Ramana Maharshi -Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma -1

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

Table of Contents

1. The Son is Beholden to the Father
2. Aham Sphurana
3. Quarrel Between Uma and Maheswara
4. Marriages
5. On to Skandasramam
6. In Service of the Sage
7. The Nikshepam (Treasure)
8. Service of Atma Swarupa is Atma Seva
9. Samatvam (Equality with All)
10. Worldly Troubles
11. What is Meant by Samsara?
12. “Go the Way You Came”
13. Ahetuka Bhakti (Motiveless Devotion)
14. Conventional Respect
15. Echamma’s Demise
16. The First Bhiksha
17. How Do You Know That You Do Not Know Anything?
18. Leopards and Snakes
19. Won’t You Please Hear My Speechless Appeal?
20. A Squirrel
21. Dharma is Different From Dharma–Sukshma
22. Moksha
23. Worship of the Cow
24. A Pair of Pigeons
25. Baby Cheetahs
26. Medication without Treatment
27. Bhakti’s Taste
28. Brahmasthram (Divine Weapon)
29. That is Play, This is Verse
30. Anger
31. Decorations to Amba (Goddess)
32. Avvaiyar’s Song
33. Astral Paths — Higher Worlds
34. Books
35. Disease
36. Kowpinavantah Khalu Bhagyavant
37. Moksha with the Body
38. Chiranjeevis (Immortal Beings)
39. Uma
40. Asthi, Bhathi and Priyam (Existence, Consciousne
41. The True Nature of Pradakshina
42. Abhayam Sarva Bhuthebhyaha (Compassion Towards All)
43. That Which Is, is Only One
44. The Black Cow
45. Paratpara Rupam (Form of the Supreme Being)
46. The Ethics of Social Existence
47. Which is the Vehicle?
48. Japa, Tapa and the Like
49. What is Samadhi
50. What is Sarvam (Everything)? (How to See Everything as One’s Self)
51. Death of Madhavaswami
52. “Anoraneeyam Mahatomaheeya
53. Dreams — Delusions
54. Pure Bhakti (Devotion) is Real Service
55. Guri (Concentration) Alone is the Gu
56. Siddhas
57. Karthuragnaya Prapyathe Phal
58. Sarva Samatvam (Universal Equality)
59. Yathechha (As One Desires)
60. Programme
61. An Unknown Devotee
62. Ekam Akshar
63. Contentment
64. Atma Pradakshina (Going Round the Self)
65. Narakasura — Dipavali
66. Life on the Hill — Some Incidents
67. Arpana (Offering)
68. Sadhana–Sakshatkaram (Practice–Manifestation)
69. Brahman is Real — The World is an Illusion
70. Swami is Everywhere
71. Akshara Swarupam (The Imperishable Image)
72. Upadesa Saram — Unnadhi Nalupadhi
73. The ‘I’ is the Mind Itself
74. The Golden Jubilee Festivities
75. The Golden Jubilee Celebrations
76. Brahmotsavam
77. Atmakaravritti (The Soul, its Form and Action)
78. Andavane
79. Omkaram–Aksharam
80. Anecdotes Regarding Life at Virupaksha Cave
81. Siva Bhakta Sundaramurti
82. Sundaramurti’s Bond of Servitude
83. Nature
84. Who is Ramana?
85. Dravida Sisuhu
86. Jnana Sambandhamurthy
87. Divine Force
88. Sleep and the Real State
89. The Incarnation of Sri Dakshinamurthy
90. The Jnani’s Mind is Brahman Itself
91. Maya (Illusion)
92. Aadarana (Regard)
93. Sadhana in the Presence of the Guru
94. Hridayam – Sahasraram
95. Telugu Venba
96. Ekatma Panchakam
97. Birth
98. Self (Atman)
99. Guru Swarupam (The Guru’s Form)
100. No Waste
101. Delusion and Peace Of Mind
102. Mother Alagamma
103. Human Effort
104. Headship of a Mutt
105. Regulating Sleep, Diet and Movements
106. Devotion without Irregularity
107. Blessings
108. A Bouquet of Precepts
109. Absolute Surrender
110. Visions in Dream
111. Divine Visions
112. The White Peacock
113. Which is the Foot and Which is the Head?
114. Suicide
115. The Shakti That is, is One
116. Prarabdha (Fate)
117. Seeing a Lion in a Dream
118. Where is the King and Where is the Kingdom?
119. Nididhyasana (Intense Concentration)
120. Ajapa Tatvam (The Meaning of Involuntary Japam)
121. Why any Secrecy?
122. Kriti Samarpana — Dedication of a Book
123. Karathala Bhiksha (Alms in the Palms)
124. Upanayanam (Ceremony of the Sacred Thread)
125. Forced Dinners
126. Questions with Half Knowledge
127. Puja with Flowers
128. Abhishekam (Worship with Water)
129. Tirthas and Prasadas (Holy Water and Food)
130. Hastha Masthaka Samyogam (Touching of the Head with the Hand by Way of Blessing)
131. “Vicharamanimala”
132. Residents in Foreign Countries
133. Akshayalokam (The Eternal World)
134. Jnanadrishti (Supernatural Vision)
135. Hearing, Meditation and the Like
136. The Attitude of Silence
137. Beyond the Three States
138. Samadhi
139. Remain Where You Are
140. Only One and All–Pervading Self
141. Manifestation of the Self
142. Simplicity
143. Mother’s Gift
144. Peace of Mind Itself is Liberation
145. Arunachalam
146. Manikkavachakar
147. The Omnipresent
148. Bondages
149. Brindavanam
150. Simple Living
151. On Being the Master
152. One-Pointedness
153. Existence after Realization
154. Vairagya, Bodha, Uparati
155. Knowledge of other Languages
156. Turiyavastha (The Fourth State)
157. Universal Brotherhood
158. Rememberance — Forgetfulness
159. The Path of Self–Enquiry
160. The Holy Beacon
161. Poor Man’s Mite
162. The Sleeper in the Cart
163. Six Kinds of Samadhis
164. Greatness of Non-–Attachment
165. Self–Enquiry: Essential in all Walks of Life
166. Vritti Janya Jnanam (Awareness of the Self Generated by Action)
167. The Passing Away of Mahatma Gandhi
168. Equality
169. Nihilists and Advaitins
170. Bhagavan’s First Manuscript
171. Kailasa
172. Educated People
173. Salutations
174. The Sacredness of the Feet of the Guru
175. What is Deliverance (Mukti)?
176. Nature’s Splendour
177. The First Bath and the First Shave
178. Undivided Attention
179. The Path of Love
180. Grace of the Guru
181. Discussion Between Ashtavakra and Janaka
182. Ribhu and Nidagha
183. The Screen
184. The Doer and the Doing
185. Nayana and the Ramana Gita
186. Concentration and Desirelessness
187. The Greatness of Man
188. Vedaranyam
189. Appar (A Saint)
190. The Meaning of Dakshinamurthy
191. Service
192. Embodiment of Compassion
193. The Deliverance of Lakshmi the Cow
194. Burial of Lakshmi the Cow
195. The History of Lakshmi the Cow
196. Deliverance to a Thorn Bush
197. A Poor Old Woman
198. Faith
199. Commentary on Sankara’s Atmabodha
200. Appropriate Teaching
201. Ardhanareeswara (A Form of Siva — Half Man and Half Woman)
202. Love of Animals
203. What is Happiness?
204. Where is the Swami?
205. Astrology
206. Life on the Hill
207. Playing with Children
208. Sadhu Sangam
209. Bhiksha in Agraharam
210. The Lotus Feet of the Master
211. Pachiamma-Durga
212. Visit of the Head of Puri Mutt
213. The Arrival of the Head of Sivaganga Mutt
214. Acceptance of Diksha
215. Nava Mani Mala
216. Supernatural Sights on Arunachala
217. The Big Self
218. Kundalini Sakti — Chinmaya Deha
219. The Self
220. Mutual Cursings
221. Bliss of the Self
222. Yatana Sariram
223. In the Service of the Mother
224. Tiger’s Skin
225. What Does Bhagavan Like Most?
226. Rented House
227. All Tamasic Articles are Forbidden
228. Solitude
229. Dosais
230. Golden–Armed
231. Avatar (Incarnation)
232. Inauguration of Mother’s Temple
233. Arrangements for Kumbhabhishekam
234. Worship of the Sandals
235. The Story of the Ten Brahmins
236. The Banyan Tree
237. Devotee’s Discomfiture
238. Aasura Vasana
239. Tulya Ninda Stutihi (He Who Takes Praise and Reproach Alike)
240. Patala Linga (The Underground Linga)
241. The Medicine Itself has Arrived
242. Veda Adhyayana (Study of the Veda)
243. Worldly Duties
244. Samadarsatvam! (Equality)
245. Kindness to Animals
246. The Helper of the Helpless
247. Residing in the Front Hall
248. The Happiness of an Independent Life
249. Fan
250. Desirelessness
251. The Importance of Yatra and Pradakshi
252. Sastras
253. Advaita Drishti
254. Jnana Yagnam
255. Pranayamam (Breath Control)
256. Sivam–Sundaram (Bliss and Beauty)
257. The Mudaliar Granny
258. Pilgrimage to Tiruchuli
259. Boyhood Days
260. Help for Good Works
261. Deceptive Appearances
262. Is All the Work for Which You Have Come Over?
263. Floor Decoration with Lime Powder
264. Follies
265. Bhajan
266. Medicated Oils and Butter
267. Book Binding
268. Where to Stay? Where to Go?
269. Boyhood Days at Madurai
270. Mukti Kanta
271. Titbits
272. The Greatness of Chillies
273. Brahmanirvana

