Ramana Maharshi -Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma -4

Letters from Sri Ramanasramam,

 by Suri Nagamma

 

 

 

(91) MAYA (ILLUSION)

Prev Next    9th February, 1947
The same devotee who questioned Bhagavan yesterday
again asked him this afternoon about illusion, maya: “Swami,
all the innumerable varieties of things that appear to the
human mind to be real, are mere maya (illusion), aren’t they?
Will the illusion disappear if they are all discarded?”
Bhagavan replied, “Illusion will continue to appear as
illusion, so long as the idea that oneself and Ishwara are two
different entities persists. When once that illusion is discarded
and the individual realises that he is Ishwara, he will
understand that maya is not something distinct and separate
from his own self. Ishwara exists without and distinct from
illusion, but there is no illusion without Ishwara.” “Therefore
that illusion changes into pure illusion, doesn’t it?” asked
the questioner. Bhagavan replied, “Yes! It amounts to that;
unless the individual self is existent how can one realise
Ishwara? There is no self, unless the illusion is there. When
once the individual realises who he is, the evil effects, i.e.,
‘doshas’ of illusion do not affect him. Call it pure illusion, or
anything else you like. That is the essential thing.”
Somebody else took up the topic and asked, “They say
that the jiva is subject to the evil effects of illusion such as
limited vision and knowledge, whereas Ishwara has all-
pervading vision and knowledge and such other
characteristics and that jiva and Ishwara become one and
identical if the individual discards his limited vision and
knowledge, and such other characteristics usually attached
to him. But should not Ishwara also discard his particular
characteristics such as all-pervading vision and knowledge?
They too are illusions, aren’t they?”
“Is that your doubt? First discard your limited vision
and such like characteristics and then it will be time enough
to think of Ishwara’s all-pervading vision, knowledge etc.

First get rid of your limited knowledge. Why do you worry
about Ishwara? He will look after Himself. Has He not got
as much capacity as we have? Why should we worry whether
He possesses the all-pervading vision and knowledge or not?
It is indeed a great thing if we can take care of ourselves.”
The questioner asked again, “But first of all we must
find a Guru who can give us sufficient practice and thereby
enable us to get rid of these gunas, mustn’t we?”
“If we have the earnestness to get rid of these qualities
can we not find a Guru? We must first have the desire to get
rid of them. When once we have this the Guru will himself
come, searching for us, or he will somehow manage to draw
us to himself. The Guru will always be on the alert and keep
an eye on us; Ishwara Himself will show us the Guru. Who
else will look after the welfare of the children except the
father himself? He is always with us, surrounding us. He
protects us, as a bird protects its eggs by hatching them under
the shelter of its wings. But we must have whole-hearted
faith in Him,” said Bhagavan.
A devotee, by name Sankaramma, who is generally
afraid of asking Bhagavan questions, said quietly on hearing
those words: “But Swamiji! Guru’s upadesa (instruction) is
necessary for sadhana, isn’t it?” Bhagavan replied, “Oh! Is
that so? But that upadesa is being given every day. Those
who are in need of it, may have it.” Others present there
said: “But Bhagavan must bless us that we may be enabled
to receive the instruction. That is our prayer.” “The blessing
is always there,” replied Bhagavan.

(92) AADARANA (REGARD)

Prev Next    10th February, 1947
At noon today three French ladies arrived here by car
from Pondicherry. One was the Governor’s wife, another the
Secretary’s wife and the third was someone connected with
them. They rested for a while after food and reached the
hall by about 2-30 p.m. Two of them could not sit on the
floor and so they sat on the window sill opposite to Bhagavan;
the third somehow managed to sit on the floor. They took
leave of Bhagavan at about 3 p.m. and left. When I saw
them I remembered some other incidents connected with
the visit of an American lady to the Ashram, how she sat
with legs stretched out, and was advised by the inmates of
the Ashram not to do so, how Bhagavan admonished them
by narrating the stories of Avaiyar and Namdev. I wrote to
you about all that long back. I shall now write to you two
more incidents of a similar type.

About ten months ago, an old European lady came here
along with another European called Frydman and stayed here
for about twenty days. She was not accustomed to squatting
on the ground because of her Western style of living. Besides,
she was old. So she used to suffer considerably, being unable
to sit down, and if she sat down, she was finding it difficult to
get up. The gentleman used to help her to get up, by holding
her hand. One day when I reached the hall by about 8 a.m. I
found them both seated in the front row in the space allotted
for ladies. The other ladies were hesitating to sit nearby, and
so I signalled to him to move a bit farther away, which he did
immediately. Bhagavan got annoyed and looked at me but I
did not at the time know why. I was standing near the sofa
talking to somebody. Frydman suddenly got up and also
helped her to get up. Her eyes were filled with tears and most
reluctantly she took leave of Bhagavan. Bhagavan as usual
nodded his head in token of permission. As soon as they left,
Bhagavan looked at me and said, “It is a pity they are going
away.” I felt that I had committed a great crime and said, “I
am sorry. I did not know they were leaving.” Bhagavan felt
that I had realised my mistake and that I was repenting for it
and so said, “No. It is not that. They suffer a lot if they sit on
the ground. That is why so many who are anxious to come
here stay away. They are not accustomed to squat. What can
they do? It is a great pity.”
Some time ago, a very poor old lady came here one
morning with her relatives. All except she made their pranams
to Bhagavan and sat down. She however remained standing.
Krishnaswamy, the attendant, requested her to sit down, but
she did not do so. Her relatives called her to come away but
she did not do that either. l too advised her to go to them
and sit down, but she did not take any notice. Someone there
said, admonishing her, “Why don’t you listen to the advice
of all the people here?” I looked at her relatives to find out
the reason of her obstinacy. They said that she was almost
blind and so wanted to go near Swami to see him at close
quarters. I got up, took her hand and led her to the sofa
where Bhagavan was seated. Shading her eyes with the palm
of her hand she looked at Bhagavan intently and said,
“Swami! I can’t see properly. Please bless me that I may be
enabled to see you in my mind.” With looks full of tenderness,
Bhagavan nodded his head by way of assent saying, “All right.”
As soon as they left, Bhagavan told us, “The poor lady
can’t see properly and so was afraid of coming near to see
me. What can she do? She merely stood there. To those
who have no eyes, the mind is the eye. They have only one
sight, that of the mind, and not many other sights to distract
their attention. Only the mind should get concentration.
When once that is obtained they are much better than us.”
What a mild and soothing admonition!

(93) SADHANA IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GURU

Prev Next    12th February, 1947
Today, I reached the hall at about 3 p.m. Bhagavan was
at leisure, answering questions asked by some devotee. One
of the questions was: “Swami, they say that japa and tapa
performed in the presence of Bhagavan yield greater results
than usual. If so, what about bad actions done in your
presence?” Bhagavan replied, “If good actions yield good
results, bad actions must yield bad results. If the gift of a
cow in Benares yields great punya (virtue) to the donor, the
slaughter of a cow there result in great papa (sin). When you
say that a little virtuous action done in a holy place yields
enormous benefit, a sinful action must likewise yield
enormous harm. So long as the feeling that you are the doer
is there, you must face the consequences of your actions,
good or bad.”
“There is the desire to discard bad habits but the force
of the vasanas is very strong. What are we to do?” that person
continued. “There must be human effort to discard them.

Good company, good contacts, good deeds and all such good
practices must be acquired in order to eliminate the vasanas.
As you keep on trying, eventually with the ripening of the
mind and with God’s grace, the vasanas get extinguished
and efforts succeed. That is called purushakaram (human
effort). How could God be expected to be favourable towards
you without your striving for it?” said Bhagavan.
Another person took up the thread of conversation and
said, “It is said that the whole universe is God’s chidvilasam
and that everything is Brahmamayam. Then why should we
say that bad habits and bad practices should be discarded?”
Bhagavan replied, “Why? I will tell you. There is the human
body. Suppose there is some wound inside it. If you neglect
it, on the assumption that it is only a small part of the body,
it causes pain to the whole body. If it is not cured by ordinary
treatment, the doctor must come, cut off the affected portion
with a knife and remove the impure blood. If the diseased
part is not cut off it will fester.
“If you do not bandage it after operation, puss will form.
It is the same thing with regard to conduct. Bad habits and
bad conduct are like a wound in the body; if a man does not
discard them, he will fall into the abyss below. Hence every
disease must be given appropriate treatment.”
“Bhagavan says that sadhana must be done to discard
all such bad things, but the mind itself is inert and cannot do
anything by itself — Chaitanya (Self) is achalam (motionless)
and so will not do anything. Then how is one to perform
sadhana?” someone asked. Bhagavan replied, “Oho! But how
are you able to talk now?” “Swami, I do not understand that
and that is why I ask for enlightenment,” he said. Bhagavan
replied, “All right. Then please listen. The mind which is
inert is able to achieve everything by the force of its contact,
sannidhyabala (strength of proximity) with chaitanya which is
achala. But without the aid of chaitanya the inert mind cannot
accomplish anything by itself. Chaitanya, being immobile,
cannot accomplish anything without the help of the mind. It
is the relationship of avinabhavam, one dependent on the
other, and inseparable. That is why elders discussed this
matter from various angles and came to the conclusion that
the mind is chit-jada-atmakam. We have to say that the
combination of chit (Self) and jada (inert) produces action.”
Bhagavan has written nicely about this Chit-jada-granthi
in his “Unnathi Nalubadhi”, verse 24, as follows:
The body does not say ‘I’. The Atman is not born. In
between, the feeling ‘I’ is born in the whole body.
Whatever name you give it that is Chit-jada-granthi (the
knot between the consciousness and the inert), and also
bondage.

(94) HRIDAYAM – SAHASRARAM

Prev Next    13th February, 1947
As verses written by Bhagavan in Tamil on different
occasions are found scattered in different notebooks, we have
been thinking for a long time past that they should all be
collected together in one book, but somehow we have delayed
the matter. Four or five days back I told Niranjanananda
Swami about this, brought a notebook and began copying
them enthusiastically, though my knowledge of Tamil is very
limited.

When I asked Bhagavan in what books they are to be
found, he said, “They must be in those big notebooks bearing
numbers one, two and three. Please see,” and again,
“Whenever anyone asked me, I used to write them out on
small bits of paper and give them to them. They used to take
them away. Some of them were noted down in these books
and some were not. If all of them were here, there would by
now have been a quite a lot. I wrote many more while l was on
the hill. Some of them were thrown away. Who had the desire
or the patience to preserve them? If you want them, you may
gather them now.” I felt pained that the Divine voice expressed
in verses had not been preserved for future generations and
had thus been wasted. I took up volume one, and found verses
under the heading, “Bhagavan’s Compositions.” I asked him
what those verses were and he replied:
“When I was in Virupaksha Cave, Nayana came there
once with a boy named Arunachala. He had studied up to
the school’s final class. While Nayana and I were talking, the
boy sat in a bush nearby. He somehow listened to our
conversation and composed nine verses in English, giving
the gist of what we were talking about. The verses were good
and so I translated them into Tamil verses in ahaval metre.
They read like Telugu dwipada metre. The substance of the
verses is as follows:
From the sun of Bhagavan’s face, the rays of his words
start out and bestow glow and strength on the moon of
Ganapathy Sastry’s (Nayana’s) face which in turn lights
the faces of people like us.
“One thing more. Ganapathy Sastry used to say that
Sahasrara is the source and the centre of all. The Heart is the
support of Sahasrara, is it not? The Heart bestows light on
the Sahasrara. I used to say that the Heart is the source of all
and that the force that emerges out of the Heart shines in
the Sahasrara. To include this idea, the verse suggests a double
meaning that the Heart is the sun, the solar orb, and the
Sahasrara is the moon.”

(95) TELUGU VENBA

Prev Next    15th February, 1947
The magazine Thyagi published last month a review on
the recently printed Tamil puranam called Tiruchuli. In the
review they included three verses taken out from the book
called, Thiruchuli Venba Andadhi, for purpose of comparison.

Encouraged by the Sarvadhikari, I wanted to read the review,
and therefore took the magazine from Bhagavan about ten
days ago.
The venba is poetry with double meanings. Since it is in
praise of Bhuminatha (i.e. Siva) it is pleasant to hear it sung. I
was seated in the hall, staring at the magazine. Bhagavan felt
that I would not be able to understand it, and so gave me the
gist of the three verses, as follows: “Bhuminatha is the name of
the God in Thiruchuli temple, and Sahaya Valli the name of
the Goddess; this local purana is included in Skanda Purana
under the name of Tirisulapura Mahatmyam.
“‘O Bhuminatha! All the Gods in heaven praised you as
a hero unaided, on the assumption that you achieved victory
by your own powers, unaided by any one in the fight against
Tripurasuras. But you are Ardhanareeswara, half-man and
half-woman; so, what would you have achieved in the fight
against Tripurasuras, if you had not been aided by the Goddess
Sahaya Valli? The left side of your body is hers. Could you
have stretched your bow without her aid?’ That is the meaning.
“‘You are immobile as you are in the form of a
Mountain; without the aid of the Goddess Sakti (energy),
what could you achieve? Therefore it is not true to say that
you are a hero, unaided. You cannot achieve anything
without the aid of our Sahaya Valli. That is the other meaning.
There are many other varieties of special meanings included
in those writings,” said Bhagavan, in an ecstasy of devotion.
It appears that the book Venba Andadhi was received
from the editors of the magazine on the next day. When I
went to the Ashram in the afternoon at 2-30, Bhagavan told
me that the book had been received.
As I took it up to see, Bhagavan told me laughingly,
“Nayana started to compose venba in Sanskrit, but the prasa
(metre) did not agree, and he left off as he found the metre to
be more difficult than arya vritta. He himself said that it is
Sukla Chandas. Lakshmana Sarma at first composed his verses
‘Unnathi Nalubadhi’ in Sanskrit in venba metre but the prasa
and ganas were not right. I corrected only the mangala sloka.
Narasinga Rao composed it in Telugu but that too did not
come out well.” “That is perhaps because there is no suitable
metre in Telugu,” I suggested. “Yes! It is so! It is rather difficult.
I could have composed it, but somehow I did not do so.” I
asked Bhagavan, rather regretfully, “Has Bhagavan stopped
altogether composing in Telugu?” He replied, “You yourself
can do so, if I tell you the ganas. Why should I?” “But I do not
know even the ordinary chandas. How can I know this
specialised variety? Even Nayana could not compose, you said.
If so who else can do it? Bhagavan himself must write.
Bhagavan’s compositions which are in the form of sutras are
very pleasant, aren’t they? You must please favour us (with
your composition),” I requested him earnestly. He did not
utter a word, but remained silent. I felt dejected and went
home with the book.
I could not attend the hall for three days. When I
reached there on the fourth day, Bhagavan gave me bits of
paper and said, “The other day we were talking about ‘venba’
in Telugu. The next day I composed these three verses in
Telugu and then translated them into Tamil. See! They should
be sung in Sankarabharana raga slowly, very slowly.”
“You should give us some more verses on the same
lines!” I requested him. He replied, “Enough! There is no
suitable chandas in Telugu. People would laugh at it! There
is not even a suitable topic to write about! They are all
ordinary words.” “Bhagavan’s voice does not require any
topic in particular. Whatever comes out of his mouth is a
topic, and that is the Veda. If there is no suitable metre in
Telugu, why does Bhagavan not create one?” I said.
Muruganar supported me, and said, “If Bhagavan
composes now and then like this, it will become a volume in
due course. If the Telugu language can get a new metre, is it
not a great gain for it?” Bhagavan did not reply. I copied out
the three venbas for my record.

(96) EKATMA PANCHAKAM

Prev Next    20th February, 1947
In my last letter I wrote to you about Telugu venba. I felt
that it would have been better if Bhagavan had composed some
more verses, but kept quiet for the time being, as I felt I should
not ask unless a suitable opportunity presented itself. When I
reached the hall in the afternoon of the 16th, Bhagavan was
talking to a devotee about venba metre. He saw me and began
to explain the differences between Tamil and Telugu chandas
and said, “It seems once Guha Namasivaya Swamy decided to
compose at the rate of one venba per day. That would be about
360 verses in a year. He composed a number of verses
accordingly, some had been lost and the remaining verses were
printed by his devotees. Quite a number of them are available
now.” “Will it not be beneficial to the world if Bhagavan also
composes similarly?” said the devotees. “I do not know why,
but my mind refuses to move in that direction. What am I to
do?” replied Bhagavan. “But they are so few! If some more are
composed, and if the relative chandas is constructed, it will be a
new treasure for our language!” I said.

“That is all very well, but am I a pandit? If all this is to
be written, one has to study Bhagavatam, Bharatam and all
that. But what am I to write about? What is there to write
about?” he asked.
“Whatever Bhagavan writes will itself be a matter of
interest,” I replied.
He replied, “You write so many verses. Is that not
enough? If you want, get me Pedda Bala Siksha (popular
children’s primer in Telugu), or Sulakshana Saram. I shall tell
you the ganas, and you may compose yourself.” I said, “I
don’t want to write anything. If Bhagavan writes anything, I
shall read it; otherwise not.” He laughed and kept silent.
I went out and began writing something sitting in front
of the verandah. But you see Bhagavan is full of kindness.
As soon as I left the hall, it seems he composed a venba and
read it out to the devotees. He saw me in the evening as he
was going out, looked at me and said, “Here is another venba
I have just now composed. You may see it.” Overwhelmed
with joy, I looked at it and kept it. Bhagavan translated it
into Tamil and told Muruganar, “Am I well read in Telugu?
That is why I try to avoid writing in Telugu, but she keeps
on asking. I raised several objections but she did not agree.
Therefore I had to write.”
“Bhagavan’s saying is destined to come out in this
manner,” said Muruganar. It was 6 p.m. I came home saying
I would copy it the next day. I went to the Hall next morning
at 8 o’clock. On seeing him, Bhagavan said, “Here is another
composed by me last night. They make five in all. They may
be called ‘Atma Panchakam’! But Sankara has already
composed something under the same name. Let us therefore
call them ‘Ekatma Panchakam’. I have already numbered
the verses. You may verify, and copy them out.”
As instructed, I copied them out. On seeing me do that,
several other devotees also copied them and got them by heart.
This afternoon a lady devotee sang the Ekatma Panchakam in
the Hall. When she sang the third verse, commencing ‘thanalo
thanuvunda’ Bhagavan looked at me and said, “See I gave this
example of the cinema when I was in Virupaksha Cave, even
before cinemas became popular. There were no cinemas in
Sankara’s time. Therefore he gave the example, ‘viswam
darpana drisyamana nagari’. He would not have given that
example if there had been cinemas in his time. We have now
got in the cinema a very easy example to give.”

(97) BIRTH

Prev Next    24th February, 1947
Yesterday a lady devotee showed Bhagavan her
notebook in which she had copied out the five verses of
“Ekatma Panchakam”. Bhagavan saw in that notebook two
verses composed by him for his devotees when they first
started celebrating his birthday, and told us the following
incident:
“On one of my birthdays while I was in Virupaksha
Cave, probably in 1912, those around me insisted on cooking
food and eating it there as a celebration of the occasion. I
tried to dissuade them, but they rebelled saying, ‘What harm
does it do to Swamiji if we cook our food and eat it here?’ I
therefore left it at that. Immediately after that they purchased
some vessels. Those vessels are still here. What began as a
small function has resulted in all this paraphernalia and
pomp. Everything must take its own course and will not stop
at our request. I told them at great length, but they did not
listen. When the cooking and eating were over, Iswaraswamy
who used to be with me in those days, said, ‘Swamiji! this is
your birthday. Please compose two verses and I too will
compose two.’ It was then that I composed these two verses
which I find in the notebook here. They run as follows:
1. You who intend to celebrate the birthday, first ascertain
as to whence you were born. The day that we attain a
place in that everlasting life which is beyond the reach of
births and deaths is our real birthday.

2. Even on these birthdays that occur once a year, we ought
to lament that we have got this body and fallen into this
world. Instead we celebrate the event with a feast. To rejoice
over it is like decorating a corpse. Wisdom consists in
realising the Self and in getting absorbed therein.
“This is the purport of those verses. It appears that it
is a custom amongst a certain section of people in Malabar
to weep when a child is born in the house and celebrate a
death with pomp. Really one should lament having left one’s
real state, and taken birth again in this world, and not
celebrate it as a festive occasion.” I asked, “But what did
Iswaraswamy write?” “Oh! He! He wrote, praising me as
an Avatar (incarnation of God) and all that. That was a
pastime with him in those days. He used to compose one
verse and in return I used to compose one, and so on. We
wrote many verses, but nobody took the trouble to preserve
them. Most of the time we two were alone in those days;
there were no facilities for food etc. Who would stay?
Nowadays as all facilities are provided, many people gather
around me and sit here. But what was there in those days?
If any visitors came, they used to stay for a little while, and
then go away. That was all.”
On my request to give me a Telugu translation of those
birthday verses, he wrote one and gave it to me.

(98) SELF (ATMAN)

Prev Next    25th February, 1947
This morning a Gujarati lady arrived from Bombay with
her husband and children. She was middle-aged, and from
her bearing she appeared to be a cultured lady. The husband
wore khaddar, and appeared to be a congressman. They seemed
to be respectable people by the way they conducted themselves.

