It is fortunate that it did not interfere with our celebrations
yesterday, but came on only in the night after everything was
over.” Bhagavan said, “I remember the same thing happened
on the night of 1-9-1896, when I arrived here. It seems they
had no rains for a long time then. But on that night there was a
heavy downpour. I was then staying at the mantapam in front
of the Big Temple. Only that morning for the first time I had
discarded all my clothes, except a cod-piece and, on account of
the rains beating in, and the cold winds blowing about, I found
the cold unbearable, and so I ran from there and took shelter on
the pial of a house nearby. About midnight some inmates of the
house came out opening the street door and I ran into the Big
Temple. For some days after that too, it rained!”
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After Bhagavan’s morning stroll, various articles about
Bhagavan were read out in the hall, two from the Sunday
Times, one from Free India and one from Bombay Samachar
(in Gujerati). In the afternoon Nagamma read out her Telugu
poem on Ramana Swarna Utsava Vaibhavam. Only today
Bhagavan had time to look at the Souvenir Volume, which
was presented to him on the Jubilee Day. He had been given a
volume bound in silk and with gold-washed front and back
pages. The deluxe edition had a gold-washed front page. The
library in the hall had been given one ordinary copy and one
deluxe edition. The Sarvadhikari came and saw these, as also
a specially bound volume of V. Sastri’s Sanskrit Life of
Bhagavan and instructed T.S.R. that the specially bound
volumes of the Souvenir and V. Sastri’s book should not be
given to anybody. After Sarvadhikari left, Bhagavan asked
T.S.R., laughing, “He has told you these volumes should not
be given to anybody. May I read them?” T.S.R. said, “He only
meant I should not give these to anybody except Bhagavan.”
In the evening Mr. Desai read out an English translation
of Ganga Ben Patel’s Gujerati article in the Bombay Samachar.
There was a reference in the article to the cow Lakshmi; and
Rani Mazumdar who was listening to the article from the
verandah close to the eastern window of the hall asked me to
put the following question to Bhagavan and get his reply.
Question: It is said that the old lady Keerai Patti was
born as Lakshmi. How can one, who had the unique good
fortune of serving Bhagavan well and lovingly, have to be
born again at all, and even if she had to be born, how could
she be born as a cow? Is it not said in all our books that birth
as a human being is the best birth one can have?
Bhagavan: I never said Keerai Patti had been born as a cow.
I said, “I have already told Rani so. But she says, ‘It has
been said and also written down in so many books and articles
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and Bhagavan has not denied it. So we can take it as the truth’.”
I added, “But she puts the question on the assumption that the
cow is the old woman reborn, whether Bhagavan has said so
or not, and she desires an answer.” Thereupon Bhagavan said,
“It is not true that birth as a man is necessarily the highest,
and that one must attain realisation only from being a man.
Even an animal can attain Self-realisation.”
In the conversation that followed on this, Bhagavan said,
“Even as a calf only some days old, Lakshmi behaved in an
extraordinary way. She would daily come to me and place her
head at my feet. On the day the foundation was laid for the
goshala (cow-shed), she was so jubilant and came and took me
for the function. Again on the day of grahapravesam she came
straight to me at the time appointed and took me. In so many
ways and on so many occasions, she behaved in such a sensible
and extremely intelligent way that one cannot but regard it as
an extraordinary cow. What are we to say about it?”
This night Mr. Framji Dorabji, ably helped by
Mrs. Taleyarkhan, showed Bhagavan the film ‘Nandanar’ in
Tamil in our dining hall.
3-9-46 Afternoon
Nagamma read out Nellore Narasinga Rao’s poem on
Bhagavan for the Jubilee. Bhagavan suggested that the
Souvenir be read out, adding, “I don’t know what it contains.
I have not looked into the articles so far.” Thereupon I read
out a few pages. In the night the film ‘Tukaram’ in Marathi
was shown to Bhagavan.
4-9-46 Morning
About 10 a.m. I continued reading the Souvenir. In the
afternoon again, I read out the Souvenir and then Viswanath
and also Balaram.
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This night another film, ‘Bhartruhari’ in Hindi, was
shown to Bhagavan.
5-9-46
Reading out the Souvenir was continued by me, V. and
B. in the afternoon.
The whole day Bhagavan was trying to find out the true
history of King Bhartruhari and looked into a number of books,
giving various versions of the famous King’s life. The first
account Bhagavan looked into was Banky Bihari’s introduction
to his English translation of Bhartruhari’s poems. Finally
Bhagavan said, “No version agrees with another, and there are
four or five of them. But all agree that the immortality-yielding
object was given by the King to his queen and by the queen to
someone else and that the King renounced all because of his
sudden discovery that his queen was not true to him. In that,
last night’s film also did not err from the original.”
6 to 9-9-46
Reading of the Souvenir was continued and the same
ended on the last date.
11-9-46
It seems today Rangaswami (an attendant) was trying to
coax Bhagavan into eating an orange about noon and, when he
told Bhagavan, “These oranges and other fruits are all brought
in by devotees only so that Bhagavan may use them. So, why
should not Bhagavan use them?” It seems Bhagavan replied,
“Why should you think that I eat only when I eat with this
mouth? I eat through a thousand mouths.” R. told me of this.
Today Mr. T.P. Ramachandra Aiyer arrived from Madras.
Bhagavan said on seeing him, “What, you have gone down very
much. You look a different man.” T.P.R. said, “My foot became
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swollen. The doctors couldn’t diagnose it properly; besides, I
have had a lot of strain (@~fNp).” Bhagavan is criticised by
some as being so impersonal and abstracted that he cannot appeal
to most people. I record this instance to refute such criticism.
That one remark of Bhagavan must have meant so much to T.P.R.
Many others, including myself, have had such proofs of love and
attention from Bhagavan. This reminds me that just a few days
ago, S. Doraiswamy Iyer came here one afternoon with four or
five of his friends, and Bhagavan remarked as soon as S.D. entered
the hall, “Very unexpected”, and thereupon S.D. explained,
“These friends suddenly proposed about 10 a.m. today that we
should come here, have darshan of Bhagavan, visit the temple
and go back, and that is how I came.”
12-9-46
Casually going through T.P.R.’s notebook I came across
an entry there — Mithya=Jagat; Brahma bhavam=Satyam.
