Day by Day with Bhagavan
In this connection Bhagavan also quoted two stanzas,
one from Thayumanavar and the other from Nammalvar, the
gist of both of which is: “Though I have been thinking I was
a separate entity and talking of ‘I’ and ‘mine’, when I began
to enquire about this ‘I’, I found you alone exist.” The two
stanzas and their meaning are given below:
1. Sôö] RuûUùVuß SôPôUp SôP®uT
Yôö¡ ¨u\{ ¿ Yô¯ TWôTWúU—(RôÙUô]Yo)
2. Vôú] ùVu{ V±V ¡XôúR
Vôú] ùVu\] úRùVu ±ÚkúRu
Vôú] ¿Fu àûPûUÙ ¿úV
Yôú] úVjÕùUm Yô]Y úWú\.—(SmUôrYôo)
(1) Searching who this ‘I’ was,
Soon I found
You only standing as the heaven of bliss,
You only, blessed Lord! — (Thayumanavar)
(2) Not knowing who I was,
I used to speak of ‘I’ and ‘mine’
But I am You and mine is You,
Lord whom all the gods adore. — (Nammalvar)
24-1-46 Morning
Bhagavan picked out the above two verses for me and
also quoted the following two lines from the 7th stanza of
‘A]kR Uô]TWm’ in Thayumanavar:
*Sôö¡ ¨u\Yà ¿Vô¡ ¨u±PÜ
Sôù]uT Rt± PôúR
SôuSôu F]dÏ[± Sôö ®Lô¬Vôn
Sô]±k R±Vô ûUVôn
Though I have become You and You alone exist
Undestroyed the ‘I’ persists
As I within that knows
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And I that turns to what is known,
The many things knowing and unknowing —
Bhagavan added that many similar quotations could be
found elsewhere among Alwar’s songs. Dr. S. Rao took the
book ‘§ÚYônùUô¯’ (Tiruvoimozhi) from Bhagavan’s hand
and said, “I see there is a commentary also.” On this stanza
which says, “I discover that I am You, and all that I called
mine is You,” the Visishtadvaita commentator said, “I reached
so near God as to regard I and mine as God himself.”
Dr. S. Rao said, “The Self-realised ones could not possibly
differ among themselves and the leaders of the various schools,
if they were Self-realised men, could not have said anything
contradictory to each other’s teachings. But their followers must
have misunderstood or misinterpreted their teachings in such a
way as to lead to all these schisms and latter day quarrels.” Dr.
S. Rao said that, while he was at Salem, a gentleman often
quoted to him a verse from Saint Nammalvar in which the Alwar
describes the deity at Tirupati as both Vishnu and Siva.
The post brought an English translation from Mr. D.S.
Sastri of his sister’s Telugu letters regarding Bhagavan’s trip
to Skandasramam on 25-11-45, and the same was read out in
the hall by Mr. Viswanatha Aiyar. The pathasala boys had
shown Bhagavan a printed picture, “Four rabbits make a great
leader.” When I came to the hall about 10-15, Bhagavan asked
if I had seen it. I said ‘No’, and thereupon he sent for it and
showed it to me. Bhagavan said, “You must first see the four
rabbits and then see how they make up Gandhi.”
Afternoon
When I entered the hall about 3 p.m., Bhagavan was already
searching for the stanza that Dr. S. mentioned. In a little time we
got at the stanza. It begins ‘RôrNûPÙm’ and is said to have
been composed by Peyazhvar when he saw the deity at Tirupati.
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Night
Attendant Krishnaswami told Bhagavan that he wanted to
go to Madras to see Mahatma Gandhi and that he would return
on Sunday. Bhagavan said, “Ask Sarvadhikari. Don’t say
afterwards I gave you permission to go.” He added, “If he goes
away now, the Sarvadhikari may not admit him when he comes
back. If he objects to taking him back on his return from Madras,
what can I do? What authority have I here?” In spite of all this K.
went away, informing Bhagavan he would go and return.
25-1-46 Afternoon
Lokammal sang Tirukkazhukkunra Pathigam from
Tiruvachakam. Muruganar thereupon asked what the meaning
of ‘Sôù÷÷RúRôo SôQùUn§’ (became ashamed without
becoming ashamed) was. Bhagavan said it might be one of
those expressions like SôPôUp Sô¥ ¨{VôUp ¨{kÕ
(searched without searching; thought without thinking) and
¨{VôUp FlT¥ ¨{d¡\Õ. BùRpXôm Fu]úUô
ùNôp\Õ. úYú\ ùNôpX Y¯«p~. (How is one to think
without thinking? These are all ways of saying. There is no
other way of saying.) Similarly Muruganar asked what the
allusion was in ‘BVd¡ Uô\ÚTjÕ SôpYûW Fi ÏQm
ùLôiP CNú]’ (O Lord, who bestowed the eight spiritual
attainments on the sixty-four Yakshas). Bhagavan was not sure,
but thought it was one of the stories in Tiruvilaiyadal Puranam.
I went and brought my copy of Tiruvachakam with commentary
by Subramaniam Pillai. On ‘Sôù÷÷R’ etc., the book threw
no light at all. As for the latter line, the book said the allusion
was to the story of Uttrakosamangai. Bhagavan got the
Tiruvilaiyadal Puranam but could not find the story there. The
story found there was another, though also about six ‘BVdLo’
(Yakshas). Muruganar remarked, “This story of
Uttarakosamangai does not seem to have been published. It
appears that many things in saint Manikkavachagar’s life and
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many sayings or songs of his would be better elucidated if we
could get at the above book. We must enquire to see if that
book can be had.”
Night
After parayana, Bhagavan asked Viswanatha Iyer, “What
places did you visit?” V. replied, “We went to Guha
Namasivayar’s Cave, the Mango Tree Cave, Virupakshi Cave
and Skandasramam. We returned by the new path which is so
well made that we could return without effort. It is such a slope.”
Bhagavan asked whether they went by a cross cut from Mulaipal
Thirtham and V. said ‘Yes’. Bhagavan said, “When I now see
those places, I wonder how we lived in those places which were
then all rocks, stones and thorns. But then, we were quite
comfortable and at home. We never felt any inconvenience.
There would be no light. We would walk even in the dark among
all those rocks and shrubs. As one remarked, we had both lights
and eyes in our feet”. When I stepped out of the hall Miss Soona
Dorabji (she and her father are frequent visitors to the Asramam
and ardent devotees of Bhagavan) told me it was she who was
escorted by Mr. V. to all the above caves.
26-1-46 Morning
Bhagavan mentioned a book about the Madhva school.
Dr. S. Rao took out from the shelf and gave me two pamphlets
by one B. N. Krishnamurti Sarma, formerly of Annamalai
University, on “Certain philosophical bases of Madhva’s theistic
realism”. Bhagavan said that the gentleman came the day before
yesterday and gave these pamphlets in person. “He came and
spoke in Sanskrit. He is the Principal of the Sanskrit College at
Tiruvaiyar. He says everyone must speak in Sanskrit. He says
he has read a lot and is not able to realise the truth. We advised
him to read our books and see if they help. He has taken some
books from here.”