They all gathered in the Hall by about 10 a.m., after finishing
their bath, etc. From their attitude it could be seen that they
intended to ask some questions. Within fifteen minutes or so
they began asking as follows:
Lady: Bhagavan! How can one attain the Self?
Bhagavan: Why should you attain the Self?
Lady: For shanti (peace).
Bhagavan: So! Is that it? Then there is what is called
peace, is there?
Lady: Yes! there is.
Bhagavan: All right! And you know that you should
attain it. How do you know? To know that, you must have
experienced it at some time or other. It is only when one
knows that sugarcane is sweet, that one wishes to have some.
Similarly, you must have experienced peace. You experience
it now and then. Otherwise, why this longing for peace? In
fact we find every human being is longing similarly for peace;
peace of some kind. It is therefore obvious that peace is the
real thing, the reality; call that ‘shanti’, ‘soul’, or ‘Paramatma’
or ‘Self’ — whatever you like. We all want it, don’t we?
Lady: Yes! But how to attain it?
Bhagavan: What you have got is shanti itself. What can I
say if some one asks for something which he has already got? If
it is anything to be brought from somewhere, effort is required.
The mind with all its activities has come between you and your
Self. What you have to do now is to get rid of that.
Lady: Is living in seclusion necessary for sadhana, or is
it enough if we merely discard all worldly pleasures?
Bhagavan merely answered the second part of the question
by saying, “renunciation means internal renunciation and not
external,” and kept silent.
The dinner gong sounded from the dining hall.
What can Bhagavan reply to the earlier part of the last
question of this lady who has a large family? She is also educated
and cultured. Bhagavan used to speak similarly to householders;
and there is a ring of appropriateness about it. After all, is internal
or mental renunciation so easy as all that? That is why Bhagavan
merely replied that renunciation means internal renunciation
and not external. Perhaps the next question would have been,
“what is meant by ‘internal renunciation’?” and there would
have been a reply if the dinner gong had not intervened. I
returned to my abode where I live in seclusion. You see God
has allotted to each individual what is apt and appropriate.
Did Bhagavan ever ask me, “Why are you living alone?”
Or did he mention it to anybody else? Never. If you ask why,
it is because this is appropriate to the conditions of my life.

(99) GURU SWARUPAM (THE GURU’S FORM)

Prev Next    26th February, 1947
This afternoon a Tamil youth approached Bhagavan,
and asked, “Swamiji! Yesterday morning you told the
Gujarati lady that renunciation means internal
renunciation. How are we to attain it? What is internal
renunciation?”
Bhagavan: Internal renunciation means that all vasanas
should be subdued. If you ask me, ‘How to attain that?’ my
reply is, ‘it is attainable by sadhana.’
Question: Sadhana requires a Guru, doesn’t it?
Bhagavan: Yes! A Guru is required.

Question: How is one to decide upon a proper Guru?
What is the swarupa of a Guru?
Bhagavan: He is the proper Guru to whom your mind is
attuned. If you ask, how to decide who is the Guru and what
is his swarupa, he should be endowed with tranquillity, patience,
forgiveness and other virtues capable of attracting others, even
by a mere look, like the magnetic stone, and with a feeling of
equality towards all — he that has these virtues is the true
Guru. If one wants to know the true Guru swarupa, one must
know his own swarupa first. How can one know the true Guru
swarupa, if one does not know one’s own swarupa first? If you
want to perceive the true Guru swarupa, you must first learn
to look upon the whole universe as Guru rupam. One must
have the Gurubhavam towards all living beings. It is the same
with God. You must look upon all objects as God’s rupa. How
can he who does not know his own Self perceive Ishwara rupa
or Guru rupa? How can he determine them? Therefore, first
of all know your own real swarupam.
Question: Isn’t a Guru necessary to know even that?
Bhagavan: That is true. The world contains many great
men. Look upon him as your Guru with whom your mind
gets attuned. The one in whom you have faith is your Guru.
The youth was not satisfied. He started with a list of
great men now living, and said, “He has that defect; he has
this defect. How can they be looked upon as Gurus?”
Bhagavan tolerates any amount of decrying of himself,
but cannot tolerate even a little fault-finding of others. He
said with some impatience, “Oho! you have been asked to
know your own self, but instead you have started finding
fault with others. It is enough if you correct your own faults.
Those people can take care of their faults. It looks as if they
cannot attain salvation unless they obtain your certificate first.
That is a great pity! They are all waiting for your certificate.
You are a great man. Have they any salvation unless you
approve of them? Here you blame them, elsewhere you will
blame us. You know everything, whereas we know nothing,
and we have to be submissive towards you. Yes! we shall do
so. You go and please proclaim, ‘I went to Ramanasramam;
I asked the Maharshi some questions; he was unable to reply
properly, so he does not know anything’.”
The youth was about to speak again in the same strain,
but another devotee prevented him from doing so. Bhagavan
observed it, and said, “Why do you stop him? Let all keep
silent, and let him go on speaking as long as he pleases. He is
a wise man. We must therefore lie low. I have been observing
him ever since his arrival. He was originally sitting in a corner
with all his questions carefully assorted and kept ready bundled
up, as it were. He has since been moving and coming nearer
day by day till at last he has come close enough and has started
asking questions. After hearing the lady questioning me
yesterday, he decided to show off his knowledge and so has
opened his bundle. All that is in it must come out, mustn’t it?
He is going to search the whole world and decide the Guru
swarupa for himself. It seems he has not so far found anybody
with the requisite qualifications for being his Guru. Dattatreya
is the universal Guru, isn’t he? And he has said that the whole
world was his Guru. If you look at evil you feel you should
not do it. So he said evil also was his Guru. If you see good,
you would wish to do it; so he said that good also was his
Guru; both good and evil, he said, were his Gurus. It seems
that he asked a hunter which way he should go, but the latter
ignored his question, as he was intent upon his aim to shoot a
bird above. Dattatreya saluted him, saying, ‘You are my Guru!
Though killing the bird is bad, keeping your aim so steadfast
in shooting the arrow as to ignore my query is good, thereby
teaching me that I should keep my mind steadfast and fixed
on Ishwara. You are therefore my Guru.’ In the same way he
looked upon everything as his Guru, till in the end he said
that his physical body itself was a Guru, as its consciousness
does not exist during sleep and the body that does not exist
should therefore not be confused with the soul —
dehatmabhavana (the feeling that the body is the soul). Therefore
that too was a Guru for him. While he looked upon the whole
world as his Guru, the whole world worshipped him as its
Guru. It is the same with Ishwara. He who looks upon the
whole universe as Ishwara, is himself worshipped by the
universe as Ishwara — yadbhavam tadbhavathi (‘as you conceive
you become’) What we are, so is the world. There is a big
garden. When a cuckoo comes to the garden it will search the
mango tree for fruit while the crow will only search the neem
tree. The bee searches for flowers to gather honey, while the
flies search for the faeces. He who searches for the salagrama
(small holy stone) will pick it up, pushing aside all the other
stones. That salagrama is in the midst of a heap of ordinary
stones. The good is recognised because evil also coexists. Light
shines because darkness exists. Ishwara is there, only if illusion
exists. He who seeks the essence, is satisfied if he finds one
good thing among a hundred. He rejects the ninety-nine and
accepts the one that is good, feeling satisfied that with that
one thing he could conquer the world. His eye will always be
on that single good thing.” Bhagavan said all this in a
resounding voice and then remained silent.
The whole hall was steeped in a dignified silence. The
clock struck four. As though it were the original peacock
that had come to salute the lotus feet of the Arunachala
Ramana that destroyed the demon Surapadma, and to offer
praises to him, the Ashram peacock entered the hall from
the northern side and announced its arrival by giving out a
resounding cry. Bhagavan responded to the cry by saying,
“Aav, Aav” (come, come) and turned his look that side.

(100) NO WASTE

Prev Next    12th March, 1947
Recently Bhagavan wrote the birthday verses and
“Ekatma Panchakam”, didn’t he? He was writing them on
bits of rough paper that absorbed ink and as I felt pained
that the divine letters that looked like a string of pearls should
have been written on bits of rough paper, I said to him, “It
would be better if they are written in a notebook.” “This is
all right,” he replied, “if I write them in a notebook somebody
will recognise my writing and take it away. There is no such
fear now. The Swami is the common property of all.” And
he declined to accept my suggestion.

As some alterations were made this morning in the
birthday verses, I wanted a small piece of white paper to
note them down and paste them in my notebook but on
searching for it in the hall, there was none. I had no patience
to go home to fetch the paper and so, without any hesitation
or fear, I told Bhagavan that I would ask for some from the
office. When I went there, they showed me some nice paper.
I took one sheet for myself and also said that it would be
nice for Bhagavan to write on, if only some sheets of paper
are supplied to him. “Then take them,” they said, and gave
me four sheets. I took them to Bhagavan and suggested that
he should use them for his writings, so that they could
afterwards be pasted in a book. I asked if the paper should
be put on the shelf. He said, “Where is it from? Did you get
it from the office?” I said, “Yes.” Then he said, “Why do I
need it? If you want, you can keep it for yourself. I shall tear
bits of paper from the newspapers, keep them carefully and
write on them. Why do I need such good paper?” As I could
not answer, I put it on the shelf.
It was about 9 a.m. After the post was received and
disposed of, Bhagavan began reading the newspaper. He
saw there a blank portion of about four inches. He began
folding it and tearing it off. He was smiling at me, but I
could not understand why. After tearing it off he folded it
nicely and, putting it on the shelf said, “Look, I shall use this
paper for my writings. How else could I get any paper?
Where can I go to get any? Isn’t this good enough for my
writings?” I replied, “So this is to teach us a lesson. Bhagavan
is always teaching us lessons, but we are not learning them.”
Bhagavan smiled and kept quiet.
Sometimes people here who receive books by post bring
the books into the hall together with the papers wrapped
around them. Bhagavan nicely folds the wrapping and says
to the attendants, “Look! Keep this carefully. We shall cover
some other book with it. How can we get such paper if we
need it? What is thus acquired is a net gain.” Daily the inward
letters are brought from the office for Bhagavan’s perusal.
Amongst them, officials like you fold the paper and write on
one side, leaving the rest unused. Bhagavan tears off such
bits of unwritten paper and keeps them. The same is the
case with pins. After reading the papers, the pins are taken
out and handed over to the attendants, saying, “These will
be useful when we want them. They will otherwise be merely
thrown away. We shall use them. How should we get new
ones? They have to be bought. Where is the money?”
While living on the hill, Bhagavan personally used to
prepare ladles, spoons, cups and the like from out of coconut
shells. Till recently he was making cups and spoons of coconut
shells and polish them like ivory and tell the attendants,
“Look, keep these carefully. They will be useful on occasions.
How could we get silver and gold articles? These are our
silver cups and golden spoons. The hands won’t get burnt.
They won’t be contaminated like metalware. It will be pleasant
to use them.” Not only that, when he takes any refreshments
or Malayalam kanji (gruel) Bhagavan uses only those articles.
Whenever Batavia or Kamala oranges and the like are
received, the skins are not allowed to be thrown away, and
chutneys and pickles are made out of them. They are also
used in soup or put to other such uses. Besides this, while
taking food, not a morsel is thrown away or discarded. He
thus shows us, by his own example, that not a single useful
article should be wasted.
If someone brings roses and presents them, Bhagavan
presses them against his eyes, puts them on the clock, eats
the petals when they get dry and fall off and gives some of
them to those near him. Once when someone brought a rose
garland, it was used to decorate the idol in the Mother’s
temple and afterwards thrown out by the priests into a waste
basket along with other flowers. Bhagavan saw that when he
went out and, getting angry with them, collected all the petals
and had them mixed with payasam (pudding), which thus
got a delicious flavour and excellent taste. On his way to the
hill, if he chances to see any useful leaves, he will pluck them
along with his attendants, give instructions about cooking
them and thus arrange for a delicious dish. He likes
preparations which do not cost anything rather than those
that are costly. All this may appear to be quite commonplace,
but if we think it over carefully, we will find it a good lesson
for us. It means, he teaches us that we could live comfortably
on small means.

(101) DELUSION AND PEACE OF MIND

Prev Next    28th March, 1947
Yesterday a youth arrived from Andhra Pradesh. From
his looks he appeared to be simple-minded. He approached
Bhagavan this morning and asked, “Swamiji! I came here
ten months ago for your darshan. I got a desire to have your
darshan again now, and so immediately set out and came
here. I could not delay even for a moment. Can I do so in
future also, whenever I have such a desire?”
Bhagavan replied, “Whatever happens, happens.

Everything happens according to what we deserve. Why
worry in advance about it?”
He again asked, “Can I come whenever I have such a
desire at any time in the future? Or, should I suppress the
desire?”
“Things happen of their own accord, if you stop thinking
ahead to the future,” replied Bhagavan.
Question: “I am not able to suppress this desire even for
a moment. Is it a self-deception?”
Bhagavan looked at me with a smile, and said, “It seems
he came here some time ago, and again had a desire to come
here now, and so he came immediately. He is asking me
whether he may do so whenever he has such a desire in
future.”
The youth intervened and said, “Whenever I get the
desire to see Bhagavan, I am not able to control it even for a
moment. I am only asking whether it is mere mental
delusion.”
I said, “How can a desire to have darshan of a great
person be mere mental delusion? While there are so many
delusions of the mind to be controlled and suppressed, does
this desire alone appear to you to be a mental delusion?”
There was no further question.
There were some Andhra visitors in the hall who had
come there on pilgrimage. One of them got up and asked,
“Swamiji! How does the soul attain peace?” Bhagavan replied,
laughing, “What! What is peace for the soul?” “No, no! I
mean for the mind.” “Oh! for the mind! The mind attains
peace if the vasanas are suppressed. For that, one must
enquire and realise who one is. How can one get peace by
merely saying, ‘I want peace, I want peace!’ without first
enquiring what is peace? First make efforts to recognise and
realise what already exists.”
There was a Pandit among them. He asked, “Life itself
becomes extremely hard in some places. How is one to
perform sadhana in such places?”
Bhagavan replied, “The place is within you; you are
not in the place. When you are in all places, where is the
question of difficulties in some places, and not in others? All
are within yourself. How can they cause you difficulties?”
“But we get no peace of mind at all in some places,” he
protested and Bhagavan replied, “That which always exists
is peace. That is your natural state. You are not able to
recognise your natural state. You get deluded by aberrations
which are unreal and feel sorry that there is no peace. If you
realise your self, all places will become equally suitable for
sadhana.”

(102) MOTHER ALAGAMMA

Prev Next    3rd April, 1947
The other day there was a talk in Sri Bhagavan’s
presence about old songs. Bhagavan said, “Mother used to
sing ‘Dakshinamurthy Stotra’ and other Vedantic songs. They
used to be full of meaning. Nobody cares about them
nowadays but it would be very good if they were edited and
published.”
On hearing that, I remembered about the old philosophic
songs in Telugu also and felt that it would be beneficial
spiritually to our ladies if those songs also could be edited and
published, and wrote an article about it. In it I mentioned the
“Appalam Song”* which assumed much prominence in
Bhagavan’s teachings to Mother Alagamma, and which is
considered to be one of the best of songs. When I told
Bhagavan that I wanted to send the article to the Telugu
magazine Griha Lakshmi, he asked me to read it out to him.

On hearing it, Bhagavan said, “There is a big story about this
song,” and at my request he was pleased to narrate it.
“In the early days when Mother came to stay with me
in Virupaksha Cave, there was no cooking. If Echamma or
anybody else brought her any food she used to eat it, clean
the vessels and then go to bed. That was all. One day she
thought I had nothing special to eat and as I was fond of the
twin appalams, she thought it would be a good idea to make
some for me. Being well experienced, she could not refrain
from making them. Without my knowledge she asked the
Mudaliar old lady, Echamma and some others to get
everything ready and one evening she set out, saying that
*Appalam in Tamil, Poppadam in Malayalam, Appadam in Telugu, is a
very thin, round cake made of black gram flour fried crisp.
she was going to the village. I wanted to see where she was
really going, and so when she left, I waited silently under
the tree outside. She thought I did not know anything. She
went to several houses, collected all the required things in a
big vessel and returned. I closed my eyes and pretended
complete ignorance. She put them away carefully in the cave
till all the visitors left. After nightfall, I had my usual meal
and lay down pretending to sleep. Leisurely, she took out
the wooden roller, wooden seat, loose flour and the balls of
paste and commenced making appalams. There were about
two to three hundred to be made. She could not prepare
them all single-handed. I knew the job. So she quietly began
telling me, ‘My boy, please help me with it.’ I got the
opportunity I was waiting for. If I were lenient in this, she
would start something else. I wanted to put a timely stop to
it. I said, ‘You have renounced everything and have come
here, haven’t you? Why all this? You should rest content
with whatever is available. I won’t help you. I won’t eat them
if you prepare them. Make them all for yourself, and eat
them yourself.’ She was silent for a while and again started
saying, ‘What, my dear son, please help me a little.’ I was
adamant. She continued to call me again and again. Feeling
it was no use arguing any more, I said, ‘All right. You make
these appalams; I will make another kind’, and I started
singing this ‘Appalam Song’. She used to sing a rice song,
soup song and other such songs, all with Vedantic meanings.
None appears to have written an appalam song. So I felt I
should compose one. She was very fond of songs. So she felt
that she could learn another song. By the time the
preparation of the appalams was over, my song also was
finished. ‘I will eat this appalam (the song about the appalams),
and you eat those that you have made,’ I told her. That
happened sometime in 1914 or 1915.”
“What a big story! I wrote it in brief in this essay. This
won’t do,” I said. “Why all this in that essay?” asked Bhagavan.
I said I would write all this in my “Letters” (to my brother)
and Bhagavan agreed to it. He was then reminded of some
other incident, and said, “Some time after the ‘Appalam Song’
was composed, we all set out one day on giri pradakshina.
Someone said, ‘Swamiji! Please tell us the meaning of the
“Appalam Song”’. I started explaining thus: ‘Take the words
‘thanugani pancha kosa kshetramunnada (in the body with the
five elements)’ — there are many authorities about the ‘pancha
kosa kshetra’ in the Bhagavad Gita and other Vedantic texts. I
quoted them all. Similarly for every word there are many
authorities. I gave them all, explaining their meanings and
significance. We finished our round of the hill, returned to
the Virupaksha Cave and sat down. I was still explaining. All
the essence of the Vedanta is incorporated in that one song. If
properly commented upon, it would make a big volume by
itself.”
I said, “It would have been good if somebody had
recorded all that when Bhagavan explained. Who can
comment upon the song as Bhagavan does! Why not
somebody record it even now?”
“That is all very well!” he said laughing. After hearing
all the commentary, I said, “I am not satisfied with this article
and so I will not send it to Griha Lakshmi.” Bhagavan said,
“Just as you please,” and resumed his talk, “Though I was
remonstrating with my mother, she slowly started cooking,
first a vegetable, then soup, and so on. We went to
Skandasramam afterwards. She used to wander all over the
hill, gather something or other, and say, ‘He likes this
vegetable and that fruit’. She took no notice of my
remonstrations. Once, while she was coming to the jungle at
this side, her saree got in a thorny bush. It was only then
that this path was cleared of all bushes and the like. She said
she would not leave me and go anywhere else. If she went
anywhere, she was afraid that she might die there. She was
particular that she should die in my arms. When Alamelu
(Bhagavan’s younger sister) built a new house in their village
near Manamadurai, she begged mother just to go over there
and see the house. She said it was enough if she (mother)
just set her foot in it. But she never went. She declined
because she was afraid that in case she fell ill there, there
might not be trains running properly at that time to bring
her back here and in that case, she might not die in her son’s
arms. She used to say, ‘Even if you were to throw away my
dead body in these thorny bushes I do not mind but I must
end this life in your arms.’” As he was saying that, his voice
began to falter through emotion. My eyes got moist. I said,
“Renunciation should be as firm as that with everybody.”
“Yes, yes!” he said and was silent. Because she said, “Even if
you were to throw away my body in these thorny bushes,”
we now see that the place of her burial is adorned by a temple
fit to be worshipped by kings and emperors.

(103) HUMAN EFFORT

Prev Next    4th April, 1947
A devotee who was a frequent visitor to the Ashram
arrived two or three days ago. Ever since his arrival he has
been looking all round the hall frequently. I was expecting
him to ask Bhagavan some questions. This afternoon he sat
near Bhagavan and slowly commenced asking questions:
“Swamiji! Everyone in this hall is seated with his eyes closed.