As I remembered Bhagavan occasionally saying mithya
means satyam, but did not quite grasp its significance, I asked
Bhagavan about it. He said, “Yes. I say that now and then.
What do you mean by real or satyam? Which do you call
real?” I answered, “According to Vedanta, that which is
permanent and unchanging, that alone is real. That of course
is the definition of Reality.” Then, Bhagavan said, “These
names and forms which constitute the world always change
and perish. Hence they are called mithya. To limit the Self
and regard it as these names and form is mithya. To regard all
as Self is the Reality. The Advaitin says jagat is mithya, but
he also says ‘All this is Brahman’. So it is clear that what he
condemns is regarding the world as such to be real, not
regarding the world as Brahman. He who sees the Self, sees
only the Self in the world also. To the jnani it is immaterial
whether the world appears or not. Whether it appears or not,
his attention is always on the Self. It is like the letters and the
paper on which the letters are printed. You are wholly
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engrossed with the letters and have no attention left for the
paper. But the jnani thinks only of the paper as the real
substratum, whether the letters appear on it or not.”
13-9-46
Today, one Mrs. Barwell (whose husband, it is said, is a
barrister now staying at Almora), accompanied by the principal
of the Women’s Christian College at Madras, visited the
Asramam. The former comes introduced by Miss Merston
and has already written to the Asramam for accommodation.
The Asramam has not been able to find accommodation for
her. But today, Mr. McIver has promised to find
accommodation for her in his compound and so she is planning
to go and come back here with her things in a week’s time.
Her friend also goes back with her and intends to spend the
forthcoming dasara holidays here with some of her students.
This lady (the principal) seems to have already met some wellknown
disciples of Bhagavan, such as Grant Duff.
14-9-46
This morning Mr. Naganariya came and prostrated
himself before Bhagavan, placing a manuscript and some fruits
at his feet. Bhagavan asked him when he came, and he replied,
“I came last night itself.” Then Bhagavan looked into the Ms.,
for a few minutes and returned it. It is Trisulapura Mahatmyam
in Telugu verse.
Afternoon
When I went into the hall, Bhagavan was reading an
article in the Tamil paper Hindusthan by K.R.R. Sastri, who
has, it seems, just returned from a trip to England and America.
In the article, he mentions he visited Ramana Asramam before
he made this foreign tour. Then Bhagavan said, “I believe he
has sent some poem in Tamil or English for the Jubilee.” I
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replied that I had seen the poem and that it was in English.
But I was not sure whether I read the thing in the Souvenir
Volume or elsewhere. Not finding it in its contents, I took up
the file of cuttings, etc., relating to the Jubilee and as I opened
it, it opened, strange to say, exactly at the page where a typed
copy of this poem of K.R.R. was found pasted. I showed the
same to Bhagavan, and he said, “That is the poem I meant.”
Nagamma read out the dedication to Trisulapura
Mahatmyam of Naganariya, saying, “I find this dedication is
a Jubilee tribute to Bhagavan.” At the head of each chapter
too, N. had a stanza in praise of Bhagavan. So we asked her
to read those stanzas also. As the dedication seemed good, I
requested G. Subba Rao to give us a free translation in English
and he said he would write down one.
My brother has written in a letter to me that Krishna and
Nammalvar have said that God will come to us in whatever
form we worship Him; I wrote to my brother in my reply, “A
jnani is the highest manifestation of God on earth, next perhaps
only to an avatar.” In connection with this sentence, I wanted
to have my doubt cleared about the relative position of a jnani
and an avatar. Then Bhagavan was pleased to tell me that,
according to the books, the jnani was higher than the avatar.
But when I corrected my letter accordingly, he said, “Why do
you correct it? Let it go as it is.”
A little later, R. Narayana Iyer came and Bhagavan asked
him, “You have come by the 3 p.m. train, have you?” He said,
“Yes”, and added, “The present timings are convenient for
me. On Saturday, I can arrive here earlier, and on Mondays I
can leave here later than under the old timings.”
Then somebody said, “Kalyanarama Aiyer is also now in
Tirukoilur” and I asked about his exact relationship to the late
Echamma. I was told he was her brother’s son. In this connection,
his sister, Chellammal, brought up by Echamma was mentioned,
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and Mr. Viswanath said, “It was for her that Bhagavan wrote the
three songs in Tamil on sat sang”. Then I said, “I thought it was
for Rajammal that Bhagavan wrote them.” Then Bhagavan
related, “One day I was going out from Skandasramam. In those
days Chellamma, Rajamma and others used to go to me on
Saturdays and Sundays when they had no school. They would
go by themselves to me, whether they had any escort or not. That
day I found Chellammal had some bit of a journal or newspaper
in her hand and was getting by heart a song from Yoga Vasishtam
in praise of the benefits of sat sang:
@\dÏû\ûY ¨û\YôdÏg NmTjRôdÏ
UôTjûRf ÑTUôdÏ UÑTk Ru{f
£\dÏØVok RYoáhP ùUàe LeûLf
ºR¿ Wô¥]odÏf ùNk¾ úYs®
«\dL¬V RYkRô]k ¾ojRm úYiPô
ªPoTkR UßjùRYodÏ ª²úVôWô¡l
©\lùTàmúY ~l×|Vô ØQoÜ Nôu\
ùT¬úVôûW ùVqYûLÙm úTQpúYiÓm
(The imperfect will become perfect, danger good luck, the
inauspicious auspicious, by association with holy men. For those
who have bathed in the Ganges of fellowship with such realized
souls, homa (offering, oblations in fire), yagna, penance, almsgiving,
bathing in sacred rivers, are all unnecessary. Seek,
therefore, by all means the company of the good and wise,
which is a boat to carry one across the ocean of birth and death).
“When I found the girl so keen on the matter I composed
those three songs on sat sang which are a translation of the
Sanskrit songs, with which by that time I had become quite
familiar, because they had been so often recited before me by
various devotees who visited me. At that time, I did not know
that any of those Sanskrit songs had been translated by
anybody in Tamil. But some years afterwards, when Rajammal
delivered a lecture on sat sang she quoted a Tamil stanza which
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was a Tamil translation of one of those three songs.” Then I
said, “I also remember that lecture of hers. It was at
Villupuram. They sent me a copy of that lecture.”
