Day by Day with Bhagavan - Part 8

Day by Day with Bhagavan

In the evening the Senior Maharani of Baroda arrived to

stay for a few days with Mrs. Taleyarkhan.

20-6-46

G. Mehta: If I am not the body am I responsible for the

consequences of my good and bad actions?

Bhagavan: If you are not the body and do not have the

idea ‘I-am-the-doer’ the consequences of your good or bad

actions will not affect you. Why do you say about the actions

the body performs “I do this” or “I did that”? As long as you

identify yourself with the body like that you are affected by the

consequences of the actions and you have merit and demerit.

G. Mehta: Then I am not responsible for the

consequences of good or bad actions?

Bhagavan: If you are not, why do you bother about the

question?

G. Mehta: Then does that mean that if one has not the

sense of ‘I do this’ or ‘I am the doer’ one need not do anything

at all?

Bhagavan: The question of doing only arises if you are

the body.

This Mehta tells me that he has been in Africa for the

past 20 years, visiting India from time to time. He comes from

Ahmedabad. For the last six years he has not been able to

come owing to the war. Early this year he received a letter

from the Asramam that he would be able to come this year

and it turned out so in spite of great difficulties.

Sri Krishniah Chowdhuri arrived today. Bhagavan told me:

“It seems he is writing my life in Telugu and has finished two

chapters. He said he would read them to me this afternoon.”

He came at three and read till about a quarter past four

and then said he would finish tomorrow. It was written in the

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life that Bhagavan went to Tiruchuzhi on receiving news of his

father’s death, but Bhagavan said that in fact he went there four

or five days before his father’s death. He got news that his father

was dangerously ill and went to Tiruchuzhi at once and his

father died only four or five days later. The error arose as this

was not clear in the Telugu Ramana Lila on which Chowdhuri

was basing his life.

24-6-46

Lokamma sang Muruganar’s benediction from Sarana

Pallandu; when she finished Bhagavan said, “The last song

she sang can be translated for them,” meaning the Maharani

of Baroda and Mrs. Taleyarkhan. I accordingly gave the

meaning of it: “May all those devotees with great love also

live long, who, coming to Ramana, get their desires fulfilled

and, planting his feet in their heart, set all their troubles at

rest and attain peace.”

Explaining why he wanted me to translate it, Bhagavan

said, “Yesterday Mrs. Taleyarkhan asked me to have the best

poem about me by Muruganar read out in the hall and

translated for her and the Maharani. Sundaresa Aiyar

suggested the benediction in Tamil, but I thought that

‘YiÓ®ÓçÕ*’ and the reply of the bee in particular would

be more appropriate, so we read them out and translated them.

And now Lokamma sang the benediction, and when she sang

the last stanza it occurred to me that they would like to hear it

and it might be a consolation to them.”

Just then Muruganar walked in after an absence of two

or three months and prostrated himself to Bhagavan. Bhagavan

remarked: “We were talking about him and his ‘Benediction’

and here he comes.”

* A song in which the bee is sent as a messenger.

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I asked him which of the poems in his Ramana Sannidhi

Murai he liked best, but he could not say. I told him that I

liked Arunai Ramanesan best and proceeded to sing

‘RgNùU]j Rôs úNokRôo’ from it, and Bhagavan asked

me to translate that also for the Maharani, so I did. The gist of

it is that Ramana bears upon his head, because it is his fate,

the burdens of all those who throw themselves at his feet and

regard him as their sole refuge, that peace comes naturally to

all those who live with him, that whatever dangers may

threaten his devotees they need have no fear, and that Bhagavan

had saved him, Muruganar, bidding him not to fear.

In the afternoon, when Muruganar came into the hall,

Bhagavan explained to him why the last song in The

Benediction was translated and also added, “When I was

coming back from my walk the Maharani met me and

requested, ‘When next I come here I should like to come with

my husband to your feet.’ He is now in England and they had

news that he is not well, so I thought it would be comforting

to them to hear that last stanza in the Benediction translated.”

Muruganar did not remember it, so Bhagavan took out the

book and read it to him.

In the evening Mrs. Taleyarkhan told Bhagavan, “When

the Maharani left she was very sorry to have to go. She told

me that the five days she spent here have been the happiest

days in her life.”

26-6-46

T.P.R. told Bhagavan that he took only kanji (gruel) for

lunch, as he had dysentery. Bhagavan spoke highly of the efficacy

of a gruel made of rice, dried ginger, coriander and rock salt

(induppu) and added: “It seems they are going to give us all kanji

(gruel) tomorrow morning. I am told Sama Thatha is going to

prepare it. Somebody must have asked him to. People do not

realize how wholesome kanji is and how tasty.” Bhagavan was

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then reminded of old Keerai Patti, who used to gather all kinds

of green vegetables and cook them somehow, although she was

half-blind. It seems Bhagavan would thoroughly enjoy it. “In

those days we would make kanji (gruel) and one aviyal with all

the vegetables we had on hand. None of the fine dishes they

make here now can equal the simple fare we enjoyed then. People

do not realize the enjoyment of such a meal.” Bhagavan went on

to say, “People don’t know how a poor man appreciates his food,

simple though it often is. He comes home terribly hungry after a

day’s hard work in the field or elsewhere, and then when he sits

down for his meal, down goes one huge fistful after another until

it looks as though he would swallow the plate as well. Your rich

man sits down to a meal with all sorts of delicacies served on

fine plates before him and nibbles or sips at one thing after another

but relishes nothing and has no sort of satisfaction from all the

luxury spread before him. Even after we came down here we

still used to make kanji. At first there were a lot of men working

on the premises, clearing it of cactus and levelling it, and we

used to prepare a midday meal for them in addition to their wages.

For them and us together we used to prepare only two dishes; a

huge pot of kanji and another of all the vegetables we happened

to have on hand. You can imagine the quantity when I tell you

that the ladle we stirred it with was the branch of a tree. In those

days I used to do all the grinding for the cooking. Once I made

uppuma out of ‘¸ûWjRiÓ’ (keeraithandu). Somebody had

brought a whole sack of ‘¸ûWjRiÓ’ and we cut the whole

lot up into small bits. There were seven or eight measures of it. I

added one measure of ‘WûY’ (ravai) to it and boiled the whole

lot well and made uppuma out of it. Everyone enjoyed it as

uppuma made of ravai, but when I told them how it was really

made, they were not so pleased. People always like something

expensive.”

When the Mauni brought the mail today he was limping

with a pain in his right thigh. Bhagavan advised him to rub

some liniment on it and told the attendant to give him some.

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Bhagavan’s small bottle for constant use was empty, so

Bhagavan told the attendant to take the big bottle from the

cupboard. Bhagavan told Vaikunta Vasar to take a small bottle

of it to Mauni and see that he used it. When the large bottle

was taken out of the cupboard Bhagavan noticed that it was

not full, so he turned to Khanna, who had bought it for him,

and said: “It looks as though you bought this for yourself or

your children and then gave it to me when you saw what a

state I am in. And perhaps the Chavanaprash you gave me

was also bought for you or your children.”

Khanna assured Bhagavan that the liniment was not

needed for himself or his family but had been bought specially

for Bhagavan, and he explained that the reason why the bottle

was not full was that he had bought it in several smaller bottles

and transferred it to this large one.

A little later he handed Bhagavan a piece of paper on

which he had written something. After reading it, Bhagavan

said: “It is a complaint. He says: ‘I have been coming to you

and this time I have remained nearly a month at your feet and

I find no improvement at all in my condition. My vasanas are

as strong as ever. When I go back my friends will laugh at me

and ask what good my stay here has done me’.”