Do all of them get results?” “Certainly! Each person will get
results according to his thoughts,” Bhagavan replied
humorously.
Question: Vasishtam also says the same thing. In some
places it is stated that human effort is the source of all
strength. In others it is said that it is all divine grace. It is not
clear which of them is correct.
Bhagavan: Yes, they say that there is no God other than
the karmas of the previous birth, that the karma done in the
present birth in accordance with sastras is known as
purushakara, (human effort), that the previous and present
karmas meet for a head-on fight like rams, that the one that
is weaker gets eliminated. That is why they say one should
strengthen purushakara. If it is asked what is the origin of
karma, they say, such a question should not be raised as it is
like the eternal question, which is earlier, the seed or the
tree? Such a question is for mere argument and not for
deciding finally what is what. That is why I say, first find out
who you are. If one asks ‘Who am I? How did I get this dosha
(fault) of life?’ then there will be Self-realisation. Dosha will
get eliminated and shanti will be obtained. Why even obtained?
It (the Self) remains as it IS.”
In Vasishtam, in the second canto of Mumukshu Vyavahara,
there are slokas containing this bhava (import):
kae=h< kwmy< dae;> s,
Nyayeneit pramzaeR ivcar #it kWyte.


ivcarat! }ayte tÅv< tÅvaiÖïaiNtraTmin,
Atae mnis zaNtTv< svRdu>opir]y>.
‘Who am I? How did this faulty samsara come into being?’
Such investigation is known as the ‘Path of Enquiry’
(Vichara). By Vichara, Reality is understood, and such
understanding brings repose in the Self; then follow
tranquillity of mind and cessation of all sorrow.

(104) HEADSHIP OF A MUTT*

Prev Next    5th April, 1947
The same devotee who questioned Bhagavan yesterday
about human effort in the individual’s action, today told him
about his ill health, treatment by doctors and services
rendered to him by his servants and said, “Swamiji! We are
unable to keep this body of ours in good condition and so
entrust it to the care of doctors and servants. When the body
itself is not under our control, what is the use of people
talking of reforming the world?”
Do you know that for the last five or six months
Bhagavan is not allowing anybody to touch his legs or
massage them with oil, and that he himself does it whenever
necessary? Hence he did not reply to the devotee’s question
immediately, but in the evening, when the devotees all
gathered, he began massaging his legs with oil, and looking
at the questioner with a smile, said, “We are our own doctors
and our own servants.” Again the questioner said, “What
are we to do if we do not have strength like Bhagavan’s to
attend to our own work?” Bhagavan’s reply was, “If we have
the strength to eat, why should we not have the strength to
do this?” The questioner could not say anything and so kept
silent with bent head. Just then the post arrived. After looking
through the letters, Bhagavan began narrating as follows:
* A Mutt is an independent monastary.

“Once a certain sannyasi was anxious to be the head of a
mutt. He had to have disciples, you see. He tried his level best
to secure some. Any one who came, soon found out the limited
knowledge of the person and so went away. No one stayed on.
What could he do? One day he had to go to a city. There he
had to keep up his position, but he had no disciple. ‘No one
must know this’, he thought. His bundle of clothes was on his
head. So, he thought he would place the bundle in some house
unobserved and then pretend to go there afterwards. He
wandered throughout the place. Whenever he tried to step
into a house, he found a number of people in front of it. Poor
chap! What could he do? It was almost evening. He was tired.
At last, he found a house with no one in front. The door was
open. Greatly relieved, he placed the bundle in one corner of
the house and then sat in the verandah. After a while the lady
of the house came out and enquired of him who he was. ‘Me! I
am the head of a mutt in such and such a place. I came to this
city on some work. I heard that you were good householders. I
therefore sent my belongings through my disciple to put them
in your house, thinking that we could put up with you for the
night and go away next morning. Has he done so?’ ‘No one
has come, sir,’ she said. ‘No, please check. I asked him to put
the bundle here, go to the bazar and get some things. Kindly
see if he has put it in any corner,’ he said. When the lady
searched the house, she saw the bundle in one corner.
Thereupon her husband and she welcomed him and gave him
food and a room to sleep in. Rather late in the night, they
asked, ‘How is it, sir, your disciple has not come yet?’ He said,
‘Perhaps that useless fellow has eaten something in the bazar
and is wandering about. You please go to bed. If he comes, I
will open the door for him.’
“That couple had, by then, understood the sannyasi’s
true position. They thought they would see further fun and
so went into the house to lie down. Then the person started
his pretensions. He opened the door and closed it, making a
loud noise so as to be heard by the members of the household.
He then said loudly, ‘Why! What have you been doing so
long? Take care, if you do it again, I shall beat you black and
blue. Be careful henceforth.’ Changing his tone thereafter,
he said in a plaintive voice, ‘Swami, Swami please excuse
me. I shall not do it again.’ Assuming the original tone, he
said, ‘All right. Come here, massage my legs, here; no, there;
please hit lightly with your fists. Yes, a little more.’ So saying,
he massaged his own legs and then said, ‘Enough; it is rather
late, go to bed.’ So saying he went to sleep. There was a hole
in the wall of the room where the couple were staying and
through it they saw the whole farce. In the early morning
the sannyasi again began repeating the evening’s performance,
saying, ‘You lazy fellow! The cocks have begun to crow. Go
to so and so’s house and come back after doing such and
such work.’ So saying, he opened the door, pretended to send
him away and went back to bed. The couple saw this also. In
the morning he bundled up his belongings, put the bundle in a
corner, and went to a tank nearby for bathing, etc. The couple
took the bundle and hid it somewhere. The sannyasi returned
and searched the whole room but the bundle was not found
anywhere. So he asked the lady of the house, ‘Where is my
bundle?’ The couple then replied, ‘Sir, your disciple came here
and took away the bundle saying you wanted him to bring it to
you. It is the same person who massaged your legs last night.
He must be round the corner. Please see, Swami.’ What could
he do then? He kept his mouth shut and started going home.”

(105) REGULATING SLEEP, DIET AND MOVEMENTS

Prev Next    6th April, 1947
Yesterday, a devotee asked Bhagavan, “Swamiji! One
has to meditate in order to enquire about his self. When I sit
for meditation, I go to sleep. What can I do? Is there any
way out?” Bhagavan replied, “First learn to be awake when
you are in the wakeful state. Then we can think of the sleeping
state. We dream of many things even when we are awake.

We must learn to guard ourselves against them in our waking
state. All that we see about us is a dream. We should wake
up from this dream world.”
The questioner said, “Sadhana is required to acquire
that carefulness. Whenever I decide upon some method and
try to do sadhana, I get sleepy. Will Bhagavan kindly tell me
how to overcome this sleepiness?”
Bhagavan replied: “Of the avarana-vikshepas (obstructions
and disturbances), the first avarana is sleep. We must try as
far as possible not to succumb to it. We must enquire why we
get sleep and regulate our food, movements, etc. and see that
we do not feel sleepy, but it is no use trying to stop it when
once we are sleepy. Don’t we get sleep if we eat heartily? Then
the head begins to nod as we sit for meditation. It seems some
tie their hair to a nail in the wall to keep them awake. Except
that they wake up when their head nods, what use is it for
dhyana? My boyhood experience of sleep is well known. While
the school lessons were being taught, lest I should fall asleep,
I used to tie a thread to the nail on the wall, and tie my hair to
it. When the head nods, the thread is pulled tight and that
used to wake me up. Otherwise, the teacher used to twist my
ears and wake me up.” So saying, Bhagavan began to laugh.
“Is it possible Bhagavan is concocting all these stories
and telling us?” asked Muruganar.
“No, no! It is true! I used to do all that because I was
afraid the teacher would punish me for not listening to
his lessons. That was the state in those days. In the early
days after my coming here, when I closed my eyes, deeply
absorbed in meditation I hardly knew whether it was day
or night. If at any time I opened my eyes I used to wonder
whether it was night or day. I had no food and no sleep.
When there is movement of the body, you need food. If
you have food, you need sleep. If there is no movement,
you do not need sleep. Very little food is enough to sustain
life. That used to be my experience. Somebody or other
used to offer me a tumblerful of some liquid diet whenever
I opened my eyes. That was all. But one thing: except
when one is in absorbed motionless concentration of mind,
it is not possible to give up sleep or food altogether. When
the body and mind are engaged in the ordinary pursuits
of life, the body reels if you give up food and sleep.
Therefore it must be said that limitation of food and
movement is very necessary for the elevation of the soul.
Great people restrict their sleep to the barest minimum
so that they may not waste their time but use it for the
performance of selfless good deeds. Some say that it is
healthy to go to bed at 10 p.m. and wake up at 2 a.m.
That means that four hours’ sleep is enough. Some say
that four hours’ sleep is not enough, but that it should be
six hours. It amounts to this, that sleep and food should
not be taken in excess. If you want to cut off either of
them completely, your mind will always be directed towards
it. Therefore the sadhaka should do everything in
moderation,” said Bhagavan.
This is what is stated in the Bhagavad Gita:
naTyîtStu yaegae=iSt n cEkaNtmnît>,
n caitSvßzIlSy ja¢tae nEv cajuRn. (VI:16)
yu ́harivharSy yu ́ceòSy kmRsu,
yu ́SvßavbaexSy yaegae Évit Ê>oha. (VI:17)
Yoga is not for him who eats too much, nor who abstains to
excess, nor who is too much addicted to sleep nor even to
wakefulness. Yoga kills out all pain for him who is regulated
in eating and amusement, regulated in performing actions,
and regulated in sleeping and waking.

(106) DEVOTION WITHOUT IRREGULARITY

Prev Next    7th April, 1947
Yesterday I wrote to you what Bhagavan told us about
moderation in sleep, diet and movements. He teaches this
in various ways by his own practical example. He does not
take milk and is nowadays eating only one iddli for breakfast
daily saying that a man who sits without doing any physical
work does not require two. So also with his midday meal.

Mixed with curry etc., each meal amounts only to about a
handful. Even that he does not eat each dish separately as
we do for taste. He makes a ball of the vegetable, chutney,
soup, etc. and then mixes it with rice and eats. In the course
of the conversation one day, he said, “It would be more tasty
to eat the rice with only one dish instead of so many. Why so
many dishes? We used to eat only a single dish in the olden
days. I have not given up that practice even now. While I
was on the hill many people used to bring rice, fruit and
sweets. Whatever they brought, I used to eat only as much
as could be lifted with three fingers. I used to eat some of
whatever they brought so that the whole day’s intake of the
food eaten did not amount to a handful. That method of
eating used to give me more than happiness. Nowadays they
spread a leaf and serve several things on it. As I cannot waste
anything, I eat them and feel heavy thereafter.”
So also as regards sleep. On special festival occasions
such as the birthday celebrations (Jayanthi) and Maha Puja,
the students do not commence the Vedic recitations at the
Brahma Muhurtham time (a couple of hours before sun rise),
being tired with work on the previous night, but Bhagavan
gets up as usual and keeps himself ready. If he is ever in ill
health and his personal attendants request him to sleep a
little longer, he replies, “What is the point in sleeping at the
time of the Brahma Muhurtham? If you want, you may sleep.”
In Dhanurmasam (December-January), puja starts in
Arunachaleswara temple early in the morning. Bhagavan
wakes up here by that time. People who do the Tamil parayana
may take some time to get up and come here, but he is always
ready to receive them. Of course his movements also are
limited. It is said that all these restrictions are only for sadhaks
and not for Jnanis. But Jnanis also observe all this discipline
for the welfare of the world. They never slip down from the
pinnacle of complete dispassion. Devotion to principle,
determination, etc., which do not transgress Nature’s laws
are normal for them. Their actions are all lessons for us.

(107) BLESSINGS

Prev Next    8th April, 1947
Recently, elder brother’s children, Sastri and Murthi,
wrote a letter to Bhagavan as follows: “To Chiranjeevi
Bhagavan Thathayya (grandfather), Namaskarams. Do you
know of any mantram that gets us whatever we want? If so,
please send it to us in writing immediately. Your
grandchildren, Sastri and Murthi.”
When I said, “What do they mean by writing
‘Chiranjeevi Thathayya?’ Silly” (Chiranjeevi means ‘long life’,
and is used by elders in addressing younger people).

Sundaresa Iyer remarked: “They have written correctly.
Who else can be Chiranjeevi other than Bhagavan? They
bow to the grandfather who lives eternally. They wanted
him to bless them so as to get whatever they want. What is
wrong?” Bhagavan said with a smile, “In my younger days
I wrote a similar letter to my uncle’s son Ramaswamy. I
stayed with them for some time in Dindigul where I was
studying. I came to Tiruchuli during a vacation. I wanted
to write a letter to Ramaswamy. I did not know how to
address him. In the letters written to him by my father I
noticed him writing ‘aseervadams (blessings) to
Ramaswamy’. So I also began to write to him ‘aseervadams
to brother-in-law’. He was older than me and I did not
know that I should have writen ‘namaskarams’. I thought
it would be the same for all people. I realised this mistake
when he laughed at me for this.”
One devotee said, “I believe Bhagavan was very
familiar with that Ramaswamy.” Bhagavan replied, “Yes, in
the place where my picture is now placed in the Sundara
Mandiram in Tiruchuli, there used to be a tape cot. My
father used to sleep on it. No one else but Ramaswamy and
myself could take the liberty of getting on it. When father
was not in town, we two used to sleep on it together. No
one had any familiarity with father except Ramaswamy
because he had no mother, and myself because I was by
nature very free in such matters. Father was a towering
personality.”
That devotee said, “Did that Ramaswamy ever come
here?” Bhagavan said, “He came here once long back. To
move out of his place was a great problem for him. People
who had been here used to tell him about me, it seems. He
had been putting off his visit to this place from time to time
when this Viswanath ran away from home saying he did not
want to marry and came here. He is the son of Ramaswamy.
He thought he could take Viswanath back. After all, it being
the case of his own son, he could not delay coming here.
Viswanath himself got a letter saying that he was coming.
Without telling me that news, he (Viswanath) gave me that
letter saying, ‘the Dindigul mountain has started moving’.
“On looking into the letter I understood what he meant.
Ramaswamy came here the very next day. Recently, while
writing letters to me, he himself has begun writing,
‘namaskarams to Swami’. He writes, ‘Swami should bless me’.
It means he received my blessings even when I was young.
Whoever expected at that time, that it would turn out like
this? I wrote something. That was all.”

(108) A BOUQUET OF PRECEPTS

Prev Next    9th April, 1947
Yesterday morning, a group of Andhras arrived,
and started questioning Bhagavan within ten minutes
of their arrival.

Question: “Bhagavan teaches us always to know
ourselves. He should kindly teach us how to know ourselves,
and bless us.”
Bhagavan’s reply: “The kindness is always there. You
should ask for something that is not there, and not for
something that is there already. You should believe with
all your heart that the kindness is there. That is all.”
Another said: “In the Vedic recitations that are conducted
here daily, they say, ‘thasya sikhaya madhye paramatma
vyavasthithaha’. What is ‘sikhaya madhye’ (in the middle of the
summit)?”
Bhagavan’s reply: “‘Sikhaya madhye’ means, ‘in the middle
of the summit of the fire’ and not ‘in the tuft of the hair of the
Vedas’. It means that the Paramatma resides in the centre of
the fire of Knowledge that is generated by churning of the
Vedas.”
Question: “In what asana is Bhagavan usually seated?”
Bhagavan: “In what asana? In the asana of the heart.
Wherever it is pleasant, there is my asana. That is called
sukhasana, the asana of happiness. That asana of the heart is
peaceful, and gives happiness. There is no need for any other
asana, for those who are seated in that one.”
Another said: “The Gita says, ‘sarva dharman parithyajya
mamekam saranam vraja’ (discard all dharmas and seek refuge
in Me). What are the dharmas that are conveyed by the
expression ‘sarva dharman’?”
Bhagavan: “‘Sarva dharman’ means ‘all the dharmas of
life’. ‘Parithyajya’ means ‘having discarded those dharmas’.
‘Mamekam’ means ‘Me, the Ekaswarupa (the only one Self)’.
‘Saranam vraja’ means ‘take refuge’.”
Question: “The expression ‘hridaya granthi bhedanam’
occurs in Sri Ramana Gita. What is meant by it?”
Answer: “That is what I say, ‘going away’, ‘exit’, ‘extinction
of all vasanas’, ‘destruction of the ego’, ‘I’, ‘destruction of
jivathva’, ‘destruction of the mind’, and so many other names.
All mean the same thing — mano nasanam (destruction of the
mind) is hridaya granthi bhedanam. The word jnanam also
means the same thing — some technical word for the sake of
recognising.”
When the conversation started, an attendant switched
on the fan, finding it to be stuffy in the hall. Bhagavan got it
stopped, remarking ‘why this?’ and turning to those nearby
said, “Look here! Many people ask how anyone can continue
to engage in performing karma after he has become a Jnani.
In reply to that question, in the olden days, they used to
quote the potter’s wheel as a comparison. As the wheel turns
round and round, the pot emerges. Even after the pot is
finished and the turning of the wheel is stopped, the wheel
does not stop revolving for some time longer. In these days
we can cite the example of the electric fan. We switched it
off, but it did not stop revolving for some time after. Similarly,
even after one becomes a Jnani, he does not give up the
physical body so long as actions which he is destined to
perform with it remain unfinished.”
Suddenly a little baby of about eight months began to
prattle “Thatha, Thatha” behind my back. When Bhagavan
heard those sweet words, he lifted his head and asked who it
was. I said, “It is our little child Mangalam.” Bhagavan is very
fond of babies. He said, “Is it she? I thought it is some older
girl. Has she already begun to call out ‘Thatha, Thatha’?”
The child continued to say, “Thatha, Thatha.” Bhagavan said
to those nearby, “See this wonder! Children first begin to say
the word ‘Thatha’ which means ‘than than’. ‘Thanthan’ — ‘it is
its own self’ — is the same with our minds also. The word ‘I’
comes out first, automatically. Only thereafter the words
‘you’, ‘he’, etc. are uttered, just as all other words follow the
word ‘thatha’ in the case of little children. It is only after the
feeling ‘aham’ (ego) comes that the other feelings follow.”
It was nearly 9 o’clock and so Krishnaswamy turned on
the radio to verify the time. After the clock struck nine the
radio ended with the words ‘namaste to all’. Bhagavan smiled
and said, “The radio announcer says, ‘namaste to all’ as if he
and they were different. Is he not one of them? It amounts
to this, that he is saluting himself also. They do not realise
that. That is the strange thing.”

(109) ABSOLUTE SURRENDER

Prev Next    10th April, 1947
This morning, an Andhra youth handed over a letter to
Bhagavan in which it was written: “Swamiji! They say that
one can obtain everything if one takes refuge in God wholly
and solely, and without thought of any other. Does it mean
sitting still at one place, and contemplating God entirely at all
times, discarding all thoughts, including even about food
which is essential for the sustenance of the body? Does it mean
that when one gets ill, one should not think of medicine and
treatment, but entrust one’s health or sickness exclusively to
Providence? From the definition of sthitha prajna given in Gita,
ivhay kaman! y> svaRn! puma,
inmRmae inrh s zaiNtmixgCDit. (II:71)
The man who sheds all longing and moves without
concern, free from the sense of ‘I’ and ‘mine’, he attains
peace.

“It means the discarding of all desires. Therefore should
we devote ourselves exclusively to the contemplation of God,
and accept food, water, etc. only if they are available by God’s
grace, without asking for them? Or does it mean that we
should make a little effort? Bhagavan! Please explain the
secret of this saranagathi.”
Bhagavan saw that letter leisurely and told the people
near him: “Look! ‘Ananya saranagathi’ means to be without
any attachment of thoughts, no doubt, but does it mean to
discard thoughts even of food and water, etc., which are
essential for the sustenance of the physical body? He asks,
‘should I eat only if I get anything by God’s direction, and
without my asking for it? Or should I make a little effort?’
All right! Let us take it that what we have to eat comes of its
own accord. But even then, who is to eat? Suppose somebody
puts it in our mouth, should we not swallow it, at least? Is
that not an effort? He asked, ‘If I become sick, should I take
medicine or should I keep quiet leaving my health and
sickness in the hands of God?’ ‘Kshudvyadeh aaharam’, it is
said. There are two meanings to this. One is, since kshuth,
i.e. hunger, is also like sickness, so for the sickness called
hunger, the medicine called food must be given; the other
is: like medicine for vyadhi (sickness), food for kshuth (hunger)
must be given. In the book Sadhana Panchaka written by
Sankara, it is stated, kshudvyadhischa chikitsyatam pratidinam
bhikshoushadham bhudyatam’. It means, for treatment of the
disease called hunger, eat food received as alms. But then,
one must at least go out for bhiksha. If all people close their
eyes and sit still saying if the food comes, we eat, how is the
world to get on? Hence one must take things as they come
in accordance with one’s traditions and must be free from
the feeling that one is doing them oneself. The feeling that I
am doing it is bondage. It is therefore necessary to consider
and find out the method whereby such a feeling can be
overcome, instead of doubting as to whether medicine should
be administered if one is sick or whether food should be
taken if one is hungry; such doubts will continue to come up
and will never end. Even such doubts as, ‘May I groan if
there is pain? May I inhale air after exhaling?’ also occur.
Call it Ishwara or call it karma — some Karta will carry on
everything in this world according to the development of
the mind of each individual. If the responsibility is thrown
on him (the Karta), things will go on of their own accord.
“We walk on this ground. While doing so, do we consider
at every step whether we should raise one leg after the other
or stop at some stage? Isn’t the walking done automatically?
The same is the case with inhaling and exhaling; no special
effort is made to inhale or exhale. The same is the case with
this life also. Can we give up anything if we want to or do
anything as we please? Quite a number of things are done
automatically without our being conscious of it. Complete
surrender to God means giving up all thoughts and
concentrating the mind on Him. If we can concentrate on
Him, other thoughts disappear. If mano-vak-kaya karmas, i.e.,
the actions of the mind, speech and body are merged with
God, all the burdens of our life will be on Him. Lord Krishna
told Arjuna in the Gita:
AnNyaiíNtyNtae ma< ye jna> pyuRpaste,
te;a< inTyaiÉyu ́ana< yaeg]em< vhaMyhm!. (IX:22)
To those men who worship Me alone, thinking of no other,
to those ever harmonious, I bring full security and attend
to their needs.
“Arjuna had to do the fighting. So Krishna said, ‘Place
all the burden on Me, do your duty; you are merely an
instrument. I will see to everything. Nothing will bother you.’
But then, before one surrenders to God, one should know
who it is that surrenders. Unless all thoughts are given up
there can’t be surrender. When there are no thoughts at all,
what remains is only the Self. So surrender will only be to
one’s Self. If surrender is in terms of bhakti, the burden should
be thrown on God, and if it is in terms of karma, karma should
be performed until one knows one’s own Self. The result is
the same in either case. Surrender means to enquire and know
about one’s own Self and then remain in the Self. What is
there apart from the Self?”
That young man said, “What is the path by which it can
be known?” Bhagavan replied: “In the Gita several paths are
indicated. You are asked to do dhyana. If you are not able to
do it, then bhakti or yoga or nishkama karma. Many more have
been indicated. And one of the paths must be followed. One’s
own self is always there. Things happen automatically in
accordance with the samskaras (the fruits of the actions of
previous births).
“The feeling that the doer is ‘I’ is itself bondage. If the
feeling is got rid of by vichara, these questions do not arise.
Saranagathi is not the mere act of sitting with closed eyes. If
all sit like that, how are they to get on in this world?” While
Bhagavan was speaking the bell of the dining hall rang.
“There goes the bell; should we not go?” So saying with a
smile, Bhagavan got up.