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Bhagavan looked into these pamphlets for a few minutes
here and there. But he was not interested and said, “This is all
for scholars.” Dr. S. pointed out a certain passage dealing with
mukti and saying that, even after mukti, each jiva retains its
individuality, that among those who have attained mukti there
are several grades, with a hierarchy of jivas, and so on. Dr. S.
said, “So long as there are others, one will have fear. So long as
there are higher stages, one will have a desire to reach them. So
this can’t be that stage without fear or desire which alone can
yield perfect peace.” Bhagavan approved of this and quoted a
Sanskrit text about that Supreme State without fear or desire.
The blind Muslim from the Punjab (already referred to)
again came to the hall today. Bhagavan read an account only
a few minutes ago in the Swadesamitran of a blind man of
Nellore, aged 41, who had darshan of Mahatma Gandhi at
Madras and who could repeat the entire Gita with Sankara’s
commentary. This led us to talk about the similarity in the
two cases, as this Muslim can repeat the whole Quran.
Bhagavan was reading the Telugu paper Zamin Ryot and came
across some verses in Telugu by Kanakamma and Lakshmi
Bai of Nellore (devotees of Bhagavan and frequent visitors
here). He asked Balaram to cut the verses and paste them in
the file book. “These verses were composed and read out here
last Jayanti but are published now in the paper,” Bhagavan
told us. The verses were read out in the hall by Nagamma today,
at Mrs. Taleyarkhan’s request. When the bell rang for lunch,
Bhagavan said about the blind Muslim, “See if he will stay for
lunch; and if so, somebody who knows Hindi must take charge
of him and be with him”, and he was satisfied only after we
said that he would be looked after carefully by us.
Afternoon
At Mrs. Taleyarkhan’s request, Nagamma read out, and
Balaram translated into English, her account of what took
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place here on Mattu Pongal day. She also read out another
account of what took place one day in September when some
Bangalore devotees brought two pigeons and requested
Bhagavan to keep them in the Asramam. How the pigeons
had the great good fortune to be caressed by Bhagavan and to
be seated on his lap, and how for nearly one hour they remained
quiet as if in samadhi, was all beautifully recorded by
Nagamma and Mr. Balaram translated this also.
I had the pamphlet on Madhva’s Philosophy in my hand
and Bhagavan asked me, “Have you read it?” I said, “This does
not interest me. As Bhagavan remarked, it might interest only
great scholars. But I find this author also asks, as I sometimes
used to feel, ‘Why should we refuse to treat anything as real
unless it exists always’?” Bhagavan said, “How can anything be
said to be real which is only a passing show?” Somebody in the
hall said, “All this difficulty arises because of translation into
English. The Sanskrit word is satyam which means, not reality,
but that which exists always.” Balaram also quoted Bhagavad
Gita which says, “That which exists never ceases to exist. That
which does not exist (at any time) has no existence
(BpXôRRàd¡Úl©p~, Ds[Ràd ¡pXôûU
ùVuT§~)”. Sometime later, Subbu Lakshmi Ammal (a
Brahmin widow who has long been doing service in the kitchen
here) told Bhagavan, “I had not so far seen the cave where the
Keerai Patti lived. So I went and saw the place yesterday.”
Bhagavan asked, “Which is the cave you saw?” S. said, “It is
called Alamarathu Guhai. I saw it. Bhagavan said on the day we
all returned from Skandasramam, ‘It is here Keerai Patti lived.’
So I thought it was that cave.” Bhagavan said, “No. That is not
the cave where she lived. She lived only in the mantapam in the
Guhai Namasivayar Temple nearby. I lived in the cave now called
Alamarathu Guhai for some time. There was no banyan tree then.
That tree as well as all the trees on both sides up to Virupakshi
Cave were all planted and watered by Kandaswami who planned
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and created Skandasramam later.” Then Bhagavan, in a
reminiscent mood, added, “This Keerai Patti was at the Big
Temple even when I first came and was sitting at the
Subrahmanyar Temple there. She used to provide food to Sadhus
in the Temple. Later, she began bringing food to me from one
Kammala (blacksmith) lady who used to send it. After some
time that Kammala lady herself began bringing the food to me,
instead of sending it through Keerai Patti. Then Keerai Patti used
to have a big jata (matted locks). When I afterwards came to live
in Virupakshi Cave, she was living in the Guhai Namasivayar
Temple and she had then removed all her hair. She lived in the
mantapam there and used to worship the images of Namasivayar,
etc., carved on the walls and pillars of the mantapam. The priest
would come and worship the image inside. But she worshipped
and offered food to the images on the wall in the mantapam
where she lived. She would get up in the morning, go out for a
stroll on the small hill, proceed towards the place where our
Asramam is now and go round to where Skandasramam is and
come down to her place. By that time she would have collected
fuel, cow-dung, etc., and bundle them up behind her back; and in
her lap she would have gathered a lot of green leaves of all sorts
for cooking. She had only one pot. She would first boil water in
that pot and bathe. In the same pot she would cook her rice,
make her sauce, prepare any side dish such as the leaves she had
brought, each by turns, offer the food to the images on the wall
or pillar, bring them to me and then go and have her own meal.
In the evening she would go into the town. There was not a house
in the town which she did not know. She would go and ask for
various things and get them. Coming to me, she would say, ‘A
good soul gave me a handful of broken rice. I have made porridge
out of it.’
“But if one went and looked, there would be in her place
various provisions and a big pot full of broken rice. That was
the sort of woman she was. She was very fond of me. I also
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used to go to her now and then. I would help her sometimes to
gather green leaves, e.g., from a drumstick tree. I would also
help her sometimes in cleaning and plucking the leaves
preparatory to their being cooked. Sometimes I used to stay
there and eat with her.” I asked Bhagavan when she died. He
said, “She died before we came here. She was buried only here,
opposite the Dakshinamurti Temple under a tamarind tree.”
Soon after parayana was over, about 6-15 p.m., the
monkeys (seeing that the window near Bhagavan at which they
used to come and beg for fruits and nuts was closed) came near
the doorway on the same side, and the ladies and children who
wanted to go out of the hall by that doorway were frightened.
In connection with this, Mr. Viswanatha Aiyar used the word
manthi and said it denoted a male monkey. I said, “I believe it
means the very reverse. See this from Pillai Perumal Aiyangar,
‘UiêXk RôùYuß Uk§ LÓYtÏûWlT’ (the manthi asked
her mate to give her roots from the earth).” Thereupon
Muruganar said, manthi is used generally to denote both sexes
and especially to denote the female sex. Bhagavan quoted
Uk§Ï\} ùVôjúR²p~ (I am not like the little one of a
monkey) of Saint Pattinathar and said, “There evidently it must
refer to the mother monkey” and went on to recollect one song
from Thiruppugazh and another from Pattinathar’s DPtátß
YiQm (Udarkkotruvannam) in which the word manthi
occurs. These two songs were picked out at once. The first one
is Palani Vaguppu. The portion referred to in it was read out by
Bhagavan and explained to us. It is in praise of the fertility of
Palani and says, “The manthi sitting on the areca-nut tree sees
the flowers on the sandalwood trees nearby and, thinking they
are hoods of snakes, jumps in fear on to another tree, and the
branches so vacated, first bending down and then rising up strike
against the fully ripe plantain fruits hanging in bunches in the
plantain trees nearby and scatter the plantains, which in their
turn fall on the jack fruits lying underneath and set flowing the
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honey forming in them, so that the same honey released in huge
quantities flows in streams and waters the adjoining forest of
shambaga trees.” All this was explained by Bhagavan. On
previous occasions too I have heard Bhagavan give this as an
example of our poets exaggerating the fertility of a country. The
other lines in Pattinathar were also picked out. They are: YÚYÕ
úTôY ùRôÚØÕ áà Uk§ ùVàmT¥ Ïk§ SPkÕ, U§Ù
ªZkÕ ùN® §ªo YkÕ. Bhagavan read this song right up to
the end, reading the same according to the metre.