Then, turning to Khanna, Bhagavan said, “Why distress

your mind by thinking that jnana has not come or that the

vasanas have not disappeared? Don’t give room for thoughts.

In the last stanza of Sukavari by Thayumanavar, the Saint

says much the same as is written on this paper.” And Bhagavan

made me read the stanza and translate it into English for the

benefit of those who do not know Tamil. It goes: “The mind

mocks me and though I tell you ten thousand times you are

indifferent, so how am I to attain peace and bliss?”

Then I said to Khanna, “You are not the only one who

complains to Bhagavan like this. I have more than once

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complained in the same way, and I still do, for I find no

improvement in myself.”

Khanna replied, “It is not only that I find no improvement

but I think I have grown worse. The vasanas are stronger now.

I can’t understand it.”

Bhagavan again quoted the last three stanzas of

Mandalathin of Thayumanavar, where the mind is coaxed as

the most generous and disinterested of givers, to go back to its

birthplace or source and thus give the devotee peace and bliss,

and he asked me to read out a translation of it that I once made.

Khanna then asked, “The illumination plus mind is jivatma

and the illumination alone is paramatma; is that right?”

Bhagavan assented and then pointed to his towel and

said, “We call this a white cloth, but the cloth and its whiteness

cannot be separated, and it is the same with the illumination

and the mind that unite to form the ego.” Then he added: “The

following illustration that is often given in books will also

help you. The lamp in the theatre is the Parabrahman or the

illumination, as you put it. It illumines itself and the stage

and actors. We see the stage and the actors by its light, but its

light still continues when there is no more play. Another

illustration is an iron rod that is compared to the mind. Fire

joins it and it becomes red-hot. It glows and can burn things,

like fire, but still it has a definite shape, unlike fire. If we

hammer it, it is the rod that receives the blows, not the fire.

The rod is the jivatma and the fire the Self or Paramatma.”

27-6-46

In the afternoon, T.V.K. Aiyar, who had with him our

library copy of Tiruvoimozhi with commentary, asked

Bhagavan whether we had any better commentary than that.

Bhagavan replied that we had not and added, “All sorts of

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learned commentaries are written on the Nalayira Prabandam

in the conventional Vaishnavite language, twisting the texts

that are clearly Advaitic into some laboured Dvaitic meaning.

In the old days some Vaishnavites used to come to me, and

when they were wearing the ‘U’ mark they would put it on

me also, and when they were wearing the ‘Y’ mark they would

put that on me, and then they would prostrate themselves

before me. I used to let them do what they liked with me.”

T.V.K. then told Bhagavan, “Recently a man of the thengalai

school who is well versed in the esoteric meaning of Vaishnavite

literature initiated me and gave me samasanam and sama asrayam

and taught me their esoteric meaning. He gives discourses and

does good work among the poor, but he would not admit

vadakalais to his discourses; according to the Vaishnavite teaching

one must do kainkaryam or service to God.”

Bhagavan replied rather sarcastically: “So God can’t get

on without their services? On the contrary, God asks: ‘Who

are you to do service to Me?’ He is always saying: ‘I am within

you; who are you?’ One must try to realize that and not speak

of service. Submission or surrender is the basic teaching of

Vaishnavism, but it does not consist in paying a Guru a fee for

initiation and telling him that you have surrendered. As often

as one tries to surrender, the ego raises its head and one has to

try to suppress it. Surrender is not an easy thing. Killing the

ego is not an easy thing. It is only when God Himself by His

grace draws the mind inwards that complete surrender can be

achieved. But such grace comes only to those who have

already, in this or previous lives, gone through all the struggles

and sadhanas preparatory to the extinction of the mind and

killing of the ego.”

Bhagavan added, “In the old days these Vaishnavites used

to come and advise me to undergo a samasanam but I used to

keep silent.”

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Bhagavan continued to speak of the Dvaitism of the

Vaishnavites and quoted the Nammalvar song beginning ‘Vôú]

Fu{ @±V¡XôúR’ the gist of which is: “not knowing myself,

I went about saying ‘I’ and ‘mine’. Then I discovered that ‘I’

was ‘You’ and ‘mine’ was ‘Yours’, oh God.” He said: “This is

clear Advaita, but these Vaishnavites would give it some

interpretation to make it accord with their feeling of duality.

They hold that they must exist and God must exist, but how is

that possible? It seems that they must all remain for ever doing

service in Vaikunta, but how many of them are to do service

and where would there be room for all these Vaishnavites?”

Bhagavan said this laughing, and then, after a pause, he

added, “On the other hand, Advaita does not mean that a man

must always sit in samadhi and never engage in action. Many

things are necessary to keep up the life of the body, and action

can never be avoided. Nor is bhakti ruled out in Advaita.

Shankara is rightly regarded as the foremost exponent of

Advaita, and yet look at the number of shrines he visited

(action), and the devotional songs he wrote.”

Bhagavan then gave further quotations from the eighth

decad of Tiruvoimozhi to show that some of Vaishnavite Alwars

had clearly endorsed Advaita. He particularly emphasised the

third stanza where it says: “I was lost in Him or in That” and

the fifth, which is very like the Thiruvachagam stanza that says

the ego got attenuated more and more and was extinguished in

the Self.

Later a visitor asked whether Bhagavan had ever thought

of making a tour all round India or would consider such

a proposal.

Bhagavan: I have never had any such idea, though several

devotees have proposed it. Rajeswarananda once said he would

arrange for a special train to take me all over India. But what

is the use of my going anywhere? I am not able to see anything.

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(I took this to refer to Bhagavan’s seeing only the Self in

everything). They say I must go and give darshan to all the

people in those parts who may not be able to come here, but

even if I went, who would take any notice of a beggar going

about clad only in a loin-cloth? Or should I go with a label on

my forehead or a card hung round my neck saying: ‘Here

goes a Maharshi’? Or I should have to take a big retinue who

would go about proclaiming: ‘Here comes our great Ramana

Maharshi’. Besides, out of all the millions of people, to how

many should I be able to give darshan?

Again at about seven o’clock in the evening, when I went

into the hall, Bhagavan returned to the subject, saying: “People

come here to give darshan to me, so why should I go to give

darshan to them? If I yielded to the importunity of some

devotee and went to some place when he asked me I should

have to go to every place that every other devotee asked me to

and there would be no end to my trouble.”

28-6-46

In the afternoon Khanna’s wife appealed to Bhagavan in

writing: “I am not learned in the scriptures and I find the

method of Self-enquiry too hard for me. I am a woman with

seven children and a lot of household cares, and it leaves me

little time for meditation. I request Bhagavan to give me some

simpler and easier method.”

Bhagavan: No learning or knowledge of scriptures is

necessary to know the Self, as no man requires a mirror to see

himself. All knowledge is required only to be given up eventually

as not-Self. Nor is household work or cares with children

necessarily an obstacle. If you can do nothing more, at least

continue saying ‘I, I’ to yourself mentally all the time, as advised

in Who am I?, whatever work you may be doing and whether

you are sitting, standing or walking. ‘I’ is the name of God. It is

the first and greatest of all mantras. Even OM is second to it.

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Khanna: The jiva is said to be mind plus illumination.

What is it that desires Self-realization and what is it that

obstructs our path to Self-realization? It is said that the mind

obstructs and the illumination helps.

Bhagavan: Although we describe the jiva as mind plus

the reflected light of the Self, in actual practice, in life, you

cannot separate the two, just as, in the illustrations we used

yesterday, you can’t separate cloth and whiteness in a white

cloth or fire and iron in a red-hot rod. The mind can do nothing

by itself. It emerges only with the illumination and can do no

action, good or bad, except with the illumination. But while

the illumination is always there, enabling the mind to act well

or ill, the pleasure or pain resulting from such action is not

felt by the illumination, just as when you hammer a red-hot

rod it is not the fire but the iron that gets the hammering.