Bhagavan related how Echamma, after she lost her own
daughter, brought up her brother’s daughter, this Chellammal,
and added, “Chellammal used often to go to me as a school
girl. Afterwards too, she always thought of me. In every letter
of hers, she would refer to me both in the beginning and the
end. She died soon after she gave birth to Ramanan, the boy
who is now in Bombay. They brought the boy here, (it was
soon after we came here and we had only a small thatched
room in which the tomb was located and I was also staying).
On seeing the babe, I could not help thinking of its mother
and I wept for her.” (Bhagavan was moved even now after
several years when recounting the event to me).
In the evening, after parayana, Balaram read out an
article in English in the Sunday Leader of Allahabad, on
Bhagavan and his teachings.
15-9-46
This afternoon, Nagamma read out an account in Telugu
of all that took place on the Jubilee Day. I found from what
Bhagavan and T.S.R. said that, in addition to what I have noted
on the first of September, two other addresses were also read,
one from the Arya Vaisya Samajam and another from the firm
of Messrs. Munuswami Chetti & Brothers, and that at about 11
a.m. that day, the priests from the Big Temple came with
Arunachaleswarar’s prasad to Bhagavan. Later, Nagamma also
read out a portion of Naganariya’s Ms. as desired by the author.
17-9-46
This night about 9-15 p.m., T.S.R.’s child Ramana was
bitten by something near the well in their compound. After a
311
few minutes, the child was suffering very much, vomiting
and perspiring profusely. They consulted Dr. Siva Rao living
next door and he gave something which he said was a general
antidote for all poisons. In a few minutes he felt the child’s
pulse and advised them it would be better to take the child to
Bhagavan. They accordingly brought the child and when they
entered the Asramam compound the child was in a state almost
of collapse, the body having become chill and the breath
almost ceasing. They entered the hall, and told Bhagavan, and
he touched the child, passing his hand all over the child’s
body as if soothing the child, and said, “It is nothing. He will
be all right.” It was only after that, the parents had some hope
that the child would survive. When they came out of the hall,
they came across our Ramaswami Pillai, and he showed them
another visitor who had come to the Asramam only this
afternoon, who was an expert in saving people from snakebites,
etc. and pronounced some mantras on the child and
declared the poison had been got rid of by his mantras. The
child recovered gradually, and the parents have told me that it
was saved only through Bhagavan’s grace. Another thing
which may also be mentioned here is that the child himself,
as soon as he felt pain, cried out, “Let us go to Bhagavan. The
pain will go if we go there”, though on some occasions he
would even refuse to be taken to Bhagavan when the parents
proposed to take him there.
This evening at about 6 p.m. Mr. Colombo
Ramachandra’s letter to Bhagavan with seven copies of his
Ashtakam was received and Bhagavan gave one to me and
one to Somasundaram Pillai as desired by R. in his letter.
Bhagavan found the order of the stanzas was not as printed
under Bhagavan’s directions here. Bhagavan said, “He had
stuck to his order”. Thereupon I said, “These leaflets must
have been printed before R. received our leaflet and the letter
accompanying it.”
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18-9-46
This morning, when I left my room about 9-30 a.m., for
the hall, it struck me I might read out the Ashtakam of Colombo
Ramachandra, of which Bhagavan gave me a copy last
evening. As I went and prostrated myself before Bhagavan,
he was telling T.S.R. with the Ashtakam in his hand, “Should
we not have it read out here, as it arrived only last evening?”
and. T.S.R. said, “Here Mr. Mudaliar has also come. We will
ask him to read it out.” Accordingly I read out the same, telling
Bhagavan, “Somehow, I too thought of reading this today here
and have brought the leaflet with me. Here it is.” I had read
out the Ashtakam before Bhagavan even as it was being
composed in parts, and once after all the eight were finished
during Ramachandra’s illness here; and again I had read it
out on Jubilee Day. But it is strange that I should have thought
of doing the same today also and that Bhagavan too should
have thought of it at the same time.
20-9-46
This afternoon, from a book that Anandammal brought,
Bhagavan was able to find out the story of how Goraknath killed
his Master Maschendra’s child, etc., which Bhagavan was trying
to trace on the 5th instant after having seen the film “Bhartruhari”
the previous night. In this story it is said that Chandu Nath wanted
to write to Goraknath, but not being sure how to address him, in
a patronising manner as a superior, or as a junior writing to a
senior, finally sent a blank piece of paper. In this connection,
Bhagavan said, “This reminds me of an incident in my boyhood.
I was quite young and did not know much about letter-writing
and I wrote to my aunt’s son (father’s sister’s son) aneka
asirvadam (i.e., many blessings, in the manner of an elder giving
his blessings). When he came, he ridiculed me for having sent
blessings to him (who was about 10 years older than myself).
But I did not know then who should bless whom. I only knew
313
that whenever my father wrote to him, he used to write ‘My
blessings to Ramu’, and so I thought that was the way a letter
ought to be written. That to some, blessings had to be given and
to others salutations — I did not know then.”
Mr. Daniel Thomas, minister, visited Bhagavan today
about 4 p.m. He stayed in Bhagavan’s presence for about 15
minutes and then left. He was presiding over a function in the
town in connection with the Golden Jubilee of this
Municipality. I was in Tinnevelly for one and a half years in
1910 to 1912, when this gentleman also joined the bar. He
put no questions to Bhagavan. The press representative Mr.
Tilak was here and apparently took a snap of the minister.
21-9-46
This morning, as directed by Bhagavan, a letter received
by me from K. Ramachandra of Colombo and another received
by Uma were read out in the hall. The letters described how
the Jubilee was celebrated in Mr. Ramachandra’s house with
about 250 devotees (of different castes), each one of whom
placed flowers at Bhagavan’s feet and worshipped him, and
how all left with the feeling that Bhagavan was present in
their midst that day. The letter to Uma quoted two stanzas
from Subrahmanya Bhujangam as very aptly describing
Bhagavan and also said that R.’s Ashtakam was really
composed by Bhagavan who inspired the lines. Otherwise R.
cannot explain why, when the children sing the Ashtakam at
prayer time, he goes into ecstasy and forgets himself.
In the afternoon, Nagamma read out her revised account
of the Jubilee celebrations. It is very well written and full of
bhakti rasa. It will soon appear in print. When R.’s letter was
read out and the two stanzas therein from Subrahmanya
Bhujangam were quoted, Bhagavan said that it was Mr. K.V.R.