RECOLLECTIONS OF SRI RAMANASRAMAM

1. Come, Let Us Go
   2. The Cook
   3. Titles
   4. How Fortunate is this Sabari!
   5. No Need for Leave Application for Women
   6. Why Worry?
   7. Fasting
   8. Give Them to Those Who have Already Eaten
   9. Figs
   10. Yadbhaavam Tat Bhava
   11. A Garland of Upadesas
   12. Mantropadesa
   13. A Little Child
   14. Kunjuswami’s Trip to Tirupati
   15. Arunachala Mahatmyam
   16. Ramana Sahasranamam
   17. Ganesan
   18. Is Your Ebullient Desire Satisfied?
   19. Anger and Resentment
   20. He is A Raja, Isn’t He?
   21. Secretary
   22. I See, That is the Real Purpose
   23. Will Not This too Go to Court?
   24. Tell Them and See if They Care for Your Words
   25. Guru Prasadam
   26. Sannyasa for Women
   27. Goddess Kali
   28. Endurance

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(1) THE SON IS BEHOLDEN TO THE FATHER

Next    21st November, 1945
Brother, you have asked me to write to you from time
to time whatever striking happens in Sri Bhagavan’s
presence and what Sri Bhagavan says on such occasions.

But am I capable of doing so? Anyway, I will make an
attempt and am beginning this very day. The attempt will
succeed only if Bhagavan’s Grace is on it.
The day before yesterday being full moon, the usual
Deepotsava (festival of lights) was celebrated on a grand scale.
This morning Sri Arunachaleswarar started for giri pradakshina
(going round the hill) with the usual retinue and devotees
and accompaniment of music. By the time the procession
reached the Ashram gate, Sri Niranjanananda Swami (the
Sarvadhikari) came out with Ashram devotees, offered coconuts
and camphor to Sri Arunachaleswarar, and paid homage when
the procession was stopped and the priests performed arati
(waving of the lights) to the God. Just then Sri Bhagavan
happened to be going towards the Gosala (cowshed) and seeing
the grandeur he sat down on the pial near the tap by the side
of the book depot. The arati plate offered to Arunachaleswarar
was brought to Bhagavan by Ashram devotees and Sri
Bhagavan took a little Vibhuti (holy ashes) and applied it to his
forehead, saying in an undertone “Appakku Pillai Adakkam”
(The son is beholden to the father). His voice seemed choked
with emotion as he spoke. The expression on his face proved
the ancient saying “bhakti poornathaya Jnanam” (the culmination
of devotion is knowledge). Sri Bhagavan is Lord Siva’s son.
Sri Ganapati Muni’s saying that he is Skanda incarnate, was
confirmed. It struck us that Bhagavan was teaching us that
since all creatures are the children of Ishwara, even a Jnani
should be beholden to Ishwara.
We can never tell how pregnant with meaning are the
words of Mahatmas. You ask me to write somehow, but how
can I convey the exquisite beauty of his utterances? How
can I describe adequately? I wrote in a recent poem that
every word that falls from his lips is scripture. Why talk of
his words alone? If one has the ability to understand, his
very gaze and gait, his action and inaction, inhaling and
exhaling — everything about him is full of meaning. Have I
the capacity to understand and interpret all this? With full
faith in Sri Bhagavan’s grace, I shall write to you whatever
occurs to me, serving Sri Bhagavan with the devotion of the
squirrel to Sri Rama.
SISTER

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(2) AHAM SPHURANA

Prev Next    22nd November, 1945
Yesterday a Bengali Swami in ochre robes by name
Hrishikesanand came here. This morning from 8-30 to
11-00 Bhagavan continuously discussed spiritual matters with
him. That voice flowed full of nectar and uninterruptedly
like the waters of the Ganges. How can my pen keep pace
with that great flow? That amrit (nectar) can only be drunk
deep with the hand of devotion: how can it be gathered and
conveyed on paper? When Sri Bhagavan was relating his
experiences in Madurai of the vision of death, these eyes
were incapable of taking in the radiance of his personality,
these ears of grasping the full wisdom of his words. It is
natural for the enthusiasm of one who relates an incident to
reflect the level of intelligence of him who listens.

I should have given you a more detailed account of the
questions asked by the Swami and the replies given by
Bhagavan; only at present the place reserved for ladies in
the hall is rather far from Bhagavan and, as I happened to
be sitting at the back, I could not hear properly all that was
being discussed. I did however hear one thing clearly.
Bhagavan said, “In the vision of death, though all the senses
were benumbed, the aham sphurana (Self-awareness) was
clearly evident, and so I realised that it was that awareness
that we call ‘I’, and not the body. This Self-awareness never
decays. It is unrelated to anything. It is Self-luminous. Even
if this body is burnt, it will not be affected. Hence, I realised
on that very day so clearly that that was ‘I’.”
Many more such things were said but I could not follow
or remember them, and so I am not able to write any more
about them. There have been several discussions as this
before. I am only sorry I have let slip such innumerable
gems. Please excuse my laziness and indifference in not
writing to you even though you have been asking me all
these days to write.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(3) QUARREL BETWEEN UMA AND MAHESWARA

Prev Next    23rd November, 1945
This afternoon, while Viswanath was sitting near
Bhagavan along with other devotees, Bhagavan was somehow
reminded of an old widow and began to speak about her as
follows: (I afterwards learnt that she is the younger sister of
Muthu Krishna Bhagavathar who received Sri Bhagavan with
kindness and gave him food at Kilur Agraharam.) “That good
lady not only gave me a hearty meal, but also, with a loving
heart, gave me a parcel of sweetmeats offered as naivedya
(offerings to God) to the household God, saying, ‘My dear
boy, keep this with you carefully and eat the sweetmeats on
the way.’ She came to see me twice while I was in Virupaksha
Cave and used to say, ‘My dear boy, look what a state you are
in! Your body is golden and you do not even wrap a cloth
round it.’” When he spoke in this strain about her motherly
affection, I could see that Bhagavan was overflowing with love.

His voice was choked with emotion. That sight reminded me
of the saying that the heart of a Jnani is as soft as butter, and
once more of the old saying, “bhakti poornathaya Jnanam” (The
culmination of devotion is knowledge).
Sometime back, while reading that portion in Arunachala
Purana where Gautama was extolling Amba, Bhagavan’s eyes
were flooded with tears, his voice faltered and he put the
book aside and sank into silence. Whenever any incident
full of love takes place, or whenever passages saturated with
bhakti are read, we often see Bhagavan thus overwhelmed
with emotion. As one goes on observing, one gets confirmed
in the view that prema and bhakti (devotion) are merely
different aspects of jnana (knowledge).
About a week ago, a story appeared in the magazine
Hindu Sundari under the heading “Paachikalu” (dice). It seems
it was taken from the Skanda Purana. Once, even Parvati
and Parameswara succumbed to the quarrel-mongering of
Narada. “Lakshmi and Vishnu play dice, so why not you?”
said Narada, and egged them on to play. Parvati was
enthusiastic over the idea and persuaded Siva to play dice
with her. In the game, Siva lost and Parvati was puffed up
with pride and spoke slightingly of him. That is the legend.
After reading it, Bhagavan, his heart full of bhakti, asked
me, “Have you read this story?” When I said, “Yes,
Bhagavan,” he said with a voice choked with feeling, “The
holy festival which is annually performed here on Sankaranti
day, deals mainly with this quarrel between Uma and
Maheswara.”
You know, every year, the divine marriage festival is
celebrated here and during those days, if anybody were to
speak about the festival in Sri Bhagavan’s presence, Bhagavan
would usually remark with great feeling, “This is the
marriage festival of Father and Mother.” You know the lives
of Mahatmas are full of peculiar incidents. They express in
their faces whatever rasa (feeling) is appropriate to the
occasion. But what can one say in the presence of the all
pervading vijnana rasa which integrates all the other rasas?