27-1-46 Morning
Krishnaswami returned this morning, as he had promised
to do. Bhagavan was making kind enquiries about his trip to
see Gandhiji at Madras. K. said there were huge crowds in the
train and that he had to stand all the way from here to Madras,
that there again there was a crowd of more than a lakh, that
there was an ocean of cars parked at one corner, that anyhow
through the kind offices of some of our friends he sat quite
near Mahatma Gandhi with a 6-rupee ticket, that later all the
crowd rushed in breaking the gates, that Gandhi refused to speak
in any language except Hindi, and so on. Bhagavan said, “You
have seen Gandhi. Now you know and have enjoyed the pleasure
to be got out of such trips,” and so saying he gave back the
ticket with the remark, “Keep it safe. It is worth six rupees”. K.
also brought a number of photographs, big and small, presented
to him by Dr. T.N.K., in many of which he and Bhagavan are
found together. In this connection, Nagamma told Bhagavan
that Viswanatha Iyer’s mother wanted to see Bhagavan’s pictures
taken recently at Skandasramam. He ordered the album to be
brought and shown to the lady and it was done.
K. told Bhagavan, “Dr. T.N.K. said he would send some
medicines through me to Bhagavan, but I had no time even to
meet him again and take them. T.P.R. will bring them.” Bhagavan
said, “Why medicines? What is wrong with me now? I am all
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right. All this is unnecessary fuss. Why did you go and ask him
to send me medicines?” K. said, “I did not ask. He himself said
he would send them; and he is also planning to come and see
Bhagavan.” Bhagavan remarked, “He would have asked you,
‘How is Bhagavan?’ and you would have said something.
Otherwise why should he send medicine?” K. said, “When one
is asked like that, how can one keep quiet? We have to speak.” K.
also told Bhagavan, “Some of our friends wished to suggest to
Mahatma Gandhi that he should visit our Asramam. But when
they consulted Mr. O. P. Ramaswami Reddi, he said: ‘Here none
of us has any access to Mahatma Gandhi. Rajaji alone has
influence’.” Bhagavan thereupon said, “He won’t be allowed to
come to such places” (@YôùVpXôm BeúL ùVpXôm
YW®PUôhPô). About a week ago, Bhagavan was mentioning
that once the Mahatma came to this place, was near the cattle
fair site (a furlong or less from our Asramam), finished his
business there in less time than the time fixed for it, collected a
purse and left the place. K. also brought news that the Mahatma
told people that he was frequently thinking of Bhagavan and had
great reverence for him. Bhagavan said, “Yes. Yes. That may be
so. Whenever anybody tells him he has no peace of mind, he
packs them off here, telling them, ‘Go and stay at Ramanasramam
for a time.’ They come and tell us.”
Later, after 10 a.m. Bhagavan was reading Dinamani and,
coming across an article there on the temple at Perur (near
Coimbatore), read it out to us and said, “It is news to me. We
do not hear of this in the life of Sundaramurti or in the
Periyapuranam. But it may be in the Sthalapuranam.” This is
the story: On a particular day in the year, the God and the
Goddess are taken out to an adjoining field and the festival of
the God and Goddess transplanting seedlings on behalf of a
devotee is celebrated, in memory of the fact, that one day
Sundaramurti Swami entered the temple and found to his
dismay that neither God nor Goddess was there and that on
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searching for them he found them in a field working at
transplanting for this devotee, a Harijan.
28-1-46 Morning
Mr. P. B. Ray, who has been staying here for about a month
now, has finished his Bengali life of Bhagavan. He read his
dedication, translated into English, before Bhagavan, and said
he had first heard of Bhagavan from somebody in Madras some
years ago, and soon after, he began writing this life and it has
taken him four years to complete this. Bhagavan said that long
ago some Bengali had written a small life of his in a Bengali
journal and that some more articles had also appeared in some
Bengali papers or journals about him. Mr. Ray said he had
written the two articles now mentioned by Bhagavan. Thereupon
Bhagavan searched for the other Bengali article and traced it
and gave it to Mr. Ray for perusal. It was in a journal called
Amrut and published in 1934. The author of the article was
Jagadishananda Swami of the Ramakrishna Mission. Mr. Ray
perused it and told me in the evening that the article touched on
all points, but somehow omitted to make any mention of the
experience of Bhagavan arising from the idea of death and
resulting in his Self-realisation, which happened at Madura
before his coming here.
One Gokul Bhai, who was here recently, has written that
he tried to bring Gandhiji here, but he found that Gandhiji
peremptorily ordered that nothing at all should be added to
his programme which was already too crowded. Bhagavan
added, “They can’t find time for all this.”
29-1-46 Afternoon
Bhagavan took up the new edition of Ramana Lila (Telugu
life of Bhagavan) and, casually opening it, came across odd
stanzas composed by him, (like those about drinking water
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before, during and after meals, and about those who run after
siddhis being even worse than the magicians) and expressed
surprise, “He has added all these in this edition. I have not seen
it so far. When did he take all this and add it in this edition?”
While Bhagavan was still looking into this new edition,
a visitor asked, “I came here about a year ago and ever since
I have been trying to follow Bhagavan’s instructions. I am
not however succeeding very well. I try to look at all women
as mothers. But I don’t succeed.” Bhagavan did not reply and
the visitor continued, “While I am at home, it is all right. But
when I go out and see women, I am not able to control my
mind and am swept off my feet. What should I do?” He also
added, “I want atma sakshatkaram; what should I do? I pray
for Bhagavan’s blessings.” After a pause, Bhagavan replied,
“You say you are all right when at home. Be at home, at home
in the mind. Don’t allow it to go outwards, but turn it inwards
and keep it at home there. Then all will be well and you will
have atma sakshatkaram. The trouble is we think we are the
mind. See if we are the mind.”
The visitor said, “I am a grahasta. Still I want to practise
brahmacharya even with my wife. But I am not able to
succeed. What should I do?” Bhagavan replied, “That is
because of age-long vasanas. The sankalpas are so powerful
because they have existed so long. But they will go.”
30-1-46 Afternoon
Bhagavan was reading a letter from Mr. Appu Sastri, who
had visited one Haridyal Maharaj living in a boat on the
Ganges at Benares. The Maharaj (Swami) is reputed to be
two hundred years old. In this connection, Bhagavan said,
“When I was at Gurumurtham my nails had grown about an
inch long and I had a long flowing jata (matted hair) and
people used to talk I was very old in years, though so young
in appearance, and that I had existed like that for centuries!”
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The visitor (referred to in the last entry) told Bhagavan, “I
am going back to my place this night. I have mentioned my
difficulties.”
Bhagavan: Yes. They will go gradually.
Visitor: I pray for Bhagavan’s kripa drishti.