Iyer (deceased brother of our Ramanatha Iyer) who first
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published from here the above work, though subsequently other
editions and some translations in Tamil also have come out.
One Mr. V.P. Sarathi from Masulipatnam had sent a volume
of typed poems in English entitled Nivedana to Bhagavan. It
seems he offered them at Bhagavan’s feet in celebration, in his
house, on Bhagavan’s Jubilee on 1-9-46. They were received
at the Asramam recently and T.P.R. read the poems out in the
hall. The poems were good and well worth hearing.
22-9-46
Today about 4 p.m. the Minister, Mrs. Rukmini
Lakshmipati and Mr. Sivashanmugam (Speaker of the
Legislative Assembly) visited the Asramam. They were
escorted by local Congress leader Mr. Annamalai Pillai and
the Deputy Collector, Mr. Vaidyanatha Aiyar. They sat in the
hall for some time and then left.
1-10-46
Dilip Kumar Roy of Aurobindo’s Ashram came here last
night, and this morning he sang a few songs before Bhagavan.
Later when Bhagavan was perusing The New Times of today, he
read out to us that at Mount Abu, two serpents fought each other,
that one vanquished the other which became unconscious and at
that stage a boy who came across the scene did some first aid to
the defeated serpent and put a cold bandage over it, that the injured
serpent slowly revived, that seeing all this, the victor serpent was
enraged and bit the boy, that the vanquished snake, which had by
now recovered and revived under the boy’s treatment, ran to the
boy, sucked out the other serpent’s poison and saved the boy.
When Bhagavan read all this out to us, I said, “It looks incredible.”
Mrs. T. to whom T.P.R. recounted the story also remarked, “Is
this a story or what?” Then Dilip asked Bhagavan whether all
this was possible. Bhagavan said, “Why not? Quite possible.”
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Roy even asked, “How could the vanquished snake know and do
all this?” Bhagavan said, “Why? It was watching what the boy
did to it, what the other snake did to the boy and so it ran and
sucked out the poison. Snakes see and observe and can do such
things. Many stories like this have been told of serpents.”
2-10-46
This morning again Dilip sang a few songs before Bhagavan.
4-10-46
In the afternoon Nagamma asked that a copy of her letter
to her brother, describing the first visit to Bhagavan of Princess
Prabhavati with her husband after their marriage might be shown
to Madhavi Amma (K.K. Nambiar’s sister) now here.
Thereupon, Bhagavan asked, “What is that letter? Have I heard
it?” Nagamma said, “No”. I said, “Then, why not read it now?
We are all here (I meant Professors G.V. Subbaramayya, D.S.
Sarma, K. Swaminathan) and we can all hear it.” Thereupon
she read out the letter. Later Bhagavan asked G.V.S. if he had
seen Nagamma’s song and Chinta Dikshitulu’s Nivedana which
were printed about Jubilee time. He said ‘No’ and thereupon
Bhagavan asked T.S.R. to show him the above two pamphlets.
He also asked T.S.R. to show G.V.S. the Telugu rendering of
Bhagavan’s four songs in connection with his mother’s serious
fever, made by Mr. Narasinga Rao of Nellore. G.V.S. saw the
same and said, “They have not so far been translated into
Telugu.” In explaining the first of these Tamil songs, Bhagavan
told us that in the Tamil @~Vôn YÚ©\® @jR{ÙUôt\
U~Vôn etc., we can have either Uôt\ or At\ as we like
when splitting the sandhi. If we take it as Uôt\, it would mean
“To change the countless waves of births and deaths, Arunachala
rises as a mountain in the middle of the waves”. If we take it as
At\, it would mean “To cure or heal the disease of countless
births, the Arunachala Hill has risen as a medicine.”
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In the evening after parayana, Dilip again sang a few songs
from Ganapati Sastri’s Forty Verses on Bhagavan. About seven,
he stopped singing. Mrs. T. told Bhagavan, “He has composed
three songs on Bhagavan’s smile. They are very good,” and
requested D. to sing them. But he excused himself, saying, “They
are in Bengali”. A few minutes later, I went and told him, “We
generally have Tamil parayana between seven and seven-thirty.
Today, we have cancelled that item and made that interval
available for your songs. So, unless you find it inconvenient for
you to sing any more, please sing one or two songs more.” D.
said “Is that so?” and then gave us two more songs, one on Devi
and one on Siva. He told Bhagavan he was leaving the next
morning and that he had great peace during his stay here.
This evening, D.S. Sarma, asked Bhagavan: “In Western
mysticism three definite stages are often spoken of — viz.,
Purgation, illumination and union. Was there any such stage as
purgation — corresponding to what we call sadhana — in
Bhagavan’s life?” Bhagavan replied, “I have never done any
sadhana. I did not even know what sadhana was. Only long
afterwards I came to know what sadhana was and how many
different kinds of it there were. It is only if there was any object
or anything different from me that I could think of it. Only if
there was a goal to attain, I should have made sadhana to attain
that goal. There was nothing which I wanted to obtain. I am now
sitting with my eyes open. I was then sitting with my eyes closed.
That was all the difference. I was not doing any sadhana even
then. As I sat with my eyes closed, people said I was in samadhi.
As I was not talking, they said I was in mauna. The fact is, I did
nothing. Some Higher Power took hold of me and I was entirely
in Its hand.” Bhagavan further added, “The books no doubt speak
of sravana, manana, nididhyasana, samadhi and sakshatkara.
We are always sakshat and what is there for one to attain karam
of that? We call this world sakshat or pratyaksha. What is
changing, what appears and disappears, what is not sakshat, we
317
regard as sakshat. We are always and nothing can be more directly
present pratyaksha than we, and about that we say we have to
attain sakshatkaram after all these sadhanas. Nothing can be
more strange than this. The Self is not attained by doing anything,
but remaining still and being as we are.”
5-10-46
This morning a person came and prostrated himself before
Bhagavan at the dining hall. He almost touched him, and as I
was wondering who it could be, the person announced himself
to Bhagavan as Vasu and Bhagavan said, “Is it you? If you had
not said it, I should never have recognised you. You have gone
down so much.” The visitor replied, “I find I must say the same
about Bhagavan.” To this Bhagavan said, “Why, what is the
matter with me? Probably because you are reduced, your
eyesight has also become reduced and I appear reduced to you!”