Khanna: Is there destiny? And if what is destined to

happen will happen is there any use in prayer or effort or

should we just remain idle?

Bhagavan: There are only two ways to conquer destiny

or be independent of it. One is to enquire for whom is this

destiny and discover that only the ego is bound by destiny and

not the Self, and that the ego is non-existent. The other way is

to kill the ego by completely surrendering to the Lord, by

realizing one’s helplessness and saying all the time: ‘Not I but

Thou, oh Lord!’, and giving up all sense of ‘I’ and ‘mine’ and

leaving it to the Lord to do what he likes with you. Surrender

can never be regarded as complete so long as the devotee wants

this or that from the Lord. True surrender is love of God for the

sake of love and nothing else, not even for the sake of salvation.

In other words, complete effacement of the ego is necessary to

conquer destiny, whether you achieve this effacement through

Self-enquiry or through bhakti-marga.

Khanna: Are our prayers granted?

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Bhagavan: Yes, they are granted. No thought will go in

vain. Every thought will produce its effect some time or other.

Thought-force will never go in vain.

2-7-46

This evening after parayana, Venkatramaiyar came and

told Bhagavan: “It seems that Mrs. Taleyarkhan and her guest,

a cousin of Sir Mirza of Mysore, were sitting on the Hill,

talking about Bhagavan and the Hill, and Mrs. Taleyarkhan

said: ‘Bhagavan is a walking God and all our prayers are

answered. That is my experience. Bhagavan says this Hill is God

Himself. I cannot understand all that, but Bhagavan says so, so I

believe it.’ Thereupon her friend replied: ‘I would take it as a

sign, according to our Persian beliefs, if it would rain.’ Almost

immediately there was a shower and they came to me drenched

and told me about it.”

3-7-46

A visitor said: I am told that according to your school I

must find out the source of my thoughts. How am I to do it?’

Bhagavan: I have no school; however, it is true that one

should trace the source of all thoughts.

Visitor: Suppose I have the thought ‘horse’ and try to trace

its source; I find that it is due to memory and the memory in its

turn is due to prior perception of the object ‘horse’, but that is all.

Bhagavan: Who asked you to think about all that? All those

are also thoughts. What good will it do you to go on thinking

about memory and perception? It will be endless, like the old

dispute, which came first, the tree or the seed. Ask who has this

perception and memory. That ‘I’ that has the perception and

memory, whence does it arise? Find out that. Because perception

or memory or any other experience only comes to that ‘I’. You

don’t have such experiences during sleep, and yet you say that

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you existed during sleep. And you exist now too. That shows

that the ‘I’ continues while other things come and go.

Visitor: I am asked to find out the source of ‘I’, and in

fact that is what I want to find out, but how can I? What is the

source from which I came?

Bhagavan: You came from the same source in which you

were during sleep. Only during sleep you couldn’t know where

you entered; that is why you must make the enquiry while waking.

Some of us advised the visitor to read Who am I? and

Ramana Gita and Bhagavan also told him he might do so. He

did so during the day and in the evening he said to Bhagavan:

“Those books prescribe Self-enquiry, but how is one to do it?”

Bhagavan: That also must be described in the books.

Visitor: Am I to concentrate on the thought ‘Who am I?’

Bhagavan: It means you must concentrate to see where

the I-thought arises. Instead of looking outwards, look inwards

and see where the I-thought arises.

Visitor: And Bhagavan says that if I see that, I shall realise

the Self?

Bhagavan: There is no such thing as realising the Self.

How is one to realise or make real what is real? People all

realise, or regard as real, what is unreal, and all they have to

do is to give that up. When you do that you will remain as you

always are and the Real will be Real. It is only to help people

give up regarding the unreal as real that all the religions and

the practices taught by them have come into being.

Visitor: Whence comes birth?

Bhagavan: For whom is birth?

Visitor: The Upanishads say “He who knows Brahman

becomes Brahman.”

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Bhagavan: It is not a matter of becoming but being.

Visitor: Are the siddhis mentioned in Patanjali’s sutras

true or only his dream?

Bhagavan: He who is Brahman or the Self will not value

those siddhis. Patanjali himself says that they are all exercised

with the mind and that they impede Self-realisation.

Visitor: What about the powers of supermen?

Bhagavan: Whether powers are high or low, whether of

the mind or super-mind, they exist only with reference to him

who has the powers; find out who that is.

Visitor: When one attains Self-realisation, what is the

guarantee that one has really attained it and is not under an

illusion like the lunatic who thinks he is Napoleon or some

such thing?

Bhagavan: In a sense, speaking of Self-realisation is a

delusion. It is only because people have been under the delusion

that the non-Self is the Self and the unreal the Real that they have

to be weaned out of it by the other delusion called Self-realisation;

because actually the Self always is the Self and there is no such

thing as realising it. Who is to realise what, and how, when all

that exists is the Self and nothing but the Self?

Visitor: Sri Aurobindo says the world is real and you

and the Vedantins say it is unreal. How can the world be unreal?

Bhagavan: The Vedantins do not say the world is unreal.

That is a misunderstanding. If they did, what would be the

meaning of the Vedantic text: “All this is Brahman”? They

only mean that the world is unreal as world, but it is real as

Self. If you regard the world as not-Self it is not real.

Everything, whether you call it world or maya or lila or sakti,

must be within the Self and not apart from it. There can be

no sakti apart from the sakta.

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Visitor: Different teachers have set up different schools

and proclaimed different truths and so confused people. Why?

Bhagavan: They have all taught the same truth but from

different standpoints. Such differences were necessary to meet

the needs of different minds differently constituted, but they

all reveal the same Truth.

Visitor: Since they have recommended different paths

which is one to follow?

Bhagavan: You speak of paths as if you were somewhere

and the Self somewhere else and you had to go and reach it.

But in fact the Self is here and now and you are that always. It

is like you being here and asking people the way to

Ramanasramam and complaining that each one shows a

different path and asking which to follow.

Nagamma has been keeping a record of interesting events

that she writes to her brother, D.S. Sastri, at Madras in the

form of letters. This was placed before Bhagavan and he

looked through it and suggested that she should paste a list of

contents on the cover. One of the extracts referred to squirrels

and this led Bhagavan to start speaking about them.

“There was once a regular war between the people here

and the squirrels for a whole month. They used to build their

nests over my head. Each day the people would destroy them

and the next day the squirrels would have built them again. At

last all the holes in the roof were stopped up and the squirrels

could do nothing. At one time they used to run all over my

couch and get into the sides and under the pillows and

everywhere, and I had to look carefully before I sat down or

leaned back. It has sometimes happened that I have accidentally

leaned heavily on some small squirrel and given it samadhi

without knowing. The same thing sometimes happened on the

Hill too, at Skandasramam. There too the squirrels used to nestle

in my mattress and pillows. It began even before that. Even

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when I was at Gurumoortham birds and squirrels used to build

their nests all round me. There is a bird that builds its nest of

mud. Once while I was there such a nest was built and after the

birds had left it squirrels occupied it.”

12-7-46

On the 8th news had come of the death of Madhava Swami

and Bhagavan had spoken a good deal about it. In the evening

Kunjuswami left for Kumbakonam, where the death took place,

and this morning he returned. He said: “It seems that about 20

days before his death Madhava Swami left Kumbakonam saying

he was coming here, but actually he took a ticket to Palni. After

staying there he seems to have gone to Palghat and to his home

village. Then he went to Trichy and stayed a few days with our

Tirumala Chetty and from there returned to Kumbakonam about

a week before his death. It seems that the whole of this week he

was saying: ‘Wherever I go I feel wretched. I don’t feel at ease

anywhere. If I go to Ramanasramam they may not allow me

there, but after having had the privilege of serving Bhagavan for

so long I can no longer bear the burden of this body anywhere

else. I must throw it off.” It seems that this thought was constantly

with him and he went about moody and morose. The day before

he died he was complaining of indigestion, but for a whole week

his digestion had not been good.”