Bhagavan did not reply. Only a few minutes before this
Colombo Ramachandra’s two small girls had finished singing
and almost the last song (composed by their father, an ardent
and long-standing devotee) contained the lines — Li÷úX
TôojRYoLs LYXLt±d L§LôhÓm, @i÷ U~WUQ
@Úh ÏÚYô «ÚlTYtÏ, UeL[m UeL[úU (He who
remains at Annamalai as the gracious Guru who casts his glance
on them, dissipates their sorrows and directs them to salvation).
Night
A visitor, Ananda Swami, brought a reprint from The Hindu
of some date in 1940, in which Maurice Frydman (a devotee of
Bhagavan for the last ten years) gives an account of how, under
circumstances beyond suspicion of fraud, two women prayed,
went into a sort of trance, and then got into their hands
mysteriously and from nowhere some sugar candy and almonds.
The Swami also mentioned that he had seen other instances
himself like this where people received fruits, etc., and asked
Bhagavan what could be the explanation of such occurrences.
Bhagavan replied: “We hear of so many things. There are certain
sects which work for such things. They may see or get such things.
But who sees or gets them? You must see that. In the
Periyapuranam also is mentioned a similar occurrence. A
merchant sent his wife two mangoes saying he would eat them
later with his meal. Before he returned from his business, a sadhu
came saying he was very hungry and the wife, pitying him, gave
him some rice, and, as she had nothing else ready to give with
the rice, one of the mangoes. She hoped the husband would be
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satisfied with only one mango. The husband returned later and
during the meal asked for the mangoes, finished one and finding
it very sweet asked for the other one also. The wife was in a fix,
dreaded her husband’s fury and went into the room where she
had kept the two fruits before and prayed to God for help in this
situation. And lo! One more fruit lay where she had kept the two
fruits, and so she brought it and gave it to her husband. He ate it
and found it much more delicious and giving him an ecstasy and
shanti which he had never before known. So he pressed the wife
to tell the truth about this fruit and got it out of her. In wonder
and still a little incredulous, he asked his wife to pray for and get
another fruit. The wife said she would try, and by God’s grace
got another fruit also. Then it dawned on him she was a saint and
he prostrated himself before her and thinking it was sacrilege for
him to treat her further as his wife, left the village, and went and
lived in some other village. The wife after some time traced him
out and thinking that, as he was her Lord, it was her duty to go to
him, and it was for him to do what he liked with her, she went
towards that village. The husband, getting scent of it, told the
villagers there, ‘A great saint is coming. We must receive her
with due respect, ceremony and pomp, taking out a palanquin
and music with drums, etc.’ Thus he organised a big welcome
and marching at the head of the reception party prostrated himself
first before his wife.
“The wife did not know what to do. She shed the mortal
body and lived in the astral body and eventually reached heaven
taking her husband also there. The woman saint is Karaikkal
Ammaiyar, whose story is found in Periyapuranam.”
We also recalled an incident similar to that narrated by
Frydman and this Ananda Swami, which occurred in Bhagavan’s
hall only a few months back, and which has been recorded in
this diary. Then a Gujarati lady got sugar-candy in her palm after
praying. At Mr. Balaram’s request, the earlier volume of this
diary was brought and Mr. B. read out the entry about the above
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incident as it took place, along with the name and address of the
lady who worked this miracle. Mr. Ramaswami Pillai, an old
inmate of the Asramam condemned giving importance to such
occurrences. He said, “I have seen more wonderful things, such
as a person put inside a box and sawn asunder, and coming out
whole. From such miracles all that I have learnt is that we should
not trust our eyes, that we should never believe a thing to be real
simply because our eyes say so.” Bhagavan also added, “We see
so many wonderful things done. The juggler puts a girl, tied fast,
into a gunny bag and leaves it under a basket and the girl comes
up from somewhere else when he calls her. There is such a thing
as magic.”
By this time it was time for our Tamil parayana. We began
with the 29th stanza in Ramana Deva Malai (of Sivaprakasam
Pillai) and by an odd coincidence it says, “Intellect or buddhi
does not see reality on account of maya” and Bhagavan added
in continuation of our discourse FpXôm UôûV«u ùNVúX
(All is the work of maya), quoting Sivaprakasam Pillai’s words.
31-1-46 Morning
About 8-30 a.m., i.e., nearly half an hour after Dr. S.
Rao had finished massaging Bhagavan’s legs, Bhagavan said
‘©¥fÑi¥Úd¡øl úTô-ÚdÏÕ, TôojRôp A}d
Lôú÷m’ i.e., ‘it looks as if he is massaging. But when I look
for the man, there is none.’
About 11 a.m. a visitor asked, “Bhagavan told me this
morning ‘Unless one knows the reality (yathartham), one
cannot get peace (shanti).’ What is that reality?”
Bhagavan: That which always is, is the reality. It is peace.
Peace is another name for it.
Visitor: How to reach it or how to get peace?
Bhagavan: As I said already, that which is, is peace. All
that we need do is to keep quiet. Peace is our real nature. We
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spoil it. What is required is that we cease to spoil it. We are not
going to create peace anew. There is space in a hall, for instance.
We fill up the place with various articles. If we want space, all
that we need do is to remove all those articles, and we get space.
Similarly if we remove all the rubbish, all the thoughts, from our
minds, the peace will become manifest. That which is obstructing
the peace has to be removed. Peace is the only reality.
Afternoon
Bhagavan was going through the new edition of Ramana
Lila. He feels many errors have been allowed to creep in, in
this edition. Some are due to the proofs not having been
properly looked into, Mr. Venkatakrishnaiah having been at
that time suffering from bad eyesight. But some others are
due to insufficient care in verifying facts. Bhagavan was trying
to correct these, e.g., he corrected 15 years into 5 years, in
connection with Bhagavan’s horoscope given in the book. He
found the direction and location of the river Papaharanadi not
accurate. Such mistakes go against Bhagavan’s grain and so
he patiently goes through the whole book to discover them. It
is too much of a strain for him, especially with his bad eyesight.
1-2-46 Morning
The radio news announced the death of the Maharaja of
Cochin. Bhagavan said, “Is he gone? We read of his illness!”
I said “He must have been old!” Bhagavan said, “Yes. Another
old person may be getting on the throne now. The one that
has passed away got on the throne only a few years ago. Appan
Thambiran (he had visited Bhagavan and written about him),
if he were alive now, would have got the kingship. They have
a long list of princes, awaiting succession.” I said, “They are
generally not only old but very learned and religious — these
Rajas of Cochin.” Bhagavan said, “Yes. They are generally
well-read in Sanskrit. Even when Travancore threw open its
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temples to Harijans, Cochin did not.” Balaram said, “When I
was reading at College, the 42nd prince of Cochin was reading
with me. They have such a long list of heirs in succession.”
Attendant Krishnaswami asked Bhagavan if Cochin was a big
State. Thereupon we talked about Cochin being small, though
Pudukottah was smaller. Somebody said that Pudukottah
became a State because its original owner betrayed his master
and helped the British. From this, the talk drifted to EûUVu
(Oomaiyan) who was a terror to the English in those days,
whom the English could not capture for a long time and who
is said to have been finally captured with the help of the
Pudukottah Paliagar. Bhagavan then said, “There is a fort at
Dindigul. The front entrance used to be guarded and we boys
were not allowed to enter in. We used to go to the farthest end
of the wall, climb it, jump down into the fort and get out of
the fort by a hole in the wall at the back of the fort, through
which it was said Oomaiyan had escaped from the British. If
we look at those walls now, we wonder how we climbed up
and jumped down from them.” Bhagavan continued to look at
Ramana Lila and was discovering more mistakes.