Later, in the hall, Bhagavan introduced this gentleman to all
present and said, “This is the Vasu who caught hold of me when
returning from an oil bath one hot day to Skandasramam and I
had that experience of what seemed like utter collapse with
even the heartbeat stopping.” Then Vasudeva Sastri said, “I was
then too young. I did not even know that it was death. But
because Palaniswami started crying, I thought it was death and
I caught hold of Bhagavan and I was trembling with grief.”
Bhagavan said here, “I could even in that state clearly see his
trembling and emotion.” V. added that, after Bhagavan
recovered, he told V. and Palani, “What? You thought I died?
Did you believe I would die even without telling you?”
Bhagavan also said, “We were in Virupakshi Cave and
when a tiger came that way one night, this is the person who
hastily ran into the cave leaving us in the verandah, shut the
door and then cried to the tiger, ‘Come on now. What can you
do?’” V. said, “Once Bhagavan and I went round the Hill during
the Skandasramam days. When we reached near Easanya Mutt
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about 8-30 a.m., Bhagavan sat on a rock and said with tears in
his eyes he would never again come to the Asramam and would
go where he pleased and live in the forests or caves away from
all men. I would not leave him and he would not come. It became
very late. We went there about 8 or 8-30 a.m. and even when it
became 1 p.m. we were still in this deadlock. Bhagavan asked
me to go into the town and eat my food and then come back if
I wanted. But I was afraid that if I went Bhagavan would go
away somewhere. Meanwhile, the Swami of Easanya Mutt very
unexpectedly came that way. Ordinarily it could not be expected
he would have come there at that time at all. But strange to say,
he came that way and he persuaded Bhagavan to go with him
to Easanya Mutt. I left Bhagavan there and ran up to the town
for my food and came back swiftly, fearing that Bhagavan might
have left. But I found him there and we both came to
Skandasramam afterwards.”
When this was mentioned, Bhagavan said, “Another time
too I wanted to run away from all this crowd and live somewhere
unknown, freely as I liked. That was when I was in Virupakshi
Cave. I felt my being there was an inconvenience and hardship
to Jadaswami and some other swamis there. But on that occasion
my plans were frustrated by Yogananda Swami. I tried to be free
on a third occasion also. That was after mother’s passing away. I
did not want to have even an Asramam like Skandasramam and
the people that were coming there then. But the result has been
this Asramam and all the crowd here. Thus all my three attempts
failed.”
In another connection also Bhagavan mentioned this
Vasudeva Sastri today. Mr. G.V.S. read out a Telugu stanza
composed by him on celebration of birthdays (yesterday was
G.V.S.’s birthday, it seems). When this was read out, Bhagavan
said, “It is this Vasu and others that wanted to celebrate my
birthday first in 1912. I was quite opposed to it. But Vasu
pleaded with me: ‘It is for us and so Bhagavan should not
object’ and they celebrated it that year for the first time.”
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In the afternoon, Sundaresa Iyer’s grandson (about a month
old) was brought by Mr. Narayanaswami Aiyar into the hall to
Bhagavan, his daughter following behind. Bhagavan took the
child into his hands, when it was offered by N. Aiyar and said, “I
was wondering whether you were bringing some doll. He is
looking at me and smiling.” After holding the child, Bhagavan
was about to return him to N. Aiyar, when his daughter ran up to
Bhagavan and, showing a red mark on the child’s abdomen, said,
“There is this red mark on the child. Further he had Brahma
mudi (literally, knot of Brahma) at the time of his birth.” Bhagavan
looked at the birthmark and then returned the child. The girl
continued and said, “We don’t know whether this mark and that
knot are good. Mother asked me to ask Bhagavan. Are they
good?” Bhagavan was pleased to say, “All is only good” (FpXôm
SpXÕ Rôu). I consider these people extremely lucky and I
believe all will be well with this child in his life. Bhagavan further
remarked, after the child was returned and was seated on his
grandmother’s lap, “It is to attain the state of this babe that all
yoga is performed. This babe, what thoughts has it now. It does
not even blink its eyes.” Then the child’s mother began singing
M.V.R.’s Saranagati song. Bhagavan turning to G.V.S. said, “Do
you know what happened to this girl? She was living at Cawnpore
on the second or third floor and, though there was a tap, it seems
water would not flow up there. But she turned the tap and sang
this song and then water flowed, it seems. That is a siddhi. When
the father went to her, she said, ‘I will show you a miracle’ and
repeated the performance before him.”
When the birthmark was shown and there was talk about
it, Bhagavan said, “I too have a red mark on the sole of my
right foot. But the mark on this child’s abdomen is big.” Then
T.S.R. said, “Mr. Ramaswamy Iyer has sung that Bhagavan’s
feet had become red on account of the burning tears shed at
His feet by devotees and another writer has described the red
mark as the anklet (pada chilambu) mark of Nataraja.”
320
Vasudeva Sastri recounted another incident, which he
had seen:
“One day, when we were at Skandasramam, I was aghast
to find a scorpion climbing up over Bhagavan’s body in the front
and another at the same time climbing down his back. I was
terrified and wanted to do something. But Bhagavan remained
calm, as if nothing happened, and the two scorpions, after crawling
over his body as if over a wall, eventually left him. After they
left, Bhagavan explained to us, ‘They crawl over you just as they
would crawl on the floor or a wall or tree. Do they crawl over
these, stinging as they go? It is only because you fear them and
do something that they fear you and do something in return’.”
6-10-46
This afternoon Bhagavan spoke of his days at
Pachaiamman Koil, when he had to remind the office to send
a reply to a relation of Rangachari (who used to go to Bhagavan
daily in those days, and remained with him, during the plague
scare, at the above Pachaiamman Koil). Bhagavan said, “On
account of plague, the whole town was completely evacuated
for six months. There was a staff of about two hundred people
who went on daily disinfecting house after house and they
lived in two camps, one of about one hundred and fifty near
Chetti Kolam Koil and another of fifty at the other end of the
town. I stayed at Pachaiamman Koil, with two or three others.