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(4) MARRIAGES

    24th November, 1945
Yesterday I wrote to you about Bhagavan talking
sometimes of the marriage festival of “Father and Mother.”
Not only that, but whenever devotees bring newly wedded
couples in their family to pay homage at the lotus feet of Sri
Bhagavan, he blesses them with his wonted gracious smile;
he listens with interest to all the various incidents of the
marriage. If you observe Bhagavan’s face on such occasions,
you can see the same amusement which our elders used to
show when they witnessed the dolls’ marriages that we
performed in our childhood days.

Prabhavati got married not long ago. It must have been
about a year back. For about two years before her marriage
she was staying here. She is a girl from Maharashtra, good-
looking and cultured. She wanted to be a great bhakta
(devotee) like Saint Meerabai and so used to sing and dance
and say that she would never marry, and she would don
ochre garments and behave like a naughty child before Sri
Bhagavan. Bhagavan knew that her naughtiness would not
leave her until she got married. At last somehow she did get
married. Immediately after that the bride and bridegroom
came in their wedding attire with their relatives and offerings
of fruits and flowers and bowed down before Bhagavan.
After a stay of two or three days she came one morning at
8 o’clock with her husband seeking Bhagavan’s blessings before
leaving to set up home in her husband’s place. Squirrels were
playing about Bhagavan’s sofa and peacocks were wandering
outside the hall. There were not many people; it was calm and
quiet in the hall, the young man bowed down to Bhagavan
with awe and respect, took leave of him and stood waiting at
the side of the doorway. With downcast looks and bubbling
shyness and tearful eyes, the beloved child of the Ashram, while
waiting there for Bhagavan’s permission, looked like Shakuntala
trying to tear herself away from the Kanva Ashram. Bhagavan
nodded his head in token of permission, and then she bowed
down to him. No sooner had she crossed the threshold than
Bhagavan remarked, looking at me, “It was only yesterday, she
had the chapter of Krishnavatar in Bhagavata copied out by
Sundaresa Iyer.” I said with delight, “When next she comes
here, she will come with a child in her arms.” Meanwhile she
began to sing a full-throated song full of devotion with voice as
sweet as a Kokila while going round the hall in pradakshina
(circumambulation). Bhagavan was evidently moved and like
Kanva Rishi himself, he said, “Do you hear the hymn from
Mukundamala?” My eyes were filled with tears.
I went out and gave her my blessings while she again
and again prostrated herself to Bhagavan; then I saw her
out of the Ashram and returned to the hall. I do not know if
you will consider this an exaggeration, but I may tell you
that the stories we have read in the Puranas are being re-
enacted here and now before our very eyes.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(5) ON TO SKANDASRAMAM

Prev Next    25th November, 1945
Tomorrow is the auspicious day fixed for Bhagavan to
go to Skandasramam with devotees and hold a feast there.

All the brother and sister devotees residing in and around
the Ashram were busy the whole day making a fuss about
arrangements for the trip. Bhagavan was however sitting as
usual, dignified, calm and unconcerned. If all ask him to go,
he may do so; if they say do not go, he will stay away. Is there
anything for him to pack up or worry about? The kamandalu
(water bowl), the karra (walking stick), the kaupeena (loincloth)
and the towel over him are all the things about him. The
moment he thinks of it he could get ready to start.
Sankaracharya has described only such sages as “kaupeenavantah
khalu bhagyavantah” (he who wears a loincloth is verily the
richest). This Ashram, this programme, these devotees and
this paraphernalia are all like a drama enacted on the stage
for the benefit of others, but does Bhagavan really need them
all? Out of his abundant mercy he is in our midst; thus bound
down. By a mere wish, could he not go away freely crossing
the seven seas? Remember, his staying with us is our special
good luck. I shall write to you again about tomorrow’s
happenings.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(6) IN SERVICE OF THE SAGE

Prev Next    26th November, 1945
When I went to the Ashram for the early morning Veda
Parayana everyone was terribly busy. The kitchen presented
a picturesque appearance, some cooking, some cleaning,
some giving orders, everyone busy with one thing or another.

Puliyodara, dadhyonnam, pongal, vadai, chips, puries and kootu
and ever so many eatables were filled into baskets and sent
up the hill. The Sarvadhikari does not appear to have had a
wink of sleep the whole night. He is the person who has
taken all the trouble.
Lord Krishna is reported to have stopped the celebration
of the annual Indra Yajnam performed by the shepherds and
instead arranged for the worship of the Govardhana Giri itself.
When you saw the series of baskets going up the hill it appeared
as if Sri Ramana had arranged this worship of Arunachala in
place of the vana samaradhana of the Amala Tree (garden
festival) performed annually during the month of Karthika.
After Veda Parayana, Bhagavan had his bath and
breakfast and started for Skandasramam accompanied by
Rangaswami, who is like Nandi to Lord Siva. Leading the
way, Bhagavan went up the hill to Skandasramam as if he
was going to his own home.
Without giving the least inconvenience to Bhagavan the
devotees proceeded in several groups and reached
Skandasramam. Aunt Alamelu (sister of Bhagavan) and
myself followed. Some other women got to the destination a
little late. Being surrounded by the devotees Bhagavan was
seated comfortably under the pleasant shade of the trees
just in front of the Skandasramam building. This showed
what a Rishiasramam is generally like. This Ashram was just
like Badarikasramam of old as described in Harivamsam
though the latter could not now be witnessed direct. This
Skandasramam like Badarikasramam provided a visual feast
with its water coming out of the rocky fountain, resembling
the sandhyarghya jalam (the oblations at dawn and dusk) of
Samyameswara and warblings and melodious notes of the
birds sounding like the musical hymns of Sama Veda as sung
by rishikumaras (the sons of seers). Apart from the many
sadhakas and sannyasins present, lawyers and doctors,
engineers and artists, newspaper correspondents and poets,
songsters and a good many others arrived from Madras,
Pondicherry and Villupuram. The young and old, the men
and women and all without distinction of high and low,
squatted on the ground around Bhagavan looking at him
with a fixed gaze. While the Arunagiri abounding in mineral
wealth served as the precious jewelled-throne, the clouds
adorning the sky served the purpose of Sveta Chhatram (the
white Umbrella) and the tree grove with innumerable
branches acted as vensamarams (fans used in deity worship).
Sri Bhagavan shone in his glory as an emperor crowned,
while Prakritikanta (Nature personified) waved lights to him
with its agreeable rays of the sun.
Brother! How can I draw that picture for you? The
Maharshi is calm and his serene gaze, coming from the source,
pervades all corners. His gentle smile shone like the cool rays
of the moon. His words simply rained amrit. We sat there like
statues without consciousness of the body. The photographers
then attended to their job. After 9-30 a.m. the usual daily
programme of the Ashram below, relating to mails, newspapers,
etc. was gone through as in a Maharaja’s durbar. The clouds
then increased and the wind blew heavily. The devotees gave
Bhagavan a shawl with which he covered his whole body except
the face. Then Bhagavan, in his sitting posture, looked like his
mother Alagamma incarnate. Aunt and myself were of the same
opinion. This scene was also photographed.
Sri Bhagavan preached for some time in silence in the
“gurosthu mouna vyakhyanam” (the Guru explaining by mere
silence) way. There may certainly be some pure-hearted souls
that could all become “chhinna samsayah” (cleared of all
doubts). But in my case, my mind ran to the preparations
like puliyodara and dadhyonnam, etc., as it was lunch time.
The question was whether everything was offered to the hill
or anything was left behind. The doubt was solved after 11-
30 in the forenoon. My brethren wished to arrange the
delicacies for Bhagavan separately in a comfortable place.
But would he agree to that? He got a table arranged by his
sofa and feasted there in the midst of all.
After the meal, his sofa was set up on the verandah,
which has an iron-grating enclosure. The devotees were at
first at a distance but in a few minutes came near to Bhagavan.
Aunt Alamelu and I with some other women were seated in
an adjacent room looking at Bhagavan through a window
just opposite to his lotus feet. He then began to talk, telling
us short stories about his past life on the mountain, relating
the arrival of the mother, the construction of Skandasramam,
the water supply, the supply of provisions, the rule of the
monkey kingdom, the peacock dances, his association with
serpents and leopards. During this discourse he greeted a
new entrant, the poet Naganarya, by enquiring, “When did
you come?” Turning towards me he observed, “Here he
comes.” I replied, “Yes.” Then something was recalled to his
mind and he said, fixing his resplendent gaze, “There mother
had her nirvana (left her mortal frame). We made her sit
there outside. Still no mark of death was visible in her face.
Like one seated in deep samadhi, divine light was seen in a
holy dance. There, just there, where you are now sitting.”
His enchanting words entered my ears like the sweet
note of the Venu (the divine flute). I stood at this place worth
seeking and heard the words worth hearing. What a glorious
day is today!
Kapila liberated Devayani by initiating her into the
Reality. Dhruva put Sunita on the path of salvation. Sri Ramana
in his turn not only vouchsafed the eternal empire of freedom
and bliss to his revered mother but also did the highest honour
by installing the Mathrubhuteswara Lingam on her samadhi
to make her glory permanently extolled in the world.
On hearing the word “Mother” from the mouth of
Sri Bhagavan, I was overcome with ecstasy and tears filled
my eyes. It sounded as though the words about the mother
were uttered to the daughter. Mahatmas always honour
women. They view woman as the mother and love in perfect
form. There is no creation without nature. Before the arrival
of the mother there was no cooking in the Ashram. The
mother came and gave a hearty meal to the residents. The
agnihotra (fire) first instituted by the mother does the cooking
even today and fills the bellies of thousands of devotees.
I turned round to see the photo of that revered mother
but, being disappointed on finding none, said silently within,
“O Mother, that brought glory to womanhood in general!
We are blessed!” In the meanwhile various kinds of delicacies
were served. Half an hour after we ate them, puri and koottu
were given. After helping ourselves we began to go back.
After seeing us all off one after another, Bhagavan came down
from the throne of Arunagiri accompanied by his attendants
and, walking slowly, reached the Ashram at its foot just as
the sun sank behind the mountain on the west. Then the
routine programme of Veda Parayana, etc., was gone through
as usual.
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May the powers of the Mahatma be heard and seen direct.
Listen! Can they be transcribed in true perspective?
Is it possible for any one to do it?
Let Brahma alone do that job.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(7) THE NIKSHEPAM (TREASURE)