Afternoon
Mr. G. Subba Rao read from Ramana Lila that
Sankaracharya had told one of his disciples that Bhagavan was
the third avatar of Subrahmanya, the first one having been
Kumarila Bhattar and the second Jnana Sambandhar, and asked
Bhagavan to whom it was Sankaracharya said so, Bhagavan
did not know. But he said that Sankaracharya must be the one
before the last, i.e., the third back from the present one.
Bhagavan also added, “That Sankaracharya came and met me
at Skandasramam. He must have been repeating what he heard.
It is only Nayana that started it. None said so before.” Bhagavan
came across in Ramana Lila Venkata Krishnayya’s poetic
description of Bhagavan’s travel from Madura, that in the
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vimanam of his body he was traversing daharakasha or chit
akasa and read it out to us. This reminded him of certain
incidents in the past here and he said, “Once when we were at
Skandasramam, in the month of Thai, we set out in a party of
forty or fifty for going round the Hill one night. We all had a
heavy meal before starting, with puri, etc., and tea on top. They
had taken in addition marundu (lehyam with opium in it as an
ingredient). By the time we came near here, a Namboodri,
Atmananda Swami, began saying, ‘I feel I am floating on kshira
sagara and that a ship is taking me along that ocean’. Another
said he felt that he was in the air flying in an aeroplane. Like
that, Venkata Krishnayya says I was travelling in daharakasa!”
Meanwhile Ramanatha Dikshitar came into the hall (he has
been with Bhagavan since 1912) and Bhagavan said, on seeing
him, “He must have been with us on that occasion. On another
occasion, when we were at Virupakshi Cave, we had set out to
go round the Hill and Chidambaram Subrahmanya Sastri was
the leader of the party. When we came somewhere near here,
he proposed that each one should lecture for an hour going
round the Hill, on Guru Bhakti and Ramanathan’s was the first
turn. They had all taken marundhu (i.e., ganja). R. began his
lecture and elaborated his theme that Tiruvannamalai and
Ramana, Chidambaram and Nataraja, and the body and the
Self are the same and went on elaborating the theme and
addressing ingenious arguments in support of the same with
such fervour and spirit that he far exceeded his time limit. When
he was asked to stop, he pleaded piteously for a little more
time. So he was allowed to continue. Even after he had taken
two hours he would not finish and he had to be stopped and
another was asked to speak. It was wonderful the way R. spoke.
None would have expected it of him. It was the next day he
composed the song ‘§Úfѯ SôR{d LiúPú]’.
Mr. Balaram came across a passage in Ramana Lila in which it
was mentioned that once at Virupakshi Cave Bhagavan alone
was present and was working at putting up a small wall and
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that when some visitor came there and asked Bhagavan where
was the Swami, Bhagavan told him “Swami has gone out.”
Balaram asked Bhagavan “Is it so?” Bhagavan said “Yes”.
Reading further on, Balaram came across the statement that the
man stayed a little and not finding any Swami returning went
away, that he came again on the third day, that then too he stayed
a little and finding none other than Bhagavan, was returning, that
while returning he met Echamma and was told by her his Swami
was none other than the one he saw at Virupakshi Cave that day
and the previous occasion, that Echamma later asked Bhagavan
whether it was proper for him to have misled the man like that
and that Bhagavan replied to her, “Do you want me to go about
with a bell round my neck announcing ‘I am the Swami’ or to
have a label on my forehead that I am the Swami?”
This led Bhagavan to talk of his early days, how when he
went about with only an old cod-piece and a small, tattered
towel, it was naturally not easy for anyone to think of him as a
Swami. He said, “When I was at Pachaiamman Koil I had a
small towel which was tattered and torn, almost to rags, with
threads having come out in most places. Once a cow-herd boy
made fun of this torn rag, by telling me, ‘The governor wants
this towel’. I replied, ‘Tell him I won’t give it to him!’ I never
used to spread it out in public. I used to keep it rolled into a ball
and wipe my body, hands or mouth as the occasion demanded
with the towel so rolled up into a ball. I used to wash it and dry
it in a place between two rocks, which place was never visited
by any of those who were with me. Even my cod-piece would
be tattered. When the top end used to become worn out, I would
reverse the cod-piece and use it with the bottom end topmost.
When going into the forest I would secretly mend my codpiece
with thread taken out of it with prickly pear thorn for
needle. So, nobody knew or suspected the wretched state of
my towel and cod-piece. One day somehow, one of those who
used to be with me in those days went to the place where I used
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to dry my clothes and thus by chance discovered the state of
my clothes. They then wept that they had allowed such a state
of things, that they had committed an inexcusable sacrilege
(apachara) and so on. They had with them, in trunks, whole
pieces of cloth and so many towels, etc., all meant by them to
be used for me. Only they did not know how badly torn my
towel and cod-piece were; otherwise they would have long ago
substituted others for them.” He added, “Our Muruganar has
mentioned these facts in his songs and has described that I had
Indra for my towel, (i.e., a towel with thousand eyelets or holes)
and a cod-piece stitched by means of a prickly pear spike. But
one who does not know the facts may not be able to understand
what exactly the poet meant.” He also told us two stories from
the life of Saint Sundaramurti. In one the saint was doing
worship with climbing brinjal (çÕY}) leaves, while others
took it he was preparing them for cooking. In the other, one
Somayajulu got the saint’s help through those leaves and secured
the presence of Siva at his yagna.
2-2-46 Morning
A visitor told Bhagavan that he was working for Harijan
uplift, that he and his co-workers in the cause had darshan of
Mahatma Gandhi and got his blessings, that Mahatma Gandhi
told them that if they could bring about marriages between Harijan
girls and higher caste gentlemen, such marriages would have his
blessings; and that he (visitor) would like to have Bhagavan’s
views in the matter. Bhagavan said, “If Mahatma Gandhi has
said so, we will all hear what he has said. What more is there for
us to do? He is a distinguished man and is working in that field.
What have we to do with that?” Turning to us, Bhagavan added,
“If I open my mouth, something will appear in the papers that
so-and-so has also said such-and-such a thing. The next day there
will be people to criticise it. Our business is to keep quiet. If we
enter into all these, people will naturally ask, and justifiably, ‘Why
is he interfering in all these instead of keeping quiet?’ Similarly
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if Mahatma Gandhi keeps quiet leaving aside all his activities,
they will ask, ‘Why is he keeping quiet instead of engaging in all
these activities?’ He must do what he has come for. We must do
what we have come for.”
One Ananda Swami, from Mount Abu, put questions and
got the following answers:
Question: It is said in books that the purusha is angushtha
pramana. What is it that is meant by it?
Answer: Evidently the books must be referring to the
upadhi in which the purusha is manifesting. They cannot mean
that the all-pervading purusha is angushtha pramana.
Question: Is that purusha in the heart?
Answer: If you mean the physical heart, it cannot be.