The disinfecting staff used to go to me frequently. They said
they were going to organise a bhajana at the end of their stay
and that I should attend it. I did not say I would not go, thinking
their proposed bhajana might not come off at all. But one
night, suddenly, a party of thirty or forty people with torches
in their hands came up to us, after we had gone to sleep, and
woke us up. I asked, ‘What is the matter?’ Then they revealed
that the bhajana had been arranged, that everything was ready
and that I should go with them. I could not say ‘No’ when so
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many of them came like that, and so I went. They had made
elaborate arrangements. So many lights, so many eatables, so
many garlands and musicians of repute sent for from various
places. They had arranged a seat for me and another platform
for those who were to do bhajana. They garlanded me. All
the people in the town were there. All the benches and chairs
also were there. Several of the people assembled there were
also drunk and so they were all in high spirits. I remained
with them for some time and then took leave and came away.
Some of them again came back with me with their torches
and left me at Pachaiamman Koil and returned.”
T.S.R. then asked, “It seems Bhagavan once had a dream
and saw so many siddhas assembled before him, that they
looked all familiar to him and that he sat there on a dais with
chinmudra.” Bhagavan replied, “Is that the only thing? I have
seen several such visions. What am I to say?” He continued,
“Once I came across a sunai (spring in a cave); I went towards
it. As I approached, it was getting wider, and there were trees
on either side. It became broader and broader. There was good
light and the passage led to a big tank. In the middle of the tank
was a temple.” I asked, “This was not a dream?” Bhagavan
said, “Whether it was a dream or jagrat (waking), call it what
you like.” (Somasundaram Pillai says the words Bhagavan used
were L]úYô, Lôh£úVô). Bhagavan also recounted that after
he came here, within the last six years or so, he saw huge streets,
lined with imposing houses on either side leading to the
Asramam; that Chadwick and others were following him in
that dream, and Bhagavan asked Chadwick, “Can anyone call
all this a dream?” and that Chadwick replied, “Which fool will
call all this a dream?” At that stage, he woke up. When Bhagavan
distinctly calls this a dream and the previous experience he
leaves to others to call, dream or waking, I am led to believe
that the other vision of the tank and temple was in the waking
or some other stage, which was not dream.
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Mr. T.V. Krishnaswami Aiyer asked, “Were Bhagavan’s
brother and others aware of Bhagavan’s absorption in the Self
and indifference to external things?” Bhagavan said, “Yes. They
could not but be aware. For though I tried my best to appear as if
I was attending to external affairs, I could not succeed fully in
the attempt. I would sit down to read like others, open a book,
pretend to read it and after some time turn the page. Similarly,
after some time I would take up another book. But all knew that
my attitude had changed. They used to make fun of me for this
abstraction of mine. I never took offence, as I was totally
indifferent to their taunts. This encouraged them to go on with
their mockery. If I was so minded, I could have silenced them all
with one blow. But I did not care at all. After the ‘death’ experience
I was living in a different world. How could I turn my attention
to books? Before that, I would at least attend to what the other
boys repeated and repeat the same myself. But afterwards, I could
not do even that. At school, my mind would not dwell on study
at all. I would be imagining and expecting God would suddenly
drop down from Heaven before me.”
Someone asked Bhagavan whether he deliberately went
in for a study of Periapuranam. Thereupon Bhagavan said, “No.
No. It was a mere accident. A relation of mine, my uncle, was
given the book by a swami who was living near our house and
was advised to read it. Thus the book happened to be in our
house and, coming across it, I looked into it first out of curiosity
and then, becoming interested, read the whole book. It made a
great impression on me. Before that, the sixty-three images of
the Nayanars in the temple were mere images and no more.
But afterwards, they gained new significance for me. I used to
go and weep before those images and before Nataraja that God
should give me the same grace He gave to those saints. But this
was after the ‘death’ experience. Before that, the bhakti for the
sixty-three saints lay dormant, as it were.” Mr. Somasundaram
Pillai asked Bhagavan, “With what bhava did Bhagavan cry
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before those images? Did Bhagavan pray he should have no
further birth, or what?” Bhagavan replied, “What bhava? I only
wanted the same grace as was shown to those saints. I prayed I
should have the same bhakti that they had. I knew nothing of
freedom from births or bondage.”
8-10-46
This afternoon, a visitor asked Bhagavan, “No doubt the
method taught by Bhagavan is direct. But it is so difficult. We
do not know how to begin it. If we go on asking, ‘Who am I?’
‘Who am I?’ like a japa, with ‘Who am I?’ for mantra, it
becomes dull. In other methods, there is something
preliminary and positive with which one can begin and then
go step by step. But in Bhagavan’s method, there is no such
thing, and to seek the Self at once, though direct, is difficult.”
Bhagavan: You yourself concede, it is the direct method.
It is the direct and easy method. When going after other things,
alien to us, is so easy, how can it be difficult for one to go to
one’s own Self? You talk of ‘Where to begin’. There is no
beginning and no end. You are yourself the beginning and the
end. If you are here and the Self somewhere else, and you have
to reach that Self, you may be told how to start, how to travel
and then how to reach. Suppose you who are now in Ramana
Asramam ask, ‘I want to go to Ramana Asramam. How shall I
start and how to reach it?’, what is one to say? A man’s search
for the Self is like that. He is always the Self and nothing else.
You say ‘Who am I?’ becomes a japa. It is not meant that you
should go on asking ‘Who am I?’ In that case, thought will not
so easily die. All japas are intended, by the use of one thought,
the mantra, to exclude all other thoughts. This, japa eventually
does for a man. All other thoughts, except the thought of the
mantra, gradually die and then even that one thought dies. Our
Self is of the nature of japa. Japa is always going on there. If
we give up all thoughts, we shall find japa is always there
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without any effort on our part. In the direct method, as you call
it, by saying ask yourself ‘Who am I?’ you are told to concentrate
within yourself where the I-thought (the root of all other
thoughts) arises. As the Self is not outside but inside you, you
are asked to dive within, instead of going without, and what
can be more easy than going to yourself? But the fact remains
that to some this method will seem difficult and will not appeal.
That is why so many different methods have been taught. Each
of them will appeal to some as the best and easiest. That is
according to their pakva or fitness. But to some, nothing except
the vichara marga will appeal. They will ask, ‘You want me to
know or to see this or that. But who is the knower, the seer?’