(110) VISIONS IN DREAM

Prev Next    17th April, 1947
The day before yesterday at about 8 or 9 in the morning,
an elderly man of a middle class family, who knew Ayurveda,
came to Bhagavan, prostrated before him and said, “Swami,
this is good for phlegm, take it.” He wanted to give some
medicine. When the attendants tried to prevent him from giving
it, Bhagavan stopped them, took the medicine, and told the
attendants, “Look, he used to give me some medicine or other
now and then from the time I was living on the hill. Let him
give it. Perhaps he has had some dream.” With evident pleasure,
the old man said, “I have not had any dream now, Swami. You
used to have excess of phlegm at this time of the year, didn’t
you? So I have brought it.” So saying he bowed and went away.

As soon as he left, a devotee sitting near Bhagavan asked,
“What about the dream you referred to?” Bhagavan replied:
“Oh that! While living on the hill, one evening I casually
asked Palaniswamy if he had a lime fruit. He said, ‘No’. ‘If
so, don’t worry’, I said. It seems that very night this person
dreamt that I had asked him for a lime fruit. Next morning,
as I came out he was already there and said, ‘Swami, take
this lime fruit!’ ‘Yesterday, I asked him (Palaniswamy) if he
had one. How did you know about it?’ I asked. In reply, he
said, ‘You appeared to me in my dream and told me that
you wanted a lime fruit. That is why I have brought it now’;
and he placed the fruit in my hand. That is how it happened.”
The devotee asked, “Is it a fact that Bhagavan appeared to
him in a dream?” Bhagavan replied with a smile, “I don’t
know. Who knows? He said so. That is all.”
Another devotee asked, “K. K. Nambiar’s notebook also
happened to be brought here in the same way, isn’t it?”
Bhagavan replied, “Yes, that is so. At that time Madhavan
was here. I was telling him to take out from the bureau a
long notebook with a black cover so that I could write a
commentary on Sri Ramana Gita in Malayalam and copy it
out in that notebook. He said he would get it but forgot
about it for four or five days. Meanwhile Nambiar came here
and gave me a notebook of the exact size and description I
was asking for. When I asked him how it was that he had
brought a notebook of the sort I was asking for, he said,
‘Bhagavan appeared to me in a dream and asked me for a
notebook, describing the number of pages, the breadth and
length. When I went to the shop, I found one of the exact
description. I have brought it.’ In the meantime, Madhavan
came. I said to him, ‘Look, here is the book. You have given it
to me, haven’t you?’ He was surprised and, remembering my
instructions, took out my notebook from the bureau which
was found to be exactly of the same size. It was just sufficient
for Sri Ramana Gita with the slokas and the commentary. As
soon as that work was over, Nambiar came and took it away,
saying he would get it printed but at the same time hesitated
to hand over the book containing Bhagavan’s handwriting to
the press. So, he got another copy made, which he sent to the
press and kept the original himself. It must still be with him.
Even Rajagopalan did almost the same thing once. As the
stock of our ink was finished I told the people here once or
twice to replenish it. The next day or the day after he brought
a big jar of ink while returning from some place. When I
asked him how he came to know that the ink was needed
here, he said that Bhagavan appeared to him in a dream and
told him that ink was needed. ‘So I brought it,’ he said. That
is how things happen from time to time,” said Bhagavan.
That devotee said, “They say that Bhagavan himself
told them. Is that a fact?” Bhagavan replied, “What do I
know? They said so. That is all.” The devotee again said,
“Even so, isn’t it surprising that what was needed here should
be seen by them in a dream?” Bhagavan nodded his head in
approval and kept quiet.

(111) DIVINE VISIONS

Prev Next    18th April, 1947
This morning at 8 o’clock, Bhagavan looked at an old
man who was coming into the hall and asked me, “Do you
know who this is?” I said ‘No’. “He is the husband of my cousin
sister who, it is stated in my biography, was suckled by my
mother along with me,” said Bhagavan. (His name is
Manamadurai Ramaswamy Iyer). “What is her name?” I
asked. “Meenakshi,” said Bhagavan. Saying that I had seen
that gentleman from time to time but never known the
relationship, I asked another devotee sitting nearby whether
he knew him. He said, “Why? I know him well. Bhagavan
gave darshan to that lady at the time of her death.” “Is that
so?” I asked Bhagavan with some surprise. Bhagavan replied
thus: “Yes. It happened in her case the same way as in the
case of Nayana at Tiruvottiyur. It seems I went near and
touched her. She got up startled and said, ‘Who is it that has
touched me?’ That is all. She woke up immediately after that.

It transpired subsequently that this happened in the last
moment of her life.”
“Did she tell anyone there about this experience?” I
asked. “We enquired about that but she was not at that time
in a condition to speak,” said Bhagavan. “That means, you
had blessed her with your darshan in the same way as in the
case of Nayana. Would the privilege of the drinking of milk
from your mother go to waste?” I said. “Yes, that is so. Mother
used to give her breast milk to both of us. I was drinking
mother’s milk till I was five years of age. If my father saw, he
used to scold her, saying, ‘What is this giving of milk to a
grown up child like that?’ So I used to wait until he had
gone and then drink milk. Mother had plenty of milk,” said
Bhagavan.
A devotee asked, “Why does Bhagavan call Ganapati
Sastri ‘Nayana’ (Nayana means father)?” “There is a reason
for it,” he replied, “it is my custom to address all people with
respect. Moreover, he was older than me. I therefore always
used to call him Ganapati Sastri Garu. That was very distressing
to him and so he begged me times out of number not to do
so, saying, ‘Am I not your disciple? You should call me by a
familiar name. This is very unfair.’ I did not pay any heed to
his protests. At last one day he insisted on my giving up the
formal way of addressing him and adopting a familiar one.
All his disciples call him ‘Nayana’, you see. So I made it an
excuse and said I too would call him ‘Nayana’ like the others.
He agreed to it because ‘Nayana’ means a child and a disciple
could be addressed as one’s own child. I agreed because
‘Nayana’ also means ‘father’ and hence it would not matter
so far as I was concerned. I was still addressing him in
respectful terms. Whenever I asked him to come here or go
there he was still uncomfortable because after all that he
had done, I continued to talk to him with the respect due to
elders,” said Bhagavan.
I said, “You stated that Meenakshi was not in a condition
to tell others about the darshan she had. That is all right, but
Nayana did tell others about the darshan he had, didn’t he?
In Vedantic language, what do they say about similar
experiences that two people have at the same time?”
Bhagavan said, with a smile, “ They are called ‘divya darshanas’
(divine visions).”

(112) THE WHITE PEACOCK

Prev Next    20th April, 1947
On the 12th instant someone brought a white peacock,
saying it was sent by the Rani of Baroda and offered it as a
gift to the Ashram. On seeing it, Bhagavan said, “Isn’t it
enough that ten or twelve coloured peacocks are here? They
may come to fight with this one because it is of a different
variety. Besides that, it has to be protected against attacks of
cats. Why this? It is better to send it back to its own place.”
That person took no notice but went away leaving the peacock
here. It was thereupon decided that Krishnaswami should
look after its welfare and others should help him.

The other day when I went to the Ashram in the
afternoon Bhagavan was telling the devotees near him about
the peacock. “Look! A merchant manufacturing matchboxes
brought a little deer called Valli and went away similarly leaving
it here. It used to be roaming about in the Ashram. When
Bengalgram dhal and mura muras were mixed together and
placed in a plate, it used to eat all the dhal without spilling
even a grain outside, leaving the mura muras. After some time
when it began going to the forest with the goat-herds, people
who knew that it belonged to the Ashram used to bring it
back here. Subsequently, it used to come back of its own
accord. So we let it go. One day, when some panchamas broke
its leg, hoping to kill and eat it, a person who knew that it
belonged to the Ashram took pity on it and brought it back,
carrying it all the way. It was bleeding. We nursed it but
without success and after some days it breathed its last in my
lap. Annamalaiswami and I built a samadhi near the steps on
the side of the hill yonder.”
Astonished at this, I said, “We see here ourselves what
the ancients said that in Bharatakhanda (India) God comes
down as an Avatar and gives moksha to animals and birds also.”
As the peacock had run away somewhere, Krishnaswami
caught it and brought it back. Bhagavan, placing his hand
on its neck and stroking it up to the heart with the other
hand, said “You naughty chap, where did you go? How can
we manage to look after you if you go away like this? Please
don’t. There will be cruel animals elsewhere. Why not stay
on here?” Thus he cajoled it.
For a long time after that it did not go out of the Ashram
but learnt to go about the various cottages within the Ashram
compound. Seeing that, Bhagavan used to say, “It is now like
the Sarvadhikari.” This afternoon at 2-30 when I went there,
the radio was playing and the electric fan was revolving. The
peacock sat by the side of the radio, with closed eyes as if it
was immersed in dhyana. Seeing that, one person said, “See
how carefully it is listening.” Bhagavan said, “Yes. The peacocks
are very fond of music, especially if it is from the flute.”
“Though this peacock is white, it is the other peacocks
that are really beautiful,” someone said. Pointing to the
peacock, Bhagavan said, “If it is like this, it has a beauty of its
own. Those peacocks have many beautiful colours. This is
pure white without the mixture of any other colours. That
means it is suddha satva (pure self) without the mixture of
other gunas (attributes). See, in Vedantic language, the peacock
also can be taken as an example. Even the other peacocks do
not have so many colours at birth. They have only one colour.
As they grow up, they get many colours. When their tails grow,
they have any number of eyes. See how many colours and
how many eyes! Our mind also is like that. At birth, there are
no perversities. Subsequently, there will be many activities and
ideas, like the colours of the peacock.”

(113) WHICH IS THE FOOT AND WHICH IS THE HEAD?

Prev Next    24th April, 1947
This afternoon at 3 o’clock, a devotee stood near
Bhagavan’s sofa and said, “Swami, I have only one desire,
namely to put my head on Bhagavan’s foot and do namaskar
(obeisance). Bhagavan must grant me this favour.” “Oh! is
that the desire! But then which is the foot and which is the
head?” asked Bhagavan. No reply. After pausing for a while
Bhagavan said, “Where the self merges, that is the foot.”
“Where is that place?” asked that devotee. “Where? It is in
one’s own self. The feeling ‘I’ ‘I’, the ego, is the head. Where
that aham vritti (ego) dissolves, that is the foot of the Guru.”
“It is said that bhakti should be like mother, father, Guru
and god, but if the individual self gets dissolved, how is it
possible to serve them with bhakti?” he asked. Bhagavan said,
“What is the meaning of the individual self getting dissolved?
It means, making that bhakti expansive. Everything is from
one’s own self. Hence, if one is in one’s own self, one gets the
shakti (energy) to broad base them all.” That devotee said,
“Does dissolving one’s self in its own place mean that with
buddhi (developed mind) one discards the annamaya and other
kosas (sheaths of the body) and after that discards buddhi itself?”
Bhagavan replied, “Where do you go if you discard buddhi?
The buddhi remaining in its own state is the knowing of one’s
own state. To eliminate or discard the various elements
mentioned already, buddhi must be used like a punishing rod.

The buddhi is described as of two parts, unclean and clean.
When it is associated with the work of the antahkarana it is
stated to be unclean. That is known as mind and ahankara.
When buddhi is used as a punishing rod to drive away those
things and to give the inspiration of the Self (aham sphurana),
i.e. ‘I’, it is known as clean buddhi. If that is caught and the rest
is discarded, that which is, remains as it is.”
Further questioning was: “It is said that that buddhi must
be made one with Atma. How is that?” Bhagavan replied,
“How can it be made one with Atma when it is not a thing
which comes from outside? It is within oneself. The feeling
or the shadow of Atma is buddhi. If that buddhi, the static
thing, is known, one remains as one’s own self. Some call
that ‘buddhi’, some ‘shakti’ and some call it ‘aham’. Whatever
the name, it must be caught hold of firmly to drive away all
that comes from elsewhere.

(114) SUICIDE

Prev Next    15th May, 1947
This afternoon, a young man from Tiruchirapalli wrote
a letter and handed it over to Bhagavan. The gist of that
letter is, that countless people in the country are suffering
for want of food, that there is any amount of commotion,
that we are unable to see their troubles, that Bhagavan must
give out some plan to alleviate their suffering and that elders
like him should not remain unconcerned like this.

Bhagavan read it and looking at him critically said, “Is
that what you want? You say that you are suffering at the
sight of their troubles. Does that mean that you yourself are
all right unlike them and are happy?” “No, I am also suffering
in one way or other,” said that young man. “Ah! that is the
trouble. You do not know what is your own happiness, and
yet you are worried about others. Is it possible to make all
people similar? If all get into the palanquin, who is to carry it?
If all are kings, what is the point in saying that any one is a
king? Some people will be known as wealthy only if others are
poor. A Jnani can be recognised only when there are ignorant
people. Darkness will be known only when there is light.
Happiness will be known only if there is suffering. Food will
be tasteful only if there is hunger. Hence, help can be rendered
only to the extent possible, but if it is desired to make all
people equally happy, that is never possible. A number of
leaders of the country are working. Some of them say the
work that has been contemplated has not been finished
properly and so they will lecture. What for? People become
leaders one after another and work goes on. There must be
one shakti directing them all. If we throw the burden on that
shakti with the confidence that it can do what is required and
be free from worry, things will somehow go on. Some preach
against the killing of animals. If people do not listen to them,
they say they will fast unto death, ‘We will commit suicide or
we will give up life’. If one says he will commit suicide, if others
do not give up killing animals, is not suicide itself a killing of a
living being? They think suicide is merely leaving the body. Is
not the body a part of the self? Atma is always there, at all
times and all places. Instead of looking at the Self which is
real and permanent, if one looks upon the body, etc. as one’s
own Self, it is suicide. What other murder could there be than
that? He who is able to see his own Self by knowledge and
wisdom will not be moved by whatever conflicts may come
about. He will look upon the sorrows and happiness of the
world as mere acting on a stage. In his view the whole world
is a stage. On that stage the same man once puts on the dress
of a king, another time of a minister, next a servant, washerman,
barber, and many other dresses, and acts appropriately on
each occasion, but as he is conscious of his real Self and knows
that he is not any one of those whose parts he is acting, he
does not worry about the various vicissitudes of life he depicts
on each occasion. In the same manner, the world is a stage of
Ishwara. In that stage you are an actor. You may help to the
extent of your ability, but you cannot make all people equal.
It has not been possible in the past for anybody to do so and it
will not be possible in future either.”
The young man said, “Because of all this, there is no
peace in this world. I am unhappy about that.” “Look, you
have come again to the point where you began,” Bhagavan
replied. “Instead of feeling concerned about there being no
peace in the world, it is better to enquire and find out how
you will get peace in this world. If you give up that objective,
what is the use of worrying yourself about the lack of peace in
the world? If one’s mind has peace, the whole world will appear
peaceful. Tell me, have you that peace?” asked Bhagavan. That
person said, “No.” “Ah! that is the thing. You do not have
peace. You do not know how to secure that peace. If instead
of trying to gain that peace, you attempt to secure peace for
the world, it is like one who has no food, asking for food
himself which, if given, he says he will use to feed any number
of other people. Something like the lame man who said, ‘If
only someone holds me up can’t I beat up the thieves!’”

(115) THE SHAKTI THAT IS, IS ONE

Prev Next    16th May, 1947
Like the young man of yesterday, a North Indian
gentleman handed over to Bhagavan a letter full of
questions, chief amongst them being why Bhagavan does
not try to improve the welfare of the world. After reading
it Bhagavan said, looking at those near, “Yesterday also we
had the same type of question. It is enough if all these people
who preach about working for the welfare of the world,
first work for their own welfare. Unable to enquire who they
are and know that, they think of reforming the world. They
must first find out who it is that is thinking thus. They don’t
do that. And they say, they will reform the world. It is just
like the story of the lame man.”
That questioner said, “Swami, how can Jnanis like you
sit quiet without moving? When there is strife and turmoil
in the world, should they not help in establishing peace?”
Bhagavan replied, “Yes, they should, but how do you know
that Jnanis are not rendering any help? Their remaining
where they are is itself a help to the world. To all outward
appearances they seem to be doing nothing. Supposing
there is a wealthy man. In his dream he goes about begging,
works as a coolly and sweeps the streets. When he wakes
up, he realises that he is not that sort of person and remains
dignified in the thought that he is a wealthy man. In the
same manner, a Jnani may do anything according to his
prarabdha (fate) but he remains unattached and maintains
a dignified aloofness. His shakti works in many ways but he
does not feel happy or unhappy over the success or failure
of his efforts. That is because he sees the world as full of
Brahman and so nothing appears to him to be happy or
unhappy. How can he have feelings of gratification or
sorrow when he does not feel that he is in this body, that he
is in this man or that this is the world? Accordingly it is
said: ‘dristim jnanamayeem kritva pasyeth Brahmamayam jagath’,
when a person gains the outlook of a Jnani that very moment
everything appears to be full of Brahman. Where then is
room for the feeling ‘I am doing?’ They will then realise
that everything is going on through the force of some shakti.

That is all,” said Bhagavan.
Another person said, “Jnanis are said to be capable of
cursing and giving boons. You are saying that they have
nothing to do. How is that?” Bhagavan replied, “Yes. Who
said they are not capable? But they do not have the feeling
that they are one thing and the shakti or Ishwara is another.
The force, that is, is only one. They realise that they are
moving because of that shakti and keep themselves from the
feeling that they are the doers. Their presence itself is of use
to the world. They do whatever acts they have to in accordance
with their prarabdha. That is all.”

(116) PRARABDHA (FATE)

Prev Next    17th May, 1947
This morning at 9 o’clock one devotee addressed
Bhagavan as follows: “Swami, you said yesterday that a Jnani
will perform such actions as are ordained according to his
prarabdha. But it is said that Jnanis have no prarabdha at all!”
Bhagavan said, in a leisurely way, “How did they get this
body if they have no prarabdha? How do they perform the various
actions? The actions of Jnanis are themselves called prarabdhas. It
is stated that there is prarabdha from Brahma right up to Sadasiva
and the Avatars of Rama and Krishna and others also.

pirÇa[ay saxUna< ivnazay c Ê:k«tam!,
xmRs


For the protection of the good, for the destruction of
evildoers, for the sake of firmly establishing dharma
(righteousness), I am born from age to age.
Bhagavad Gita, IV: 8
“As stated in this sloka, Ishwara assumes a shape when
the virtues of good people and the sins of bad people mingle
and become prarabdha and he has to establish dharma. That
is called parechcha prarabdha (the acts of other people). The
body itself is prarabdha. The purpose for which that body
has come into existence will get done of its own accord.”
The questioner of yesterday said, “In the Gita, Karma
Yoga has been given greater prominence.” “Oho! Is that
so? Karma Yoga is not the only one. What about the others?
If you understand them all, you will know the real secret of
Karma Yoga; only you don’t do that,” said Bhagavan.
Ah< 3turh< y}> SvxahmhmaE;xm!,
mNÇae=hmhmevaJymhmi¶rh< ÷tm!. IX: 16
I am the oblation, I am the sacrifice, I the offering, the
fire-giving herb, the mantram; also the clarified butter, the
fire, and the burnt-offering.
Before saying this, Lord Krishna in the Gita has said:
n c ma< tain kmaRi[ inb×iNt xnÃy,
%dasInvdasInms ́< te;u kmRsu. IX: 9
Nor do these works bind me, O Dhananjaya, enthroned
on high, unattached to actions.
Besides this:
%dasInvdasInae gu[EyaeR n ivcaLyte,
gu[a vtRNt #Tyev yae=vitóit ne1⁄4te. XIV: 23
He who, seated as a neutral, is unshaken by the qualities
(gunas), who stands apart immovable saying, ‘the gunas
revolve’.
And:
smÊ>osuo> SvSw> smlaeòaZmka,
tuLyiàyaiàyae xIrStuLyinNdaTms. XIV: 24
Balanced in pleasure and pain, self-reliant, to whom a
lump of earth, rock, and gold are alike, the same to loved
and unloved, firm, the same in censure and in praise.