Bhagavan asked what gave him indigestion.

Kunju Swami said, “It seems to have been due to eating a

mango. They never agreed with him. At about four on Sunday

afternoon, the 7th, he was offered some lunch but refused it

and asked for a bottle of soda-water. Soon after that he perspired

all over and left his body, sitting in the padmasana posture.”

When the post arrived it brought a letter with news of the

death of L. Sarma’s first daughter-in-law. This led Bhagavan to

speak of death. He said: “The dead are fortunate. It is only those

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who are left behind who feel miserable. It is our constant concern

to bear the burden of this body and look after its needs. Day in,

day out, this is our occupation — bathing, eating, massaging our

legs, and so on — no end to it. When we die it takes four persons

to carry this body and yet we carry it about constantly without

even stopping to think that we are doing so. We can easily lift a

heavy stone under water, but as soon as we take it out we find

how heavy it is, and in the same way we don’t feel the weight of

the body as long as a chaitanya or life force permeates it.

“Deathlessness is our real nature, and we falsely ascribe

it to the body, imagining that it will live for ever and losing

sight of what is really immortal, simply because we identify

ourselves with the body. It says in the Upanishads that the

jnani looks forward eagerly to the time when he can throw

off the body, just as a labourer carrying a heavy load looks

forward to reaching his destination and laying it down.”

16-7-46

Some of the Khairagarh party came and asked leave of

Bhagavan to go to Skandasramam. I told Bhagavan that yesterday

Venkatramaiyar and I went with the Rani and Kamakshi and

when we were at Virupakshi Cave, Venkatramaiyar told us that

if anyone sits there quietly by himself and listens, he hears the

sound ‘OM’. I asked him whether he had ever heard it and he

said that he had not yet had the chance to try. So I now ask

Bhagavan whether it is true.

Bhagavan only said: “They say so.”

I asked: “But did Bhagavan hear it?” And then I corrected

myself and added: “But it is no use asking, because Bhagavan

would hear OM or the Pranava sound everywhere, and it

would not be due to the place if Bhagavan heard it there.”

Thereupon Bhagavan said: “Why don’t you go and find

out for yourself?”

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“Yes,” I said, “I want to go and see. If a dunce like me

has the experience then there can be no doubt that it is due to

the influence of the place.”

After a while Bhagavan added, “It is generally said that

not only is the cave in the shape of OM but the sound OM is

heard there. Suddhananda Bharati mentions it in his Ramana

Vijayam. He ought to know because he lived there.” So saying,

Bhagavan took the book and showed me the relevant passage

in Chapter 24, entitled Guhan.

A visitor asked Bhagavan what one should do for the

betterment of atma.

Bhagavan: What do you mean by atma and by betterment?

Visitor: We don’t know all that; that is why we come here.

Bhagavan: The Self or atma is always as it is. There is no

such thing as attaining it. All that is necessary is to give up

regarding the not-Self as Self and the unreal as Real. When we

give up identifying ourselves with the body the Self alone remains.

Visitor: But how is one to give up this identification? Will

coming here and getting our doubts removed help in the process?

Bhagavan: Questions are always about things that you

don’t know and will be endless unless you find out who the

questioner is. Though the things about which the questions

are asked are unknown, there can be no doubt that a questioner

exists to ask the questions, and if you ask who he is, all doubts

will be set at rest.

Visitor: All that I want to know is whether sat sang is

necessary and whether my coming here will help me or not.

Bhagavan: First you must decide what is sat sang. It

means association with sat or Reality. One who knows or has

realized sat is also regarded as sat. Such association with sat

or with one who knows sat is absolutely necessary for all.

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Sankara has said (Bhagavan here quoted the Sanskrit verse)

that in all the three worlds there is no boat like sat sang t`o

carry one safely across the ocean of births and deaths.

17-7-46

This morning Bhagavan was speaking about a letter from

Mr. Pande, Principal of a college at Khatmandu, telling about

an incident that Mr. Pande has already described in the

Souvenir volume. A.N. Rao and I wanted to see it, so Bhagavan

asked for the letter to be shown to us. This is the incident:

Pande went to the great temple in Tiruvannamalai on the

evening of his departure. When he entered the innermost shrine

the lingam of Arunachalam was pointed out to him, and the

young man who was with him, also a devotee of Bhagavan,

cried out: ‘Arunachala! Arunachala!’; but Pande could not see

any lingam but only the face of Bhagavan whichever side he

turned — everywhere the face of Bhagavan!

18-7-46

This morning questions were put by a visitor, by name

S.P. Tayal.

S.P. Tayal: I have been doing sadhana for nearly 20 years

and I can see no progress. What should I do?

Bhagavan: I may be able to say something if I know

what the sadhana is.

S.P. Tayal: From about 5 o’clock every morning I

concentrate on the thought that the Self alone is real and all

else unreal. Although I have been doing this for about 20 years

I cannot concentrate for more than two or three minutes

without my thoughts wandering.

Bhagavan: There is no other way to succeed than to draw

the mind back every time it turns outwards and fix it in the Self.

There is no need for meditation or mantra or japa or dhyana or

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anything of the sort, because these are our real nature. All that is

needed is to give up thinking of objects other than the Self.

Meditation is not so much thinking of the Self as giving up

thinking of the not-Self. When you give up thinking of outward

objects and prevent your mind from going outwards and turn it

inward and fix it in the Self, the Self alone will remain.

S.P. Tayal: What should I do to overcome the pull of

these thoughts and desires? How should I regulate my life so

as to attain control over my thoughts?

Bhagavan: The more you get fixed in the Self, the more

other thoughts will drop off by themselves. The mind is

nothing but a bundle of thoughts, and the I-thought is the root

of all of them. When you see who this ‘I’ is and whence it

proceeds all thoughts get merged in the Self.

Regulation of life, such as getting up at a fixed hour,

bathing, doing mantra, japa, etc., observing ritual, all this is

for people who do not feel drawn to Self-enquiry or are not

capable of it. But for those who can practise this method all

rules and discipline are unnecessary.

At this point K.M. Jivrajani interposed, “Has one

necessarily to pass through the stage of seeing occult visions

before attaining Self-realization?”

Bhagavan: Why do you bother about visions and whether

they come or not?

K.M. Jivrajani: I don’t. I only want to know so that I

shan’t be disappointed if I don’t have them.

Bhagavan: Visions are not a necessary stage. To some

they come and to others they don’t, but whether they come or

not you always exist and you must stick to that.

K.M. Jivrajani: I sometimes concentrate on the brain

centre and sometimes on the heart — not always on the same

centre. Is that wrong?

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Bhagavan: Wherever you concentrate and on whatever

centre there must be a you to concentrate, and that is what you

must concentrate on. Different people concentrate on different

centres, not only the brain and the heart but also the space

between the eyebrows, the tip of the nose, the tip of the tongue,

the lowermost chakra and even external objects. Such

concentration may lead to a sort of laya in which you will feel

a certain bliss, but care must be taken not to lose the thought ‘I

Am’ in all this. You never cease to exist in all these experiences.

K.M. Jivrajani: That is to say that I must be a witness?

Bhagavan: Talking of the ‘witness’ should not lead to

the idea that there is a witness and something else apart from

him that he is witnessing. The ‘witness’ really means the light

that illumines the seer, the seen and the process of seeing.