Prev Next    27th November, 1945
I opened yesterday’s letter and read it. The march to
Skandasramam was undoubtedly a happy trip. But on deep
thinking one thing could not but strike my mind. In a song
Vinnakota Venkataratnam writes:
“He satisfies the hunger and sends them away; but
allows not anybody to see the path to realisation. He behaves
as one attached and non-attached. Having shown the path,
he never cares to enquire further.”
These words seem to have come true. So long as we
were there in Skandasramam, he spoke on some topic or
other and after feeding us to the full, commanded us to
disperse. Notice this! By this alone we were overjoyed and
upset, losing body-consciousness. The real wealth, the nectar-
like treasure must have been hidden by him somewhere in
Arunachala. Without allowing us to trace and find out that
treasure, he made us forgetful of our real object by
administering intoxicants like puliyodara, dadhyonnam etc.

None had opened his lips to ask Bhagavan of that treasure.
But the fault really lies with us. This was not the kind of
food we really required, but of a different variety, the ekarasa,
the one without a second. It is said that even a mother never
gives anything without being asked. We only silently murmur
about some want. But if we yearn for it with genuine hunger,
would he not feed us with the spiritual food of everlasting
knowledge? He is the ocean of love and sympathy. We didn’t
know how to ask him for it. How is he affected thereby? He
kept his treasure hidden safely in Arunachala as if it were
his own house. How striking are the actions of Mahatmas!
He always fixes his gaze on It through the window. He never
becomes unaware of this hidden treasure even for a moment.
Is it possible for people like me to find out that treasure? He
bestows it on us only when we acquire the requisite merit. It
is said that gifts according to one’s deserts should be made,
and seed according to the nature of the soil should be sown.
Though we possess among us such a Bestower as our Guru,
we are not able to attain that Treasure, the reason being our
own incompetence. What do you say? Is it not true?

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(8) SERVICE OF ATMA SWARUPA IS ATMA SEVA

Prev Next    28th November, 1945
During the last two or three months, Bhagavan’s
personal attendants have been massaging his legs with some
medicated oil to relieve the rheumatic pain. Some of the
devotees, zealous in attention to Bhagavan’s body, also began
massaging by turn every half an hour, and this resulted in
upsetting the usual Ashram routine.

Would Bhagavan tolerate all this? He was always
considerate even to his personal attendants and would never
say emphatically “No” to anything; so he said in a casual
way, “All of you please wait for a while, I will also massage
these legs a little. Should I too not have some of the punyam
(merit)?” So saying, he removed their hands and began
massaging his own legs. Not only was I very much amused
at this but what little desire might have still been lurking in
me to touch Sri Bhagavan’s lotus feet and thus perform
pranam (salutation) was completely obliterated. Bhagavan’s
words have a peculiar charm of their own! Look! He too
wants a little of the punyam! What a delicate hint to those
who have the intelligence to take it!
It was about that time that a retired judge of ripe old
age said, “Swamiji, I should also be given my share of service
to the feet of the Guru.” To this Bhagavan replied. “Oh,
really? Atma-vai guruhu! (Service to Self is service to Guru.)
You are now 70 years of age. You to do service to me? Enough
of that! At least from now onwards, serve yourself. It is more
than enough if you remain quiet.”
When one comes to think about it, what greater upadesa
(teaching) is there than this? Bhagavan says it is enough if
one can remain quiet. It is natural for him to do so, but are
we capable of it? However much we try we do not attain that
state. What else can we do than depend upon Sri Bhagavan’s
Grace?

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(9) SAMATVAM (EQUALITY WITH ALL)

Prev Next    29th November, 1945
I believe it was about a year back. You know Ramachandra
Rao, an Ayurvedic physician? For preparing a medicine that
would give strength to Bhagavan’s body, he made out a
long list of the necessary herbs and ingredients and showed
it to Sri Bhagavan. Like a good boy, who would readily
obey instructions, Bhagavan went through the whole list,
praised the efficacy of the various drugs and finally said,
“For whom is this medicine, my dear man?” He said quietly,
“For Sri Bhagavan himself.” On hearing that, Bhagavan
said, “No doubt, you have given me a long list, but where
am I to get the money for it? It may cost Rs. 10/-, and
whom am I to approach for it?”
Someone quietly said, looking around at the Ashram
property, “Whose is all this, Swamiji?”
“Yes, but what have I? If I want a quarter anna, I must
go and ask the Sarvadhikari. How should I go and ask him?
He gives me a little food, if I go there as soon as the bell rings.

I also eat along with the others and then come back, and I
might be refused food if I was late. Even in being served food,
I come last,” said Bhagavan. The poor physician trembled
with fear and, with folded hands, said, “Swamiji, I just showed
you the list and I myself will get the required drugs.” Upon
this Bhagavan said, “Oh yes? You will get them? But if that
medicine is good for me, it must necessarily be good for all
the others here. Can you give it to them also as well as to me?”
When some people said, “Why do we want it, Swamiji?”
Bhagavan replied, “If people who do physical work don’t need
a body-building tonic, how do I who merely sits here and
eats? No, no, that can’t be!”
Once before, Dr. Srinivasa Rao told Bhagavan about an
Allopathic medicine which gives strength and said that it
would be good for Bhagavan if he took it. Bhagavan said,
“Yes, that is all right, you are rich and can take anything; but
what about me? I am a mendicant. How can I have such a
costly medicine?” Then the doctor said, “Bhagavan always
declines everything that is offered, but if he agrees to take
something, won’t it be forthcoming? Or if not medicines,
why not take some nutritious food such as milk, fruit and
almonds?”
Bhagavan replied: “All right; but I am a daridranarayana
(God in the form of the poor and the destitute). How can I
afford it? Besides, am I a single individual? Mine is a large
family. How can all of them have fruits, milk, almonds, etc.?”
Bhagavan dislikes anything special for himself. He
has often told us that if anybody brings eatables and
distributes them amongst all he will not mind even if he is
left out, but he will feel hurt if the eatables are given to
him only and not distributed to others along with him. If
he is walking along a path, and some people are coming
in the opposite direction, he does not like them to step
aside for him but instead he will himself step aside and
allow them to pass and, until they do, he will not go a step
farther. We should consider ourselves fortunate if we can
imbibe even a thousandth part of this spirit of equality
and renunciation.
If dull-witted people like me who do not know his ideas
give him preferential treatment in matters of food, etc., he
excuses a great deal since forbearance is his nature, but when
it goes too far he gets disgusted and says, “What am I to do?
They have the upper hand, they are the people who serve, I
am the one who eats. I must listen to what they say, and eat
when they want me to. You see, this is swamitvam (life of a
Swami). Do you understand?” What more admonition can
one want than this?