But the books describe a heart which is an inverted lotus with
a cavity inside and a flame in that cavity and all that. In such
a psychic heart, the purusha may be said to abide and the
flame may be of that angushtha pramana.
Question: Is seeing that light Self-realisation?
Answer: Abiding in it and being it, not seeing it, is Selfrealisation.
Question: In nirvikalpa samadhi what happens to the
prana?
Answer: It goes and merges where it came from.
Question: I wish to know if there will be breathing then.
Answer: It may not be then in the form of respiration,
but in some sukshma form. They talk of maha prana.
Question: What is sahaja samadhi?
Answer: It is our svabhava sthiti. It is being in our natural
state. Nirvikalpa samadhi also means merely giving up our
vikalpas. Samadhi is our natural state, if we give up the vikalpas.
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Question: What is the difference between sushupti
ananda and turiya ananda?
Answer: There are not different anandas. There is only
one ananda including the ananda enjoyed during the waking
state, the ananda, of all kinds of beings from the lowest animal
to the highest Brahma, the ananda of the Self. The bliss which
is enjoyed unconsciously in sleep is enjoyed consciously in
turiya. That is the difference. The ananda enjoyed during
jagrat is upadhi ananda.
During the greater part of the afternoon Bhagavan was
perusing a note book in which Venkatesa Sastriar had gathered
together all the sayings of Ribhu found in the Upanishads.
3-2-46 Morning
The radio news announced that four to five lakhs of people
had assembled to meet Mahatma Gandhi at Madura. Bhagavan
said, “Where is the place to hold such a crowd? Perhaps, on the
way to Alagar temple.” This led Bhagavan to think of his old
days in Madura and he said, “I had a relation, a sort of uncle,
who was manigar in that temple. So I used to go there now and
then, and we used to get all respect and attention there. They
used to make very nice pongal prasad there, with a lot of ghee.
Once they gave such prasad in a big brass plate and, as there
was none else, I carried it all the way, nearly two miles, to that
uncle’s village. But I found the people in the house did not
after all care so much for it, but gave away most of it to their
servants. They were so used to it that it did not attract them. I
used to go and play in the premises of that temple. There are
various buildings round about the temple which, though
neglected and in ruins now, were used by the Nayak Kings.
Tirumal Nayak is said to have lived there too. In those days
these Rajas used to fortify their hills and live there. See Ginjee
for instance. The Ginjee fort was built on three hills. They are
all in ruins. Padaiveedu nearby in this district was once a great
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city. Hampi was a great city and the capital of an empire. It is
said that the town was built on the model of a Sri Chakra and
that there had been some slight mistake somewhere, and that is
why, though the empire flourished well for a time, it did not
endure but failed. There is a rumour that a prophecy made by
Vidyaranya, earlier a Dewan of Hampi empire and later a
Sankaracharya, has declared that when again a descendant of
that empire or a successor of his in the mutt builds a city on the
model of Sri Chakra, a great empire will again flourish with
that city as capital. Some people have even thought that the
present Sankaracharya might be the person meant for such
destiny. Our Nayana used to feel that as this town is by nature
itself built on Sri Chakra model, by the gods themselves, if
only we could build houses all round the hill and make a city of
it, this will become the capital of a big empire. He used to be
always thinking and speaking of swaraj, dreaming and planning
for it and saying what he would do when swaraj is attained.
People say there was a town in the old, old days somewhere
here to the south of the hill. Who knows what will happen
hereafter? Did we imagine that all these houses now here were
going to be built?”
Bhagavan also said Alagar Temple was regarded by the
Saivites as a temple of Muruga (Lord Subrahmanya), even as
the Tirupati Temple, and that it was one of the six padai veedus
(TûP ÅÓ) of Muruga.
Afternoon
Bhagavan was reading the sthala purana of Tiruchuzhi,
to see how the portion connecting saint Sundaramurti with
the shrine is dealt with. He was explaining it here and there to
us, and while reading various passages extolling the saint,
Bhagavan could hardly proceed, being so choked with
emotion. At least a dozen times he was so choked and he had
to control himself and then proceed.
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4-2-46
Last night Bhagavan read in Tiruchuzhi sthala purana that
God appeared as Kalaiyar before Sundaramurti at Tiruchuzhi
and asked him to come to Kanaperur. This word, kalai might
mean either a bull or metaphorically a young and vigorous man.
The book further said he appeared with a bouquet in his hand
and weapon called chuzhiyam (trident). To clear the doubt
Bhagavan said it would be better to look into the sthala purana
of that Kanaperur if that could be had. Muruganar said that he
had presented a copy of that book to our library. So it was at
once picked out and given to Bhagavan, who went through the
book. This afternoon again he was reading the book. The doubt
could not be cleared, as almost the same words are used in this
book also. He read out some portions to us and particularly the
Sundaramurti Padalam in which the following incident, not
generally known, is also given. It seems when Siva appeared as
‘Kalaiyar’ and asked Saint Sundarar, “Why have you not sung
on us? We live at Kanaperur,” the Saint began to sing even at
Tiruchuzhi where he then was and went on singing towards
Kanaperur. On the way he stopped at Tirupunaivasal. There
the God and Goddess came to Sundaramurti as an old man and
his wife and asked him for food, saying they were very hungry.
He cooked some food in haste for them, but when it was ready
the guests could not be found. Sundaramurti searched for them
in the village, but could not trace them. When he returned home,
he found the food got ready had also disappeared. Then
Sundaramurti thought this the Lord’s lila. And a voice said,
“What are you doing here instead of coming to us at
Kanaperur?” Sundaramurti replied, “What am I to do? You go
and live in some forest. I hardly know the proper way to it.”
The voice added, “I shall be going on my bull in front of you.
Follow the bull’s footsteps.” So Sundramurti followed them
for some time. After a while the footsteps could not be found.
Sundaramurti prayed again; and again the footsteps were seen
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and followed. After some distance the footsteps ceased and
wherever he saw there were lingams. All was linga maya, jyoti
maya. However, Sundaramurti advanced in one direction and
then he espied the vimanam of the temple.
He and his party washed in the tank outside and wanted to
enter in the temple and lo! the temple disappeared. Then
Sundaramurti thought within himself, “Is it because I did not
come here first that my Lord is displeased with me?” and began
to pray. Thereupon the crests of the vimanam appeared one by
one and the temple was there. Bhagavan narrated all this to us
and turned to Saint Sundarar’s Thevaram on this shrine to see
whether the last mentioned sentiment and prayer were to be
found there. They were not found. But Bhagavan read out the
Thevaram and more than once, identifying himself with the
bhava of those songs, was greatly moved and choked with
emotion. But he did not lay aside the book as he sometimes
does when overpowered by emotion, but controlled himself
with great effort and finished the whole Thevaram. He
particularly pointed out the lines in which the saint has said
God is like nectar to those who meditate on him in reality in
their hearts transcending all bhava (TôYö¾Rm) and also the
lines where the saint calls God, his friend, lord and Master. He
laid aside the book and soon after Muruganar entered the hall
Bhagavan said, ‘He comes now’; and I explained to Muruganar
why Bhagavan said so. Soon after, Bhagavan began telling
Muruganar almost the entire story I have recorded above.