Before, during and after the triads of seer, seen and seeing,

the illumination exists. It alone exists always.

K.M. Jivrajani: It is said in books that one should

cultivate all the good or daivic qualities in order to prepare

oneself for Self-realisation.

Bhagavan: All good or daivic qualities are included in

jnana and all bad asuric qualities are included in ajnana. When

jnana comes all ajnana goes and all daivic qualities come

automatically. If a man is a jnani he cannot utter a lie or do

anything wrong. It is, no doubt, said in some books that one

should cultivate one quality after another and thus prepare

for ultimate moksha, but for those who follow the jnana or

vichara marga their sadhana is itself quite enough for

acquiring all daivic qualities; they need not do anything else.

19-7-46

Again today a visitor put questions: I do not understand

how to make the enquiry ‘Who am I?’

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Bhagavan: Find out whence the ‘I’ arises. Self-enquiry

does not mean argument or reasoning such as goes on when

you say, “I am not this body, I am not the senses,” etc.: all that

may also help but it is not the enquiry. Watch and find out

where in the body the ‘I’ arises and fix your mind on that.

Visitor: Will gayatri help?

Bhagavan: What is gayatri? It really means: “Let me

concentrate on that which illumines all.” Dhyana really means

only concentrating or fixing the mind on the object of dhyana.

But meditation is our real nature. If we give up other thoughts

what remains is ‘I’ and its nature is dhyana or meditation or

jnana, whichever we choose to call it. What is at one time the

means later becomes the end; unless meditation or dhyana

were the nature of the Self it could not take you to the Self. If

the means were not of the nature of the goal, it could not

bring you to the goal.

20-7-46

In the afternoon Sundaresa Aiyar told Bhagavan that his

daughter-in-law (Narayanaswami Aiyar’s daughter) had severe

labour pains and finally could bear it no longer and cried out:

“Ramana! I cannot bear it!”; and immediately the delivery

took place. Bhagavan merely said: “Is that so?”

21-7-46

In the afternoon the following two questions were put

by Mr. Bhargava, an elderly visitor from Jhansi in U.P.:

(1) How am I to search for the ‘I’ from start to finish?

(2) When I meditate I reach a stage where there is a

vacuum or void. How should I proceed from there?

Bhagavan: Never mind whether there are visions or sounds

or anything else or whether there is a void. Are you present

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during all this or are you not? You must have been there even

during the void to be able to say that you experienced a void.

To be fixed in that ‘you’ is the quest for the ‘I’ from start to

finish. In all books on Vedanta you will find this question of a

void or of nothing being left, raised by the disciple and

answered by the Guru. It is the mind that sees objects and has

experiences and that finds a void when it ceases to see and

experience, but that is not ‘you’. You are the constant

illumination that lights up both the experiences and the void.

It is like the theatre light that enables you to see the theatre,

the actors and the play while the play is going on but also

remains alight and enables you to say that there is no play on

when it is all finished. Or there is another illustration. We see

objects all around us, but in complete darkness we do not see

them and we say, ‘I see nothing’; even then the eyes are there

to say that they see nothing. In the same way, you are there

even in the void you mention.

You are the witness of the three bodies: the gross, the

subtle and the causal, and of the three states: waking, dream

and deep sleep, and of the three times: past, present and future,

and also of this void. In the story of the tenth man, when each

of the ten counted and thought there were only nine, each one

forgetting to count himself, there is a stage when they think

one is missing and don’t know who it is; and that corresponds

to the void. We are so accustomed to the notion that all that

we see around us is permanent and that we are this body, that

when all this ceases to exist we imagine and fear that we also

have ceased to exist.

Bhagavan also quoted verses 212 and 213 from

Vivekachudamani, in which the disciple says: “After I

eliminate the five sheaths as not-Self, I find that nothing at all

remains,” and the Guru replied that the Self or That by which

all modifications (including the ego and its creatures) and their

absence (that is the void) are perceived is always there.

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Then Bhagavan continued speaking on the subject and

said: “The nature of the Self or ‘I’ must be illumination. You

perceive all modifications and their absence. How? To say that

you get the illumination from another would raise the question

how he got it and there would be no end to the chain of

reasoning. So you yourself are the illumination. The usual

illustration of this is the following: You make all kinds of sweets

of various ingredients and in various shapes and they all taste

sweet because there is sugar in all of them and sweetness is the

nature of sugar. And in the same way all experiences and the

absence of them contain the illumination which is the nature of

the Self. Without the Self they cannot be experienced, just as

without sugar not one of the articles you make can taste sweet.”

A little later Bhagavan also said: “First one sees the Self as

objects, then one sees the Self as void, then one sees the Self as

Self, only in this last there is no seeing because seeing is being.”

Mr. Bhargava also said something about sleep, and this

led Bhagavan to speak about sleep as follows:

“What is required is to remain fixed in the Self always.

The obstacles to that are distraction by the things of the world

(including sense objects, desires and tendencies) on the one

hand, and sleep on the other. Sleep is always mentioned in books

as the first obstacle to samadhi and various methods are

prescribed for overcoming it according to the stage of evolution

of the person concerned. First, one is enjoined to give up all

distraction by the world and its objects or by sleep. But then it

is said, for instance in the Gita, that one need not give up sleep

entirely. Too much and too little are alike undesirable. One

should not sleep at all during the daytime and even during the

night restrict sleep to the middle portion, from about ten to

two. But another method that is prescribed is not to bother about

sleep at all. When it overtakes you, you can do nothing about

it, so simply remain fixed in the Self or in meditation every

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moment of your waking life and take up the meditation again

the moment you wake, and that will be enough. Then even during

sleep the same current of thought or meditation will be working.

This is evident because if a man goes to sleep with any strong

thought working in his mind he finds the same thought there

when he wakes. It is of the man who does this with meditation

that it is said that even his sleep is samadhi. A good way to reduce

the amount of sleep needed is to take only sattvic food and that

in moderation and to avoid work or activity of any kind.”

22-7-46

This morning Vaidyanathan, the R.D.O., came into the

hall and asked whether he could bring in the adviser, Ramamurti.

Bhagavan gave permission and he brought in Ramamurti and

his party. Ramamurti began to speak to Bhagavan in Telugu

and said, “I know that Bhagavan speaks Telugu, because I came

here ten years ago with Raghaviah and found that Bhagavan

spoke Telugu quite well. This (pointing to the man next to him)

is my brother. He has opened an Institute of Naturopathy in

Bangalore. Kameswara Sarma is also working there.”

Thereupon his brother said, “Bhagavan was pleased to

send his blessings when the institute was opened.” After that

he added, “I find it difficult to believe in a personal God. In fact

I find it impossible. But I can believe in an impersonal God, a

Divine Force which rules and guides the world, and it would

be a great help to me, even in my work of healing, if this faith

were increased. May I know how to increase this faith?”

After a slight pause Bhagavan replied, “Faith is in things

unknown; but the Self is self-evident. Even the greatest egoist

cannot deny his own existence, that is to say, cannot deny the

Self. You can call the ultimate Reality by whatever name you

like and say that you have faith in it or love for it, but who is

there who will not have faith in his own existence or love for

himself? That is because faith and love are our real nature.”

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A little later Ramamurti asked, “That which rises as ‘I’

within us is the Self, is it not?”

Bhagavan: No; it is the ego that rises as ‘I’. That from

which it arises is the Self.

Ramamurti: They speak of a lower and a higher atman.

Bhagavan: There is no such thing as lower or higher in

atman. Lower and higher apply to the forms, not to the Self

or atman.

Soon after, the party took leave, declining an invitation

to stay to lunch, as they had already arranged for lunch

elsewhere.

In the afternoon Mr. Tayal of Calcutta spoke with

Bhagavan again.