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(10) WORLDLY TROUBLES

Prev Next    30th November, 1945
About two years back, an old couple from Guntur, who
have been visiting the Ashram for a long time past, came
and stayed here for two months. The gentleman could not
stay away from his house and children for more than two
months at a stretch; however, with a view perhaps to put the
blame on the wife, he approached Bhagavan and said, “I
can’t bear these family troubles; I told my wife not to come
with me, but she has come. Before even two months have
elapsed, she says, ‘Come on, let us go. There are a lot of
things to attend to at home.’ I ask her to go alone but she
refuses. However much I tell her she does not listen to me.

Please, Bhagavan, you at least persuade her to go. Then I
shall eat with you and stay on here.”
Bhagavan replied jocularly, “Where will you go, my
dear man, forsaking your family? Will you fly up into the
sky? After all, you have to remain on this earth. Wherever
we are, there is the family. I too came away saying I did not
want anything, but see what a big family I have now! My
family is a hundred times bigger than yours. You ask me to
tell her to go, but if she comes and says, ‘where am I to go,
Swami? I would rather stay here,’ what shall I say to her
then? You say you don’t want your family, but what shall I
do with my family? Where shall I go, if I leave all this?”
The people in the hall were all smiles. The old man
squatted on the floor, saying, “Yes, but what does it matter
to Bhagavan? He is free from all bonds, and so he can bear
the burden of any family however big it may be.”
You should see how humorously Bhagavan talks about
things. Whatever he says has some teaching for us in it.
Devotees like myself have got into the habit of telling Bhagavan
about some pain in the leg or stomach or back. A person once
came and said, “My eyesight is bad. I cannot see properly. I
want Bhagavan’s grace for my relief.” Bhagavan nodded as
usual, and as soon as that person had left, he said, “He says
he has pain in the eyes, I have pain in my legs. Whom shall I
ask for relief?” We were all taken aback and kept quiet.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(11) WHAT IS MEANT BY SAMSARA?

Prev Next    1st December, 1945
During the early days of my arrival here, on one day at
about 3 o’clock in the afternoon, a middle-aged Andhra, who
had come recently, asked Bhagavan, “Swami, as I repeat Rama
Namam (the name of Rama) regularly every morning and
every evening for an hour, other thoughts come in, one by
one, increase from time to time and ultimately find that I
have forgotten my japam. What shall I do?”
“At that time catch hold of that name (Rama Namam)”
said Bhagavan. We all laughed. Poor man! He felt grieved
and said, “The reasons for these interruption is the samsara
(family), is not it? I am therefore thinking of abandoning
the samsara.” Bhagavan said, “Oh! Is that so? What really is
meant by samsara? Is it within or without?” “Wife, children
and others” he said. “Is that all the samsara? What have they
done? Please find out first what really is meant by samsara.

Afterwards we shall consider the question of abandoning
them,” said Bhagavan. He could not reply and so kept quiet,
crestfallen.
Bhagavan’s heart was full of compassion. With a look
full of tender kindness he said, “Supposing you leave your
wife and children. If you are here this will become another
kind of samsara. Supposing you take to sannyasa. Another
kind of samsara comes into existence in the shape of a karra
(walking stick), kamandalu (water bowl) and the like. Why all
that? Samsara means samsara of the mind. If you leave that
samsara, it will be the same thing wherever you are. Nothing
troubles you.”
Poor man! He mustered up some courage and said, “Yes,
that is it, Swami. How to give up that samsara of the mind?”
Bhagavan said, “That is just it; you said you were doing the
japam of Rama Namam. During the train of thoughts, you said
you were sometimes reminded of the fact that you had
forgotten the japam of Rama Namam. Try to remind yourself
of that fact as often as possible and catch hold of the name of
Rama frequently. Other thoughts will then slowly decrease.
For the japam of nam (repeating the name of the Lord) several
stages have been prescribed.
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icÄj< jpXyanmuÄmm!.
It is better to repeat the name by the mere motion of the
lips than by repeating it aloud; better than that is to repeat
it in the mind, and the best is dhyanam.
Upadesa Saram, verse 6

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(12) “GO THE WAY YOU CAME”

Prev Next    2nd December, 1945
On another occasion, an Andhra youth came and said,
“Swami, having a great desire for moksha (deliverance) and
anxious to know the way thereto, I have read all sorts of
books on Vedanta. They all describe it, each in a different
way. I have also visited a number of learned people and when
I asked them, each recommended a different path. I got
puzzled and have come to you; please tell me which path to
take.”
With a smile on his face, Bhagavan said, “All right, then,
go the way you came.” We all felt amused at this. The poor
young man did not know what to say. He waited until
Bhagavan left the hall and then with a depressed look turned
to the others there appealingly, and said, “Gentlemen, I have
come a long way with great hope and with no regard for the
expenses or discomfort, out of my ardent desire to know the
way to moksha; is it fair to tell me to go the way I came. Is this
such a huge joke?”
Thereupon one of them said, “No, sir, it is no joke. It is
the most appropriate reply to your question. Bhagavan’s
teaching is that the enquiry, ‘Who am I?’ is the easiest path
to moksha. You asked him which way ‘I’ should go, and his
saying, ‘Go the way you came,’ meant that if you investigate
and pursue the path from which that ‘I’ came, you will attain
moksha.”
The voice of a Mahatma indicates the truth even when
speaking in a light vein. Thereupon the book, “Who am I?”
was placed in the hands of the young man who felt astonished
at the interpretation, and taking Bhagavan’s words as upadesa,
prostrated himself to Bhagavan and went away.

Bhagavan usually gives us his teachings either in a
humorous or a casual way or by way of consolation. During
my early days at the Ashram, whenever I felt like going home,
I would approach Bhagavan at some time when there were
hardly any people present and say, “I want to go home,
Bhagavan, but I am afraid of falling back into family
muddles.” He would reply, “Where is the question of our
falling into anything when all comes and falls into us?”
On another occasion, I said, “Swami, I am not yet freed
from these bonds.” Bhagavan replied, “Let what comes come,
let what goes go. Why do you worry?” Yes, if only we could
realise what that ‘I’ is, we should not have all these worries.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(13) AHETUKA BHAKTI (MOTIVELESS DEVOTION)

Prev Next    3rd December, 1945
In August 1944, a Bengali youth in ochre-coloured
robes, by name Chinmayananda, a pracharak (preacher) of
the Hindu religion belonging to the Birla Mandir in Delhi,
came here. He had gone round several countries, visited the
Aurobindo Ashram and came here with a letter from Dilip
Kumar Roy. He is fond of devotional music and has a fine
voice. It was clear from the conversation that he was a
follower of the Bhakti cult of Chaitanya. He performed bhajan
in the presence of Bhagavan four or five times, singing songs
in Sanskrit and Hindi. It seems some one who was in charge
of a modern adhyatmic (spiritual) institution told him that he
cannot reach his goal in this life unless he stayed at one place
undisturbed.