And again:
manapmanyaeStuLyStuLyae imÇairp]yae>,
svaRrMÉpirTyagI tu[atIt> s %Cyte. XVI: 25
The same in honour and dishonour, the same to friend
and foe, abandoning all undertakings — he is said to have
crossed over the qualities (gunas).
“That is what has been stated. The Mahapurushas (great
personages) mentioned above, are realised souls. Whatever
outward shape they may have, sishya (disciple), bhakta (devotee),
udaseena (the unconcerned) and papatma (sinner), all the people
in these four categories are protected through the grace of
the Jnanis. The sishyas worship them as gurus, ascertain the
truth and attain mukti (freedom from bondage). Bhaktas pray
to them as the swarupa (form) of God and get release from
their sins. Udaseenas listen to what the Guru says, get enthused
and become devotees. Sinners hear the stories from people
that come and go and get release from their sins. People in
these four categories are protected by the grace of Jnanis,”
said Bhagavan.
Someone said, “You said that bad people will be released
from their sins. Is that by listening to what others say or by
talking amongst themselves?” “It is by hearing what others
say. They are sinners, aren’t they? How will they talk about
good people?” said Bhagavan. Yesterday’s questioner asked,
“You said sinners will get released. Does that mean from
their bodily or mental ailments?” “It is for the mind only,”
Bhagavan replied, “happiness is possible only if the mind is
right. If the mind is not right, whatever else may be, there is
no peace. The mind becomes ripe according to each person’s
fitness. A nastik (an agnostic) becomes an astik (a believer), an
astik becomes a bhakta, a bhakta becomes a jignasu (one desirous
of Knowledge) and a jignasu becomes a Jnani. This refers to
the mind only. What is the use of saying it refers to the body?
If the mind is happy, not only the body but the whole world
will be happy. So one must find out the way of becoming
happy oneself. One cannot do this except by finding out
about oneself by Self-enquiry. To think of reforming the world
without doing that is like thinking of covering the whole
world with leather to avoid the pain caused by walking on
stones and thorns when the much simpler method of wearing
leather shoes is available. When by holding an umbrella over
your head you can avoid the sun, will it be possible to cover
the face of the whole earth by tying a cloth over it to avoid
the sun? If a person realises his position and stays in his own
self, things that are to happen will happen. Things that are
not to happen will not happen. The shakti that is in the world,
is only one. All these troubles arise if we think that we are
separate from that shakti.”

(117) SEEING A LION IN A DREAM

Prev Next    18th May, 1947
This afternoon, at 3 o’clock, another series of questions
started. “Brahman is said to be Sat-Chit-Ananda Swarupa. What
does that mean?” said one. “Yes. That is so,” Bhagavan replied,
“That which is, is only Sat. That is called Brahman. The lustre
of Sat is Chit and its nature is Ananda. These are not different
from Sat. All the three together are known as Sat-Chit-Ananda.

It is the same in regard to the attributes of the jiva-satvam,
ghora and jadam. Ghoram means the quality of rajas, and jadam
means the quality of tamas. Both these are parts of Satvam. If
these two are removed, what remains is only Satvam. That is
the truth which is eternal and pure. Call it Atman, Brahman,
Shakti or anything you like. If you know that that is yourself,
everything is lustrous. Everything is Ananda.”
That questioner said, “The ancients say that for a person
who wants to know that real state sadhana, sravana, manana,
and nididhyasana are absolutely necessary till the very end.”
Bhagavan replied, “They are necessary only to get rid of the
various things that come from outside and that too for
purposes of sadhana only, but not for realising the Self. One’s
own self is there at all times and in all places. Sravana, etc.,
are to be resorted to only to get rid of external influences,
but if they are regarded as the most important things they
will be the cause of the development of the feelings of
ahankara, such as ‘I am a pandit’ (learned man), ‘I am a great
man’ and the like. That is a big samsara (family). It is difficult
to get rid of it later on. It is bigger than a wild elephant. It
will not yield ordinarily.
“For that wild elephant, it is said that Guru Kataksham
(the Grace of the Guru) is like seeing a lion in its dream,”
said the questioner. “That is true. If an elephant sees a lion
in its dream, it wakes up startled and will not sleep again
that day for fear that the lion might appear again in a dream.
In the same way in a man’s life which is also akin to a dream,
it is not Guru Kataksham alone, but also sravana, manana,
nididhyasana, etc., that are akin to the sight of a lion in a
dream. As they go on getting these dreams they wake up,
and again go to bed and by efflux of time they may some
day get a lion’s dream called Guru Kataksham in an intense
manner. They get startled and obtain jnana. Then there will
be no more dreams and they will not only be wakeful at all
times but will not give room for any dreams of life but will
remain alert until that true and real knowledge is obtained.
These lion’s dreams are unavoidable and must be
experienced,” said Bhagavan.
With some surprise, that questioner said, “Are sravana
etc. and Guru Kataksha akin to dreams?” “Yes, that is so. For
those who realise the truth, everything is akin to a dream.
That being so, what do you now say is the truth? During
sleep you have no control over this body. You wander about
in various places with different bodies. You do all sorts of
things. At that time everything appears real. You do
everything as if you are the doer. It is only after you wake up
that you feel that you are a Venkiah or a Pulliah, that what
you had experienced in the dream is unreal and that it was
only a dream. Not only that. Sometimes you go to bed after
eating your fill at night — sweets such as laddu and jilebi.
During sleep you dream that you are wandering in all sorts
of places, cannot get food and are about to die of starvation.
When you get up startled, you will be belching. Then you
will realise that the whole thing was a dream. But during
that sleep, did you remember about this (your overeating)?
Another person goes to bed suffering from starvation. In his
dream, he enjoys a feast, eating laddu and jilebi. Will he
remember at that time the fact that he had gone to bed
hungry? No, he wakes up and finds himself terribly hungry.
‘Oh God! It is all illusion, a mere dream,’ he thinks. That is
all. You were existent in the wakeful state as well as in the
dream state and also in the sleeping state. When you are
able to understand your state which had been existent all
the time, you will then understand that all the rest is like a
dream. When that is known, the feeling that the Guru is
different from you will disappear. But then, since this
realisation must come about because of Guru Kataksha, that
Guru Kataksha is likened to a dream of a lion. That dream
must be intense and must imprint itself in one’s mind. It is
only then that a proper wakefulness will come about. For
that, the time must be propitious. If sadhana is performed
relentlessly, some time or other favourable results turn up.
That is all.” So saying, Bhagavan assumed a dignified silence.
The clock struck four. The people in the hall who were
completely absorbed in this spiritual discourse of Bhagavan,
came back to their own consciousness. The voice of Bhagavan
was ringing in my ears. I returned, wondering whether at
any time in this life I would get that lion’s dream of Guru
Kataksha and get it imprinted on my mind.

(118) WHERE IS THE KING AND WHERE IS THE KINGDOM?

Prev Next    19th May, 1947
This afternoon, during a conversation regarding old
Sankara Vijayam, Bhagavan asked one devotee whether it was
not a fact that amongst all books on the life of Sankara,
Sankara Vijayam of Vidyaranya was the best. “He was a great
scholar and so his book is taken as an authority by all,” said
that devotee. Bhagavan said, with a smile, “Yes, his mental
powers were very great. He was a great votary of Sri Vidya,
you see. He therefore wanted to create a city in the shape of
Sri Chakra (wheel) and started doing it in Hampi but could
not complete it. So he said that an emperor in future would
rule the country and would be able to build a city in the
shape of a Sri Chakra. When I told Nayana about this while I
was on the hill, he made a peculiar comment, namely: ‘Sri
chakrakriti sona saila vapusham, sri shodasarnatmakam occurs in
‘Arunachala Ashtaka Stotram’ written by Sri Sankara. Besides
this in Arunachala Purana, it is stated that this hill is reputed
to be in the shape of Sri Chakra. Hence, without searching
for it, we have been lucky in getting this place which is in the
shape of Sri Chakra. Bhagavan is the Chakravarthi (Emperor).

If about ten houses are built around the hill, this itself is a
great empire. Sankara must have intended this only,’ so said
Nayana. He followed it up by arranging the whole
administrative set up by saying, ‘Here is the commander-
in-chief, that man is the treasurer, he is this, he is that.’ It
used to be very amusing when he was here. All used to sit
together and say, ‘What are the refreshments today for our
Durbar?’ Then they used to draw up a programme, cook,
and eat. They used to conduct the programme as if they
were ruling an empire. This Sundaresan and that Kalyanam,
were they like this then? Oh! Each person used to be highly
active and hilarious. They used to think that they were great
warriors,” said Bhagavan.
“When was all that?” asked Sivanandam. “That was
while we were in Virupaksha Cave. Nayana actually drew
up a plan on paper for the city to be built. A special place
was allotted for me in that plan. Afterwards he used to draw
up plans suitable for the administration of the empire. No
king, no kingdom — plans, however, were got ready. Many
plans were prepared like that. Where was the king? Where
was the kingdom?” asked Bhagavan. Subba Rao, a disciple
of Nayana, said, “Why, was there no king? He is just opposite
to us. Only this king wears a loin cloth. What is wanting?
Haven’t houses been built around the hill? Isn’t the place
where Bhagavan sits, like a king’s palace? The whole
administration here is going on like a king’s household. Only
there are some differences between an ordinary kingdom
and this. That is all.”
“That is all right. Nayana also used to say that the
position of a Maharaja and a Mahajnani is the same. When
astrologers predicted that Tathagatha (Buddha) would
become either an Emperor or a sannyasi, full of wisdom and
knowledge, his father prevented him from going out
anywhere, kept him in the palace and tried his best to interest
him in the pleasures and luxuries of the palace. At last when
he (Buddha) somehow managed to go out on some pretext,
he saw all the sufferings of people in the world. So, he ran
away and took sannyasa. One of the two empires, material,
or spiritual,” said Bhagavan.

(119) NIDIDHYASANA (INTENSE CONCENTRATION)

Prev Next    21st May, 1947
Yesterday morning at 8 o’clock, Dr. Syed who is a worker
for Arya Vignana Sangha and one of the disciples of
Bhagavan, came here for Bhagavan’s darshan and asked,
“Bhagavan says the whole world is the swarupa of Atma. If
so, why do we find so many troubles in this world?”
With a face indicating pleasure, Bhagavan replied “That
is called Maya. In Vedanta Chintamani, that Maya has been
described in five ways. One by name Nijaguna Yogi wrote
that book in Canarese. Vedanta has been so well dealt with in
it, it can be said to be an authority on the Vedanta language.

There is a Tamil translation. The five names of Maya are, Tamas,
Maya, Moham, Avidya and Anitya. Tamas is that which hides the
knowledge of life. Maya is that which is responsible for making
one who is the form of the world appear different from it.
Moha is that which makes a different one look real: sukti rajata
bhranthi — creating an illusion that mother-of-pearl is made
of silver. Avidya is that which spoils Vidya (learning). Anitya is
transient, that which is different from what is permanent and
real. On account of these five Mayas troubles appear in the
Atma like the cinema pictures on the screen. Only to remove
this Maya it is said that the whole world is mithya (unreal).
Atman is like the screen. Just as you come to know that the
pictures that are shown are dependent on the screen and do
not exist otherwise, so also, until one is able to know by Self-
enquiry that the world that is visible is not different from Atma,
it has to be said that this is all mithya. But once the reality is
known, the whole universe will appear as Atma only. Hence
the very people who said the world is unreal, have subsequently
said that it is only Atma swarupa. After all, it is the outlook that
is important. If the outlook changes, the troubles of the world
will not worry us. Are the waves different from the ocean?
Why do the waves occur at all? If asked, what reply can we
give? The troubles in the world also are like that. Waves come
and go. If it is found out that they are not different from
Atma this worry will not exist.”
That devotee said in a plaintive tone, “However often
Bhagavan teaches us, we are not able to understand.”
“People say that they are not able to know the Atma that is
all-pervading. What can I do? Even the smallest child says,
‘I exist. I do; and this is mine’. So, everyone understands
that the thing ‘I’ is always existent. It is only when that ‘I’ is
there, the feeling is there that you are the body, he is
Venkanna, this is Ramanna and the like. To know that the
one that is always visible is one’s own self, is it necessary to
search with a candle? To say that we do not know the Atma
swarupa which is not different but which is in one’s own self
is like saying ‘I do not know myself’,” said Bhagavan.
“That means that those who by sravana (hearing) and
manana (repeating within oneself) become enlightened and
look upon the whole visible world as full of Maya, will
ultimately find the real swarupa by nididhyasana,” said the
devotee.
“Yes, that is it. Nidi means swarupa; nididhyasana is the
act of intensely concentrating on the swarupa with the help
of sravana and manana of the words of the Guru. That means
to meditate on that with undeflected zeal. After meditating
for a long time, he merges in it. Then it shines as itself. That
is always there. There will be no troubles of this sort if one
can see the thing as it is. Why so many questions to see one’s
own self that is always there?” said Bhagavan.

(120) AJAPA TATVAM (THE MEANING OF INVOLUNTARY JAPAM)

Prev Next    23rd May, 1947
This morning at 8 o’clock, an ochre-robed person asked,
“Swami, for controlling the mind, which of the two is better,
performing japa of the ajapa mantra or of Omkar? Please tell
me which is more useful?” Bhagavan replied as follows: “What
is your idea of ajapa? Will it be ajapa if you go on repeating
aloud ‘soham, soham’? Ajapa means to know that japa which
goes on involuntarily without being uttered through the
mouth. Without knowing the real meaning of that japa, people
think that it means repeating with the mouth the words
‘soham, soham’ lakhs of times, counting them on the fingers
or on a string of beads. Before beginning a japa, ‘pranayame
viniyogah’ is prescribed. That means, first do pranayama
(regulating of breath) and then begin repeating the mantra.

Pranayama means first closing the mouth, doesn’t it? If, by
stopping the breath, the five elements in the body are bound
down and controlled what remains is the real Self. That Self
will by itself be repeating always ‘aham, aham’. That is ajapa.
To know that aspect is ‘ajapa’. How could that which is
repeated by mouth be ajapa? The vision of the real Self which
performs japa of its own accord involuntarily and in a never
ending stream like the flowing down continuously of ghee is
ajapa, Gayatri and everything. At the time of the upanayanam
itself, pranayama is taught by anganyasa, karanyasa and other
methods of stopping the breathing, and people are asked to
understand that ajapa by practice with suitable
accompaniments. Without thinking of it, people talk of ajapa.
It is the same thing in regard to Omkar. Om is all pervading
and complete by itself. How can one do japa of that word
with the voice? The sutra is always there: ‘Omityekaksharam
brahma adviteeyam sanatanam’ (Om is the indivisible and
primordial Brahman). Without understanding that
elementary thing, big books have been written stating the
number of times each name should be repeated, such as so
many thousands for Ganapati in mooladhara and for other
chakras, so many thousands for Brahma, so many for Vishnu
and Sadasiva. If you know who it is that is doing japa you
will know what this japa is. If you search and try to find out
who it is that is doing japa, that japa itself becomes the Self.”
Another person asked, “Is there no benefit at all in doing
japa with the mouth?” “Who said no? That will be the means
for chitta suddhi (purifying the mind). As the japa is done
repeatedly the effort ripens and sooner or later leads to the
right path. Good or bad, whatever is done, never goes to
waste. Only the differences and the merits and demerits of
each will have to be told, looking to the stage of development
of the person concerned,” said Bhagavan. His “Upadesa
Saram” itself is an authority on the subject.

(121) WHY ANY SECRECY?

Prev Next    28th May, 1947
Often it happens that in Bhagavan’s presence fruits and
sweets are brought and placed before him; sometimes they
are served on his leaf while taking meals and at times they are
brought into the hall and Bhagavan is asked to eat them in
the presence of all the people there. It is all right if they are
new people but if they are old devotees Bhagavan would
remark, “What more is there to do? Naivedya is over. Perhaps
camphor also will be burnt?” or “Will swamitvam (the role of a
Swami) be lost unless I eat whenever asked and do as
requested?” If they are Asramites, he would even administer
a mild rebuke, saying, “Why all this, instead of looking to the
purpose for which you have come?” It is, I believe, a year
back, that one morning I brought fried jowar at the breakfast
time, gave it to the people in charge of the kitchen and said
nothing. What of that? As soon as I went to the hall Bhagavan
complained, “I have eaten all sorts of foodgrains. Why do you
take all this work on yourself?” From that time onwards, I
have not been giving the Ashram anything prepared at home.

Recently when you sent figs and other fruit, I gave them to
Bhagavan’s attendants secretly as I was afraid of what
Bhagavan would say if I gave them in the presence of all the
people. They waited for a suitable opportunity and gave them
to Bhagavan. He did not say anything at the time, but you
know what happened four or five days later? I went to the
Ashram in the afternoon at 2-30. There was no one else with
Bhagavan except the attendants. Squirrels were scrambling
about the sofa and indirectly demanding their food. Bhagavan
was emptying the tin and was saying “Sorry, nothing in it,”
and turning towards me, he said, “The cashew nuts are
finished. They do not like groundnuts. What am I to do?” I
looked at the attendants enquiringly. They said that there were
no cashew nuts even in the storeroom. The squirrels did not
stop their fuss. I had to do something. At the same time I was
afraid what Bhagavan would say if I got some from the bazar.
In the evening when someone was going to town, I gave
him money to bring ten palams (1.5 kilograms) of cashew nuts.
The person who brought them did not give them to me
immediately but gave them the next morning at 9 o’clock. Afraid
of what Bhagavan would say if I gave them in his presence, I
gave the packet to the attendant, Krishnaswamy, after Bhagavan
had gone out at 9-25 a.m. I do not know what happened in the
noon. I went to the Ashram at 2-30 p.m. and stayed on till 4.
This topic never came up. I felt greatly relieved, went home,
came back in the evening at 6 and sat in the hall at a distance.
Veda Parayana was over. Krishnaswamy was pouring into a tin
the cashewnuts I gave him. Bhagavan saw and asked him who
gave them. He said, “Nagamma.” “When?” asked Bhagavan.
“At 9-45 a.m. when Bhagavan went out,” said the attendant.
“Is that so? Why not give it in my presence? Why this
secrecy? Because I suppose she was afraid Bhagavan would
be angry. These pranks have not been given up yet. Perhaps
it is at her instance that Subbulakshmi brought cashewnuts
a short while ago and gave them secretly to Satyananda
through the window and slipped out. In addition, she gave
an excuse to the effect that Athai (Bhagavan’s sister) had asked
them to be given. She put it on to Athai as she thought I
would not say anything in that event. These are the silly acts
of people here. Why do they indulge in these things instead
of confining themselves to the purpose for which they have
come here? They try to hoodwink Swami. They do not know
that they themselves are getting hoodwinked. This weakness
has not left them in spite of years of stay here. Have they
come here for this purpose?” said Bhagavan in a thundering
voice.
As I sat there, I became still as a statue. I never told
Subbulakshmamma nor did I know of her giving the
cashewnuts. But I could not venture to open my mouth to
mention the facts. I was however reminded of the purpose
for which I had come. I thought that the lion’s dream known
as Guru Kataksha was like this. The clock struck the half-
hour. Startled by it, I looked at it and found it was 6-30 p.m.
As that is the hour at which ladies have to leave the Ashram,
all of them were slowly going away. I got up somehow and
bowed before Bhagavan. He was looking at me with piercing
eyes indicating anger coupled with sympathy. I could not
look at that majestic personality, and so without raising my
head, I came home and went to sleep. Next morning it was
broad daylight by the time I woke up. I realised that the
reason for the rebuke, which was like a precept, was not
merely the cashewnuts but my forgetfulness of the purpose
for which I had come to the Ashram, namely the acquiring
of jnana. There must be many instances of such forgetfulness
and so I prayed to Bhagavan in my mind to forgive me.
I got up, finished my morning routine quickly and
went to the Ashram. No sooner did I step into the hall
than Bhagavan, with a face radiant with smiles, brought
up my case for enquiry. It became clear that I never told
Subbulakshmamma, and that Alamelu Athai herself sent those
nuts through Subbulakshmamma for the squirrels as they were
left over after the Shashtiabdhapurthi (completion of 60th year)
celebrations of her husband. “Is that so! The story has now
taken a different turn. Even so, why the secrecy? Anyway, it is
all over now.” So saying Bhagavan changed the topic and tried
to cover up the whole incident by consoling words. But I have
not been able to forget it even now:
Aazya bXyte laekae kmR[a b÷ ic
Aayu]I[< n janait tSmat! ja¢t ja¢t.


Men are bound down by desire, activity and much worry;
they do not realize the shortening of life-span. Hence
awake! awake!
These words of the ancients are worth remembering.
So far as I am concerned, the words that Bhagavan spoke,
the looks that he cast with a feeling that this child, without
realising how fast time flies, was wasting her time on
trivialities, were imprinted on my heart. Brother, how can I
write the full implications of that incident! After all, Bhagavan
is a Jnanadatha (Giver of Jnana)!