Tayal: I do not always concentrate on the same centre in

the body. Sometimes I find it easier to concentrate on one

centre and sometimes on another. And sometimes when I

concentrate on one centre the thought of its own accord goes

and fixes itself in another. Why is that?

Bhagavan: It may be because of past practices of yours.

But in any case it is immaterial on which centre you

concentrate since the real heart is in every centre and even

outside the body. On whatever part of the body you may

concentrate or on whatever external object, the heart is there.

K.M. Jivrajani, intervening, asked: Can one

concentrate at one time on one centre and at another time

on another or should one concentrate always consistently

on the same centre?

Bhagavan: As I have just said, there can be no harm

wherever you concentrate, because concentration is only a

means of giving up thoughts. Whatever the centre or object on

which you concentrate, he who concentrates is always the same.

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24-7-46

Bhargava: What is awareness and how can one obtain

and cultivate it?

Bhagavan: You are awareness. Awareness is another

name for you. Since you are awareness there is no need to

attain or cultivate it.

This was obviously a bit too much for Bhargava and he

was wondering how it was an answer to his question, but

Bhagavan came to his help by adding: All that you have to do

is to give up being aware of other things, that is of the not-Self.

If one gives up being aware of them then pure awareness alone

remains, and that is the Self.”

28-7-46 Morning

At about 10 a.m. as I entered the hall, Bhagavan was telling

a visitor from Jaipur, “What is the use of coming away from

your house? You have left one home. This is another home.

What can the home do? Nothing. It is the mind that does

everything.” After saying this he continued: “Immediately the

question is asked. ‘Then why did you come away from home’?”

I asked Bhagavan, “Why, did this man also ask that question?”

Bhagavan: No. He has not asked it. But I myself realise

the inconsistency (F]dÏsú[úV DûRf£d¡\úR).

On previous occasions, Bhagavan has answered this

question in the following way, “I came away because it was my

prarabdha, and you will also go away if it is your prarabdha.”

In the evening, some bairagi from Rishikesh came and

complained in Hindi before Bhagavan for a long time that some

Malayali sadhus there were trying to wipe out the existence of

Ramanasramam at Rishikesh, founded by one Govindananda

25 years ago, and that he had come here to see that the land on

which the Asramam was built 25 years ago is purchased and

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duly registered, so that nobody can oust the present inmates of

the Asramam from the place. He was told that the Sarvadhikari

who alone could deal with such matters was absent and that

Bhagavan would do nothing. The bairagi was greatly vexed

and left the hall, even without staying for supper.

On the 29th I left for Chingleput and returned only on

the night of 2-8-46.

3-8-46

I find among the arrivals here during my absence the

Zamindarini of Vuyyur visiting the Asramam for the first time

and another young boy of nine years, Apparao, hailing from

Anakapalle. The boy is in some ways precocious and professes

to be inclined towards sannyasa or spiritual life and is

remarkably free from all fear. It seems he heard about Bhagavan

first from his father who visited Bhagavan about two years ago.

The boy remembers and narrates accurately some incidents in

Bhagavan’s life at Skandasramam and Virupakshi which he has

heard from his father or others. It seems some swami visiting

Anakapalle recently spoke about Bhagavan, and hearing that,

the boy in a mood of enthusiasm has run away here all by himself

unknown to his parents. It is said that once before he ran away

to Benares and stayed there for a day and returned. When

somebody asked him, “Is it proper for you to take up this sort

of life so soon? Your business now is to attend school and learn,”

he replied, “Did not Shankara leave his home when he was

only seven?” The boy is still here and our Nagamma has written

to his mother about the boy’s arrival.

This afternoon, at 2-30 p.m., I found Bhagavan seated on a

cot in the dining hall. While I was wondering why, a party of a

dozen devotees came and took their seats in front of Bhagavan.

They soon started a bhajan, which went on till 4 p.m. and was

full of devotion. The party had come from Srivilliputtur, where

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they belong to ‘Rama Matam’ which, it seems, has been in

existence for more than fifty years. They not only sang, but danced

and performed kummi and went through various movements, all

reminiscent of Krishna’s diversions in Brindavan.

After evening parayana, P.C. Desai and Viswanath were

correcting in Bhagavan’s presence the proofs of Kapali Sastri’s

Sanskrit commentary on Ramana Gita.

4-8-46

This morning Yogi Ramiah arrived. About 9-30 a.m.

Bhagavan was looking into the Tamil paper Hindusthan and

read out to me the following dialogue from it.

1st man: It is only if sorrows or troubles come to us that

we think of God.

2nd man: Ah, you fool. If we are always thinking of God,

how can any sorrows or troubles come to us?

Why Bhagavan drew my attention to this, I do not know.

I wonder if it is because I generally argue with him that it

should not be necessary for an all-powerful and all-loving

God to make us pass through pain to turn us towards Him.

Most of the day the proof correction went on.

5-8-46

The proof-reading continued today and was finished in

the evening. The boy Apparao would seem to be only a truant.

His brother has written to Nagamma in reply. The Zamindarini

of Vuyyur, who is leaving for Madras today, has taken the

boy with her promising to send him by train to Anakapalle.

6-8-46 Morning

A visitor introduced himself to Bhagavan as one who

was at Singapore for many years and who knows Mr. Narayana

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Iyer of Singapore. I found later that this gentleman is Rajam

Iyer from Tinnevelly.

In the afternoon, T.S. Rajagopal, while clearing and

rearranging the book shelves, came across a notebook.

Bhagavan said, “This is the notebook K.K. Nambiar gave me.

It was a very strange thing. There used to be a number of bound

notebooks like this with us then. But still, Madhavan did not

give me one, though I was asking for one for two or three days.

Somehow, he was indifferent and I too did not press him. On

the third day, Nambiar, who was then engineer here, came and

gave me this notebook and said ‘Here is the notebook Bhagavan

wanted’. Then it came out that he had a dream in which, it

seems, I told him I wanted a notebook of such and such a kind

and of such and such dimensions. He is now in America.”

7-8-46 Afternoon

A notebook in which I had written down some favourite

Tamil songs of mine was missing for some time and so I began

copying those songs again in a fresh notebook. This was brought

to Bhagavan’s notice by T.S.R., and soon afterwards Mr.

Somasundaram Pillai of Cuddalore came and told me that my

old notebook had not been lost but was with his family. In this

connection, T.S.R. told me, “Various incidents, too numerous

to remember, happen like this. The moment I told Bhagavan,

you got your notebook. It seems Bhagavan’s mother once

wanted kadukkai (Indian myrobolan) and soon afterwards

somebody brought it. You ask Bhagavan about it.” Thereupon I

asked Bhagavan and he said, “It was not mother that wanted

kadukkai. I used to have a cough and also constipation in those

days. I was then in Virupakshi Cave. I used to munch kadukkai

now and then. One day our stock of kadukkai had become

exhausted. In those days, overseer (Sesha Iyer) used to come to

me daily in the evenings, after his usual official round in the

town, and he used to look after our requirements. So we told

285

him we wanted kadukkai. He would generally attend promptly

to any such want. But, somehow, he did not send it the next day

and so I told Palaniswami, ‘When you go to fetch meals from

the chattram this noon, remind the overseer about the kadukkai.’

But before he went, the following incident happened. One

Adimulam and his friends, from a village near Chengam, used

to come here once a month, to go round the Hill. They would

visit me also. They came that day, stayed with me some time,

took leave and departed. After going a few paces, they came

back and asked if we had any possible use for kadukkai. We

said ‘Yes’ and then they brought a whole bag of them and

requested us to keep it. We took about two measures, selecting

the best, and returned the rest to them. It seems, as they were

coming, they found this kadukkai all along the Chengam Road

and they had gathered a whole bag. Evidently, some bags,

carried overnight in the bandies plying on that road, were leaking

and these had spilled out. So, I asked Palaniswami to tell the

overseer not to send kadukkai from the town.”