With a view to find out Bhagavan’s opinion in this matter,
one day he approached Bhagavan and asked in a general
way: “Swami, can sadhakas attain this goal in life if they go
about the world absorbed in singing songs in praise of God?
Or should they stay at one place only for the purpose?” “It is
good to keep the mind concentrated on one thing only
wherever the person wanders. What is the use of keeping
the body at one place only if the mind is allowed to wander?”
said Bhagavan. “Is ahetuka bhakti (devotion without a motive)
possible?” asked that young man. “Yes, it is possible,” said
Bhagavan. Some time back, when some others also asked
the same question during conversation, Bhagavan had
replied saying, “Why is it not possible?” The bhakti (devotion)
of Prahlada and Narada was only ahetuka bhakti.
The devotion shown by our Bhagavan towards
Arunachala is an example of this type of bhakti. During the
very first darshan, Bhagavan had said, “Oh father! I have
come here according to your orders and have surrendered
myself to you.” Look! Bhagavan says, Lord Arunachala had
ordered and that he had come! Why was he ordered and
why had he come? Bhagavan had come and had surrendered
himself completely. If asked for what purpose he had done
all that, what is there to say! See the bhava (meaning) in the
seventh stanza of Arunachala Navamani Mala written by
Bhagavan in Tamil. This was translated into Telugu by
G. Narasinga Rao. What is the purpose indicated in this
stanza? Nothing. Bhagavan tells us, now and then, that
ahetuka bhakti, ananya bhakti, poorna bhakti and the like are
synonymous with jnana and are not different.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(14) CONVENTIONAL RESPECT

Prev Next    12th December, 1945
One morning, during the usual conversations the topic
turned on Bhagavan’s mother coming away to live with him
and on her manner of life, and Bhagavan spoke to us as
follows:
“Mother began coming here frequently and staying with
me for long periods. You know I always address even beasts
and birds in a respectful manner. In the same way, I used to
address Mother also with the respectful form of speech. It
then occurred to me that I was doing something hurtful. So
I gave up the practice and began addressing her in the
familiar way. If a practice is natural and has become habitual
you feel uncomfortable at changing it. But anyway what do
these bodily things matter?” He spoke with deep feeling and
my eyes filled with tears.

Before the dawn of youth appeared on his face he
had relinquished all worldly desires, and with Divine
desire he hastened to the holy Arunachala where he reigns
in the Kingdom of Eternal Bliss. How can one speak of
the enormous fortune of that mother, in having had the
privilege of being called ‘Amma’ (mother) by such a son?
In the Vedas, the mother holds the first claim for worship:
“Mathru devo bhava” (Let mother be your God). Even so,
the beauty of it is that Bhagavan felt it unnatural for him
to address her in the respectful form. If he addressed her
so, would she not feel hurt? She felt satisfied only if he
addressed her as “Mother.” Perhaps Bhagavan felt that
he ought not to wound her feelings in so small a matter.
“When my Mother passed away I thought I had escaped
bondage and could freely move from place to place and live
in solitude in some cave or other, but in fact I have now an
even greater bondage; I cannot even move out.” Bhagavan
often speaks in this way. Mother he had only one, but
children he has in thousands, so is not this greater bondage?
I tell you, the other day, hearing that Skandasramam was
being repaired, he went there at noon, along with his
attendant Rangaswami, just to see, without telling anybody,
intending to return quietly. But what happened? We all went
there, wild with excitement and surrounded him, and would
not allow him to move. It was only with great difficulty that
he managed to return with the whole crowd by about 8 p.m.
A fortnight later, the labourers reported to Bhagavan
that they had finished constructing the path to
Skandasramam and begged him to have a look at it.
Bhagavan said, “We shall see.” That morning we all
expressed our keen desire to go there. Bhagavan cajoled
us, saying, “We will all go there for a picnic some time
later.” Then in the evening at about 5 o’clock he went out
as usual for his walk on the hill and from there slipped
away quietly to Skandasramam. As soon as this became
known, men and women alike began going up the hill
with torches and lanterns regardless of the approaching
darkness. It was one thing for people who do not know
Bhagavan’s ways to follow him up the hill, but I thought
that I, who knew how things were, ought not to go. Twice
I started to go up and returned after reaching the first
turning, but finally I could not resist the temptation to
follow the crowd. Just as the monkey cannot change its
nature, however we cajole it, so my mind’s natural
tendencies reasserted themselves, however much I tried
to control them. What is the use of being sorry about it
afterwards?
Actually, when all his children came up like that in the
darkness, how grieved Bhagavan must have felt that there
was no place for them to sit and nothing for them to eat.
That is why in his overflowing kindness he later arranged a
regular feast for them all there. How could he manage this
enormous family but for his wonderful controlling ability?
How could he manage to be so detached even in the midst
of this big family were he not full of profound peace?
Remember, there is nothing beyond the power of the great
Master.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(15) ECHAMMA’S DEMISE

Prev Next    29th December, 1945
On the night of Thursday, the 27th, at 2-45, Echamma,
who was like a mother to Bhagavan, left her body and
attained union with the Almighty at Bhagavan’s lotus feet. I
feel rather gratified than sorrowful at this news. When I
moved from her house to a residence near to the Ashram,
she would often say, “I loved you as my child. I thought you
would see me out of this world, but you have gone away to a
distance. Now you will come to me only after I am dead, to
see the body off to the cremation ground, won’t you?” When
she said this, tears used to well up in her eyes. But it
happened just as she had said. I only heard the news of her
death, not of her sickness. There is a saying, “The child is
firm as a rock, the mother fragile as shellac.” I am only sorry
it came too true in this case.

You remember on the 25th you and your wife presented
her with some clothes and she was then busy cooking for
guests in the house. That same evening, she was unable to
get up and so asked for water and she was given some. After
drinking it, she lay quietly and so all the guests left. I am
giving you the details as related by her niece who attended
on her. After that drink of water she could not talk or eat,
but remained bedridden. Next day this news was conveyed
to Bhagavan. On the 27th her condition became serious.
Telegrams were sent to her relatives. Even though she was
almost unconscious she would open her eyes slightly, when
anyone called her. At about four in the afternoon one lady
wanted to test how far she was really conscious. So she said,
“Food does not appear to have been sent to Bhagavan today.”
Immediately she heard the word “food” she opened her eyes
full and, with an exclamation, cast a questioning look. So as
not to disturb her peace of mind, her niece said, “We have
sent it,” and she nodded her head in approval. That is real
vrita deeksha (strict observance of a vow). What can one say of
the great mother who would not forget her kainkarya (service)
to Bhagavan, even though she was in the throes of death!
That is all. At 8 o’clock that evening incoherent sounds
were coming out of her mouth, her eyes were glazed and
she was clearly in the pangs of death. Her niece came to
Bhagavan and brought the news. The Ashram doctor went
there, examined her and declared that there was no hope;
and then they performed her jeevaprayaschitham (last rites).
Anyway, after the news was conveyed to Bhagavan, she had
not much suffering, the breathing became easier and feebler
and she passed away at 2-45 a.m. I came to know of her
illness on Thursday evening and thought I could look her
up the next morning but when I came to the Ashram before
starting, I heard this sad news. Bhagavan said to me, “Oh,
is she dead? I have been waiting to see when she would get
away from all these worldly worries. So she has gone away
from all these worries. All right, go there and come back.”
I went there along with some devotees. I was
overpowered with grief when I saw that body with the face
still undimmed. She was undoubtedly a powerful personality
and, when I was here alone in my early days, she was my
sole support. Though much against her will, I changed my
residence, she used to bring me food along with Bhagavan’s
whenever I was unwell. In accordance with her previous
instructions, I bathed her body in Ganges water, smeared it
with vibhuti (holy ashes) and put on rudraksha beads and then
saw her off on her final journey. All her relatives decided
that she should be cremated, not buried.
When I prostrated before Bhagavan at 2-30 in the
afternoon, he asked, “How did she die? What did they do?”
I replied, “They decided on cremation. Her relatives said
that she wished her ashes to be buried in her village and a
samadhi erected over them with a tulsi plant for worship.”
Bhagavan said, “Yes, yes, that is right. The same was done
with Ganapati Sastri and others.” After I sat down, Bhagavan
said in a consoling manner, “I told her quite a number of
times not to worry about this food but to stop it. But no! She
was adamant and refused to take food until she had served
Swami. Even today food was sent to me on her account.”
I said, “No more now.” “That Mudaliar old lady is still there,”
said Bhagavan. When he said this I was overcome with grief
and said, “Whenever Echamma gave me something to eat,
she used to get angry if I did not eat it then and there.” By
this time my eyes were full of tears, and saying, “Yes, yes,”
Bhagavan changed the subject. The earthly life of a devotee
who for thirty eight years kept this vow as her talisman and
worshipped God has now come to an end.
Another interesting thing: on the evening of the 27th,
after Veda Parayana and my usual pradakshina (going around
the hall), when I went in to bow before Bhagavan, I saw him
seated motionless in padmasana, deeply immersed in dhyana
and with his hands hanging loose at his side. His eyes were
glowing with radiance as if they were two celestial lights and
I felt that the spiritual lustre of the universe had come down
in a concentrated form in the shape of Bhagavan. I wanted
to see it closer and longer but I could not stand the powerful
glare and so I merely bowed and came home thinking all
the while that there must be some deep significance for that
deep meditative state of Bhagavan.
In the night after meals, and the subsequent short
discourse with Bhagavan at his bedside, Krishna Bhikshu
came to my place with a friend. When I enquired of Ashram
news, he said that Bhagavan had been deeply self-absorbed
with a radiant and distant look the whole evening, and that
there must be something great and unusual about it. We
wondered what it could be. Subsequently when we heard
the details of Echamma’s demise, we found that from 5 p.m.
onwards yesterday she was in the throes of death and that at
9 p.m. when the news was communicated to Bhagavan, all
her agony ceased and she had a peaceful end of her life.
Then we all thought that it was to release this great devotee
from her mortal state that Bhagavan had assumed that
superb radiant form the previous evening.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(16) THE FIRST BHIKSHA