(122) KRITI SAMARPANA — DEDICATION OF A BOOK

Prev Next    5th June, 1947
After leaving your house in Madras the day before
yesterday night, I reached the Ashram yesterday morning
by 7 o’clock. Though it was only four days since I had left
the Ashram, I felt as if it was four centuries. So I went straight
to the Ashram from the Railway Station. Bhagavan was taking
his breakfast. When I prostrated before him and stood up,
he said, “You have come back? So soon?” I said, “Yes,” and
told him that ten copies of ‘Lekhalu’ were ready, that I had
brought them with me and the printers said that they would
send the remaining copies to the Ashram direct. Bhagavan
said “Yes,” and remained indifferent.

After finishing my bath, etc., I took the bundle of books
and went to the Ashram office, but the Sarvadhikari was not
there.
So I thought I could as well show them to Bhagavan
and then bring them back and so went into the hall. I did go
into the office first, in accordance with the rules, to give books
there, but the desire to show them to Bhagavan first was
dominant in my mind. Whatever it be, taking advantage of
the absence of the Sarvadhikari from the office, I went to the
hall first. Bhagavan was reading the newspaper and appeared
not to notice me. Afraid of giving the books into his hands,
I placed them on the stool nearby. In dedicating a book, it is
usual to honour the person to whom it is dedicated by
offering him fruits, flowers and presents according to the
author’s ability. But you know the proverb: “For a God as
big as a mountain, can you offer flowers, etc., mountain-
high?” For Bhagavan, what is it that we could offer for
worship? Even so, if I wanted to offer any of the classical
puja articles such as patram (sacred green leaves), pushpam
(flowers), phalam (fruits), thoyam (water), I was afraid Bhagavan
would again scold me as he had done recently. So I merely
folded my hands to salute him. You know what a nice thing
happened then? As I bent down to prostrate, a devotee came
there with a group of Brahmins and with a plate full of
flowers, fruits, agarbathies (incense sticks), arecanuts, betel-
leaves, etc. and placed it by the side of the books. When
I got up and saw them, I felt extremely happy at the
coincidence. All of them stood in a group and chanted the
vedic hymn beginning with ‘nakarmana naprajaya dhanena’.
After the chanting was over, we all got up after bowing before
Bhagavan. Krishnaswamy sent them away after giving
prasadam. Bhagavan put the paper away and said to me
leisurely, “Today it is Shashtiabdhapurthi for him, it seems.”
“Is it so?” said I. Whatever it is, I was satisfied that though
I never brought anything, unexpectedly someone else had
brought flowers and fruits to make up for the omission.
Krishnaswamy left the books there. So I myself handed
them over to Bhagavan. Turning them over this side and
that Bhagavan said, “Give them to the office, let them come
to me with the office stamp.” I opened a copy and showed
Bhagavan that under his photo the press people had
forgotten to print the name. “Oh! A mistake has been made.
It doesn’t matter. The namam (name) has merged in the rupam
(form). Give them to the office,” said Bhagavan. I took them
to the office and came back after handing them over to Sri
Niranjanananda Swamy, the Sarvadhikari. After 9 a.m.
Mounaswamy brought two copies of the book and gave them
to Bhagavan. Bhagavan saw them and enquiring if one was
for him and one for Nagamma, he told a devotee nearby,
“Please give the copy to her. She wrote it and her brother
got it printed. She herself brought and gave us some copies
and from out of them we are giving her a copy. It is just like
making an idol of Pillaiar (Lord Ganesa) with jaggery and,
after puja, pinching a little of that jaggery and using it for
naivedyam. When fruits are brought and given to us, do we
not give prasadam?”

(123) KARATHALA BHIKSHA (ALMS IN THE PALMS)

Prev Next    20th June, 1947
Four or five days back, a notebook of Madhavaswami
was found. As Bhagavan was looking into it, he saw a Tamil
verse in it written by him, long ago. It was in Malayalam
script, and while transcribing it into Tamil he told us its
meaning: “When a man attains jnana, he will not have any
regard for this body. Just as, after taking food, the leaf on
which it was taken is thrown away however nice it may be, so
also after attaining jnana one will be waiting eagerly for the
time when it can be thrown away. This is the essence of what
is stated in this verse.”
One devotee asked, “For what reason did Bhagavan
write this verse?” “In Tamil, in a book called Prabhulingalila,
the same idea was expressed in a verse of four lines, and so,
seeing it I thought it better to write briefly in a smaller verse
of two lines,” said Bhagavan. He then wrote it in Tamil script
and began telling us further as follows: “The symbol of the
used leaf has been given by many people. However nicely a
leaf-plate is stitched, it is useful only until the meal is over.

After that will there be any regard for it? It is immediately
thrown away. Rich people have food on silver plates with
gold flowers inlaid in them. Why are such things required
when we have hands given by God?
“When I was on the hill someone got a leaf plate made
of silver and requested me to eat from it. I sent it back saying
that I did not require it. When the food can be eaten out of
the hands, why silver and gold? For a long time I did not eat
food from a leaf. If anybody brought food, I used to stretch
out the palms of my hands and when the food was put in
them I used to eat it. It is only of late that I have begun
eating food served on a leaf.”
Another person said, “Is it because of that, that Ganapati
Muni praised you saying ‘Karathamarasena supatravata’?”
Bhagavan replied “Yes. When you have hands, why all these
things? It used to be an exhilarating experience in those
days. When I was going out for bhiksha, I used to take the
alms in the palms of my hands and go along the street eating
it. When the eating was over I used to go on licking my
hands. I never used to care for anything. I used to feel shy
to ask anyone for anything. Hence that karathala bhiksha (alms
in the palms) used to be very interesting. There used to be
big pundits this side and that; sometimes big government
officials also used to be there. What did I care who was there?
It would be humiliating for a poor man to go out for bhiksha,
but for one who has conquered the ego and become an
Advaiti, it is a great elevation of the mind. At that time, he
would not care if an Emperor came there. In that way, when
I went out for bhiksha and clapped my hands, people used to
say, ‘Swami has come’, and give me bhiksha with fear and
devotion. Those who did not know me used to say, ‘You are
strong and sturdy. Instead of going out like this as a beggar,
why don’t you go out to work as a cooly?’ I used to feel
amused. But I was a Mouna (silent) Swami and did not speak.
I used to laugh and go away feeling that it was usual for
ordinary people to talk like that. The more they talked like
that the more exhilarated I felt. That was great fun.”
“In Vasishtam, there is a story about Bhagiratha before
he brought Ganges down to the earth. He was an Emperor
but the empire seemed to him a great obstacle to atmajignasa
(Self-enquiry). In accordance with the advice of his Guru
and on the pretext of a yagna (sacrifice), he gave away all his
wealth and other possessions. No one would, however, take
the empire. So he invited the neighbouring King who was
an enemy and who was waiting for a suitable opportunity to
snatch it away and gifted away the empire to him. The only
thing that remained to be done was to leave the country. He
left at midnight in disguise, lay in hiding during day time in
other countries so as not to be recognised and went about
begging alms at night. Ultimately he felt confident that his
mind had matured sufficiently to be free from egoism. Then
he decided to go to his native place and there went out
begging in all the streets. As he was not recognised by
anybody, he went one day to the palace itself. The watchman
recognised him, made obeisance and informed the then King
about it, shivering with fear. The King came in a great hurry
and requested him (Bhagiratha) to accept the kingdom back,
but Bhagiratha did not agree. “Will you give me alms or
not?” he asked. As there was no other alternative, they gave
him alms and he went away highly pleased. Subsequently he
became the King of some other country for some reason
and when the King of his own country passed away, he ruled
that country also at the special request of the people. That
story is given in detail in Vasishtam. The kingdom which
earlier appeared to him to be a burden did not trouble him
later when he became a Jnani. All that I want to say is, how
do others know about the happiness of bhiksha? There is
nothing great about begging or eating food from a leaf which
is thrown out after taking food from it. If an Emperor goes
out begging, there is greatness in that bhiksha. Now, bhiksha
here means that you must have vada and payasam (pudding).
In some months, there will be several such things. Even for
padapuja (worshipping of the feet) money is demanded.
Unless the stipulated money is tendered before hand, they
refuse to take upastaranam (a spoonful of water taken with a
prayer before beginning to take food). The unique
significance of Karathala Bhiksha has now degenerated to this
extent,” said Bhagavan.
mUl< trae> kevlmaïyNt>,
pai[<ëy< éae="" ́...mmnçynt="">.
</ëy<>
kNwaimv ïImip k...TsyNt>,
kaEpInvNt> olu ÉaGyvNt>.
Living only under trees, eating food out of their palms,
disregarding even the Goddess of Wealth like an old rag,
fortunate indeed are those dressed in a codpiece.

(124) UPANAYANAM (CEREMONY OF THE SACRED THREAD)

Prev Next    21st June, 1947
One morning two or three days back some people came
with a young boy whose Upanayanam had been recently
performed and went away after prostrating before Bhagavan.

Soon after they left, some devotee asked him about the
significance of Upanayanam and Bhagavan related it to us as
follows:
“Upanayanam does not mean just putting round the neck
three strands of cotton thread. It means that there are not
only two eyes but a third also. That is the jnana netram (wisdom-
eye). Open that eye and recognise your swa-swarupa (own
form); that is what is taught. Upanayanam means additional
eye. They say that the eye must be opened and for that purpose
they give training in pranayamam (breath control). After that
they give Brahmopadesam (Initiating about Brahman), give the
boy a begging bowl and tell him to go about begging. The
first bhiksha is mathru (mother’s). When the father gives
Brahmopadesam, the mother gives three handfuls of bhiksha
(rice) to enable the young boy to do manana (repeat inwardly),
the upadesa given by the father. He is expected to fill his
stomach by begging, stay in the Guru’s house for training and
realise his self by opening the jnana netram. That is the
significance of Upanayanam. Forgetting all that, what is done at
present is this: pranayamam has come to mean just closing the
nose with the fingers and pretending to control the breath;
Brahmopadesam means just to cover both the father and the son
with a new dhoti when the father whispers something in the
ear of the son; bhiksha means just filling up the begging bowl
with money. What could they preach to the boy when the
father who gives the upadesa and the priest who gets this done,
do not know the real significance of Upanayanam? Not only
that. After receiving the required knowledge by staying with
the Guru for a sufficiently long time, the Guru used to send
the boy to his parents to find out whether his mind would get
caught in worldly affairs or turn towards sannyasa. After staying
for some time in their own homes, the boys used to start on a
pilgrimage to Banaras, devoid of worldly desires and with a
view to renouncing them completely. At that time, parents
having girls of marriageable age dissuade the boys from going
to Banaras and offer them their daughters in marriage. Those
that are strongly inclined towards renunciation would go
without caring for the offers of marriage and those that are
otherwise, return home and accept the offer of marriage. All
that is forgotten now. Pilgrimage to Banaras at present means
the young man puts on a silver-lined silk dhoti, his eyes are
coloured black, his forehead bears a caste mark, his feet are
ornamented with yellow and red paste, his body is smeared
with sandal-paste, his neck is adorned with flower garlands,
an umbrella is spread over his head and wooden sandals are
worn on his feet and he walks on stylishly to the accompaniment
of music. When the girl’s brother comes and offers his sister in
marriage and presses him to accept the offer, he says, “I want
a wrist watch. I want a motor cycle, I want this and I want
that. If you give them, I can marry, otherwise not.” Afraid
that the marriage which is arranged may fall through, the
parents of the bride give whatever is demanded. Then they
have photos, feasts and presentation of cloths and the like.
Nowadays, bhikshas are used for filling up the begging bowl
with rupees and pilgrimages to Banaras are used for extracting
dowries.”

(125) FORCED DINNERS

Prev Next    27th June, 1947
This afternoon at 3 o’clock, a devotee from Eesanya
Mutt came and bowed before Bhagavan. Seeing him,
Bhagavan said, “A telegram has been received that the Swami
in Kovilur Mutt is no more. Is Natesa Swami gone?” “Yes.

Two days ago. We knew beforehand that he was sick,” he
said. Someone asked, “Who is Natesa Swami?” “The deceased
who passed away at the Kovilur Mutt was originally in charge
of the Eesanya Mutt. When the Matadhipathi (head of the
mutt) of Kovilur passed away Natesa Swami was taken there
and was made the head of that mutt. That is the most
important Vedanta mutt this side. Though he was not very
learned, he was a good sadhak and so he was chosen. It might
have been about twenty years back,” said Bhagavan.
“Is he the same person that made Bhagavan get into a
bandy?” I asked. “No. That was the one who was in the mutt
before Natesa Swami. He was not like this person. He was a
powerful personality,” said Bhagavan. “When was that?”
someone asked. “That was when I was still in Virupaksha
Cave and about four or five years after I came to
Tiruvannamalai. It is a funny story. One day when
Palaniswamy and myself went round the hill and came near
the temple it was 8 p.m. As we were tired, I lay down in
Subrahmanya temple. Palani went out to fetch food from
the choultry. He (the head of the mutt) was going into the
temple. As usual there were a number of disciples around
him. One of them saw me and told them about it. That was
enough. While returning, he came with ten of his disciples
and stood around me. He began saying, ‘Get up, Swami. We
shall go.’ I was in mouna then, so I showed by signs that I
wouldn’t accompany them. Was he the man to listen to me?
‘Lift him up bodily, lift,’ he said to his disciples. As there was
no alternative, I got up. When I came out, there was a bandy
ready. ‘Get in, Swami,’ he said. I declined and showed them
by signs that I would prefer to walk and suggested that he
should get into the bandy. He took no notice of my
protestations. Instead, he told his disciples, ‘What are you
looking at? Lift Swami and put him in the cart.’ There were
ten of them and I was alone. What could I do? They lifted
me bodily and put me into the cart. Without saying anything
more, I went to the mutt. He had a big leaf spread out for
me, filled it with food of all kinds, showed great respect and
began saying ‘Please stay here always.’ Palaniswami went to
the temple, enquired about me and then came to the mutt.
After he came, I somehow managed to escape from there.
That was the only occasion on which I got into a cart after
coming to Tiruvannamalai. Subsequently whenever new
people arrived they sent a cart, asking me to go over to their
place. If once I yielded, I was afraid there would be no end
to that sort of invitation and so I sent back the cart, refusing
to go. Eventually they stopped sending carts. But that was
not the only trouble with them. Even if I did not go to them
when invited, I used to go round the hill and would
sometimes visit the mutt. He would then go in and say
something to the cook. At meal time he would have a big
leaf spread out for me, sit by my side and instruct the cook
to serve me food over and over again. On other days he
would not eat along with the disciples in the mutt. but when
I visited the mutt he used to sit by my side for food. How
could I eat all that was piled on the leaf? I used to touch a
little of the various preparations. The balance used to be
mixed together by the disciples and the inmates used to eat
it saying, ‘It is Swami’s prasadam.’ Noticing that, I gave up
eating from a leaf. Whenever I felt like eating there in the
mutt, I used to stay in Pachiamman Koil or somewhere nearby,
go to the mutt soon after the naivedya bell was rung, stay near
the main entrance and ask for the nivedana (food offering to
God). They used to bring it, and give it into my hands. I
used to eat without the aid of a leaf. Salt is not put into that
nivedana, as it is a Siva temple. Even so, I didn’t mind it at
all. All that I wanted was to satisfy my hunger. As the head of
the mutt was staying upstairs, he knew nothing about it for
some time. One day he saw it accidentally. ‘Who is it that is
giving Swami food without salt?’ he enquired angrily.
Subsequently he learned all the facts and left the matter at
that. The person who died recently was not like that. He was
a very peaceful and easy-going man. He used to sit by my
side along with all the others and arrange for serving me
food in normal quantities, similar to the others.”
“Bhagavan also once lectured there, didn’t he?” someone
asked. “Yes,” he replied. “When the person who recently
passed away was teaching some lessons to the inmates of the
mutt, I happened to go there. They received me with great
respect and made me sit down. ‘Go on with the lessons,’ I
said. ‘Can I teach lessons in Swami’s presence? Swami himself
must say something,’ he replied. So saying, he got a copy of
Gita Saram, made his sishyas to read and requested me to
explain it. As there was no way out, I gave a discourse.”
“Ramachandra Iyer’s grandfather once took Bhagavan to
his place, it seems,” said that questioner. “That was long back,
perhaps in 1896. I was then at Gopura Subrahmanyeswara
Temple. He used to come to me daily, sit for a while and then
go. I was in Mouna. So there was no talk or consultation.
Even then he had great devotion. One day it seems he invited
someone to his house for a feast. In the noon, before meal
time, he came to me with another person. One standing on
either side of me they said, ‘Swami, get up. Let us go.’ ‘Why?’
I enquired by signs. They told me the purpose. I refused.
But would they go? They caught hold of my hands and
forcibly pulled me up. They were prepared even to carry
me in their arms. He was tall, stout and with a big belly. I
was at the time lean and weak. I was nothing before him.
His friend was even sturdier. What could I do? I was afraid
they might even carry me in their arms if I resisted any
further. I knew they were inviting me with great bhakti. So,
thinking it was no use arguing with them I walked with them.
From the main entrance they took me into the hall with great
respect, spread a big plantain leaf and fed me sumptuously
and then sent me back. That is the only family house here
where I have eaten on a leaf.”

(126) QUESTIONS WITH HALF KNOWLEDGE

Prev Next    28th June, 1947
A few days back a meeting of the Vysya Sangam was
held in this town. A number of prominent Vysyas from
Andhra State attended it. Two days back all of them came to
the Ashram in the morning and one of the chief men amongst
them addressed Bhagavan thus: “Swami, God has become
jiva. Will the grief that the jiva suffers affect God or not?”
Bhagavan did not give a reply immediately but
remained silent. The questioner waited for a while and asked,
“Swami, shall I wait until you give me a reply?” “Who is it
that is asking the question?” said Bhagavan. “A jiva,” he said.

“Who is that jiva? What does he look like? Where was he
born? Where does he get dissolved? If you enquire and find
out, he who is known as jiva will be found to be God himself.
Then it will be known whether the grief experienced by the
jiva will affect God or not. When that is known, there will be
no trouble at all.” “That is what we are unable to know,” said
the questioner. “There is no effort required to know one’s
self. You exist during sleep but all the things in the world
that you see are not visible then. When you wake up you see
everything. But you existed then and exist now (during sleep
and while awake). That which comes on you in your wakeful
state should be thrown out,” said Bhagavan. “How are we to
throw it out?” enquired the other. “If you remain as you are,
it will go out of its own accord. Your nature is to be. If you
see the Reality as it is, the unreal will go away as unreal,”
said Bhagavan. “What is the method by which this can be
seen?” asked the questioner. “By enquiring ‘Who am I?’ and
‘What is my true state?’” said Bhagavan. “How am I to
enquire?” asked that questioner. Bhagavan kept silent.
The questioner waited for a reply for a while and then,
saying, “Yes, this is the method,” he touched the feet of
Bhagavan despite the objections of the attendants and went
away with all the members of the Vysya Sangam. After they
had left, Bhagavan said to those sitting near him, “Don’t
they know the reply? They just wanted to test me. They felt
that their work was over, when they touched my feet. What
more do they require?”
A rich Reddy from Nellore who happened to be there
said, “Ananda is said to be Atma. Ananda is free from sorrow.
If so, when the jiva experiences ananda, will he be free from
sorrow?” Bhagavan replied, “There can be ananda (joy) only
if there is duhkha (sorrow). It is only if a thing is known as
duhkha then ananda can be known. If duhkha is not realised,
how can ananda be realised? So long as there is one who
knows, these two will exist. Vastu (the thing that is) is above
sukha and duhkha. Even so, that vastu is known as sukha
because Sat is above sat and asat. Jnana is above jnana and
ajnana, Vidya is above vidya and avidya. The same thing is
said about several other things. So what is there to say?” said
Bhagavan. The same idea is expressed in stanza ten of
“Unnadhi Nalupadhi”.

(127) PUJA WITH FLOWERS

Prev Next    30th June, 1947
Recently a rich lady residing in Ramana Nagar was
getting a basket of jasmine flowers from her garden everyday
and giving them to all the married ladies in the hall. Bhagavan
observed this for four or five days but said nothing. She did
not discontinue that practice. One day she put the flower
basket on the stool, bowed before Bhagavan and got up.