When he was finishing the above narration, Mr. Kuppanna

came and prostrated himself before Bhagavan. Bhagavan said,

“Look at this. We are talking about the overseer and here is his

nephew.” (K. is overseer’s brother’s son.) Then T.S.R. put in,

“Such coincidences are too numerous. Recently, we spoke about

Janaki Ammal and she arrived the following day. The other

day, Krishnaswami remarked to Bhagavan that Yogi Ramiah

had not come here for about two years, and he arrived the

following day and is with us now.” Bhagavan continued,

“Kuppuswami’s coming reminds me of another incident. One

day, for something or other, I wanted dried grapes and asked

those with me whether we had any in the Asramam. They had

none. And we thought no more of that. That night

Kuppuswami’s father arrived from Madras, and he brought with

him a viss of good, clean dried grapes, not the sticky and dirty

stuff which we generally get here. It seems he arrived in the

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town late in the night and wanted to buy some sweets to bring

them to me. He had never before brought any such thing, but

on that occasion it struck him he should buy something for me.

It seems all the shops were closed. But one grocer’s shop was

open and he went there. He had no idea of purchasing grapes at

all. But the shopkeeper volunteered the information, ‘I have

fresh, good dried grapes, recently arrived. They are very good.

Buy some.’ And he bought a viss and took it to us.”

Bhagavan added, “The notebook incident is even more

remarkable. Nambiar came and sat in the hall as usual. As

he was leaving, he came and showed the notebook to me. I

asked him what the notebook was for, and he said, ‘You

asked for it and so I have brought it. You came in my dream

and asked for it, giving me full directions as to length, width,

thickness, etc., and so I have made it accordingly and brought

it.’ Madhavan was not then in the hall. When he returned I

called him and said, ‘What have I been asking you for, these

two or three days?’ He replied, ‘That bound notebook.’ Then

I asked, ‘Why didn’t you give it to me?’ He replied,

‘Somehow I forgot about it.’ Then I showed him the notebook

brought by Nambiar and told him, ‘You would not give it

and so he has brought this.’ Mr. Nambiar is now in America.

Mrs. Dowe has written about Nambiar and Bose. She likes

Nambiar very much and says he is a quiet man, unlike Bose,

who is talkative. Such happenings were very common in the

case of Ayyaswami who was with me. The moment I thought

of anything, the same thought would occur to him and he

would do what I wanted. I used to ask him, ‘Why did you do

this?’ and he would reply, ‘I don’t know. Somehow the thought

came to me and so I did it’.” T.S.R. said, “How is it, it is not

our good fortune to have such calls made on us, as on

Nambiar?” Then I told him, “Why? You were asked to get ink

and you brought the same.” Then Bhagavan said, “Yes. He

brought a bottle of Stephens ink, saying he had a dream in

which I wanted it.”

287

When Bhagavan said, “Things like these have not been

included in any book, in any of the biographies, I think.” I

replied, “I am noting down all such things in my diary. I shan’t

omit them.”

This morning, T.S.R.’s son-in-law K. Sarma and his wife

and child arrived here. Bhagavan made kind enquiries of them

and asked Sarada if her child Lakshmi was talking now and she

replied, “She talks a few words and supplements them by

gestures.” In the afternoon, a visitor Ramanatha Poddar, arrived

from Bombay and enquired after L. Sarma and his son K. Sarma.

It seems these two tried their naturopathy on R.P.’s relation about

a year ago and then stayed in his house for about two months.

This morning, Yogi Ramiah brought a small notebook in

which Bhagavan had long ago copied for the Yogi some of

Bhagavan’s works, and wanted the binding to be mended.

Bhagavan gave some directions and entrusted the work to

T.S.R. In the evening T.S.R. gave the notebook mended to

Bhagavan and Bhagavan approved of the work and handed it

to Yogi, saying, “Look at your notebook now.” Yogi said, “All

is Bhagavan’s grace,” or some such thing. Muruganar took

up the notebook and, seeing only a fourth of the notebook

had been written up and the rest was empty, quoted the words

from the Purusha Sukta, and remarked, “Like a fourth only

of God manifesting in the entire universe and the remaining

three-fourths lying outside it unknown, this book contains only

a fourth of Bhagavan” and all laughed, including Bhagavan.

8-8-46

Mr. Viswanath said, “Shroff is asking me to find out from

Bhagavan why it is that in spite of his being sincerely keen on

being near Bhagavan, he did not get posted to Madras or any

place near Tiruvannamalai, but was sent to Bombay.” Bhagavan

replied, “What can we say? Things happen in a way we don’t

understand. Those whom one never expects suddenly come

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here. Some who are here are suddenly and unexpectedly made

to go away from here. What can we say about it?” About 10

a.m. Mrs. Desai read out before Bhagavan her Gujarati verse

translation of Jagadisa Sastri’s Abhayashtakam, an English

translation of which was recently made by Mr.V. Iyer for

inclusion in the Golden Jubilee Souvenir volume. Bhagavan

received today the first copy of New Times. It seems when Mr.

Tirumal Rao was here recently he took from Mr. Frydman a

small article on Bhagavan for inclusion in the first issue of his

paper. For the benefit of all, I read out the article in the hall.

Bhagavan said, “Show it to Mr. Frydman.”

Afternoon

Yogi Ramiah gave his notebook to Bhagavan and said,

pointing to Muruganar, “People like him would write verses

on occasions like the forthcoming Jubilee. But people like

me can do no such thing. Instead, I want Bhagavan to write

something in my notebook.” Thereupon Bhagavan wrote on

the back of the front page in the notebook, which he found

blank, the Telugu version of the Tamil song which Bhagavan

had composed when the late Somasundara Swami requested

Bhagavan to write an ‘FÝjÕ’ in his notebook. The Sanskrit

word for FÝjÕ being both a character in the alphabet and

an imperishable thing, Bhagavan wrote punningly:

@dLWU úRôùWÝj RôϪl ×jRLjúRô

WdLWUô UKùRÝR Yô£jRô—VdLWUôm

JùWÝjùRu ßkRôö Ùs[j ùRô°oYRôm

AùWÝR YpXô WûR.

Here in this book I write

For you to read

An akshara,

But who can write

The Akshara

For ever shining in the heart?

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9-8-46

In the morning tapal was a letter from Mr. V. P. Sastri. It

was full of devotion to Bhagavan and said how Bhagavan and

his teachings were unique.

Afternoon

About 3-30 p.m., Bhagavan was reading a letter going to

the post. After returning it to Mauni, he said, “One says my

subtle body is three miles long — three miles,” and laughed. It

seems Mr. G. V. S. of Nellore came across a swami, Narasimham

I think by name, who said this. He also said Aurobindo’s subtle

body was three furlongs long. Nagamma reported this.

Bhagavan laughed and said, “How long is his own subtle body?”

Bhagavan read out from a Tamil journal a passage which

said, “It is false philosophy which regards the world as false

or full of misery. If you learn to use the intelligence and the

power which is latent within you, you can live happily in this

world.” After reading this out, Bhagavan said, “These people

belong to the school which believes in sakti and siddhis.” He

also added, “But I suppose they too will have to die.”

This morning we had gruel and groundnuts for breakfast.

Bhagavan told us this sort of gruel used to be given to him by

the famous Keerai Patti in those days and so they thought

they would try and prepare the same here today. It is made of

milk and rice, with fenugreek, a little garlic, a little dried

ginger, a little salt and sugar. Bhagavan said that the gruel

had not come out quite well and that a little more salt and

sugar should have been added.