This afternoon Mrs. Taleyarkhan said, “Bhagavan, I must
report the experience I had at Tirukoilur. Though I have gone
to Tirukoilur many times before, I had not so far seen the temples
etc., visited by Bhagavan. So, I made it a point to visit them all
this time, and purposely took our Viswanath with me to show
me all the places. We first went to the Araiyani Nallur temple.
It was about 8 a.m. when we reached the temple on 2-2-46. I
found to my dismay the huge doors of the temple locked with a
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big lock. There was not a person to be seen either inside or outside
the temple. I did not know what to do. I was praying earnestly to
Bhagavan that I must somehow see all the temples and the several
places therein connected with Bhagavan’s first journey. Viswanath
told me, ‘Let us go round the outer prakara and then see what is
to be done’. So I started going round with him. But I was all
along praying hard to Bhagavan in my heart that I should not be
sent back disappointed and that I must fulfil the object of my
visit. As we were coming round, I saw at one place some water
and milk trickling down from inside the temple and I told
Viswanath there must be somebody inside the temple. But
Viswanath said it might be abishekam water trickling down. When
I was turning round the fourth corner, what was my surprise to
find the door slightly ajar, as if somebody was asking us to come
in quietly on the sly. We finished the round and entered the temple.
We found an old priest with a loveable face inside. He, however,
did not speak even a word with us throughout our stay there. He
did arathi, archana, everything for us and at our request lighted
a lamp and showed us all the places as it was dark there. We
came out and went round the temple again. By the time we
finished our round, the doors had been again locked up and the
old man gone. I feel it was only Bhagavan’s grace that opened
the doors and gave us darshan that day.” Bhagavan asked
Viswanath, “Did you enquire and find out who that old man was?”
Viswanath replied, “No. I did not.”
5-2-46
Bhagavan has been reading the Kalaiyarkoil Puranam
and explaining to us various portions therein, both in the
morning and in the afternoon. He was so absorbed in the songs
and the story that he went on explaining to us this morning
even after the papers arrived. Attendant Krishnaswami, who
was chagrined that he had been denied his usual listening to
the radio, remarked, ‘To such stories, if Bhagavan takes them
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up, there will be no end at all’. He thought he was rebuking
us who were listening and thus in a way encouraging Bhagavan
to speak on. He could not understand the pleasures of a literary
excursion such as Bhagavan was having and which one likes
to share with others. Bhagavan was explaining to us how the
poet was showing his skill and how a single stanza might
have cost the poet several days of anxious thought.
6-2-46 Morning
Last night Rajaratna Mudaliar, who was Deputy Collector
here and was leaving for Cuddalore on transfer, came to
Bhagavan to take leave. As requested by me, he had secured a
copy of the songs, conversation, etc., used by the temple priests
in connection with the EPp (love quarrel) between the God
and Goddess which is celebrated in the festival called here
EPp DtNYm and gave it to me. I left the same with Bhagavan
last night for his perusal. When I entered the hall at about 7-45
a.m., Bhagavan was reading the above and explaining the same
to those near him. Seeing me enter, Bhagavan said, ‘You are
coming only now?’ After finishing the point he was explaining
just then, he again for my benefit started reading and explaining
from the beginning and read on to the end. We found the copy
secured by Mr. Rajaratnam was not complete. I promised to
find out whether there was anything with the temple priests not
included in the copy sent to me.
Today, between 10 and 1l a.m., the foundation was laid
for Bhagavan’s new hall in front of the temple and Bhagavan
attended the function. The sthapathi in charge (Sri Vaidyanatha
Sthapathi) of the work made a short speech in which he said
that it was his aim and endeavour to see the entire work finished
in one year and that he wanted the co-operation and goodwill
of all Bhagavan’s devotees. A number of devotees also
subscribed various sums. First a widow came and offered some
money to Sarvadhikari. He took it and put it on a plate on the
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ground, saying ‘This sum, the lady is offering as her
contribution’. Thereupon various devotees began putting down
various sums. I guess the amount offered on the spot could not
have been less than Rs. 2,000. A radio singer, hailing from
Tirukoilur, sang a few songs in praise of Bhagavan and the
function ended with a feast for us, the inmates.
Afternoon
Bhagavan has read by now a great portion of the book of
Kalaiyarkoil shrine and he is of opinion that ‘Kalaiyar’ means
only a young and robust man and not a bull, i.e., he appeared
before Saint Sundara as a young man near Tiruchuzhi.
Night
After parayana, a person came and told Bhagavan, “we
are going to our village tomorrow morning.” Bhagavan said
‘Yes’ and the person left. Turning to the attendant, Bhagavan
said “@YoLÞdÏd ùLôÓjRôfNô?” (Have they been given?).
The attendant went out, enquired, came back and reported,
“They have not yet been given. But things have been reserved
to be given to them.” I was wondering what all this was about.
Bhagavan told me, “There was one Annamalai Swami when I
was at the Asramam on the hill (i.e.; Skandasramam). He died
in Thai of 1922 and was buried near Eesanya math. This is his
Guru puja or death anniversary. His relations come and celebrate
it every year. They feed poor people there and leave some rice,
etc., here. We give them our prasadam (vadai, pongal, etc.). It
is usual to sing the songs composed by that Annamalai Swami
on such Guru puja days, with our Tamil parayana. I don’t know
what they propose to do today.” I said, “If that has been the
custom, we shall certainly do the same today. Why should there
be any doubt about it?” Meanwhile Balaram asked Bhagavan
who that Annamalai Swami was. Bhagavan thereupon took out
the life of Bhagavan brought out by Kamath with 111
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illustrations and showed us a group photo in which that
Annamalai Swami is standing at the right hand end of the
picture. Bhagavan said, “Mother used to be very fond of him.
He died in Thai. She passed away in Vaikasi.” We all remarked,
on seeing the picture, that Bhagavan was very thin and lean in
it. Bhagavan said, “That is because I was then living on one
meal a day. For something like a year I was eating only one
meal a day. But this condition of mine in the picture is nothing.
You should have seen me at Gurumurtham. I was only skin and
bone, no flesh anywhere. All the bones were sticking out, collar
bone, ribs, and the hip bones. There was no stomach to be seen.
It was sticking to the back, having receded so far. So this
condition in the picture is not really so bad.” We asked Bhagavan
when this picture was taken. He said it was about Jayanti time
in 1921. From this the talk drifted to when Bhagavan was first
photographed here. Thereupon he said, “It was in 1900 or 1901.
The Government brought a photographer to take photos of some
prisoners here. There were no photographers here then. This
photographer was a disciple of Kumbakonam Mauna Swami
and had, it seems, heard of me. So he took advantage of his trip
here to visit me. He gave us a photo of his Kumbakonam Mauna
Swami and took my photo. The first group photo taken was in
1906 or so. We were six in it. I, Palaniswami, Sivayya (he had
not then become Mauna Swami of Courtallam), Pachai Pillai
(who was Sanitary Inspector here then), Rangaswami Aiyangar
(Best & Co.’s agent) and Overseer Sesha Iyer. No copy of this
is available. The Aiyangar’s family may have one. We have not
been able to find out.” At this stage Mrs. Taleyarkhan asked
Bhagavan, “Is there no photo of Bhagavan as a child?” Bhagavan
said, “In those days there were no photographers in places like
Tiruchuzhi. But when I was about seven or eight years old a
European photographer came there to take a group photo of
the Sub-Magistrate and others at Tiruchuzhi. He was staying
behind the hospital. After he had taken a group photo of the
Sub-Magistrate, my uncle Nelliappa Aiyar wanted to have a
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photo of his taken. He liked to have me also by his side in this
picture. So I was sent for from the school.