Bhagavan looking at someone nearby said, “Look! She has
brought something. They are flowers perhaps. What for?”
With some fear she said that they were not for Bhagavan
but for the married ladies and began distributing them. “Oh!
If that is so, they could as well be distributed at their houses.
Why here? If someone gives flowers thus, all others begin
doing the same thing. Seeing that, people who come newly
will think that flowers must be distributed and will buy and
bring them. Then the trouble starts. I never touch flowers.
In some places, it is usual to present flower garlands. Hence,
many people bring flowers. I have not allowed people to do
puja to the feet or to the head. Why do we require such
practices?” said Bhagavan.
With fear and trepidation she said, “No. I will not bring
them any more.” Bhagavan said, “All right. That is good,”
and looking at those still near him, went on as follows: “You
know what happened at one of the Jayanthi celebrations? A
devotee got a book by name Pushpanjali printed and said he
would read it. When I said ‘Yes’, he stood a little behind and
began reading. He appears to have had some flowers hidden
in his lap. As the reading came to a close, bunches of flowers
fell on my legs. On enquiry, it was found that it was his doing.
He did it thus because he knew I would not agree if he told
me beforehand. What to do? Perhaps in his view it is no puja
unless it is done like that.”
During the early days of my stay here, on a Varalakshmi
Puja Day, one or two married ladies placed some flowers on
Bhagavan’s feet, bowed before him and went away after
seeking his permission for puja. Next year, all began doing
the same thing. Bhagavan looked at them angrily and said,
“There it is — one after another, all have started. Why this?
This is a result of my keeping quiet instead of stopping it in
the very beginning. Enough of this.”
Not only in regard to himself but even in regard to
puja to the deities Bhagavan mildly rebukes devotees about
using leaves and flowers. I have already written to you in
one of my previous letters about the laksha patri puja (puja
with one lakh of leaves) of Echamma. There is another
instance. During the days when Bhagavan used to go round
the hill with devotees in stages, they camped one morning
at Gowtama Ashram. After the men and women had cooked,
eaten and rested, and were getting ready to go so as to
reach the Ashram before sunset, a lady devotee by name
Lakshmamma, who was born in Tiruchuli and was a
childhood friend of Bhagavan and who used to talk to him
familiarly, was plucking and putting in a basket the jasmine
and tangedu flowers that had grown luxuriantly on the trees
in and around the cremation ground there. Bhagavan
noticed it and asked smilingly, “Lakshmamma, what are
you doing?” She said, “I am plucking flowers.” “I see. Is
that your job? It is all right but why so many flowers?”
asked Bhagavan. “For puja,” she said. “Oh! It won’t be a
puja unless you worship with so many flowers, is that it?”
said Bhagavan. “I don’t know. These trees have abundance
of flowers. So I am plucking them,” she said. “I see. As in
your opinion it will not be nice if there is a luxuriant growth
of flowers, you are making them naked. You have seen the
beauty of that growth and you do not like others to see it.
You have watered them and helped them in their growth,
haven’t you? So you can take the liberty of plucking all the
flowers and making them naked so that no one else can see
that beauty. It is only then that you will get the full benefit
of your puja, is it?” said Bhagavan.

(128) ABHISHEKAM (WORSHIP WITH WATER)

Prev Next    3rd July, 1947
A devotee, who has been coming to the Ashram off and
on, yesterday, during conversation regarding Bhagavan’s stay
on the hill, asked him, “While Bhagavan was on the hill, it
seems some one did abhisekham to Bhagavan with coconut
water. Is that a fact?” Laughingly Bhagavan said, “Yes, while
I was in Virupaksha Cave, some ladies from the north came.

I was sitting on a platform under the tamarind tree with
half-closed eyes, without particularly noticing their arrival. I
thought they would go away after a while. Suddenly there
was a noise of breaking something. I therefore opened my
eyes and saw coconut water trickling down my head. One of
those ladies had done that abhisekam. What was I to do? I
was in mouna and couldn’t talk. I had no towel even to wipe
the water off, and so the water dried on my body as it was.
Not only that. There used to be lighting of camphor, pouring
of water on the head, thirthas (sacred waters), prasadas, and
several such troublesome performances. It used to be quite
a job stopping such things.”
I myself have seen similar instances some four or five
years back. In the room where Bhagavan takes his bath, there
is a hole through which the water that is used drains out.
Below that, a gutter was constructed to drain off the water.
At the time of his bathing, some devotees used to gather at
that place, sprinkle on their heads the water that came out
of the room, wipe their eyes and even use it for achamaniyam
(sipping drops of water for religious purposes). That was
going on quietly and unobserved for some time. But in due
course people began bringing vessels and buckets to gather
that water and soon there was a regular queue. That naturally
resulted in some noise which reached Bhagavan’s ears. He
enquired and found out the facts. Addressing the attendants,
he said, “Oh! Is that the matter? When I heard the noise I
thought it was something else. What nonsense! Will you get
this stopped or shall I bathe at the tap outside? If that is
done, you will be saved the trouble of heating water for me,
and there will be no trouble for them either, to watch and
wait for that tirtha. What do I want? Only two things, a towel
and a koupinam. I can bathe and then rinse them at the tap
and that completes the job. If not the tap, you have the hill
streams and the tanks. Why this bother? What do you say?”
When Bhagavan thus took them to task, they told everything
to Sarvadhikari who thereupon put a ban on any one going
to the side of the bath room during the bathing hour.
Another thing happened during those days. Bhagavan
used to go to the hill in the hot sun after taking meals in the
forenoon. On his return, when he came to the platform near
the hall, the attendants used to pour water on his feet from
the kamandalu (wooden bowl) and he used to wash his feet
and then go in. Some used to hide somewhere there and, as
soon as he went into the hall, they used to collect that water
and sprinkle it on their heads. Once an enquiry starts, all
faults come to light, don’t they? Bhagavan appears to have
noticed that also. One afternoon he saw through the window
an old and long standing devotee sprinkling this water on
his head. Seizing that opportunity, he began saying, “There
it is! See that! As I have not been taking any special notice of
it, it is going beyond all limits. However long they are here
and however often they hear what I say, these ridiculous
things do not stop. What is it they are doing? I shall
henceforth stop washing my feet, do you understand?” He
thus reprimanded them severely. That devotee was stunned,
and with shame and grief, went to Bhagavan immediately
and begged to be excused.
Not only did Bhagavan admonish him like that, but
from the next day onwards, Bhagavan refused to wash his
feet there even though the attendants pleaded with him to
retain the existing custom. As I was then in the town, I did
not know about this immediately. Four days later, somebody
arranged bhiksha in the Ashram and invited me for meals.
After meals I stayed there. Bhagavan as usual came down
the hill. As I had some doubts about my sadhana, I thought
I could ask him leisurely after he returned to the hall and
so, I stood at the western window outside the hall. It is
usual for me to do so whenever I wanted to ask Bhagavan
and clear my doubts. You know what happened this time?
Instead of facing east, as usual, Bhagavan turned towards
the side where I was standing. I stepped aside and gave
way with some misgivings. He looked at me with concealed
anger. I trembled with fear. I did not know why he looked
at me like that. As he was turning the corner by the window,
the attendants tried to give him water to wash his feet.
Bhagavan shouted at them, saying, “No.” When they said,
“You have been in the hot sun,” he said. “What of that? If
we look to cleanliness, a number of people wait for that
water. Enough of this. If you want, you wash your feet.” So
saying, Bhagavan entered the hall.
I was wondering if I had committed any fault resulting
in Bhagavan getting angry and so went away, without trying
to clear my doubts. In the evening, I enquired and learnt all
that had happened before. It was only after that, I had some
peace of mind.

(129) TIRTHAS AND PRASADAS (HOLY WATER AND FOOD)

Prev Next    6th July, 1947
Long back, when there were not many people in the
Ashram, one of the attendants of Bhagavan used to wait
until Bhagavan had finished eating and then used to have
his food on Bhagavan’s leaf. Gradually Asramites and old
devotees began asking for that leaf and getting it. So long
as rival claims for the leaf did not take a serious turn,
Bhagavan did not take much notice of it. A plate also had
to be placed before the leaf for washing his hands. As soon
as he went away after washing his hands, that water also
used to be taken in like tirtha (holy water). In due course,
these two practices of the Asramites went beyond the
Ashram precincts and spread to Ramana Nagar also.

One day the mother of a wealthy devotee came there
during lunch time and stood by the side of Bhagavan.
Seeing her, Bhagavan said, “Why don’t you sit down for
meals?” She did not do so. Bhagavan understood the
purpose but kept quiet as if he did not know anything.
On the other side, the granddaughter of another devotee,
aged eight, stood with a tumbler in her hand. Noticing
her also, Bhagavan said, “Why are you also standing? Sit
down and eat food.” “No,” she said. “Then why have you
come? What is that tumbler for?” asked Bhagavan. After
all, she was an unsophisticated child, and so, not knowing
it to be a secret, said, “Grandmother has sent me to fetch
tirtham.” Bhagavan could not contain his anger any longer
and so said, “I see. That is the thing. This child is waiting
for tirtham and that lady for the leaf; that is it, isn’t it?”
When he thus asked with a commanding tone, one of the
people near him said, “Yes.” “I have been noticing this
nonsense for some time now,” he said. “They think that
Swami sits in the hall with closed eyes and does not notice
any of these things. I did not want to interfere in such
matters all these days, but there does not seem to be any
limit to them. Tirthas and prasadas out of uchishtam (food
and water left as a remainder) and people to take turns
for them! Look! Henceforth, I will not wash my hands in
the plate, not even anywhere about this place. I will not
leave the leaf here and go. I myself will remove it and
throw it away. You understand? All of you join together
and do these things. This is the only punishment.” So
saying and repeating several other charges for a long time,
Bhagavan folded his leaf after eating food and then got
up with the used leaf in his hand. However much people
there begged of him, he did not give them the leaf, but
went up the hill and, after turning a corner, threw it away
and then washed his hands there. Eventually the Asramites
prayed and assured him that they would stop those
undesirable practices. He said, “When everyone removes
his used leaf and throws it away, why should I leave mine?”
Until 1943, after meals, everyone used to remove their
leaf and throw it away. That practice was changed only
after this incident.
After all the Asramites swore that they themselves would
remove all the leaves and throw them away along with
Bhagavan’s leaf, he reluctantly began leaving his leaf there.
But even till today he has been washing his hands outside,
near the steps leading into the hall. If anybody requested him
to wash his hands in a plate, he would say, “Will you provide
all these people with plates? If all the others do not have them,
why do I require one?” What reply could we give him?

(130) HASTHA MASTHAKA SAMYOGAM (TOUCHING OF THE HEAD WITH THE HAND BY WAY OF BLESSING)

Prev Next    8th July, 1947
Some people might say, “From what you have written
in the last three or four letters, it is clear that Sri Bhagavan
not only declines to allow pada puja (worship of the feet),
abhisheka (worship with water) and uchishta tirtha prasadas,
but actually condemns them. But then, in Guru Gita and
other books, it is stated that Guru pada puja, padodaka panam
(taking in water with which the feet are washed) and the like
are approved religious practices. Some elders have accepted
such practices from their disciples. What then is the
explanation?” Bhagavan is in a highly exalted state and has
realised the oneness of the Self with the universe so as to
dispense with the distinction between Guru and sishya. Hence
he does not require these practices and always maintains
that they are meant only for those who have not yet given
up the belief that the body is identical with Atma, and that it
is for the satisfaction of such people that these practices have
been laid down by some of the ancients. It may then be asked,
“If that is so, why does he remain indifferent when some of
these acts are done and object to them afterwards?” When
two or three people do it once in a way he may not mind it
and feel sorry that they have not yet got over the belief that
the body is identical with Atma, but if it becomes a regular
practice, how can he refrain from objecting? He might also
feel sorry that the dehatma bhavana (a feeling that the body is
identical with Atma) had not yet left people. In his objections,
there will be many fine shades of thought which is not possible
for us to describe exactly.

It has been mentioned in books, that Bhagavan himself
gave vibhuti and the like to Sivaprakasam Pillai and some
other devotees. We have also heard of this from several
people. But then, Bhagavan himself has told us several times
that when there were not many people around, he used to
move with them freely and give them whatever they asked
for. Even now, if he is eating anything and we, longstanding
devotees are there, he gives a portion of it to us. When he
was living on the hill it happened sometimes that there was
not enough food for all the people there, and so he himself
used to mix all the available food, make it into small balls of
equal size and give one to each of them, eating one himself.
It was natural for the devotees to feel that that was prasadam
to the sishyas from the Guru’s hand. That is all. I have never
heard Bhagavan saying that he was giving such things as
anugraha (grace extended to the sishya by the Guru) or that
he had ever done such a thing before.
Recently a devotee who had heard such reports, asked
Bhagavan himself about it: “I hear that Bhagavan gave hastha
mastaka samyogam to a devotee. Is that a fact?” “How is that
possible? As I got up from the sofa or conversed with people
or went about here and there, my hand might have
unintentionally touched their heads, and they might have
taken it as hastha diksha (touching with the hand by way of
blessing). In the case of people with whom I am a bit familiar,
I might even have patted them. That is all. I have never
deliberately done this hastha mastaka samyogam. I like to move
with people freely and in a natural manner. And they might
take it as an act of grace from me. Just because of that, will it
become hastha mastaka samyogam?” said Bhagavan.
About ten or fifteen days back, a sadhu came here and
stayed for a few days. Approaching Bhagavan humbly one
day, he said, “Swami, I pray that, when you take food, you
may be pleased to give me a morsel of food as prasadam.”
“Take all the food you eat as prasadam of the Lord. Then it
becomes God’s prasadam. Isn’t all that we eat Bhagavat-
prasadam? Who is it that eats? Where does he come from? If
you go to the very root of things and know the truth, you
will find that everything is Bhagavat-prasadam,” said
Bhagavan.

(131) “VICHARAMANIMALA”

Prev Next    10th July, 1947
It seems that a book by name Vichara Sagara Sara
Sangraha written by Bhagavan in Tamil about thirty years
ago, was got printed by Arunachala Mudaliar. As, however,
Bhagavan’s name was not mentioned therein, it remained
unknown. Recently, someone took Vichara Sagaram in
Malayalam from the library and while he was returning it,
it came into the hands of Bhagavan. He then remembered
that he had once written Vichara Sagara Sara Sangraha and
enquired where a printed copy was kept. After some search
it was found in a crumpled state. When a devotee was
copying it out for reprinting, Bhagavan asked him to include
the example of a flag in regard to vairagya. When that
devotee asked what is the significance of that example,
Bhagavan said with a smile, “It means the flag of vairagya
for a Jnani and the flag of raga for an ajnani will be there as
if tied before them. One can tell who is a Jnani and who is
an ajnani by seeing that flag. For an ajnani, even if he gets
vairagya on account of mental or physical ailments, it will
be temporary only. The flag of raga will come and stand in
front of him. The flag of vairagya will never move. What
greater sign does a Jnani require than that?”
Someone else asked, “What induced Bhagavan to write
this book?” “Sadhu Nischaladas wrote Vichara Sagaram in
Hindi,” Bhagavan replied. “It is full of arguments.

Arunachala Mudaliar brought a Tamil translation of it and
said, ‘this is very elaborate. Please write a small book
summarising the important points in it’. As he was insistent
and as it would be useful for sadhaks, I wrote it. He
immediately published it. That was about thirty years ago.”
“Why is it that Bhagavan’s name was not mentioned
therein?” the devotee continued. “I was afraid every one
might bring a book and press me to write a summary of it.
So I myself forbade it,” said Bhagavan. “There may be
several similar unknown writings. It would be a good thing
if they could be published,” I said. “Is that so? Have you no
other work to do?” said Bhagavan and assumed mouna.
Bhagavan felt that the name of the book was not
satisfactory and so changed it recently into Vicharamanimala.
When they were thinking of sending it to the press for
publication with Bhagavan’s name on it, I felt that it would
be better if Bhagavan himself wrote it in Telugu. I was afraid
he would not agree, so I said nothing. Mouni (Srinivasa Rao)
made Rajagopala Iyer request Bhagavan to write it in Telugu
also, so that both could be published at one time and said to
me encouragingly, “Nagamma, why don’t you also ask
Bhagavan?” I accordingly prayerfully requested Bhagavan.
For some time he argued saying, “Am I a Telugu Pandit?
Why don’t you write it? Why should I?” However, as he is
full of kindness, he himself eventually translated it into
Telugu in answer to our prayers. It will shortly be published
in both languages. It is in prose. Each sentence is like a sutra.

(132) RESIDENTS IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES

Prev Next    12th July, 1947
Arvind Bose, a longstanding Bengali devotee, had one
son and one daughter. The son, a stalwart young man,
suddenly passed away before he completed his eighteenth
year. Bose was very much grieved and to get relief he used
to ask Bhagavan questions now and then. Today also, he
asked some questions. Even in that question, his grief was
evident. Bhagavan, as usual, asked him to enquire into the
Self and find out. He was not satisfied. Bhagavan then said,
“All right. I will tell you a story from Vichara Sagaram. Listen.”
So saying, he began telling us the following story:
“Two youngsters by name Rama and Krishna, told their
respective parents that they would go to foreign countries to
prosecute further studies and then earn a lot of money. After
some time, one of them died suddenly. The other studied
well, earned a lot and was living happily. Some time later the
one that was alive requested a merchant who was going to
his native place to tell his father that he was wealthy and
happy and that the other who had come with him had passed
away. Instead of passing on the information correctly, the
merchant told the father of the person that was alive that his
son was dead and the father of the person that was dead,
that his son had earned a lot of money and was living happily.

The parents of the person that was actually dead, were happy
in the thought that their son would come back after some
time while the parents of the person whose son was alive but
was reported to be dead, were in great grief. In fact, neither
of them saw their son but they were experiencing happiness
or grief according to the reports received. That is all. It is
only when they go to that country they will know the truth.
We too are similarly situated. We believe all sorts of things
that the mind tells us and get deluded into thinking that
what exists does not exist and that what does not exist, exists.
If we do not believe the mind but enter the heart and see
the son that is inside, there is no need to see the children
outside.”
About a year back, a Rani from Bombay Presidency
came here. She was a good lady and a mother of several
children. Her husband was staying in foreign countries.
However courageous she might be, would she not feel his
absence? We all thought she came here hoping to get peace
of mind by Bhagavan’s darshan. Accordingly, you know what
happened? Having heard that Muruganar had written
several songs and verses in Tamil about Bhagavan, she
requested Bhagavan through a friend, to get some of the
good ones translated into English.
Though Bhagavan said in an indifferent manner, “What
do I know? Better ask Muruganar himself,” by the time
I went there at 2-30 p.m. he was turning over the pages of
the book, leaving book-marks here and there and showing
them to Sundaresa Iyer. I sat down, surprised at that
kindness. Looking at me, Bhagavan said, “That Rani
requested me to select some songs from Muruganar’s book
and get them translated into English. In his book Sannidhi
Murai there is a portion called ‘Bringasandesam’. I put some
marks in that portion. The bhava is that of a nayika (heroine)
and of a nayaka (hero). The mind is nayika. Ramana is nayaka.
The bee (the unwavering buddhi) is the maid. The gist of the
songs marked is: the heroine says to her maid, ‘My Ramana
has disappeared. Search and bring him’. The maid says, ‘Oh,
mistress! When your Ramana is in your own self, where can
I search for him? If at any time, the food given is hot, you
say, ‘Oh! my Ramana, my lord, is in my heart; will he not get
burnt with this heat? Now where do you want me to search?
When your Lord is within yourself, where can I search for
him? Give up this delusion. Join the Lord that is within
yourself and be peaceful’. This is the gist of those songs.
I marked them as they may be of use to her. Poor lady! There
is no knowing where her husband is. The mind is troubled.
So, we shall have to tell her to adapt her mental attitude.
I felt that these verses would be appropriate.”
Meanwhile, the Rani came, Lokamma was made to
sing those songs and Sundaresa Iyer to give the meaning
in English. She was satisfied. We thought that Bhagavan,
by this opportunity, taught us that one should not grieve
over people residing in foreign countries but should turn
the mind inward so that the atma swarupa (the Lord in the
self) will be close to us at all times.

(133) AKSHAYALOKAM (THE ETERNAL WORLD)

Prev Next    18th July, 1947
The day before yesterday a Tamil young man
approached Bhagavan in the afternoon and said: “Swami,
when I lay down doing dhyana today, I fell asleep. Someone,
I can’t say who, appeared to me in my sleep. Seeing me, he
said in a firm tone, ‘God has come down as an avatar of
Kalki with fourteen heads. He is being brought up
somewhere’. I have come here thinking that Bhagavan will
be able to tell me where that Kalki avatar now is.”
“I see. Why did you not ask the person himself who appeared
in your dream about it? You should have asked him at the time.

What is lost even now? Go on doing dhyana until he comes back
and tells you,” said Bhagavan. Unable to understand the
significance of that, the young man said, “Will he really come
back to me and give me the required information if I go on
doing dhyana?” “You may or may not be informed where that
avatara purusha is. If only you do not give up dhyana but do it
continuously you will realise the Truth. Then there will be no
room for any doubts,” said Bhagavan.
Taking advantage of this conversation, another person
asked, “It is said that God lives in an eternal world. Is this
true?” Bhagavan replied, “If we are in a temporary world,
He may be in an eternal world. Are we in a temporary world?
If this is true, that also is true. If we are not real, where is the
world and where is time?”
In the meanwhile, a young boy, four-years old, entered
the hall with a toy motor car. Seeing that, Bhagavan said, “See.
Instead of the car carrying us, we are carrying the car. That is
right,” and laughed. Later, looking at us all, he said, “Look,
this also can be taken as an example. We say, ‘we sat in the
motor car’, ‘the motor car is carrying us’, ‘we have come in
the car’, ‘the car has brought us here’. Will the car which is
inanimate move without our driving it? No. Who drives? We.
So also this world. Where is the world without our being in it?
There must be someone to see the beauty of this world, and
understand it. Who is the seer? He. He is everywhere. Then
what is transient and what is permanent? If one knows the
truth through Self-enquiry there will be no problems.”
Bhagavan has already written the same thing like a sutra in
verse No. 19 in his “Sad Vidya” (“Unnadhi Nalupadhi”).