Prev Next    30th December, 1945
One afternoon, during casual conversation, Bhagavan
got into a reminiscent mood and began telling us as follows:
“There used to be in Gopura Subrahmanyeswara
Temple, a Mouna Swami (a silent sadhu). One morning when
I was going about the Thousand-Pillared Mandapam, he
came with a friend. He was a Mouna Swami and so was I.

There was no talk, no greetings. It was soon midday. He
made signs to his friend to mean: “I do not know who this
boy is, but he appears to be tired; please get some food and
give it to him.” Accordingly they brought some. It was boiled
rice. Each grain was sized. There was sour water underneath.
There was a bit of pickle to go with it. That was the first
bhiksha given to me by Sri Arunachaleswara. Actually there is
not an iota of pleasure in what I eat now. All the meals and
sweets (pancha bhakshya paramanna) are nothing compared
to that food,” said Bhagavan. “Was it on the very first day of
Sri Bhagavan’s arrival in that place?” someone asked.
“No, no, the next day. Taking it as the first bhiksha given
me by Ishwara, I ate that rice and pickle and drank the water
given me. That happiness I can never forget,” remarked Sri
Bhagavan.
“I believe there is some other story about Sri Bhagavan
going to the town for the first time for bhiksha,” said one
devotee.
“Yes, there used to be one lady devotee. She very often
used to bring me some food or other. One day she arranged a
feast for all the sadhus and pressed me to dine along with them.
I signalled her to say that I would not do so and that I would be
going out begging. I had either to sit and eat with them all or
go out for bhiksha. Yes, it was God’s will, I thought, and started
out for bhiksha. That lady had doubts as to whether I would go
out for bhiksha or join the feast. She sent a man behind me. As
there was no escape I went to a house in the street to the left of
the temple and standing in front of it, clapped my hands. The
lady of the house saw me and, as she had already heard of me,
recognized me and called me in, saying, ‘Come in, my son,
come in.’ She fed me sumptuously saying, ‘My boy, I have lost a
son. When I see you, you seem just like him. Do come daily like
this, my boy.’ I subsequently learnt that her name was
Muthamma,” said Bhagavan.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(17) HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING?

Prev Next    31st December, 1945
During the first week of last month, on one morning, an
ignorant traveller came to the Ashram and, after staying here
for two or three days, and in accordance with the saying “satra
bhojanam matha nidra” (eating in choultries, sleeping in mutts)
went away to eat and stay elsewhere, but was all the same
coming here for some days enjoying the bliss of staying near
and having the darshan of Bhagavan. Before leaving this town
he approached Bhagavan one day with great hesitation and
said, in humble tones, “Swami, the people sitting here always
ask you something and you give them some replies. When
I see that, I also feel tempted to enquire, but I do not know
what to ask you. How then can I get mukti?”
Bhagavan, looking at him endearingly and smiling, said,
“How do you know that you do not know anything?” He said,
“After I came here and heard the questions asked by all these
people and the replies Bhagavan is pleased to give them, the
feeling that I do not know anything has come upon me.” “Then
it is all right. You have found out that you do not know
anything; that itself is enough. What more is required?” said
Bhagavan. “How to attain mukti by that much alone, Swami?”
said the questioner. “Why not? There is some one to know
that he does not know anything. It is sufficient if you could
enquire and find out who that someone is. Ego will develop if
one thinks that one knows everything. Instead of that, isn’t it
much better to be conscious of the fact that you do not know
anything and then enquire how you could gain moksha?”
He felt happy at that and went his way. That questioner
might or might not have understood the essence of that
Bhagawathvani (the voice of the Lord) but, for us people here,
those words were echoing in our heart of hearts like
mantraksharas (letters of the gospel).

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(18) LEOPARDS AND SNAKES

Prev Next    1st January, 1946
The other day I learnt of one more incident in
Bhagavan’s life on the hill and so I am writing to you about
it. When Bhagavan was living in Virupaksha Cave, the roar
of a leopard was heard from the place where drinking water
was available nearby. By the time the scared devotees had
gathered some plates and drums in order to make a noise
and drive the leopard away, it had drunk the water it
required and gone away with one more roar. Bhagavan
looked at those frightened devotees and said to them in an
admonishing tone, “Why do you worry so much? The
leopard intimated to me by the first roar that she was coming
here. After drinking water she told me by another roar
that she was going. She went her own way. She never
meddled with your affairs. Why are you so scared? This
mountain is the home of these wild animals, and we are
their guests. That being so, is it right on your part to drive
them away?” Perhaps with the intention of relieving them
of their fears, Bhagavan added, “A number of siddha purushas
(holy beings) live on this mountain. It is perhaps with a
desire to see me that they come and go, assuming various
shapes. Hence, you see it is not right for you to disturb
them.”
From that time onwards, the leopard used to come
frequently to that place to drink. Whenever the roar was
heard, Bhagavan used to say, “There you are! The leopard
is announcing her arrival.” Then again he used to say, “The
leopard announces her departure.” In this manner he used
to be quite at ease with all the wild animals.

One devotee asked Bhagavan whether it is true that,
when living on the mountain, he was friendly with snakes,
and one snake crawled over his body, one climbed up his leg
and so on. In reply, Sri Bhagavan said:
“Yes, it is true. A snake used to come to me in all
friendliness. It used to try to crawl on my leg. At its touch
my body used to feel as though it was tickled, so I withdrew
my leg; that is all. That snake used to come of its own accord
and go away.”

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(19) WON’T YOU PLEASE HEAR MY SPEECHLESS APPEAL?

Prev Next    2nd January, 1946
You have seen Jagadiswara Sastri, haven’t you? When
he was here, a dog used to go into the hall with him. It was a
particularly intelligent dog. When Sastri or his wife came
into Bhagavan’s hall, it used to come in and sit like a well-
behaved child and go out along with them. It was very keen
on living in the house. People did whatever they could to
prevent it entering the hall but it was no use.

Once the old couple entrusted it to somebody when they
went to Madras and did not return for 15 days. At first, during
the first four or five days, it used to search in the halls go
round the hall, and then go about all the places which they
used to frequent. Having got tired, perhaps disgusted, with
those fruitless efforts, one morning at about 10 o’clock it came
to Bhagavan’s sofa and stood there, staring fixedly at Bhagavan.
At that time I was sitting in the front row. Bhagavan was
reading the paper. Krishnaswami and others tried to send the
dog out by threats, but in vain. I too asked it to go out. No, it
wouldn’t move. Bhagavan’s attention was diverted by this
hubbub and he looked that way. Bhagavan observed for a
while the look of the dog and our excitement. He then put
the paper aside and, as if he had by his silence understood
the language of the dog, waved his hand towards it and said,
“Why, what is the matter? You are asking where your people
have gone? Oh, I see, I understand. They have gone to
Madras. They will be back in a week. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be
worried. Be calm. Is it all right? Now, go.”
Hardly had Bhagavan completed his instructions, when
the dog turned and left the place. Soon after that Bhagavan
remarked to me, “Do you see that? The dog is asking me
where its people have gone and when they are returning.
However much the people here tried to send it away it
wouldn’t move until I answered its questions.”
Once, it seems, the lady of the house punished the dog
with a cane for something it had done and locked it up in a
room for half a day. After it was let out, it came straight to
Bhagavan as if to complain against her and stayed at the
Ashram without going to their house for four or five days.
Bhagavan arranged to feed the dog and admonished the
lady thus: “What have you done to the dog? Why is it angry
with you? It came and complained to me. Why? What have
you done?” Finally she admitted her fault in Bhagavan’s
presence and, with a good deal of cajoling, got the dog to go
home.