Whatever other method may be chosen, there will be always a
doer. That cannot be escaped. Who is that doer must be found
out. Till that, the sadhana cannot be ended. So eventually, all
must come to find out ‘Who am I?’. You complain that there is
nothing preliminary or positive to start with. You have the ‘I’ to
start with. You know you exist always, whereas the body does
not exist always, e.g., in sleep. Sleep reveals that you exist even
without a body. We identify the ‘I’ with a body, we regard the
Self as having a body, and as having limits, and hence all our
trouble. All that we have to do is to give up identifying our Self
with the body, with forms and limits, and then we shall know
ourselves as the Self that we always are.
The visitor further asked, “May I believe that there is
nothing more to be known now, so far as the technique of
sadhana is concerned, than that which has been written in
your books from time to time? This question arises from the
fact that, in all other systems of sadhana, the sadguru unfolds
some secret technique of meditation to his disciple at the time
of initiation or diksha, as it is called.”
Bhagavan: There is nothing more to be known than what
you find in books. No secret technique. It is all an open secret,
in this system.
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Visitor: If, even after God-realisation, one has to pay
attention to his bodily needs such as hunger, sleep, rest, heat
and cold, of what use is Self-realisation? This state is
something, which cannot be called completeness.
Bhagavan: What will be the state after Self-realisation?
Why should you bother about it now? Attain Self-realisation,
and then see for yourself. But why go to the state of Selfrealisation?
Even now, are you without Self? And are all these
things, eating, sleeping, etc., without or apart from the Self?
9-10-46
This morning, Nagamma read out her Telugu account of
the Jubilee celebrations which appeared in the journal
Navodaya. Last evening a European lady and gentleman arrived
here, with an introduction to Bhagavan from Mr. D.S. Sastri.
About 2-30 p.m. today, the lady came and sat in the hall along
with other ladies and had her legs stretched out in front of her
and opposite Bhagavan. T.S.R. went to her and quietly told her
that it was not quite good form here to sit like that before
Bhagavan; and she folded her legs. Bhagavan was greatly
annoyed at this and rebuked T.S.R. saying, “Why this mischief
(úNxûP)? It is difficult for them to squat at all on the floor
like us. Why should you make it more difficult by imposing
further restrictions?” After saying this, Bhagavan added, “Now,
my conscience pricks me that I am having my legs stretched
out in front of all.” So saying, he drew in his legs, folded them
and kept on like that till 4-45, when he rose as usual.
10-10-46
This morning, after his usual stroll, Bhagavan arrived in
the hall about 7-35 and, sitting on the couch, stretched out his
legs. But immediately, he drew them back and folded them
saying, “I am forgetting,” recounted yesterday’s incident, and
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ended, “My conscience pricks me. I cannot keep my legs
stretched out in front of all.” Still he kept his legs folded. In the
afternoon too, he had not forgotten this and was trying to keep
to this new resolve of his. But before the evening he relaxed a
bit, as all of us entreated him that it should be given up.
This afternoon, Mr. Subba Rao said that some incidents in
Bhagavan’s life had not at all been recorded in any book so far;
for instance, he said, nobody knew that Bhagavan was for some
time nude, but he found out by reading Bhagavan’s horoscope
that he must have been nude for some time. It was then discovered
in the Telugu biography the above fact about Bhagavan was
mentioned. This led Bhagavan to say, “It is true I was nude for
some time in the early days, when I was under the illuppai tree in
the Temple compound. It was not because I had a vairagya that
I should have no clothing of any sort. The cod-piece I was wearing
used to bring on sores where it touched the skin. When the sore
became bad, I threw away the cod-piece. That is all. There used
to be an old Gurukkal who for the first time arranged for some
regular food for me either by supplying some from his house or
by sending the abhisheka milk from the temple to me. After I
had been nude for about a month, this old Gurukkal told me one
day, ‘Boy, the Kartigai Deepam is approaching. People from all
the 24 districts will be flocking here. Police from all the districts
will also be here. They will arrest you and put you into jail if you
are nude like this. So you must have a cod-piece.’ So saying, he
got a new piece of cloth, made four people lift me up and tied a
cod-piece round me.”
Bhagavan also related today that on the morning of the day
after his arrival he had his first meal at Tiruvannamalai.
Apparently, he ate nothing at all on the first day. He said, “The
next day I was walking up and down in the sixteen-pillared
mantapam in front of the Temple. Then a Mauni Swami who
used to be living in the old days in the Kambathu Ilaiyanar Temple
327
came there from the Temple. Another Palni Swami, a well-built
man with long matted hair who used to do a lot of service, by
clearing and cleaning the Temple precincts with the help of a
band of sannyasis, also came to the sixteen-pillared mantapam
from the town. Then the Mauni looking at me, a stranger here,
being in a hungry and exhausted condition, made signs to the
above Palaniswami that I should be given some food. Thereupon
the above Palaniswami went and brought some cold rice in a tin
vessel which was all black, with a little salt strewn on top of the
rice. That was the first bhiksha which Arunachaleswara gave me!”
11-10-46
This afternoon, I made Nagamma read out to us all in the
hall her account of what Bhagavan had said in reply to Prof.
D.S. Sarma’s questions on 4-10-46. Mr. Sarma had also sent an
account himself of his talk with Bhagavan. We had that also
read out. On comparison, I found that what I had already
recorded in these pages needed few alterations. Nagamma has
recorded all that took place then, including questions which
others besides Mr. Sarma put and the answers Bhagavan gave
them. In this connection, Bhagavan recollected that he had in
answering Sarma quoted “abhyasakale sahajam sthitim
prahurupasanam” (Ramana Gita). (What is sahaja state is
known as upasana during practice). Bhagavan again repeated
much of what he told Prof. Sarma and said, “What is obvious,
self-evident and most immediate to us, the Self, we say we are
not able to see. On the other hand, we say that what we see
with these eyes alone is pratyaksha (direct perception). There
must first be the seer before anything could be seen. You are
yourself the eye that sees. Yet, you say you don’t know the eye
that sees, but know only the things seen. But for the Self, the
Infinite Eye (@kRªXôdLi), referred to in the stanza in
Ulladu Narpadu (Reality in Forty Verses), what can be seen?
You want sakshatkaram. You are now doing karam of all these
328
things, i.e., real-ising these things, regarding as real all these
things, making real what is not real. If this karam is given up
out of your present sakshatkaram of the unreal, then what will
remain is that which is real or sakshat.”
This evening, the Polish lady, Uma Devi, arrived with a
party of 25 Polish people, mostly girls, from the Kolhapur
State, where there is a refugee camp of about 5,000 Poles.