In the evening, after parayana, Viswanath read out some

songs from Uma Sahasram and also some other Sanskrit songs

of Nayana on the Goddess, apparently because this is

Varalakshmi vrata day.

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10-8-46 Morning

Bhagavan came across some verses in honour of the late

R. Raghava Aiyangar by his relation M. Raghava Aiyangar,

in today’s Swadesamitran and, seeing that Muruganar was

not in the hall, asked Viswanath to tell him about it. Bhagavan

added, “Ever since R.’s demise, in every paper, appreciations

have been regularly appearing. But these are in verse and

composed by his close relation. They are @jûRl©s}

@mUôg£ (cousins). I think M. would like to see the verses.”

In this connection I said, “Would not Muruganar write

something, seeing they were great friends?” To this Viswanath

said, “Not likely, because he has taken up the stand that he

should not sing the praises of any but Bhagavan.” Mrs.

Taleyarkhan wanted to know about R. Aiyangar and Bhagavan

told her, “He was the Samasthana Vidvan of Ramnad, the Poet

Laureate, you may call it, of that State.” Then, we fell to talking

about the small patronage, poets as a class have had in our

country, and remarked that things were getting better, with

such events in our days as the poet Ramalingam of Namakkal

being presented with a purse of Rs.10,000. Muruganar’s vow

also reminded me of the famous Telugu poet, Pothana,

declining to dedicate his Bhagavatam to his king, in spite of

the earnest entreaties of his brother-in-law Srinatha, the court

poet, and the commands of the king. This story was then

related to Mrs. Taleyarkhan by Mr. G.V. Subba Rao.

The post brought a letter from Chinnaswami. Bhagavan

said, on perusing it, “It seems they have gone to Madras and

will meet the Raja of Ramnad there. They seem to have effected

a little alteration in the Madura house, renovating the two rooms

in front, making the whole thing one hall and having the street

entrance in the middle of the house instead of on one side as

before.” Bhagavan asked the note to be shown to Mrs. T., as it

contained the information that some contribution made by her

had been utilised for this purpose, though originally it was

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thought the sum could be spent on the forthcoming Jubilee.

The letter was accordingly shown to her by Viswanath.

Afternoon

As soon as Muruganar came, Bhagavan told him about

the article in Swadesamitran and also about another in the

Tamil Hindustan on R.R. Aiyangar, and gave the two papers

to him. He also added, “The latter article concludes by saying

that R.R. and the late Rt. Hon. V.S.S. Sastri were great friends

and, except for the fact they employed different languages,

they were equally great speakers.”

Bhagavan gave Nagamma some instruction as to where and

how she might begin the portion in the life of Jnaneswar which

she is translating into Telugu — the portion where Jnaneswar

goes to the forest, argues with his father and brings him back to

the city and family. In this connection, Bhagavan wanted to see

where and how we began when we translated the above portion

for Manu Subedar’s benefit, and so I took out Manu Subedar’s

1945 edition of Gita Explained (Jnaneswari) in which the above

translation is given as an appendix. Bhagavan perused it and said,

“We shall begin the Telugu translation in some such way.”

After evening parayana, Desai began reading some

verses in Sanskrit and translating them into English. After a

few minutes, I asked Bhagavan what it was all about, and

then he said, “Just now they have found that there is some

space available in the Jubilee volume and think that the same

could be filled up by a few verses which are really stotras

from the Sanskrit Biography written by Viswanatha Sastri.

So Desai is translating them. Viswanath is probably already

translating them into Tamil or English without telling these

people.” Then Bhagavan told Desai, “You had better write

your translation in English. We shall all go through it then

and see.”

11-8-46

This morning, the young man Natarajan of Tanjore arrived.

He brought from Janaki Ammal a walking stick with a silver

knob and a pair of wooden slippers with silver gilt for Bhagavan.

Bhagavan said, “I shall touch them and give them back. Let her

have them in her puja.” So saying, he inspected them and gave

them back to the attendant. Later, I asked N. and found out that

the allusion in the seventh stanza of his Vetkai (úYhûL) is to

the following incident: It seems one morning during his last

visit he came into the dining hall late for his lunch, and that all

except Bhagavan had risen. It seems then Bhagavan also rose

and came and stood by N.’s side and when he tried to get up

Bhagavan told him ‘YkR úY~ûVl Tôo’ (attend to the

business for which you have come) and walked on. N. now

read out before Bhagavan his poem ‘Ï«ùXôÓ á\p’ which

he had not read out on his previous visit.

Afternoon

Bhagavan looked into the Tamil Bhakta Vijayam and told

Nagamma, “You may begin by saying that when the Brahmins

complained to the king against Jnaneswar’s grandfather, that

he was spoiling the Brahmin caste, etc., Jnaneswar went to the

king and argued with him so ably on behalf of his grandfather,

that the king was greatly struck by the boy’s genius and wanted

to see what sort of man was the father who gave birth to such a

child, and sent Jnaneswar with his own retinue to go to the

forest and fetch his father.” Bhagavan also asked me to show

Mr. D.S. Sastri (Nagamma’s brother), who arrived this morning,

the appendix to Manu Subedar’s Gita (Jnaneswari). Later the

talk turned to the proposed journal for our Asramam, on which

Mr. D.S. Sastri has been very keen. D.S. Sastri said that the

Calcutta gentleman who was equally keen, met him at Madras

and talked to him about it. D.S.S. said, “But it won’t do to edit

it from Calcutta. There must be someone here who would show

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everything to Bhagavan and get his approval before it is sent to

the press.” I suggested Dr. Anantanarayana Rao’s name, as I

felt unequal for any such responsible work. Bhagavan said,

“Even today we received a letter from somebody who asks if

there is not some journal — some organ of the Asramam.”

Later, on a visitor’s request, Bhagavan said,

“Concentrating one’s thoughts solely on the Self will lead to

happiness or bliss. Drawing in the thoughts, restraining them

and preventing them from going outwards is called vairagya.

Fixing them in the Self is sadhana or abhyasa. Concentrating

on the Heart is the same as concentrating on the Self. The

Heart is another name for the Self.”

This afternoon, I was reading the current Vedanta Kesari

which begins with some conversation of Latu Maharaj

(Adbhutananda). Then I told Bhagavan that Adbhutananda

was Latu, who was wholly illiterate; that such a man was

later able to hold such conversations as are recorded in this

article was regarded a miracle and so Latu was named

Adbhutananda. Bhagavan said, “Is it so?”

12-8-46

This morning, Bhagavan was perusing a letter from Madhavi

Amma (K.K. Nambiar’s sister) and told us, “She says: ‘If I were

a man, would I allow anybody else to massage Bhagavan’s legs?’

She says this in connection with Madhavan and his death. She

massaged my legs once. She gave hot fomentation. She is expert

at that. The cloth would hardly touch my limbs. She would apply

just the hot vapour alone to the legs.”

Natarajan read out today his Vetkai, consisting of ten

songs. I had asked him to read this yesterday. But he read

first his ‘Ï«ùXôÓ á\p’ (Kuyilodu Kooral) and in the

singing so lost himself that he forgot all about my request.

So he read out Vetkai today. He also read out another song

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composed by him today in which he has embodied Janaki

Ammal’s request sent through him to Bhagavan. He told

Bhagavan, “I have already shown it to Muruganar.” Bhagavan

perused it and made one small correction.

In the evening Desai and Viswanath read out their English

translation of the eight or nine verses of stotra extracted from

V. Sastri’s Sanskrit life of Bhagavan.

(Continued  ...)




(My humble salutations to the lotus feet of Bhagavan Sree Ramana Maharshi
and also gratitude to great philosophers and others     for the collection)