(134) JNANADRISHTI (SUPERNATURAL VISION)

Prev Next    20th July, 1947
Bhagavan used to write slokas, padyas and prose on small
bits of paper, whenever he felt like it or whenever anyone
requested him to write. Quite a number of them have been
lost but whatever were available we gathered and kept them
carefully. I wanted to stitch a small book of white paper and
paste them all in. I mentioned this to Bhagavan now and
then but he always said, “Why bother?”
Yesterday afternoon, I was bent upon pasting them and
so when I requested him, he said, “Why? If all of them are
in one place, someone or other will take it away finding that
it contains all Swami’s writings. We can’t say anything. Swami
is the common property of all. It is better to leave them
separate.” I then understood the real reason why Bhagavan
was unwilling and so gave up my attempt.

In the meantime, a fussy young man who had recently
come, asked, “Swami, it seems a Jnani has jnanadrishti
(supernatural vision) besides bahyadrishti (external vision). Will
you please do me the favour of giving me that jnanadrishti? Or
will you tell me where there is a person who could give it to
me?” Bhagavan replied, “That jnanadrishti must be acquired
by one’s own effort and is not something that anybody can
give.” That devotee said, “It is said that the Guru himself can
give it if he so pleases.” Bhagavan replied, “The Guru can
only say ‘if you follow this path, you will gain jnanadrishti’. But
who follows it? A Guru who is a Jnani is only a guide but the
walking (i.e. the sadhana) must be done by the sishyas
themselves.” The young man felt disappointed and went away.
A little later, a devotee’s child of about five or six years
of age, residing in Ramana Nagar, brought two raw fruits
from their garden and gave them to Bhagavan. She used
to bring sweets and fruits now and then and give them to
Bhagavan. On all such occasions, Bhagavan used to say,
“Why all this?” But he ate them all the same. Yesterday, he
gave them back without eating and said, “Take this fruit
home, cut it into small bits and give them to all the others
saying, ‘This is to Bhagavan, this is to Bhagavan’ and you
also eat some. Bhagavan is within everybody. Why do you
bring them everyday? I told you not to. Give them to
everybody there. Bhagavan is within everybody. Please go.”
That girl went away disappointed. Looking at me,
Bhagavan said, “Children take great pleasure in such things.
If they say they will give Swami something they know they
will also get something out of it. When I was on the hill,
little boys and girls used to come to me whenever they had
a holiday. They used to ask their parents for money and
bring with them packets of sweets, biscuits and the like.
I used to sit along with them and get my share.”
“So you used to enjoy the feast like Bala Gopala,”
I said. “If they say they will take something for Swami, they
know they will get something for themselves. It is all right if
that is done once in a way. But why every day? If all of them
eat, isn’t it equivalent to my eating?” said Bhagavan. I was
happy and pleased at Bhagavan so clearly illustrating to us
how he is in everybody.
You know what happened a week or ten days ago! In
the morning at breakfast, someone served more oranges to
Bhagavan than to the others. Seeing that, Bhagavan
completely stopped taking oranges. Four or five days back,
when devotees appealed to him to resume taking oranges,
Bhagavan said, “Is it not enough if you all eat?” The devotees
said, “Isn’t it painful for us to eat when Bhagavan doesn’t?
That is why we are appealing to you to excuse us.” Bhagavan
said, “What is there to excuse? I don’t like them so much.”
When they said, “They are good for Bhagavan’s health,” he
replied, saying, “Look, there are about a hundred people
taking breakfast. I am eating through so many mouths. Isn’t
that enough? Should it be through this mouth only?”
That is jnanadrishti. Who can give it to others?

(135) HEARING, MEDITATION AND THE LIKE

Prev Next    19th July, 1947
Yesterday, two pandits came from Kumbakonam. This
morning at 9 o’clock, they approached Bhagavan and said,
“Swami, we take leave of you. We pray that you may be
pleased to bless us that our mind may merge or dissolve
itself in shanti.” Bhagavan nodded his head as usual. After
they had left, he said, looking at Ramachandra Iyer, “shanthi
is the original state. If what comes from outside is rejected
what remains is peace. What then is there to dissolve or
merge? Only that which comes from outside has to be
thrown out. If people whose minds are mature are simply
told that the swarupa itself is shanti, they get jnana. It is only
for immature minds that sravana and manana are prescribed,
but for mature minds there is no need of them. If people at
a distance enquire how to go to Ramana Maharshi, we have
to tell them to get into such and such a train or take such
and such a path, but if they come to Tiruvannamalai, reach
Ramanasramam and step into the hall, it is enough if only
they are told, here is that person. There is no need for
them to move any farther.”
“Sravana and manana mean only those described in
Vedanta, don’t they?” asked some one. “Yes,” Bhagavan
replied, “but one thing, not only are there outward sravana
and manana but there are also inward sravana and manana.

They must occur to a person as a result of the maturity of
his mind. Those that are able to do that antara sravana
(hearing inwardly) do not have any doubts.”
Whenever any one asked what those antara sravanas are,
he used to say, “Antara sravana means the knowledge of that
Atma which is in the cave of the heart always illuminated with
the feeling ‘aham, aham’ (‘I, I’), and to get that feeling to be in
one’s heart is manana, and to remain in one’s self is nididhyasa.”
In this connection, it is worth while remembering the
sloka written by Bhagavan bearing on this subject. In that sloka
mention is made not only to Atma sphurana but also how to
secure it. Securing means only remaining in one’s own self.
ùdyk...hrmXye kevl< äümaÇm!,
ýhmhimit sa]adaTmêpe[ Éait,
ùid ivz mnsa Svm! icNvta m3⁄4ta va,
pvncln raexadaTminóae Év Tvm!.
Brahman is glowing lustrously in the middle of the cave
of the Heart in the shape of the Self, always proclaiming
‘I am, I am’. Become an Atmanishta, a Self-realised person,
either by making the mind absorbed in the search of the
Self or by making the mind drown itself through control
of the breath.

(136) THE ATTITUDE OF SILENCE

Prev Next    3rd September, 1947
I went to Bhagavan’s sannidhi (presence) at 3 o’clock
this afternoon and joined the group of people around him
in their discussions. Bhagavan casually remarked that Adi
Sankara wrote “Dakshinamurthy Stotram”
1
in three parts
and said, “Sri Sankara felt like singing in praise of Sri
Dakshinamurthy but then, Dakshinamurthy being the
1
Dakshinamurthy is Siva incarnate as a youth, teaching in Silence.

Bhagavan has been identified with Dakshinamurthy.
embodiment of silence, the problem was how to describe
silence. He therefore analysed the three attributes of silence,
namely, Srishti (creation) Sthithi (preservation) and Laya
(dissolution) and thus offered his salutations to
Dakshinamurthy. Dakshinamurthy is the embodiment of
these three attributes which do not have any discernible
characteristics or distinguishing marks. How else can silence
be eulogised?”
Taking up the thread of the conversation a devotee said,
“Dandapani Swami told us several years back that on a
Mahasivarathri
2
day, devotees gathered around Bhagavan
saying, ‘Bhagavan must explain to us today the meaning of
“Dakshinamurthy Ashtakam” (Eight Slokas in Praise of
Dakshinamurthy). Bhagavan however, sat in silence, smiling.
After waiting for some time the devotees went away feeling
that, by his continued silence, Bhagavan had taught them
that silence alone was the true meaning of those slokas. Is
that a fact?”
Bhagavan (with a smile): “Yes. That is true.”
I (with some surprise): “So that means Bhagavan gave
a silent commentary?”
Bhagavan: “Yes. It was a silent commentary.”
Another devotee: “Mouna means abiding in the Self,
isn’t it?”
Bhagavan: “Yes. That is so. Without abiding in the Self,
how could it be mouna (silence)?”
Devotee: “That is just what I am asking. Would it be
mouna if one were to completely refrain from speech without
at the same time having an awareness of the Self and abiding
therein?”
2
Great Night of Siva (in February each year).
Bhagavan: “How could real mouna be achieved? Some
people say that they are observing mouna by keeping their
mouths shut but at the same time they go on writing
something or other on bits of paper or on a slate. Is not that
another form of activity of the mind?”
Another devotee: “Is there then no benefit at all in
refraining from speech?”
Bhagavan: “A person may refrain from speech in order
to avoid the obstacles of the outer world, but he should not
consider that to be an end in itself. True Silence is really
endless speech; there is no such thing as attaining it because
it is always present. All you have to do is to remove the
worldly cobwebs that enshroud it; there is no question of
attaining it.”
While we were thus engaged in discussions, someone
said that a broadcasting company was thinking of
recording Bhagavan’s voice. Bhagavan laughed and said,
“Oho! You don’t say so! But my voice is Silence, isn’t it?
How can they record Silence? That which Is, is Silence.
Who could record it?”
The devotees sat quiet, exchanging glances and there
was absolute silence in the hall. Bhagavan, the embodiment
of Dakshinamurthy, sat in the Attitude of Silence (mouna
mudra) facing southwards.
3
That living image, his body, was
radiant with the Light of the Self. Today is indeed a
memorable day.
3
One meaning of the name Dakshinamurthy is ‘The Southward
facing’. The Guru (teacher) is the spiritual North Pole and,
therefore, traditionally faces south.

(137) BEYOND THE THREE STATES

Prev Next    6th September, 1947
Last month, during my sister-in-law’s stay here, the proofs
of the Telugu version of the ‘Vichara Mani Mala’ (Self-enquiry)
were received. In the afternoon Bhagavan corrected them
and passed them on to me. On reading them, my sister-in-
law asked me the meaning of swapnatyanta nivritti. I tried to
explain, but as I was not sure myself, I could not satisfy her
fully. On noticing this, Bhagavan asked, “What is the matter?
Is there a mistake?”
I replied, “No. She is asking the meaning of swapnatyanta
nivritti.”
Bhagavan said kindly, “It means absolute, dreamless
sleep.”
I asked, “Would it be true to say that a Jnani has no
dreams?”
Bhagavan: “He has no dream-state.”
My sister-in-law was still not satisfied, but as people
began to talk about other things, we had to leave the matter
there. Only at night she said, “In the Vasishtam
1
it is stated
that a Realized Soul appears to perform actions, but they do
not affect him at all. We ought to have asked Bhagavan the
real meaning of this.”
On going to the Ashram next morning, it so happened
that Bhagavan was just then explaining the very point to
Sundaresa Iyer. Eagerly availing herself of the opportunity,
my sister-in-law again asked, “Bhagavan has stated that
Swapnatyanta nivritti means absolute, dreamless sleep. Does
it mean that a Jnani does not have dreams at all?”
1
Yoga Vasishtam is a book on yoga by Vasishta Maharshi.

Bhagavan: “It is not only the dream-state, but all three
states are unreal to the Jnani. The real state of the Jnani is
where none of these three states exists.”
I asked, “Is not the waking state also equivalent to a
dream?”
Bhagavan: “Yes, whereas a dream lasts for a short time,
the waking state lasts longer. That is the only difference.”
I: “Then deep sleep is also a dream?”
Bhagavan: “No, deep sleep is an actuality. How can it
be a dream when there is no mental activity? However, since
it is a state of mental vacuity, it is nescience (avidya) and must
therefore be rejected.”
I persisted, “But is not deep sleep also said to be a
dream state?”
Bhagavan: “Some may have said so for the sake of
terminology, but really there is nothing separate. Short or
long duration applies only to the dream and waking states.
Someone may say: ‘we have lived so long and these houses
and belongings are so clearly evident to us that it surely can’t
be all a dream’. But we have to remember that even dreams
seem long while they last. It is only when you wake up that
you realize that they only lasted a short time. In the same
way, when one attains Realization (jnana), this life is seen to
be momentary. Dreamless sleep means nescience; therefore
it is to be rejected in favour of the state of pure Awareness.”
My sister-in-law then interposed, “It is said that the
bliss that occurs in deep sleep is experienced in the state of
samadhi
2
as well, but how is that to be reconciled with the
statement that deep sleep is a state of nescience?”
2
Samadhi means perfect absorption of thought in the one object of
meditation, i.e., the Supreme Spirit (the 8th and last stage of yoga).
Bhagavan: “That is why deep sleep has also to be
rejected. It is true that there is bliss in deep sleep, but one is
not aware of it. One only knows about it afterwards when
one wakes up and says that one has slept well. Samadhi means
experiencing this bliss while remaining awake.”
I: “So it means waking, or conscious sleep?”
Bhagavan: “Yes, that’s it.”
My sister-in-law then brought up the other cognate
question that had worried her: “It is said by Vasishta that a
Realized Soul seems to others to be engaged in various
activities, but he is not affected by them at all. Is it because of
their different outlook that it seems so to others, or is he
really unaffected?”
Bhagavan: “He is really unaffected.”
My sister-in-law: “People speak of favourable visions,
both in dream and while awake; what are they”?
Bhagavan: “To a Realized Soul they all seem the same.”
However she persisted, “It is stated in Bhagavan’s
biography that Ganapati Muni had a vision of Bhagavan
when he was at Tiruvottiyur and Bhagavan was at
Tiruvannamalai, and that, at the very same time, Bhagavan
had a feeling of accepting homage. How can such things be
explained?”
Bhagavan answered cryptically, “I have already stated
that such things are what are known as divine visions.” He
was then silent, indicating that he was not willing to continue
the talk any further.

(138) SAMADHI

Prev Next    8th September, 1947
This morning, a European who was sitting in front of
Bhagavan said through an interpreter:
“It is stated in the Mandukyopanishad that, unless samadhi,
i.e., the 8th and last stage of yoga, is also experienced, there
can be no liberation (moksha) however much meditation
(dhyana) or austerities (tapas) are performed. Is that so?”
Bhagavan: “Rightly understood, they are the same. It
makes no difference whether you call it meditation or
austerities or absorption, or anything else. That which is
steady, continuous like the flow of oil, is austerity, meditation
and absorption. To be one’s own Self is samadhi.”
Questioner: “But it is said in the Mandukyopanishad that
samadhi must necessarily be experienced before attaining
liberation.”
Bhagavan: “And who says that it is not so? It is stated
not only in the Mandukyopanishad but in all the ancient books.

But it is true samadhi only if you know your Self. What is the
use of sitting still for some time like a lifeless object? Suppose
you get a boil on your hand and have it operated under
chloroform; you don’t feel any pain at the time, but does
that mean that you were in samadhi? It is the same with this
too. One has to know what samadhi is. And how can you
know it without knowing your Self? If the Self is known,
samadhi will be known automatically.”
Meanwhile, a Tamil devotee opened the Tiruvachakam
and began singing the “Songs on Pursuit”. Towards the end
comes the passage, “Oh, Ishwara,
*
You are trying to flee,
*
Ishwara signifies the personal God.
but I am holding You fast. So where can You go and how
can You escape from me?”
Bhagavan commented with a smile: “So it seems that He
is trying to flee and they are holding Him fast! Where could
He flee to? Where is He not present? Who is He? All this is
nothing but a pageant. There is another sequence of ten songs
in the same book, one which goes, ‘O my Lord! You have
made my mind Your abode. You have given Yourself upto me
and in return have taken me into You. Lord, which of us is
the cleverer? If You have given Yourself up to me, I enjoy
endless bliss, but of what use am I to You, even though You
have made of my body Your Temple out of Your boundless
mercy to me? What is it I could do for you in return? I have
nothing now that I could call my own.’ This means that there
is no such thing as ‘I’. See the beauty of it! Where there is no
such thing as ‘I’, who is the doer and what is it that is done,
whether it be devotion or Self-enquiry or samadhi?”

(139) REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE

Prev Next    10th September, 1947
At a quarter to ten this morning, just as Bhagavan was
getting up to go for his usual short mid-morning walk, an
Andhra young man approached the couch and said, “Swami,
I have come here because I want to perform austerities (tapas)
and don’t know which would be the proper place for it. I
will go wherever you direct me.”
Bhagavan did not answer. He was bending down,
rubbing his legs and knees, as he often does before beginning
to walk, on account of his rheumatic trouble, and was smiling
quietly to himself. We, of course, eagerly waited to hear what
he would say. A moment later he took the staff that he uses to
steady himself while walking, and looking at the young man,
said, “How can I tell you where to go for performing tapas? It
is best to stay where you are.” And with a smile he went out.

The young man was confused. “What is the meaning
of this?” he exclaimed. “Being an elderly person, I thought
he would tell me of some holy place where I could stay,
but instead of that he tells me to stay where I am. I am
now near this couch. Does that mean that I should stay
here near the couch? Was it to receive such a reply that I
approached him? Is this a matter for jokes?”
One of the devotees took him out of the hall and
explained, “Even when Bhagavan says something in a lighter
vein there is always some deep meaning in it. Where the feeling
‘I’ arises is one’s Self. Tapas means knowing where the Self is
and abiding in it. For knowing that, one has to know who one
is; and when one realises one’s Self what does it matter where
one stays? This is what he meant.” He thus pacified the young
man and sent him away.
Similarly, someone asked yesterday, “Swami, how can
we find the Self (Atma)?”
“You are in the Self; so how can there be any difficulty
in finding it?” Bhagavan replied.
“You say that I am in the Self, but where exactly is that
Self?” the questioner persisted.
“If you abide in the heart and search patiently you will
find it,” was the reply.
The questioner still seemed unsatisfied, and made the
rather curious observation that there was no room in his
heart for him to stay in it.
Bhagavan turned to one of the devotees sitting there
and said smiling, “Look how he worries about where the Self
is! What can I tell him? What Is, is the Self. It is all-pervading.
When I tell him that it is called ‘Heart’ he says there is no
room in it for him to stay. What can I do? To say that there is
no room in the heart after filling it with unnecessary vasanas
*
is like grumbling that there is no room to sit down in a house
as big as Sri Lanka. If all the junk is thrown out, won’t there
be room? The body itself is junk. These people are like a man
who fills all the rooms of his house chokeful with unnecessary
junk and then complains that there is no room for keeping
his body in it. In the same way they fill the mind with all sorts
of impressions and then say there is no room for the Self in it.
If all the false ideas and impressions are swept away and thrown
out what remains is a feeling of plenty and that is the Self
itself. Then there will be no such thing as a separate ‘I’; it will
be a state of egolessness. Where then is the question of a room
or an occupant of the room? Instead of seeking the Self people
say, ‘no room! no room!’, just like shutting your eyes and saying
there is ‘no sun! no sun!’. What can one do under such
circumstances?”

(140) ONLY ONE AND ALL–PERVADING SELF

Prev Next    11th September, 1947
Yesterday, a sadhu came and sat in the Hall. He seemed
anxious to speak to Bhagavan, but hesitant. After some time,
he approached him and said, “Swami, it is said that the Self
(atma), is all-pervading. Does that mean that it is in a dead
body also?”
*
vasana: The impression unconsciously left on the mind by past
good or bad actions, which therefore produces pleasure or pain.

“Oho! So that is what you want to know?” rejoined
Bhagavan. “And did the question occur to the dead body or
to you?”
“To me,” said the sadhu.
Bhagavan: “When you are asleep do you question
whether you exist or not? It is only after you wake up that
you say you exist. In the dream state also, the Self exists.
There is really no such thing as a dead or a living body. That
which does not move we call dead, and that which has
movement we call alive. In dreams you see any number of
bodies, living and dead, and they have no existence when
you wake up. In the same way this whole world, animate
and inanimate, is non-existent. Death means the dissolution
of the ego, and birth means the rebirth of the ego. There
are births and deaths, but they are of the ego; not of you.
You exist whether the sense of ego is there or not. You are
its source, but not the ego-sense. Deliverance (mukti) means
finding the origin of these births and deaths and demolishing
the ego-sense to its very roots. That is deliverance. It means
death with full awareness. If one dies thus, one is born again
simultaneously and in the same place with Aham sphurana
known as ‘Aham, Aham (I, I)’. One who is born thus, has no
doubts whatsoever.”
Yesterday evening, after the chanting of the Vedas, a
young European who came four or five days ago, asked
Bhagavan a number of questions. Bhagavan, as usual,
countered him with the question, “Who are you? Who is
asking these questions?” Unable to get any other elucidation,
the young man as a last resort asked Bhagavan which verse
of the Gita he liked the most, and Bhagavan replied that he
liked them all. When the young man still persisted in asking
which was the most important verse, Bhagavan told him,
Chapter X, Verse 20 which runs: “I am the Self, Oh
Gudakesa
1
, seated in the heart of all beings. I am the
beginning and the middle and the end of all beings.”
The questioner was pleased and satisfied and on taking
leave, said, “Swami, this unreal self is obliged to travel owing
to the exigencies of work. I pray that you may be pleased to
recommend that this unreal self be merged into the real Self.”
Bhagavan, smiling, replied, “Such a recommendation
might be necessary where there are a number of different
selves — one to ask for a recommendation, one to
recommend and one to hear the recommendation. But there
are not so many selves. There is only one Self. Everything is
in the one Self.”





(Continued  ...)

My humble salutations to the lotus feet of Bhagavan Sree Ramana Maharshi
and also gratitude to great philosophers and others     for the collection)