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(20) A SQUIRREL

Prev Next    3rd January, 1946
Do you know how much liberty our brother squirrel
has with Bhagavan? Two or three years back, there used to
be one very active and mischievous fellow amongst the
squirrels. One day it so happened that when he came for
food, Bhagavan was reading and otherwise occupied and so
delayed a bit in giving him food. That mischievous fellow
would not eat anything unless Bhagavan himself held it to
his mouth. Perhaps because of his anger at the delay he
abruptly bit Bhagavan’s finger, but Bhagavan still did not
offer him food. Bhagavan was amused and said, “You are a
naughty creature! You have bit my finger! I will no longer
feed you. Go away!” So saying he stopped feeding the squirrel
for some days.

Would that fellow stay quiet? No, he began begging of
Bhagavan for forgiveness by crawling hither and thither.
Bhagavan put the nuts on the window sill and on the sofa
and told him to help himself. But no, he wouldn’t even touch
them. Bhagavan pretended to be indifferent and not to notice.
But he would crawl up to Bhagavan’s legs, jump on his body,
climb on his shoulders and do ever so many things to attract
attention. Then Bhagavan told us all, “Look, this fellow is
begging me to forgive him his mischief in biting my finger
and to give up my refusal to feed him with my own hands.”
He pushed the squirrel away for some days saying,
“Naughty creature! Why did you bite my finger? I won’t
feed you now. That is your punishment. Look, the nuts are
there. Eat them all.” The squirrel would not give up his
obstinacy either. Some days passed and Bhagavan had finally
to admit defeat because of his mercy towards devotees. It
then occurred to me that it was through pertinacity that
devotees attained salvation.
That squirrel did not stop at that. He gathered together
a number of his gang and began building a nest in the roof
of the hall exactly above the sofa. They began squeezing
into the beam bits of string, coconut fibre and the like.
Whenever there was wind, those things used to fall down; so
people got angry and began to drive them away. Bhagavan
however used to feel very grieved at the thought that there
was not sufficient room for the squirrels to build a nest and
that the people in the hall were driving them away. We have
only to see Bhagavan’s face on such occasions to understand
the depth of his love and affection for such beings.
When I told Bhagavan that I had written to you about
the squirrels in my usual letter, he remarked with evident
pleasure: “There is a big story about these squirrels. Some
time back they used to have a nest near the beam above me.
They had children and then grand children and thus the
members of their family grew very large. They used to play
about on this sofa in whatever way they liked. When I went
out for my usual walk, some little squirrels used to hide under
the pillow and when on my return, I reclined on the pillow,
they used to get crushed. We could not bear the sight of this,
and so Madhava drove the squirrels out of the nest and sealed
it by nailing some wooden boards over it. There are lots of
incidents about them if one cared to write them.”

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(20) A SQUIRREL

Prev Next    3rd January, 1946
Do you know how much liberty our brother squirrel
has with Bhagavan? Two or three years back, there used to
be one very active and mischievous fellow amongst the
squirrels. One day it so happened that when he came for
food, Bhagavan was reading and otherwise occupied and so
delayed a bit in giving him food. That mischievous fellow
would not eat anything unless Bhagavan himself held it to
his mouth. Perhaps because of his anger at the delay he
abruptly bit Bhagavan’s finger, but Bhagavan still did not
offer him food. Bhagavan was amused and said, “You are a
naughty creature! You have bit my finger! I will no longer
feed you. Go away!” So saying he stopped feeding the squirrel
for some days.

Would that fellow stay quiet? No, he began begging of
Bhagavan for forgiveness by crawling hither and thither.
Bhagavan put the nuts on the window sill and on the sofa
and told him to help himself. But no, he wouldn’t even touch
them. Bhagavan pretended to be indifferent and not to notice.
But he would crawl up to Bhagavan’s legs, jump on his body,
climb on his shoulders and do ever so many things to attract
attention. Then Bhagavan told us all, “Look, this fellow is
begging me to forgive him his mischief in biting my finger
and to give up my refusal to feed him with my own hands.”
He pushed the squirrel away for some days saying,
“Naughty creature! Why did you bite my finger? I won’t
feed you now. That is your punishment. Look, the nuts are
there. Eat them all.” The squirrel would not give up his
obstinacy either. Some days passed and Bhagavan had finally
to admit defeat because of his mercy towards devotees. It
then occurred to me that it was through pertinacity that
devotees attained salvation.
That squirrel did not stop at that. He gathered together
a number of his gang and began building a nest in the roof
of the hall exactly above the sofa. They began squeezing
into the beam bits of string, coconut fibre and the like.
Whenever there was wind, those things used to fall down; so
people got angry and began to drive them away. Bhagavan
however used to feel very grieved at the thought that there
was not sufficient room for the squirrels to build a nest and
that the people in the hall were driving them away. We have
only to see Bhagavan’s face on such occasions to understand
the depth of his love and affection for such beings.
When I told Bhagavan that I had written to you about
the squirrels in my usual letter, he remarked with evident
pleasure: “There is a big story about these squirrels. Some
time back they used to have a nest near the beam above me.
They had children and then grand children and thus the
members of their family grew very large. They used to play
about on this sofa in whatever way they liked. When I went
out for my usual walk, some little squirrels used to hide under
the pillow and when on my return, I reclined on the pillow,
they used to get crushed. We could not bear the sight of this,
and so Madhava drove the squirrels out of the nest and sealed
it by nailing some wooden boards over it. There are lots of
incidents about them if one cared to write them.”

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

(21) DHARMA IS DIFFERENT FROM DHARMA–SUKSHMA

Prev Next    4th January, 1946
People occasionally bring to Bhagavan prasad consisting
of Vibhuti (holy ashes) and Kumkum (vermilion) from various
places such as Tiruchendur, Madurai and Rameswaram.

Bhagavan accepts it with the greatest reverence saying,
“Look, Subrahmanya from Tiruchendur has come. See there,
Meenakshi from Madurai has come. Here is Ramalingeswara
from Rameswaram. Here is this God, there is that God.”
Others bring holy water saying, “This is from the Ganga,
that is from the Gouthami, this is from the Cauvery, that is
from the Krishna.” Whenever such water is brought in
Bhagavan accepts it, saying, “Here is Mother Ganga, there
is Gouthami, this is the Cauvery and that is Krishnaveni.”
At first this used to puzzle me. When Ramana himself
is the embodiment of that Eternal Being, who is the origin
of all thirthas (holy waters) and who is shining in his abode as
himself, how foolish of these people to bring him prasad of
water from thirthas as if they had done a great thing! Are
they mad? I wondered!
Sometime back someone brought sea water (sagara
thirtha). Bhagavan accepted it saying, “Upto now all the rivers
have come to me, but not the sagara, the ocean. This is the
first time it has come. That is very good. Give it here.”
When I heard that, I suddenly remembered all the
ancient lore where it is stated that all thirthas (rivers), samudras
(seas) and devatas go to such Sages as Ramana to pay respects
to their lotus feet. I then used to feel that they were all
hyperboles because stones and waters cannot walk to the
places where great people live. But now, what I find is that
without anybody desiring it, all these holy waters, holy ashes
and the like are brought by bhaktas and Bhagavan accepts
them, saying, “They have come.” I could now see from
incidents that occur in the immediate presence of the
Mahatmas that one should read the inner meaning of things
carefully. If that is done, it becomes clear that dharma is one
thing and dharma-sukshma (the underlying principle of
dharma) is another.
Since Bhagavan accepts all these waters with evident
pleasure, it should be interpreted as his accepting the service
of all thirthas and prasadas. This inner meaning occurred to
me when sagara thirtha, i.e., holy water from the sea, was
brought in. You remember that when he was living in a cave
Bhagavan said when a leopard came, “Many who belong to
the class of siddhas (realised souls) come to see me in different
forms.”

 (My humble salutations to Swamyjis , Philosophic Scholars, Knowledge seekers for the collection)