“I came in haste, just as I was, with my high forehead (i.e.,
the top of my head projecting upward) clean-shaven recently,
almost hiding the tuft behind, my jibba hanging loosely about
me, with no buttons, and all unprepared generally for being
snapped. By the time I arrived, my uncle was sitting in a chair in
the hospital compound, where there were crotons for a good
background and the photographer was busy adjusting his camera.
I was made to stand to the left of my uncle, with my right hand
on the left arm of my uncle’s chair. A big book from the hospital
was brought and I was asked to hold it in my armpit on the left
side. So placed, I was to be snapped. But as ill-luck would have
it, just as the photo was about to be taken, a fly sat on my face,
and I raised my hand to chase away the fly, with the result that in
the photo my right hand could be seen swaying in the air. We
have not been able to get at this picture either. There was no
other photo taken of me in my childhood or boyhood.”
10-2-46
About 10-30 a.m. Mr. T.K. Doraiswamy Iyer (a Retired
Professor who has settled down here for Bhagavan’s sake) showed
a letter he had received from Sir S. Radhakrishnan, in reply to
his letter asking for an article for the Souvenir which it is proposed
to bring out to celebrate the Golden Jubilee of Bhagavan’s arrival
in Tiruvannamalai. Sir S.R. has also been requested to get in
touch with Mr. Evans Wentz and get a contribution from him
also for the Souvenir. In the reply Sir S.R. had said he would do
that also. Bhagavan showed Balaram this Evans Wentz in a group
photo in Self Realisation. In this group Grant Duff is sitting to
the left of Bhagavan and Evans Wentz to the right.
Bhagavan said that it was S.R. that sent Grant Duff here.
In his introduction to Five Hymns Grant Duff confirms the above
fact, though Sir S. Radhakrishnan’s name is not mentioned.
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Afternoon
I was reading Nallaswami Pillai’s Sivajnanabhodam and
came across a sentence challenging anybody to show in any
purana that Siva took birth as avatar anywhere. I asked Bhagavan
if it was not said that Siva was born as son to Vallala Maharaja in
this place, and was even supposed to do annual ceremony every
year to Vallala Maharaja. Bhagavan then explained that Siva was
not born in any woman’s womb even according to that story, that
when Vallala’s wife approached Siva, who had come as an old
man, according to her husband’s orders, she found the old man
suddenly transformed into a male child; and that when she called
her husband and both tried to take the child, the child disappeared
and the God then assured Vallala that he himself would perform
funeral rites and annual ceremonies for him. In this connection
Bhagavan also narrated to me another story in Tiruvilaiyadal
Puranam in which God appeared first as an old man, then changed
into a young man, and finally into a child. The story is to be
found in Vriddha, Kumara, Bala Padalam.
A visitor, an old devotee of Bhagavan, had brought with
him a book called Ramanopakhyanam by one Thangavelu Nadar.
I imagined from the title that the book dealt with Bhagavan’s life
and teachings. But Bhagavan told me it contained only the stanzas
found in some nadi horoscope of Bhagavan, with the notes or
commentary of a gentleman who was then editing a Tamil paper.
He added that, besides this version, some other nadi versions of
Bhagavan’s horoscope have been traced and sent to the Asramam
by different devotees. I thereupon remarked, “But it is said these
so-called nadi horoscopes are not all quite correct on all points!”
Bhagavan said, “Various people in various parts of the country
claim to have various nadis. We don’t know. This Thangavelu
Nadar was originally at Kumbakonam. There used to be one at
Tindivanam. When anybody went to him, he used to tell them,
‘You must go and have darshan of Ramana Maharshi, at such
and such a time. The same is indicated in the nadi horoscope’;
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and they used to come here and tell me about it. When I was at
Skandasramam, Jadaswami came across some person who was
said to be a great expert in reading one’s palm and tracing one’s
horoscope from there. He seems to have read Jadaswami’s
horoscope in that way, and Jadaswami had apparently been greatly
impressed. So, he brought the palmist to me and said, ‘This is a
great expert in this line. Even if we spend a great deal of money,
we will not be able to get his services. All his readings are correct.
It is fortunate he has come our way. I have brought him to you.
Please show him your palm. He will tell all your future.’ I declined.
He tried to persuade me. But I never showed my palm and I told
him, ‘We have not understood the present. Why should we seek
to know the future?’”
11-2-46 Morning
My old servant Divakaran came with me. As Bhagavan
did not seem to recognise him, I reminded Bhagavan about
him and told him he was now employed in Cochin, near his
native village. This led to talk of Cochin State and Bhagavan
said that Madhavi Amma (wife of Dr. P.C. Nambiar) had
written that the present Maharaja was her daughter Janaki’s
father-in-law. I added, “Prabhavati (a princess of Devas, who
used to be here and has now married one Mr. Sekharan of Dr.
Pandalai’s family) is connected with the Travancore State.
So, we are now connected with both the States.”
Bhagavan said, “Yes, yes. Even before this marriage,
through Mrs. Pandalai, now through Prabhavati also.”
Afternoon
On further reading of the Kalaiyarkoil Puranam, Bhagavan
told us, “It was not at Tirupunaivasal that God and Goddess
appeared to Saint Sundarar as an old man and his wife. I find it
was at Tiruchuzhi itself. After having been asked by God to
come to Kanaperur, it seems Saint Sundarar was thinking of
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going to Tirupunaivasal, possibly because he thought he had to
go that way to reach Kanaperur. It was then that Sundarar met
that old gentleman and his wife who mysteriously disappeared
and also heard the Voice (asariri).” Bhagavan also sent for the
book in the library which gives a map of all the places of
pilgrimage, etc., and found that Tirupunaivasal is east of
Kanaperur and situated on the sea coast. Bhagavan had asked
Viswanath to add to his Tamil manuscripts of Tiruchuzhi Thala
Mahimai an account of Sundaramurti Padalam. Mr. Viswanath
had written out an account accordingly to be added to the
manuscript. Bhagavan perused it and suggested some
improvements.
12-2-46
A party of about fifty, mostly ladies, clad in ochre
coloured saris and said to belong to the Satchidananda
Asramam at Cocanada, arrived with their Guru, Rama
Lakshmamma, and attended the morning parayana.
Afternoon
Nagamma read her Telugu version of Kalaiyarkoil story
in Sundaramurti Padalam, and Bhagavan was listening and
correcting where necessary. After it was read out, when
Viswanath came in, Bhagavan suggested that a copy of the
stanzas in the above Padalam must be made and kept in the
Tiruchuzhi Puranam for reference. Bhagavan had already
copied a few stanzas with the above object. Viswanath said
he would complete it.
Evening
The Cocanada party again attended parayana in the
hall and afterwards recited Siva Stotra and Siva Mahima
Stotra in Sanskrit.
(Continued ...)
(My humble salutations to the lotus feet of Bhagavan Sree Ramana Maharshi
and also gratitude to great philosophers and others for the collection
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