12-10-46
This afternoon the Polish party entertained Bhagavan
with their folk-songs and folk dances.
14-10-46
This morning I told Bhagavan, “Last night, as desired by
Uma Devi, I took some of the Polish party round the Hill and
on the way explained to them the tradition about the Hill and
the various gods of our religion. They said ‘How many gods?
How can there be so many gods?’ Though I explained to them
that the same God is worshipped in various aspects, etc., they
said they could not understand it all.” Thereupon, Bhagavan
suggested that they should peruse the book All is One which
had been translated into English and asked me to find out if
typed copies of the English translation were available for being
given to them. I brought three copies from the Mauni. Bhagavan
gave one to Uma Devi, one to the girls of the party and had the
third in his hands. Meanwhile Mr. T.K.S. came there and asked
for the third copy and Bhagavan gave it to him. Uma Devi said
that she had finished her Polish translation of the Gita and that
only her introduction and Sir Radhakrishnan’s foreword had to
be written before the book could be sent to the press.
15-10-46
This morning the Polish party left. This evening Dr. B.K.
Roy who has been staying in Ramana Nagar for about a month
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or more and visiting the Asramam, told Bhagavan that, as
desired, he had gone through Zimmer’s book, and found that
the translation the Asramam had already of a portion of the
book was quite good and that he could not improve it, and
that the rest of the book contained nothing original of Zimmer
but was only a translation of Bhagavan’s works. (This Dr.
Roy seems to be a Bengali writer, well-read in English and
other languages. He is a Doctor of Philosophy who has stayed
long in Germany, Switzerland and other places).
16-10-46
This night, the above Dr. Roy took leave of Bhagavan,
saying he was leaving the following morning. Mrs.
Taleyarkhan also told Bhagavan that one Miss Boman, a Swiss
lady who has been here for the last three days, would be leaving
tomorrow, and Miss B. made her namaskarams and left. (This
Miss B., it seems, has been in India for about eight years, at
the head of the Baroda palace staff of servants. It seems she
does not believe in God, but believes in social service. She
has come here having heard of Bhagavan from Mrs. T. when
the Maharani of Baroda was staying at Ooty last summer and
Miss B. was in the Rani’s party. Before coming here she wrote
to Mrs. T. “I am coming to see your God and hope I can make
him mine too”, (or words to that effect).
This night, another Dr. Roy, a blind gentleman, arrived
here from Sri Aurobindo Ashram, where it seems Dilip Kumar
Roy advised him to come here. It seems he went blind in his
seventh year, but has managed, in spite of it, to educate himself
so well that till recently he was a lecturer in Calcutta University
and is now a lecturer in the Tata Sociological Institute at
Bombay. He has married an American wife and, from the picture
he has been kind enough to show me and some others here, she
is a beautiful woman. He is a very remarkable person. He has
travelled all alone from Bombay now. But this is nothing. He
330
has travelled to America, Japan and other places all alone. When
we complimented him on all he has been able to achieve, he
says it is nothing compared to what Helen Keller, who lost all
her senses at 18 months, has been able to achieve for herself.
This gentleman had a private talk with Bhagavan after
8 p.m. today, when he narrated his eye-trouble and prayed
for Bhagavan’s mercy.
17-10-46
This morning Dr. Roy showed before Bhagavan how he
writes, reads, reads his watch, etc. I have learnt he is a M.A.,
B.L., of Calcutta University and afterwards became a Ph.D. of
an American University. In the afternoon, when I entered the
hall about 3 p.m., Dr. Roy was asking Bhagavan, “In the case
of persons who are not capable of long meditation, will it not
be enough if they engage themselves in doing good to others?”
Bhagavan replied, “Yes, it will do. The idea of good will be at
their heart. That is enough. Good, God, Love, are all the same
thing. If the person keeps continuously thinking of anyone of
these, it will be enough. All meditation is for the purpose of
keeping out all other thoughts.” After some pause, Bhagavan
said, “When one realises the Truth and knows that there is
neither the seer nor the seen, but only the Self that transcends
both, that the Self alone is the screen or the substratum on which
the shadow both of the ego and all that it sees, come and go, the
feeling that one has not got eyesight, and that therefore one
misses the sight of various things, will vanish. The realised
being, though he has normal eyesight, does not see all these
things.” (He sees only the Self and nothing but the Self).
After further discussion with Dr. Roy, Bhagavan added,
“There is nothing wrong in seeing anything, this body or the
world. The mistake lies in thinking you are the body. There is
no harm in thinking the body is in you. The body, world, all
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must be in the Self; or rather nothing can exist apart from the
Self, as no pictures can be seen without the screen on which
the shadows can be cast.” In answer to a question as to what
is the best way to the goal, Bhagavan said, “There is no goal
to be reached. There is nothing to be attained. You are the
Self. You exist always. Nothing more can be predicated of the
Self than that it exists. Seeing God or the Self is only being
the Self or yourself. Seeing is being. You, being the Self, want
to know how to attain the Self. It is something like a man
being at Ramanasramam asking how many ways are there to
reach Ramanasramam and which is the best way for him. All
that is required of you is to give up the thought that you are
this body and to give up all thoughts of the external things or
the not-Self. As often as the mind goes out towards outward
objects, prevent it and fix it in the Self or ‘I’. That is all the
effort required on your part. The different methods prescribed
by different thinkers are all agreed on this. The Advaita,
Dvaita, Visishtadvaita schools and other schools all agree that
the mind must give up thinking of external things and must
think of the Self, or God as they may call it. That is called
meditation. But meditation being our nature, you will find
when you realise the Self that what was once the means is
now the goal, that while once you had to make an effort, now
you cannot get away from the Self even if you want.”
18-10-46
This afternoon a visitor from Shimoga asked Bhagavan,
“How to still the tossing mind?” Bhagavan replied, “Who asks
this question? Is it the mind or you?” The visitor said, “The mind.”
Bhagavan: If you see what this mind is, it will be stilled.
Visitor: How to see what the mind is?
Bhagavan: What is your idea of the mind?
Visitor: My idea is, it is thought.





























(Continued  ...)





(My humble salutations to the lotus feet of Bhagavan Sree Ramana Maharshi
and also gratitude to great philosophers and others     for the collection)

1 comments:

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